A/N: OK, so update. I am heading off to grad school, which means I will probably say good-bye to free time for the rest of the semester until Christmas break rolls around. That means another long delay for updates. I apologize.

On another note, I took some time to try to plan out how these next few canon arcs would go. Now that Perona has officially joined up with the Straw Hat crew, I'm finding it challenging to write a story that still follows the original story, while recreating it to become an entirely new one. I definitely don't want to repeat entire scenes, line by line, from the manga (because if we wanted to read that, we would read the actual manga and not my horrid imitation), but I can't help it if a few dialogue scenes get dropped in here for the sake of keeping the story in context. Please be patient with the occasional, word-by-word copied scenes.

At the same time, my memories of the exact sequence of events around this time starts to get fuzzy. I have not re-read the series in a long time and I don't really have time for that. That means: event orders may be butchered, and I might leave out details altogether. Whatever, it's not supposed to be a perfect fic, so I've decided not to worry about it. It's AU after all, so I get to call the shots. Right? Right?

As always, thank you for your patience, your readership, and your comments. All are much appreciated!

Chapter 9: Princess Back on the Grand Line

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"You fool!" screeched a loud voice in the middle of the sea. "You imbecile! Worthless . . . idiot! What were you thinking!? No, you weren't thinking. That's what it is!"

"Oh, look, there's a door."

This enlightening discovery was promptly ignored by the irate female voice.

"How do you ever get the idea to just punch a whale in the eye! What are we going to do, you stupid, rubber-brained...!"

"I'll check it out!"

"What? Luffy, hang on a . . . !"

Splash!

Atop the vast ocean waves of the Grand Line, Perona floated lightly in the air a couple hundred feet above the water. Her mouth was open agape, as her eyes stared down at the spot below her where the huge whale had dived under. Except for a few sloshing waves and swirling foam racing over the water's surface, there was no sign of anything having been there. Not the whale, not Luffy, not the Going Merry with the Strawhat crew perched neatly on top of it.

She might just have gotten to escape dragging Luffy by his collar. But no, the boy had dove straight into a manhole that led into the whale.

Why was there a manhole in the side of a whale anyway!?

She wondered what exactly she was supposed to do now, surrounded by ocean water and the crew somewhere under it.

They weren't dead, were they?

This wasn't her first time traveling through the Grand Line, but it had admittedly been the first time she entered it in such breathless excitement. After all, she had always traveled through the oceans via more official, government-endorsed route. That, of course, being the holy city of Mariejois. Reverse Mountain was considered the outdated, illegal means of entering the Grand Line, usually reserved for pirates and other riffraffs of that sort. Of course, now she actually belonged to a pirate crew, whereas back then, she had been a government-recognized businesswoman, totally free to pass through the Marine-infested cities dotting the Red Line. It also explained her ignorance of the true danger of the Calm Belt – she had only sailed through it on the deck of ships lined with seastone.

Well, forgetting about her moment of undignified screeching back there.

She'd been feeling pretty excited about the whole thing. She'd always considered Reverse Mountain a rather inelegant way to travel, what with the constant storms and uncontrollable currents. But the Straw Hat crew had a way taking such crude subjects and transforming them into something more – something adventurous, and fun, and fulfilling.

But now. "Why is it that in the first five minutes of arriving on Grand Line waters, I have to be wondering whether or not everyone has ended up dead!"

She would get early wrinkles on her forehead at this rate!

Biting her lip, Perona screwed up her face in an effort to block out the teasing bits of worry rom her mind. "At . . . at least let me retrieve my Sea King designs!"

Some of her Negative Hollows swooped out at their mistress' distress call, but couldn't do much else except hover around her. They would dissolve instantly if they tried to dive after the whale; the sea water proved fatal to both Perona and her Hollows. She had already taken a few slaps of ocean water from the Calm Belt episode just moments ago – though that wasn't enough to incapacitate her, a full dive into the waters was plain impossible. With a certain helpless feeling threatening to settle around them, Perona began fingering the handle of her parasol restlessly, and hovered this way and that while squinting down at the waters.

Maybe she'd be able to make out some large shadow in the depths.

If she could just get the whale to spit them back out somehow…

She inched down as close as she dared. She could practically feel the coolness of the ocean surface wafting against her face, as the waves lapped against each other to create swirls and breezes. Ocean spray often flung up into her face. Her hair, having been loosened from her expert twin tails a long, long time ago, drooped all around her face, causing her to blow at her bangs in frustration. Perona bobbed up and down, trying to avoid the deadly droplets while peering down intently. She felt like she was trying to sew a new kind of stitch with a sewing machine she had just bought, and that the stitch just wasn't coming along like she wanted it to.

