Warnings: Dark themes, lots of mentions of death, strong language, human experimentation, experimenting on children, child abduction, graphic descriptions of experimenting, lots of needles, lots of violence, poor descriptions of panic attacks, descriptions of blood, rated M for safety.
*If I need to add anymore warnings please tell me in the reviews or a PM and I'll be sure to add it!*
Chapter 70: The First Session
"Ready to cast off!" Ace, Sabo, and Luffy watched as the Moby left the island they'd been at, smiling at the memory of all the fun they'd had at the festival the day before.
Today, however, they had to do something they didn't really want to do, but knew it would be best if they did.
Honestly, Sabo was beginning to notice a pattern- one he wasn't liking- because every time the brothers have an even remotely good day, it's always followed by a pretty shitty one. Hopefully, that wouldn't be the case, and all that would happen would be that the brothers would be uncomfortable seeing as they had to talk to Whiskey.
The only saving grace from all of this was that they would be talking out on deck which was a lot nicer of a thought then talking to her in her office.
Speaking of.
"Whiskeys on her way," Sabo said with a hint of a sigh, trying to calm himself, knowing it wouldn't help if Luffy was feeling not only his own panic but his brothers' as well.
"Do we have to do this?" Ace muttered, training his eyes on the water lapping against the side of the ocean.
"No, we don't have to, but we should. We all agreed this could help us a lot. You don't need to do it Ace, you either Luffy, but it could help." Sabo said, reiterating to them that they had the freedom to do whatever they wanted. Whiskey had said so herself, and Sabo was immensely grateful they now had the freedom to choose.
"Hello you three, are you ready?" Whiskey asked, smiling gently to them, her posture relaxed, trying to look as peaceful as possible. If it were anyone else, the brothers would be fine, but just because she was a nurse, she was intimidating.
"As ready as we'll ever be," Sabo said with his best smile. She nodded knowingly.
"Pops permitted us to use the upper deck and promised to keep anyone from interrupting unless absolutely necessary. He even has Marco and Haruta doing watch right now to make sure some of the more nosy members don't listen in. No one but Pops knows about what we're talking about, just that they're not allowed to listen in, and as I said before, Pops won't know anything that we talk about during these sessions either, he only knows that I'm helping you three." Whiskey explained, gesturing to the upper deck. The brothers nodded, feeling a bit more comfortable after hearing that. They trusted Marco and were beginning to trust the rest of the commanders, namely Haruta, so they were relieved to hear they would be helping them out as well, even if they didn't completely know what they were doing.
The group of four headed to the upper deck, reaching it quickly before settling down. Whiskey had a notebook and pencil in preparation, reading over something before nodding to herself and looking up.
"To begin, as I said before, I'll have private talks with each of you to figure out the best way to help you. I know you don't like the idea of being alone with me in a group, much less one-on-one, but it would be beneficial to do this individually rather than all together. The other two can sit on the steps right there, within viewing distance, but I'd rather you not listen in if you can help it." Whiskey explained slowly. The brothers had expected this, Sabo mentioned it might be the case, and they talked about what they would do.
They had eventually decided- after a long debate- that they would have a safe word. If Whiskey started doing anything they couldn't handle, they just had to say the safe word- Kangaroo- and the other two brothers would come and end the session, simple as that. Hearing that they could sit close-by made it easier for them, and they all nodded along to the condition.
Whiskey smiled, having expected more of a fight about the suggestion, but was pleasantly surprised that hadn't been the case.
"In that case, does anyone want to go first?" She asked, watching as the brothers shifted, taking note of their every movement and expression, every reaction they had to her words and suggestions. If she wanted to take on the task of helping the brothers get better she had to know more about them, more about what set them off, more about how they reacted to certain situations, and to do that she had to be as observant as possible.
"I believe I'm going first," Sabo said, shifting a bit, sitting up straighter.
