The next morning I woke up, not having slept very well. After tossing and turning I decided to get up and work on my Herbology homework before breakfast. I silently thanked Dobby once I was downstairs for lighting the fire. I curled up with a blanket and took my textbook out to read about the correct process for collecting Hungarian Hemlock which grew in dark forests. The plant tended to emit a luminescent shine which would draw lost travellers in before emitting a toxic perfume. Their perfume was meant to render the traveller unconscious before the hemlock would quickly expand itself around the human body and leech out all its energy. There are reported instances of travellers returning days later looking decades older because of the parasitic qualities of the plant.
"Hare?" Fred asked, bringing me to look at him over my Herbology book.
I was surprised to hear him talking to me after how he left things last night.
"Yes Fred?" I replied, worried about what he was going to say and bracing myself for the worst case scenario.
"Will you go on a date with me?" he asked rather directly.
My eyes quickly widened as I stared at him in shock.
"What?" I replied, thinking I must have heard him wrong.
"A date. Do you want to go on a date with me?" he repeated with the same amount of surety.
"Umm…." Was all I could muster out of my whirling mind.
But this only made Fred smile. "Tomorrow night, I'll meet you in the common room."
Then, he got up and retreated over to where George and Lee looked like they were waiting for him to go down to breakfast.
"Marnie?" I heard my name being called again.
I hesitantly turned away from watching Fred exit the common room to see all three of the girls staring at me intently.
"Did Fred Weasley just ask you on a date?" Angelina asked, knowing she was the one who had gotten my attention in the first place.
"I—think so," I replied uneasily, feeling my stomach filling with knots.
"Wow Katie, your tactlessness might have worked after all," Alicia beamed as all three of them came up to me and pulled me unceremoniously off the couch.
The blanket I had wrapped myself up in fell to the floor along with my textbook. I had to quickly collect my things as the girls stood there impatiently, wanting to follow Fred to analyse his behaviour.
"I can't believe he finally worked up the nerve," Katie said, seeming pleased with this turn of events.
"His delivery could have been better, but who's complaining after he waited this long!" Angelina added sounding awfully giddy compared to her tense manner over the past few months because of quidditch. "Wait, did you actually say yes to him?"
"I didn't give him an answer at all," I admitted, slowly realising the situation that was unfolding.
"Are—are you going to show up tomorrow?" Alicia asked, sounding more nervous now.
"Well, I guess the least I can do is hear him out," I replied, feeling even more uneasy than I was letting on.
"That's all we can ask for," Katie exclaimed excitedly.
"Why are you all so excited about this?" I asked, feeling their enthusiasm was putting even more pressure on the situation.
"Marnie, you're two of our best mates, and really… we've been waiting for this for a long time," Angelina admitted with a wide grin.
We were making our way towards the Great Hall for breakfast and I realised as we entered that I had lost all of my appetite.
"Just, try not to make such a big deal over it," I pleaded as Fred and the others came into view.
"Alright Marn," Angelina agreed, looking at me with more concern.
The truth was that I didn't know how I felt about Fred and certainly didn't want our group's friendship hanging in the balance. Fred's proposal this morning completely caught me off guard since I had been scared he was angry with me. Instead, he went for a completely alternative approach and I was left feeling overwhelmed. I didn't want to outright reject him since I felt things wouldn't go back to normal if I did. Plus, I was the one who started all of this yesterday when I brought it up. What had I really wanted out of that conversation anyways? George smiled down the table at me as I sat farthest away from Fred as I could. I offered my own meek smile before grabbing onto a discarded newspaper and burying my head behind it.
"Good morning everyone!" Professor Sprout announced as she entered the greenhouse.
"Good morning Professor," everyone in our NEWT class recited back.
"Hem hem," a familiar voice sounded from the back of the classroom and I tensed my shoulders at the sound.
"Class, it seems Professor Umbridge will be joining our class today. Please do not let her presence hamper your attention since today's lesson requires your utmost care," Professor Sprout explained.
I smiled that Professor Sprout didn't seem phased by Umbridge's appearance and wasn't making any exceptions for her evaluation.
"Are we finally working with the Hungarian Hemlock today?" a Ravenclaw student named Roger Davies asked.
"Right you are Davies! Now, everyone must put on their gloves and masks and be sure they're on tight. You do not want to feel the effects of the hemlock's perfume," Professor Sprout instructed before we all walked over to the shelves and grabbed our equipment.
Once I arrived back at my workstation I saw that Professor Sprout was handing Umbridge a set as well but Umbridge didn't seem too keen on putting the well-worn mask over her face.
"Alright, so each will open the container in front of you and will see a single hemlock plant inside. Wait until it glows before clipping off the leaves and putting it in your mortar to crush into a powder," Professor Sprout instructed.