"Heyyyy," she called down, not really expecting an answer. "Are you aliiiiiiiive?"

The lapping ocean waves mocked her in a gentle rhythm. Slish – slosh …

"Kumashiiiiii!" she tried again.

"Answer me, idiots…" she murmured under her breath. Suddenly, the weight of the Grand Line's reputation seemed to fall heavily onto her shoulders, despite the powers of her Horo Horo no mi that rendered her completely immune to gravity. This was the pirates' graveyard. This was where the majority of pirates perished in the freak accidents of nature that occurred all too commonly in the ocean. As stupid as it sounded to have died from digestion by a giant ocean whale, she had heard of more ridiculous, insane, and utterly tragic stories circulating among the Grand Line islands.

"If you die, I'll haunt you for the rest of your life—!" she yelled out. The faint echoes of her last words reverberated against the cliff face of Reverse Mountain.

"Oh no, did our Perona's friends drown in the ocean?"

"…"

That voice.

She frowned.

That voice – it couldn't be.

Keeping her head down, she instead let her Hollows turn around to look behind her.

They saw an incoming ship, and began bobbing up and down in recognition. Through the supernatural eyes of her Hollows, Perona saw the ship as well. Irritation welled up in her eyes, though with her back turned, nobody could see it except the sea below.

The ship was a worn vessel, sails slightly torn and a large pirate skull drawn onto it. From the head of the ship, a tall figure stood waving at her in a friendly manner. Too friendly, if anyone cared to ask her. Behind him crowded a number of ungainly crewmen, each poking their head out of the railings to catch a glimpse. The ship had not quite come near her vicinity yet, but Perona scooted away from it warily. Her eyes narrowed into an annoyed glare, but she kept her glare firmly glued to the murky ocean depths.

"Now, now, missy, it isn't proper to ignore the greeting of an old acquaintance! Why don't you come here and say hi to us like a proper little lady, eh?"

The grin in his tone could not be hidden. It served to annoy her more than anything. She wished Kumashi were here so that she could throw him onto the ship and have him wreck some havoc, without needing her to get close. But her poor bear, her gallant Kumashi-kun, had drowned inside the whale along with the rest of the crew…

"Go away," she replied petulantly, then continued circling over the water like a hawk, floating gently over the place that its prey had disappeared. She tried hard to ignore the looming presence of the ship in the periphery of her Hollow's vision. As if reflecting her irritatability, her Negative Hollow stuck its tongue out at the intrusive man and his cronies.

"Aww, are you ignoring us? You should come here, sit down, and have some of that hot chocolate you love so much."

The ship had sailed a bit closer. Through the eyes of her two Hollows she could make out a wide-brimmed hat and an elegant coat – the kind a nobleman would wear.

Not bothering to answer his question, she snapped at him, "Why are you even here? Go back to the Florian Triangle, so that I can rest easy knowing you and your little corpses are rotting in the fog."

At her harsh tone, the man swooned dramatically in place, feigning a great injury. "Oh no! Our Perona, We are sorry that you've felt lonely all this time! What a harsh two years it must have been for you, with the Tennryubito coming after you in their stupid, selfish whims. You can't imagine our shock when we found your Wanted poster published in last week's paper. But!"

The man spread his arms in a welcoming embrace. The sun had shifted to the far left, as the Grand Line sun was wont to do at a moment's notice, revealing the furry, whiskered lion's head underneath the brim of his hat. Absalom voiced triumphantly, "Fear no more, our sweet Perona! Captain Moriah has graciously offered to protect you from anything or anyone that may try to harm you. Even bounty hunters, or the marine admirals, or anyone else. Furthermore…!"

Here he swept his arm back towards his crew in what he figured was an elegant manner. "I present to you your own army of cute, cuddly servants to cater to your every whim! The Captain generously remembered that you once expressed a wish to commandeer your own army of plush dolls, yes? Dr. Hogsback created these especially for you, made from obedient shadows collected from the nearby resident areas."

At this, Perona did grace the man with more than a cursory glance. The motly crew of "plush dolls" standing behind the lion-headed pervert noticed her looking at them, and began waving at her enthusiastically. What she saw were a great many hulking beasts and grotesque monsters, poorly sewn together and patched up using second-grade cotton linen and cheap fiber yarn. With a disdainful sniff, Perona flew closer to the ship to where Absalom stood waiting. The man gave her a wide grin.