"Sounds good. Who's going next after Sabo?" Whiskey asked so she knew which one to call after she was done talking to Sabo.
"Me." Ace muttered.
"And that means Luffy last then. If you don't mind, Ace, Luffy, could you go sit over there? I'll call you over when we're done." Whiskey said after taking note of the order. The two nodded a bit hesitantly, but got up and left without any argument. Whiskey and Sabo watched as they walked to the step, sitting on the second one from the top, before beginning to talk amongst themselves.
"Starting is always the hardest, but remember, at any time you can ask me any questions you might have." Whiskey said as she turned to a new sheet of paper in her notebook, Sabo watching her carefully and nodding.
"I know that everything you three went through was traumatizing, but I don't know to what extent seeing as I haven't heard anything about your past. I'm not asking you to tell me everything all at once, but it would help if I did know more. However, why don't we start somewhere a bit easier? What's something you want to be able to get out of this? Something you have difficulty doing now that you want to get better at?" Whiskey asked, leaving Sabo to think for a moment.
"I think... I think I want to be able to do a few things. Maybe have fewer nightmares, or even be able to walk by new people without being so... scared." Sabo said, shifting a bit. It always was uncomfortable for him to share his feelings with those he wasn't close with. Ace and Luffy were always the two he could talk to about anything, and it was weird letting in more people.
"Do you have nightmares often?" The nurse asked, writing as she spoke. Sabo merely nodded in response.
"How often? Every week? Every few days? Every other night?" Sabo shifts again, reminding himself that this was something he had to talk about if he wanted help.
"Most nights. Sometimes every other night." He answered, gaze shifting to the deck inbetween him and the nurse.
"And how far apart would you be ok with the nightmares being? Would you want them to be gone completely or would it be fine for you if they only happened a few times a month?" Whiskey continued questioning.
"It'd be nice if they stopped completely, but I don't know how realistic that is so I'm fine with just a few times a week if anything." The blonde replied truthfully. It was exhausting to have nightmares every night, so if he could even have a day or two break inbetween, that would be all he would need.
"What about what you said earlier? Walking around strangers? How do you normally feel when confronted with someone you don't know?" Whiskey asked, flipping a page in her notebook.
"Cautious, nervous... scared," Sabo said, swallowing.
"And you want to meet someone new without feeling any of that?" Whiskey asked, Sabo, nodding in answer.
"Well, that should be all for now. This was only the first session so it may not have been as in-depth as the next few could be, but its a good start. It helped you set some goals for the end result and it let me know what we should start working on. If you want to keep doing this then I suggest we have another one of these sessions later in the week." Whiskey informed, Sabo, nodding along, showing he understood. Honestly, he was kind of surprised that it was over so soon and that everything he had feared would happen hadn't. Not once did Whiskey do or ask him to say anything that he wasn't ok with, and he was a bit amazed that a nurse of all people hadn't tried dragging anything out of him against his will.
Right, he had to change that way of thinking, because not all nurses were bad.
"Thank you Whiskey. I'll see you next time then." He said, brushing his pants off as he stood. Whiskey smiled to him, saying her own farewell before calling Ace over. The eldest's head turned, a scowl forming on his face instinctually before quickly disappearing as he stood up. He ruffled Luffy's hair and grumbled something that the nurse couldn't hear but had Sabo rolling his eyes. Sabo smiled at his brother's stubbornness but decided that was probably how he was coping with all the new things happening around him.
Ace was obviously reluctant as he walked over to the nurse and sat down in front of her. She didn't seem to take offense to it though and continued to smile at him, which he didn't know if he liked or not.
He didn't know what she and Sabo had talked about, but the blonde hadn't abandoned the session, and he didn't look too shaken up afterward, so it couldn't have been all that bad. Despite these thoughts though, Ace still found it difficult to be sitting and talking to a nurse of all people. Willingly.
"Hello, Ace. I appreciate that you decided to talk with me. I know how hard this must be for you." She said, turning pages in her notebook. Ace shrugged, shifting nervously.