Right away everyone eagerly opened their containers since we had been studying this plant for weeks without seeing it yet.
"Professor, is it really suitable for students to be performing such a dangerous task? Some hospitals don't even conduct this practice since it has the potential to go fatally wrong," I heard Umbridge say from behind her mask as she approached Sprout.
"Professor Umbridge, I must say I have trained all of these students since their first year and I am confident they are ready. The properties in these leaves have various important uses which is why I have so properly trained each and everyone in this class," Professor Sprout answered confidently before she moved away to start watching as each of us clipped back the glowing leaves.
"You will only need one or two leaves in your mortar or you risk making the powder too potent!" Professor Sprout warned us as she went around.
I already had two leaves in my mortar so I carefully sealed the container back up before grabbing onto my pestle to crush the leaves.
"Very good O'Hara make sure the leaves are evenly crushed until it's a fine powder. The leaves should lose all of their glowing properties so that's when you'll know it's done," I nodded at the professor before she moved on.
However, someone else was soon leaning over my shoulder to observe my work. I turned to see who it was only to realise that Umbridge was surveying each student's mortar and taking notes.
"Can I help you with something Professor?" I asked shortly, feeling on edge that she had been that close to me.
"Does Professor Sprout often have you performing such dangerous tasks?' she asked with a small smile that I found extremely irritating.
"We are in seventh year Professor, we have worked this far and gained an OWL to be able to work with more difficult herbs," I replied through gritted teeth.
"Hmm," was all she replied as she scratched her quill against her clipboard, taking extra notes.
"Professor Sprout is knowledgeable about real threats in the magical world and prepares us for them," I replied, feeling my irritation with her increasing.
"I think a snide remark like that calls for another detention Miss. O'Hara. I will see you tomorrow night," Umbridge said with a smile like she was offering me a candy.
"Tomorrow night, why not this evening?" I asked, remembering my promise to Fred.
"If you didn't want to cut into your social life then you should learn to hold your tongue. I have prior responsibilities to address tonight so I will see you tomorrow at 5pm in my office," she replied with an even bigger smile across her face.
I turned back to my mortar and started aggressively crushing the leaves with my pestle until I was absolutely sure there was no glowing residue.
"So erm—Fred?" I said that night at dinner.
"What's up Hare?" Fred smiled back at me with a dimpled grin.
"So, I have to rain check on tomorrow night. I sort of got a detention…" I explained, hoping he didn't think I had purposely gotten one to get out of our date.
"Merlin, and here I've been so well behaved today to make sure I wouldn't get my own detention. Well then, you leave me no choice. We'll have our date tonight," he continued smiling.
"Wh-what?" I stuttered, feeling my chest clench with anxiety. "Right now?"
"Yup!" he replied easily.
Before I could form my own opinion about what Fred was deciding for me he stood up and led me out of the Great Hall. I remained in overwhelmed silence all the way down to the kitchens.
"Oi, Posy!" Fred called out when we entered through the fruit portrait.
"Master Wheezy! Ooh Miss. Marnee!" Posy squealed as she came bustling over.
"Change of plans Posy, it's happening tonight. Is that alright?" he asked, giving Posy a grin to which she eagerly returned.
"Of course Mr. Wheezy! Posy will have your basket in a few minutes!" Posy giggled before running back into the kitchen.
"Our basket?" I asked, realising Fred must have had something all planned out.
"Just wait, why don't we have a seat in the meantime?" he asked before leading me over to our usual table in the corner.
"So, how was your day?" Fred asked casually once we had sat down.
"My day?" I asked, being caught off guard by his level of politeness.
"Yes, tell me about your day Hare," Fred replied with an easy grin.
"Well…" I started feeling excited that I could freely talk about Herbology when the rest of my friends were never that interested in hearing about it. "I crushed some Hungarian Hemlock, which is a really deadly plant! It's used for medicinal purposes to administer to people whose hearts are failing. It increases a person's heart rate among other healing properties. Professor Sprout was pleased with how I crushed the leaves on my first attempt," I smiled proudly.
"That's really great Hare, you always light up whenever you talk about Herbology, not that I can ever figure out why," Fred smiled.
I stuck my tongue out at him, feeling like always whenever we were just hanging out.
"So, how did you get a detention?" Fred inquired with a smirk.
"Erm—I mouthed off to Umbridge. She was evaluating Professor Sprout today," I confessed, feeling my annoyance for our Defense teacher resurfacing.
"Hare! She's the last person you should be getting a detention from!" Fred chastised. "But, I guess she is a foul old hag, so I can't really fault you for that one."
I smiled back at Fred just as Posy came towards us carrying a whicker picnic basket.
"Thanks a lot Posy!" Fred exclaimed.
"Anything for Mr. Wheezy! Posy hopes Miss. Maree enjoys her date!" Posy sang out excitedly.