She replied with a condescending snort. "That piggy monster on the far left has far too much black and not enough pink to set off the poorly shaped nose on its left cheek. That beaver-looking creature over there? It has three ears, an overly flabby tail, and square-shaped buttons for eyes, not to mention that hideous shade of green in its midriff. And what's that collier zombie doing with its tail hanging out of its neck!? You call this cute? You call this cuddly? Stay away from me and take your freakish army with you. Or better yet, put those disgusting shadow things back where they come from!"

The entire ship's crew staggered back in unison, stunned at her vehement insults. Absalom, the perverted lion that always pretended it was some kind of noble, gestured wildly at the zombies, who had gone into a sulky silence and began shuffling towards the rear deck.

"No! Wait! Come back! Of course Perona-chan didn't mean to call you guys sinfully ugly!"

"Of course I didn't. You said that yourself."

As one, the entire crew turned to give Absalom a look.

He grasped his head in his paws. "Guah! No, I didn't mean it…!"

"As stupid as ever, I see."

"Perona-chaaaaan!"

Perhaps the condemning stares of both ghost girl and zombie crew proved to be too much. The man flickered and instantly disappeared from where he stood, still yelling about his innocence.

Perona did not even blink as the thundering boom of a cannon shattered the relatively peaceful ocean scene. She watched a large cannonball passed through her body at breakneck speed, wraiths of her ghostly form whipping away from her stomach, only to quickly return and fill in the shape of her body once again. A second cannon shot was fired, invisible until the moment of its launch. This one she dodged – it was infused with Haki.

Dangerous, dangerous.

"Still a lousy aim, even after two years," she mocked, flying a bit higher as she did so. Behind her, both cannonballs careened into the rock face of the cliffs, sending chunks of dirt into the ocean.

At her insult, Absalom re-emerged from his invisible state, this time allowing the bazookas in his hands to blink into visibility as well. "We'll have you yet, Perona-chan! The Shadow Lord's army needs a beautiful, talented young lady like you. And in our company, we will shield you from all those who dare to go after this bounty!"

With a flourish of his hand, he flashed a Wanted poster in her direction, its freshly printed edges fluttering slightly in the calm winds. The inviting gesture did nothing to stop his other hand from pulling the trigger for a third cannonball attack. With a calm assessment of its trajectory (the little ball of iron was too slow. Like the thick-headed Absalom, who thought he could win her over in such a rude, obnoxious manner), Perona threw her left hand forward, a bright blue Hollow bobbing out of her fingertips.

"Go away," she huffed. Taking the cue, the Blue Hollow shot into the cannonball, stopping it within inches of Perona's face. It didn't matter that the cannonball was reinforced with Haki – as long as it wasn't seastone, Perona's Hollows could possess it. And return it in kind.

As the cannonball did a full 180 and plunged into the hull of Absalom's ship, Perona gave out a couple more negative Hollows to help chase them away for good. The panicked motions of the zombies and their cotton-mouthed screeches did not help her mood at all. She didn't have time for stupid men and their little cronies. There were people drowning in the stomach acid of a whale even as they spoke.

With despairing screeches and groans, the crew fell incapacitated, with chunks of their foredeck and hull splintered to pieces. She just might have added some extra mini Hollows into the mix to make sure they learned their lesson. Not enough to incapacitate their ship – she didn't want to get stuck with them on this side of the Grand Line (or any side, really). Just enough to let them know she meant business.

"P-P-Perona-chan! What have you done to my specially made crew!?" screeched Absalom, as one by one the stuffed animals slumped awkwardly onto the dirty deck. Most of them didn't seem to have the ability to speak. They sort of mumbled or growled incoherently.

"Hmph," Perona gave a flip of her hair (never mind the fact that her beautiful curls looked just a little soppy from being ruined in the storm just minutes ago). "I know how Moriah's little shadow powers work. Even if they're just stuffed, bed-raggled little toys, they have enough emotion in them to fall into depression."

Absalom shook a little, whether for fear or excitement…

"H-How magnificent! Thriller Bark most certainly needs you in our crew! With the power to possess inanimate objects, your powers of the Horo Horo Fruit would double, no, triple the size of our undead army. Not to mention your Hollow network! It far surpasses any mediocre master of the Observation Haki…its range is nearly unparalleled in all the seas of the Grand Line."

At this point, the oaf seemed to be muttering to himself more than at Perona, who leveled him a very unimpressed look.