"S'not that bad I guess." He said but knew his own words were a lie. For him, this was borderline torture. He had agreed to try and get help from the nurse though so he would stick it out for at least the first session.
"Still, something like this is hard for most people to do without the right encouragement. People who need help normally don't get it until its too late." Whiskey said. Ace didn't quite know how to respond to that and opted for silence, deciding the nurse would probably continue the conversation.
"We'll start the same way I did with Sabo, and remember, you can ask questions at any time so feel free to interrupt me if you have to." Whiskey reiterated for Ace who nodded.
"Good. Now, what's something you'd like to get out of these sessions? The trauma you've had to face has no doubt changed your personality, or maybe even your thinking. What's something you want to be able to do later that you cant do now?" Whiskey asked. Ace thought for a moment, looking towards his hands that were holding onto his ankles as he sat criss-cross on the deck.
"I don't know... be able to... you know... control my emotions better. It used to be worse, but whenever I don't know how to handle my emotions I just... get angry about it and explode, and that's not good around Luffy cause then he gets angry too and I don't want that to happen. And I don't like the nightmares either." Ace admitted, trying to force away the flush from admitting to someone the things that he had issues with.
It was true though, he'd never been all that good at expressing his feelings and it normally made him angry as a result. Not to mention, having nightmares every night was a pain in the ass.
"That's a good goal Ace. Having difficulty expressing yourself is alright, it happens to the best of us. Honestly, I have issues with it myself at times, so I understand wanting to get more control over it." The head nurse said, still smiling gently. Her words made Ace look up, a bit of skepticism in his eyes at her words, but mostly believing them to be true. She didn't look like she was lying just to make him feel better, but he wouldn't know for sure unless Luffy got a read on her feelings and told him.
"What emotions do you have the most difficult time with?" Whiskey asked, continuing the questioning, snapping Ace out of his thoughts.
"Uh... I used to be really bad with people showing me any kind of affection. I used to be mean because I didn't really know how to respond, and if I get flustered or too confused I just get angry instead." Ace explained, watching Whiskeys pencil glide along her notebook as a way to focus on something that wasn't the nurse herself.
"And the nightmares? Do you want them gone completely, or would you be happy with having them every once in a while?" Whiskey asked.
"It doesn't really matter to me, as long as its not every damn night," Ace said, a bit of anger slipping into his tone at the thought of how annoying and terrifying the nightmares were for him. Not to mention exhausting.
"Understandable." Whiskey said before giving Ace the same closing she'd given Sabo, telling the eldest that this was only the first session which was meant more for him to set goals rather than get into anything too heavy right away. He nodded along with her words, taking them all in, slowly relaxing as he realized they were already done. He hadn't even realized before that Sabo's session had been so quick, too nervous about his own to notice, but now that he was done with his own he realized that it had only been about ten minutes long.
"Are all sessions gonna be this short?" Ace asked curiously.
"No, as I said, this was only the first session. Normally they'll be about thirty minutes to an hour seeing as we'll have much more to talk about." She said. Ace nodded understandingly.
"Well, it was nice speaking with you Ace. I hope you'll continue these sessions." Whiskey said as a means of a farewell. Ace said his own goodbye as he stood, mind still reeling at the fact that this session had been a lot easier then he had expected. Sure, they hadn't even talked about much yet, but he was relieved that Whiskey didn't seem to be expecting him to talk about anything he wasn't ready to talk about yet.
As he had these thoughts he heard Whiskey calling over Luffy for his own session and began subconsciously sending the youngest bursts of warmth, knowing he was just as nervous, if not more, as he had been. Luffy stood a bit slowly from the step, Sabo patting his back reassuringly and telling him something quietly, to which Luffy nodded. Ace and Luffy passed each other, and Ace clapped Luffys shoulder, telling him it'd be alright before going to join Sabo on the step.