Unfazed, the lion…man…ugly thing continued. "Yes, the destructive and manipulative potentials of that power…it is absolutely necessary for the success of Lord Moriah's plans. Our island would become impenetrable – no enemy could possibly sneak past the perimeters once a thousand Hollows are sent out to guard the gates. They could fly out to wherever we need, and fetch back all supplies that we could possibly want. They could even help me search for the most perfect, beautiful bride…! Perona, come! If you join us, we guarantee that you will want for nothing! The best sweets and hot chocolate! The best stuffed toys! We will even give you shelter from the World Nobles – even they would think twice before crossing a Shichibukai of Gecko Moriah's status. There is nothing lacking on our…! P-Perona?"

"Are you quite finished?" she called over her shoulder blandly. She had gotten bored, and had turned back to continue her fruitless search of the underwater depths. Oh, look. A dolphin. "If you're finished, then why don't you head on back down the Grand Line."

Already, several of her blue Hollows had infused themselves into the rather large ship underneath Absalom's feet. Perona waved the back of her hand airily. With a lurch and several unsteady jerks, the ship began to move away from Perona, its half-mangled state posing little problem when she had a couple ghosts haunting it and steering it. Absalom gave a cry of surprise as his vessel shifted with a mind of its own.

Usually, possessing and controlling huge objects like a galleon ship took some more strain than Perona cared to put in. It took a good deal of concentration to get the whole thing going. With her back turned to him, Perona kept her posture carefully lax while screwing up her face in the effort it took to jump start the ship on her intended course. Of course, the fact that the ocean waters lay completely calm helped her out a lot – she couldn't maneuver the brigs and sails well enough to send Absalom and his ugly army out of her sight. Right now, putting in about a dozen individual Blue Hollows seemed good enough to get the job done. "Send him about partway down the Grand Line, in the stormiest parts of the sea."

With one last despairing shriek, Absalom and his crew rapidly faded from Perona's view, satisfying her immensely.

Her Hollows had their instructions – once she got them going, even if she tuned them out afterwards, they would still carry out her orders perfectly. The pervert lion would probably find himself in the currents bordering an Autumn Island and a Winter Island, where the currents swirled into a deadly combination. If he survived, good for him.

If he didn't, good riddance.

With a devilish smirk, Perona let a few more Negative Hollows drift out from her body and hover over the waters. They couldn't dive in, but they could at least increase her search range…

After about 15 minutes or so, Perona found herself admitting that her "search and rescue" plan had been entirely unnecessary. Not to mention the long, long minutes she spent fretting over the Strawhats' possible mutilation via stomach acid.

The gigantic whale from before came popping back out of the water, just inches in front of her nose. The accompanying gale was enough to send her weightless body spinning ungracefully towards the Cliffside. With an indignant cry, she righted herself and whirled upon the offending creature – right before her eyes widened, and she jumped out of the way reflexively as the whale rammed its head straight into the cliff rocks behind her. She floated away to a safe distance after that, staring apprehensively as the beast performed damaging headbutts against the cliff face over and over again. Once in a while, He blared out a whale cry that sounded as if an entire fleet's worth of marine ships had their horns honking at the same time.

She stayed near until the whale stopped, trying to decide her best course of action, until at last the whale stopped its weird antics long enough to allow a bedraggled Straw-hat crew to pop out of the whales spout, along with the Going Merry and everything, to land messily in the open waters once more.

"About time you got back out here," she snapped at them, masking her relief in a flurry of somersaults through the air with her Hollows.

Luffy grinned and waved at her, shouting something about a sky and an island inside the whale. She rolled her eyes at his idiocy.

In half an hour or so, Perona helped Sanji set up a tea set on a small picnic table atop the protruding cliff by the exit of Reverse Mountain. A lighthouse stood next to them, and she had a strange suspicion that Crocus, the old man claiming to operate it, hadn't the foggiest idea how lighthouses were supposed to operate. Why else would the yellow light be blinking this way and that right now, useless in the blazing midday sun?

"What tea is this?" she inquired, settling down on a bench and crossing her legs daintily. She had taken the chance to change into a drier set of clothes. To her dismay, she had already run out of skirts and dresses to wear, so had to opt for a pair of hot pink jeans instead. Whatever. With a plain black tee like the one she was sporting, nothing could go wrong as far as fashion went. It was just a bit too…tame for her tastes. At least she had been able to re-apply her make-up (she had screamed at the top of her lungs when she saw the state of her soaked face in the lighthouse bathroom's cracked mirror).

Sanji hopped over immediately, noting the tinge of orange and pink swirling together in Perona's cup. "It's mikan rose petal tea, Perona-chan! Supposedly good for soothing skin and maintaining a proper amount of moisture, even for the driest of skins…"

"Hm, it's good," she noted absent-mindedly, sipping another mouthful while carefully avoiding smearing her black lipstick.