Luffy didn't know how to feel about this at all. On one hand, he was extremely nervous about having to talk to the nurse, someone he still couldn't figure out whether they were a good person or not, and on the other, he felt that this would go just fine because Ace and Sabo seemed to be alright. Their nervousness had even gone away and they felt better after talking to her.
As much as he wanted that to help though, it didn't, and his stomach flipped back and forth uncomfortably at the thought of talking to the nurse. Even as he sat right in front of her, even as he felt the warmth radiating from Ace and Sabo, even as he felt nothing but calm, peaceful feelings coming from Whiskey, he couldn't bring himself to stop feeling that horrible nervous anxiety.
"Hello, Luffy." Whiskey said simply, having a feeling Luffy needed a minute to calm himself. He was fidgeting worse then Ace and Sabo had combined.
"Hi," Luffy replied hesitantly, voice quiet and timid. He tried letting other people's happiness and warmth influence him, but of course, when he wanted it to it didn't do anything.
"I'm happy you decided that we could have this talk." Whiskey continued on gently, not wanting to scare off the youngest of the trio anymore than she already was. Luffy continued shifting and fidgeting, not looking up from the deck that he had been staring at the entire time.
"Wanted help," Luffy said shortly. Any signs of his happy demeanor that had been showing through lately were completely gone, showing only the scared timid boy that he had been ever since the facility.
"And I intend to give you that help. I know its hard, and maybe even a little scary to talk to me. I understand, so don't worry I don't mind." Whiskey said, and Luffy looked up just enough to see her give him a playful wink, a smile still on her face and only happy, calm feelings coming from her. It eased him, but only slightly.
"You don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to. Anything I ask is only meant for me to help you better in the long run, but if you don't like something that I ask, you can just tell me pass and I won't ask about it again unless you bring it up. Sound good?" Whiskey asked. Luffy thought about it, wondering if all good nurses were like this. He still didn't have much experience with good nurses, only Whiskey, and she always made sure the brothers knew what she was doing before she did it. She gave them freedom, and it contradicted everything Luffy had grown up seeing nurses and doctors do.
"Mhm." Luffy hummed in agreement, calming down further at the freedom of choice.
"If you have any questions at all, you can ask them. I'll answer all of them to the best of my abilities." Whiskey continued explaining. By now, Luffy's fidgeting had died down completely to the point that he was only shuffling around every few minutes rather than constantly.
"Ok," Luffy said, continuing to keep his responses short and quiet. Even though he was slightly more comfortable around Whiskey now compared to when he first met her, it was still hard for him to let go of that fear that clung to him, telling him nurses and doctors were bad, horrible people that didn't care about you, your feelings, or whether you were in pain or not.
"I'll start off easy, just a simple yes or no. After everything you've gone through, would you say you've changed compared to how you used to be before everything with the facility happened? Maybe you act different, or think differently then you used to?" Whiskey asked, her tone becoming even softer and gentler than before at the sensitive topic. Luffy flinched at the mention of the facility but nodded. He knew he had changed, it was obvious he had, and it made him hate the facility even more for being able to have that effect on him. He just wanted to be the way he used to be, but that seemed like an impossibility now after everything he'd been through.
"Yeah..." Luffy said, earning a nod from Whiskey as she started writing more notes down.
"And do you like the changes?" Whiskey asked, making Luffy frown a bit.
"No." He said firmly, the answer coming easy to him.
"What's something you'd want to change?" The nurse asked, making him think. He'd never really thought about anything specific before, he just knew he wanted to change, wanted to go back to normal.
"I wanna stop being scared... and I wanna stop having nightmares... I don't like being scared all the time." Luffy said, his voice small and timid again, practically shrinking in on himself as he looked at the deck again rather than the nurse.
"Is there anything in particular that makes you scared? I know you don't like nurses, but is that it or are there other things you're scared of?" Whiskey asked, and Luffy thought about whether he wanted to answer the heavy question.
"I-I... I get scared of strangers, and people with bad feelings and I'm scared of being alone." Luffy said, listing the things he knew he was scared of.
"And your nightmares, do you have them often?" Whiskey asked, having a feeling she knew the answer already after having spoken to Ace and Sabo.
"Mm." Luffy hummed, nodding instead of speaking.
"How often? Every day?" She asked, trying to make it easier on the clearly terrified and nervous teen.
"Mm." He hummed again, still not looking up from the deck.
"How often would you rather have them?" She asked, and it took Luffy a minute to register the question.
"I-I don't know... Not every day." Luffy said with a shrug, not really minding as long as they didn't wake him and his brothers up every night. He always felt guilty when he woke Sabo up, knowing his brother was probably more exhausted then he was.
It was quiet a moment while Whiskey continued writing something, but eventually, she stopped, putting the notebook down and smiling to Luffy.
"Well, I think that's all for now." She said, surprising Luffy, expecting something else to happen, expecting to have not liked the talk with the nurse, but he found that it hadn't been all that bad.
"Really?" He asked a bit hesitantly, trying to remind himself that Whiskey herself had said that he could ask questions if he wanted to.
"That's right. This was only the first session, so we're still getting to know each other. If you want to continue these sessions we'll probably talk longer then we did today." She said, standing and stretching. Luffy stood with her, glancing over to his brothers who's backs were to him as they watched everyone on the lower deck.
"Why don't we go tell them you're done, hm?" She asked good-naturedly, and Luffy dared to give her a bit of a smile, nodding before they began walking over to the two.
"Oh, you done Lu?" Ace asked, Luffy noticing that Sabo had tapped that he heard them coming.
"Mhm!" Luffy hummed with a bigger smile than before, happy to be back near his brothers.
"It wasn't too bad, was it?" Sabo asked, ruffling his little brother's hair, his usual straw hat resting against his back thanks to the string around his neck.
"Nope!" Luffy said, easily finding his way inbetween his brothers as usual while they all turned to look at Whiskey.
"In that case, we're all done for today. As I told you all earlier, this session was shorter due to it being the first one. If you three decide you want to continue this, we can. The sessions would probably be around thirty minutes to an hour each, and we'll have them twice a week if possible." The nurse explained, notebook and pencil held close to her side.
"Thank you again Whiskey, we appreciate this," Sabo said, to which the nurse waved it off.
"Believe me, I just want to help in any way I can. If you find you do want to continue just come by and tell me and I can tell you when our next session can be. It was nice talking to you." She said, waving to them as she began walking off. The brothers waved back until they couldn't see her anymore before collectively sighing.
"That sure was an experience." Ace said, rolling his shoulders to get rid of any lasting tension.
"You can say that again," Sabo said, thinking back to his own conversation with the nurse. Even though he easily could have, he hadn't listened in on Luffy and Aces conversations, blocking them out the best he could by focusing more on the loud boisterous pirates of the crew they had decided to join.
"You guys done?" Haruta asked, walking up to them. Above them, there was a flash of blue, and they watched as Marco turned from a flaming bird into a human, landing softly beside the commander.
"We are. Thank you for helping us out." Sabo said, still amazed by the fruit Marco had. He only knew he had one and what kind it was because he'd heard Luffy ramble on about the blue flames he'd used when he helped rescue them. The similarities between the commanders' flames and his brothers' made Luffy curious about what fruit he had and had asked once during dinner, to which Marco explained he had a mythical zone fruit, the Phoenix.
"It was no problem, yoi. We didn't mind helping out." Marco said smoothly, voice as calm and even as ever, his bored look ever-present on his face.
"Yeah, trust me, watching for eavesdroppers was way better than hearing Thatch moan about how he couldn't enjoy the festival yesterday because he was busy," Haruta said with an eye roll. Sabo smiled, hearing the man himself whining in the kitchen to one of the other cooks. It had actually been the thing he'd used to distract himself from Ace and Luffy's talks the most.