"It makes my heart glad to hear you appreciate it, my dear!" Sanji gushed brightly, before twirling over to Nami and helping her with a three-layered chocolate parfait. How he even got that enormous dessert set up within the last five minutes was beyond Perona.

"So," Nami began, scooping up a spoonful of the parfait, "we should probably be leaving soon. Crocus, do you have a map on the surrounding area? Which direction is the nearest island?"

"Hm?" Crocus gave Nami a questioning look. "What do you mean, what direction? You'll need to decide that on your own, wouldn't you?"

She frowned. "What do you mean?"

Crocus scratched his head, seeming just as confused as the navigator. "I can't just tell you which island to go to. It's your crew's decision to make. I've met some indecisive pirate crews crossing through here in the past, but it's best to make up your mind as to the island you're going to before heading out. Otherwise, you'll get lost in the seas forever."

"Like I said," Nami's patient voice interrupted Crocus' explanation, "we are going to choose which island to go to, but we just want to know which direction we need to take. I'm assuming most of them would lie in the Western direction? Judging from this world map…"

Here Nami whipped out a roughly drawn map of the world globe, tapping a finger against the straight line labelled "Grand Line."

Crocus seemed at a loss.

Perona snorted incredulously. "That's it, we're doomed. Our navigator hasn't even done her research on how to not get lost on the Grand Line. I expect our ship will drown 10 minutes out to sea."

"What do you mean by that!? Research?" the orange-haired woman swiveled around to face Perona, clearly unhappy with the insult to her profession.

Perona gave the girl a scathing glare of her own, before waving her left arm in the air with an uncaring flick of her fingers. "See this?"

At her motion, the entire Straw-hat crew shifted their eyes to look at her upheld hand.

After a few moments of silence, Zoro's disgruntled voice questioned, "…bracelets?"

"NO! You frond-for-brains, this is a compass!" Perona hissed. Although she had to admit quietly that the log pose strapped to her wrist remained rather unnoticeable next to the assortment of bands, chains, and charmed jewelry pieces dangling from her forearms.

To make it clear, she pointed her manicured nail at the small, glass bulb poised at the top of her wrist, where it sat easily accessible at a single glance. "This, this is a log pose. Do not expect to survive on the Grand Line without one. In fact, I'd say pack at least a dozen in case you lose or break one! Though I'd guess East Blue country bumpkins like you wouldn't know," she earned herself a few indignant yelps of protest, which she silenced with a dismissive humph, "but out here on the Grand Line, not knowing how to operate one of these means absolute suicide! I'd bet that the ugly man that tried to mess up Sanji's restaurant didn't have any idea these things even existed, or they would have used it to steer way, way, way clear of that deranged Hawkeye."

It took a few more minutes of explanation from the old man for Nami to comprehend the absolute value of the log pose, after which the girl came and gave Perona a squeezing hug. She heard the girl mutter something about having crew members who were actually helpful.

"At least you know," replied Perona, looking away from Nami with something between a grin and a scowl on her face.

She honestly couldn't blame Nami for that sentiment, especially as she watched Luffy get kicked in the face by Sanji for trying to steal food from her plate. Their undignified scramble ended when Luffy's body got forcibly tossed into the air by the enraged Sanji's kick course. Perona didn't even bother getting up; her chair glowed bright blue and lightly jumped into the air, allowing the pirate boy to go sailing past her with a surprised yelp.

She sipped her tea. The chair floated back to the ground with a gentle motion.

"Perona-chan~ would you like some lemon cakes to go with your drink, my sweet?" Sanji swirled over to where she sat, a plate of yellow delicacies held out on one hand. How did he even have time to bake these? Perona waved them away, "maybe later, Sanji. I need to watch my weight right now."

"Of course! Whatever and whenever you wish, please feel free to let me know what you would like as a snack," the cook bowed to her with a flourish, ending the motion with a jab of his foot into Luffy's shin, who had inched closer with the hopes of winning himself a baked morsel.

"Sanjiiii, I want cakes too!" the captain pouted.

"Get away from my lemon bars, you bottomless stomach!"

And off they go.

The rest of their afternoon teatime on the Cliffside was spent schooling Nami in the basics of Grand Line navigation. At one point, they got to hear the story of the gigantic whale swimming next to Reverse Mountain, and Luffy proceeded to break Usopp's heart by pinning the mast into the whale's head.

"Merry!" screeched Usopp, running around in circles as he stared helplessly at the wooden pole stuck into Laboon, high above the reach of normal humans. "Luffy, what have you done!?"

Luffy entirely ignored him in favor of addressing the whale. "…and when I come all the way back around, we'll finish our fight once and for all. All right?"