"I know, I've been listening ever since I finished my talk. He's still going on about it." Sabo said, laughing lightly at Haruta's over-dramatic groan.
"No! Marco, give me something else to do! Tell me I have to go do some important work! Please!" Haruta practically begged, this time making the first commander roll his eyes.
"You don't need me to tell you about all that paperwork you haven't done, yoi," Marco said, making the other commander perk up in glee.
"Yes, you're right! Thanks, Marco, see you guys around!" Haruta said before spinning on his heels and nearly running towards his room, ignoring the strange looks he got for it.
"I feel like this is a reoccurring thing." Ace said with a raised eyebrow, watching the commander run. He laughed as he saw him nearly fall after he tripped over his feet.
"Sadly, nearly everyone on this ship can be a bit over-dramatic at times," Marco said, shaking his head and crossing his arms.
"Surely you don't mean me as well my dear brother," Izo said as he walked up to the group, a smile on his face, though his eyes screamed that he was ready to attack Marco for his comment.
"Of course not Izo, yoi," Marco said, not turning to look at his ship brother, smiling to the brothers who smiled back. This made Izo frown and huff, but he didn't seem to take too much offense to the words, instead turning his attention to the brothers.
"So you're done talking to Whiskey?" He asked, all of them nodding.
"Yup! Whiskey wasn't mean to me at all either, she was really nice!" Luffy chirped happily, pleased with how his talk had gone, even if he had felt pretty scared and nervous throughout the whole thing.
"Well, that's good. I wouldn't expect anything less of one of our best nurses." Izo said pleasantly, smiling to Luffy who continued beaming back. Beside him, Sabo's eyes drifted towards the galley door, a hint of a smile ghosting upon his face.
"I think you may want to go hide Izo, Thatch is coming to find you so he can complain about his lack of adventure on the island yesterday," Sabo said, hearing the man tell the poor chef he'd been complaining to just that, his footsteps heading straight to the door.
"Of course he is. Well, it was nice speaking to you three." Izo said with a wave to them, and Marco didn't miss that he completely ignored him, probably still a bit angry about his earlier comment. That was fine, he would get over it before lunch like he always did.
"We better go too, I'd rather not listen to even more of his complaining if I can help it," Sabo said to Marco who nodded in agreement.
"I'm taking everyone else's lead and locking myself in my room," Marco said, the four of them all beginning a fast-paced walk to their rooms. They said their goodbyes in the hall, all slipping silently into their rooms. Sabo didn't miss the sounds of Thatch leaving the galley, wreaking havoc to those on deck as he searched for anyone to listen to his woes.
Sabo couldn't help but laugh when he heard him complain that he couldn't find anyone.
Chapter 70 is here! It doesn't have much happening, but it does have the brothers getting some much needed help from Whiskey, as well as a little bit of bonding with some of the commanders.
The brothers took a big step in talking to Whiskey, even if they didn't do much talking yet. Just starting is always hard. As Whiskey said, that isn't how all their sessions will be, but the first one was more of a goal setting session than anything. Other sessions would be more typical of what you would expect when going to therapy.
Oh, and in case you were worried, no, we didn't see the aftermath of a certain Marines discoveries this time, but rest assured, the next chapter will go into more detail about that.
In other news, I was thinking of updating this story two times a week on Mondays and Fridays. Mondays will be more of a, 'If I can, I will' sort of thing so I may not always update on Mondays, but I will still continue to update on every Friday instead of every Thursday. You'll always get at least one chapter on Fridays, but I wanted to give you all a little extra if I can on Mondays too in the spirit of being so near to 1000 reviews.
I think I'll be starting this new update schedule this week, so expect a new chapter Monday!
As always, thank you all for your support on this story. Its all thanks to you guys that I continuously find the motivation to write more of this story. See you all- possibly- on Monday with the next chapter!