"Boooooooooooo!"

So a whale could have a cute side too. Perona filed away this bit of information for later use, and took a bit of time to note the round body structure of the beast – it would lend itself quite nicely to a children's hat design. In fact, she wanted to get back to her unfinished Sea King sketches soon. Add in a series of whale-based hat and glove designs while she was at it.

"P-P-Peronaaaaa!" a wailing Usopp suddenly rushed up to where she sat, causing her to lean backwards with a grimace. He had a panicked expression on his face that did not flatter his features in any way, shape, or form.

"What?" she snapped, putting her teacup back on the table to avoid getting his spittle all over it.

"You need to help get Merry's mast back from there! If it breaks, then Merry won't be able to sail! We can't afford to lose her now! Our poor ship has barely entered the Grand Line, and already she's…!" the man was on the verge of tears.

She gave him a pitying look. Entirely sarcastic, of course. "And I need to help… why?"

"B-b-because…!" this gave Usopp a bit of a pause. "Because deep down, you're a nice girl at heart!"

That earned him a solid whack from Perona's parasol. She didn't hold back, and she made sure the blunt tip made solid connection with the stupid man's temple. He crouched low, groaning and holding his head in his hands.

"How dare you accuse me of being nice," she all but flung herself into the air, heading straight for the wooden mast impaled upon the whale's forehead. "I am not nice! I am beautiful, elegant, and dignified. A world-class fashion designer doesn't ever succeed by being nice, you got that, numbskull?"

Usopp blinked back his tears, and nodded at her vigorously. With a quick scramble, he got to his feet and dashed towards the Going Merry, where the disembodied mast and sails were slowly descending from the air, glowing an eerie blue. "Y-yup, elegance and digniful and whatever else, all at once! Thanks Perona! Now if you could just… hold it there above the broken bit… I need to grab my hammer and nails…"

The boy jumped aboard and made for his tools as quickly as he could. He kept shouting out "just five more seconds!" every two seconds or so as he gathered the planks and carpentry materials he needed. Perona sat with her legs crossed on the railings, two Blue Hollows positing the mast quite effortlessly in place. Overall, she appeared decidedly unamused. She punctuated Usopp's back and forth motions with scathing comments the whole time – "hurry it up" – "my gosh, you are so slow at this" – "I'm going to let go if you don't finish right now!"

But ultimately, Usopp got the mast nailed back in place with minimum effort, and Going Merry survived its first major catastrophe without too much to show for it. Sometime during their emergency operation on their caravel, the green-haired swordsman decided to wander on board and try to take a nap next to them. Perona beat him with the umbrella until he begrudgingly helped Usopp hammer in the planks the rest of the way.

"Whew, thanks Perona, Zoro, it's definitely easier to fix a mast if someone's holding it in place for me…" Usopp wiped his brow as he petted the repaired wood fondly.

The ghost princess gave his adoring expression a rather disgusted look before flying back towards the cliff. So Luffy's sniper was in love with the ship.

Well, there were stranger relationships out there.

Perona decided to be merciful and tactfully ignore the boy's apparent attachment to the inanimate ship. With as much negativity as he possessed, god knows he needed the comfort.

As she stepped back onto the cliff, where some sort of commotion was going on, an especially nasty piece of wind came whipping into her hair, throwing a piece of paper violently into her face. She squealed in surprise at the slap of parchment against her skin, grabbing it instinctively before it could fly away.

"What the—!?" she ripped it off her face, while furtively glancing around to make sure no one saw that completely undignified moment. A muffled snort behind her back told her Usopp had seen something of it. She dealt with it with a whack-a-mole hammer that she commanded a Hollow to grab from Usopp's desk, pounding his head in over and over again until he relented and squeaked for forgiveness.

Hmph.

She narrowed her eyes at him in a threatening manner, and he nodded back with all the instincts born of self-preservation. Beside him, the Zoro had dozed off against the rails – no danger of dignity lost there.

Satisfied, Perona glanced down at the paper.

Oh.

She felt a displeased frown on her lips.

"Wanted Dead or Alive: Ghost Princess Perona – 15 million beli."

Above the print was a large picture of herself – one taken on the streets of Mariajois almost one year ago. She had her clothing stall beside her, and was in the process of giving a rude customer a dressing-down. Maybe that customer had been the Tennryubito that had this bounty issued. She didn't care. This was probably the bounty poster that Absalom had been waving in his hands like a maniac.

"Of all the pictures to use…!" she groused, unhappy with the irate expression her picture self wore on the parchment. Of course, the entire bounty poster had been printed in shades of black and teal, allowing none of her color-coordinated outfit to show off its true glamor. If this was what the rest of the world saw of her, then her clothing line would lose popularity, and fast.

The fact that she had a bounty issued by the World Government did nothing to help her reputation as a trustworthy merchant.

"Please!" a voice Perona didn't recognize shouted from the edge of the cliff. "Take us back to our town, Whiskey Peak! We can't tell you the details of our organization, but…! If you would be willing to help us get back home out of the goodness of your hearts…!"

Perona looked up, shoving the bounty poster into the little, pink pouch hanging from her studded belt.

She saw a man and a woman, both unfamiliar, groveling in front of Nami and shouting at her in desperation.

The man wore a large crown on his head. Was that what she thought it was?

Nami leaned back against the picnic table casually and gestured to her captain. "But you know, Luffy had your log pose with him and shattered it just now because he was being an idiot. Do you still want to come with us?"

"WHAT!? It's broken! How dare you…!"

Perona sniggered as Nami then looked back at her, as if only just noticing her there. "Oh! But then again, Perona has an extra log pose with her, so I suppose…"

""Please take us with you.""

"Horohorohorohoro, our navigator has a knack for messing with people's heads, hm?" Perona mused, her previous bad mood entirely replaced by the amusing sight before her. Watching people groveling in the dirt had always been Perona's preferred form of entertainment.

She walked over to Nami and unclasped her log pose, handing it over to the only other female crew member on their ship. "Here, might as well hand it over now, since you'll be in charge of that part of sailing from now on. I've relied on that thing for at least 5 years of my life, so don't you dare lose it! And of course, you're always welcome to give it back if it becomes too much."

Perona gave Nami an appropriate smirk, which the girl returned in kind. "I'll show you what a navigator with my abilities is capable of! I suppose now that I know how to use this thing, there's no point in hanging out here any longer. Luffy, ready to set sail?"

"Yeah!" the boy bounced up from his seat and stood up, pointing towards the ocean with a confident grin. "We'll go to these guys' island."

"Eh? Are you sure about that?"

Crocus spoke up. "I wouldn't do that if I were you. Those guys are nothing but trouble."

"Meh," Luffy just shrugged. "We can always come back and go another way if we want to."

"Are you stupid?" Perona huffed, leaning to one side with a hand on her hip to fully express her scorn. "There is no coming back once you've set yourself on a course here. You pick an island, you'll be stuck on that course until you reach Sabaody Archipelago."

All she got for her explanation was a confused tilt of the head from Luffy, and a string of praises from Sanji about her intelligence and sound judgment.

Perona stared disbelievingly at the idiotic group before her, then rolled her eyes.

She rolled them dramatically, just for good measure.

"Let me guess. What's Sabaody Archipelago?"

"Is it food?"

"Whatever."

Luffy appeared undeterred by Perona's lack of interest, and instead turned back to the matter at hand. "It's okay, we'll still take them."

"But Luffy…" Nami began.

"Well, they certainly don't seem entirely bad," Perona suddenly commented.

Here she turned back to give the intruders a meaningful scan. The two straightened unconsciously, unnerved by the unblinking glare of the girl wearing too much pink and black. The dark, shadowy mascara accenting her eyelids served to double the intimidating impression.

"What was your name again?" Perona puzzled.

"Mr. 8, baby!" the man shouted nervously.

"Ms. Wednesday!"

"Hn," Perona gave an upwards quirk of her mouth. "You're wearing Princess Brand accessories. A good taste in fashion indicates a sensible head on your shoulders, wouldn't you say so?"

"That's your standard?" came Usopp's disbelieving voice from somewhere behind her. Perona ignored the poor, uninformed soul. A fashion designer who couldn't identify the right kind of customers might as well call it quits before even starting a business. Perona knew what she was about.

The woman called Ms. Wednesday looked at her in confusion. "Huh? Princess Brands…?"

"Oh! Ms. Wednesday! Your bracelet and my crown, baby!"

"Oh my! The ones you bought for us from the previous island…" she looked down at her wrist, where indeed a magenta-colored band lay snug over her sleeves, the fake diamond studs creating an intricate pattern over the surface. Likewise, a matching magenta-colored crown sat precariously on Mr. 8's head.

"I told you they would bring good luck!" Mr. 8 exclaimed excitedly. "These items are limited edition, but always come in good quality even at a decent price, so they are always on demand at local retail stores… I couldn't believe I found them in the marketplace like that. If we sell them off later, we can make a significant marginal profit…"

"Excuse me!?" suddenly, Perona towered over Mr. 8's prone form in a frighteningly dangerous way, her hair billowing wildly in the waves of her anger. "Did I just hear that you are planning on illegally reselling my limited edition, specially handcrafted Bloody Princess line accessories? Has my product gone to such an irresponsible, utterly detestable, absolute felon of a man?"

"Of-of course not! Never! These are our lifelong treasures, to keep in with ourselves for the rest of our lives, for as long as we live! Really! We would never dream of…!"

Just as easily as she started, Perona gave them a flippant wave. The air around her dissipated, leaving the frightened duo breathing a sigh of relief. "As long as you understand. Of course I misheard you. There's no way anyone with half a brain would consider buying my beautiful works just to make some money."

Nami flinched a bit guiltily, but wisely held her tongue as Perona sauntered back towards the Going Merry. Following Luffy's excited commands to get ready to set sail, the crew gathered up their leftovers and prepared to bid Crocus goodbye. Due to Luffy's adamant insistence, they decided they would drop off Mr. 8 and Ms. Wednesday at the next island.

"I can't exactly stop you since you've made up your mind," the old man sighed as their ship hauled in the anchor, "but be careful out there. You still don't know about the dangers of the Grand Line. Nothing at all."

Luffy predictably answered, "that's ok! We can just beat it up!"

"Excellent strategy," Perona drawled. "Let's beat up the erratic weather too, while we're at it. Oh, and all the sea kings that we meet. And every shichibukai that we ever encounter…"

"Hey, that sounds like fun!"

Perona wasn't even surprised that her sarcasm bounced right off their energetic captain. She was starting to get more used to his absolute insanity.

"See you later, Laboon!" Luffy called out as the giant whale from before popped out of the water. He had a splotch of white and yellow paint splattered all over its front. Perona stared, wondering if that had been there before. It vaguely resembled some sort of shape but…

"Bye, old man! Bye, Laboon! We'll see each other again, when we come back after conquering the Grand Line!"

Perona swung her boots idly, leaning sideways to support her weight on the mast that she had perched on. "Do you even know what it means to conquer the Grand Line?"

"It means I'm going to be the King of the Pirates!" came the unhesitating reply.

Perona sniffed disdainfully. "And you're going to do that…in that outfit?"

Luffy looked down at his red vest and jeans, then back up with a cheerful smile. "Yup!"

The others had begun rigging the sails and lashing down spare cargo, with Nami directing their actions. Perona heard her name being hailed, and she turned to give a hand with the main mast's higher ropes, jumping through the riggings and reaching the top without using her abilities. Of course, flying came as second nature to her these days. But they had "guests" on board, and she never showed off all her cards at once if she could help it.

She took a moment to look down at the deck below, where the self-proclaimed Mr. 8 and Ms. Wednesday were watching the crew prepare the ship for departure.

That's when she noticed it.

Unforgivable.

She tightened some knots and loosened others, and shouted down at Luffy and the others, "as soon as we reach the next island, I'm buying a sewing machine! Can you believe that these strangers have more of my handmade products on them then you lot? Do you have any intention of appreciating my wonderful, amazing, beautiful, marvelous creations? I refuse to simply repair your ugly clothes forever. If I'm going to be on your crew, then the world had better see that you are the most fashionably dressed pirate crew to ever sail the seas!"

A chorus of agreements met her ears. They sounded entirely insincere, and suspiciously rehearsed. She realized that this was not the first time she had begun a rant on their outfits, and that they had more or less started to tune her out. Much like how Usopp got tuned out whenever he started spouting nonsense lies. As proof, none of them had looked up at her when they made their noises of agreement. Only Sanji, who launched into his own speech of what an honor it would be to wear something created by the dainty, lovely hands of Perona-chan.

"At least one person on board as some taste," she sniffed, smirking down at Sanji in a rare approving smile. The man dissolved in hearts straight away. It took some irritated commands from Nami to get him back on track with the ropes in his hands.

In the meantime, everyone else had gone back to work.

Perona seethed just a little bit. What she was promising them was not nonsense, it was a once-in-a-lifetime offer from the trendiest upcoming fashion designer of the seas! This pirate crew was running around the Grand Line with no idea what it meant to make a presentable entrance to the world's most dangerous ocean. She granted that Nami did a little better – she had put on one of Perona's baby pink tees after she got soaked in whale stomach fluids – but the rest looked simply atrocious. Simply disgraceful – the fact that she spotted more of her flare on the "guests" aboard their ship than the actual crewmates of a designer of her talents.

She would show them. Come the next island, even if she had to extort the villagers for their best available cloths and sewing machines.