"I'm sure she will," Fred smirked, watching as my face turned bright scarlet.
Ignoring my second bout of overwhelmed confusion, Fred took my hand and led me to the second destination he had planned out. I figured out where we were obviously going once we arrived at the staircase for the Astronomy Tower. My mouth felt dry as we ascended the stairs so I couldn't create any audible words to break the growing silence between us.
Fred headed for our usual spot overlooking the grounds before he sat down and started unpacking the basket that Posy had prepared.
"Well, sit down why don't you?" Fred said, turning his head to see that I was still awkwardly standing at the top of the staircase.
I nodded before slowly moving to go over and join him.
"Butter beer?" Fred asked, passing me a bottle from the depths of the basket.
My eyebrows raised like a question but Fred just laughed.
"I stowed a couple of them away last time George and I brought some crates over from Hogsmeade," Fred replied with a grin.
"How long have you been planning all this?" I asked sceptically, finally taking my seat on the other side of the basket.
Fred's cheeks started to turn pink, the first time this evening he was looking nervous whereas I'd been a nervous wreck ever since this morning.
"Well, I've sort of been thinking about asking you out since the start of school," Fred replied sounding rather embarrassed now.
"You've wanted to ask me on a date for that long?" I asked incredulously.
"Hare, you know it's been a lot longer than that," he replied more evenly.
My cheeks burned brighter than his appeared but he shrugged and smiled back at me.
"I don't want to make this anymore uncomfortable for you than it already is, so let's just enjoy ourselves like always," he said smiling, reminding me who I was sitting up here with and how we had done it hundreds of times in the last seven years.
"Alright, so what's in the basket?" I asked, peering in to see an array of pastries, including carrot cake.
"There isn't any real food in here!" I exclaimed, having expected dinner.
"I asked Posy for all the best dishes Hogwarts had to offer. Posy and I agreed that consisted of all desserts," Fred grinned.
I couldn't help laughing before greedily grabbing onto the dish of carrot cake and heartily digging into it with a fork.
"Jeez, if I knew I could get you to eat like that I would have been feeding you carrot cake this entire time!" Fred exclaimed, watching me devour my favourite dessert.
"Well, now you know it's my one weakness," I grinned back.
Fred smiled before picking up some apple pie from the basket. We then turned to look out at the view and I eventually started to enjoy the evening. After I easily finished my dessert I grabbed my bottle of butter beer and sipped it while we continued to sit in an easy silence. I had to admit that I was no feeling nervous and couldn't figure out why it felt so easy to be here with Fred.
"Fred, can I ask you a more serious question?" I asked, setting down my butter beer to turn my attention towards him.
"Alright, but you only get one," he replied cheekily, reminding me of when it had been us and George up here asking questions and telling secrets to get to know each other.
"Of course, I only have one anyway. So, what's different about today than any other time we hang out up here?" I asked nervously.
Admittedly, sitting up here with Fred didn't feel any different than all the other times we had hung out like this over the years.
"I guess there isn't. But, I am still considering it a date," he replied.
I concentrated on his face, trying to decipher how he was being so calm whereas I felt very unsure about the whole thing.
"Listen Hare, I didn't want to make a big deal about it since I know you aren't considering having another boyfriend. I told you that I wanted to be there for you, but I didn't want to let my chances go by without asking you out. I'm not going to force this to be romantic for you because the last thing I want to do is make you uncomfortable. But, I have to admit finally that I've spent a lot of wasted time wanting to ask you out only for me to royally mess it up. I know this isn't the best time, but I think I'm running out of all my chances," Fred explained, showing the true unease he was feeling about the situation.
"I don't know how to reply to that just yet…" I replied, feeling his words whirl around in my already overcrowded mind.
Fred smiled back. "That's alright Hare, I'm choosing the worst possible time. I promise I won't act like a complete git, even if you turn me down. And I'll give you all the time you need to figure out what you want, but just know that I've given this considerable thought and if you agree to go out with me that I'll take it completely seriously. It's utterly selfish of me to ask, but it's you Hare… it's always been you and so I had to ask, in case there's even a small chance," Fred let his words linger between us but I couldn't think of anything to say in return.
"I wondered though… if I could kiss you?" Fred finally broke the silence, sounding bashful for maybe the first time I could ever remember.
I knew my cheeks were a deep crimson colour but I nodded, agreeing that I might want to give this a chance even if my mind couldn't land on its immediate answer. He leaned in, gradually inching towards my face until we were only inches apart. Our eyes were locked, but my embarrassment forced them closed while I waited for Fred to close the distance. A moment later, I felt his lips dusting against mine before they pressed more firmly. His lips were softer than I expected and continued to press against mine with a sensation that I could only compare to fire. His breath tasted like mint with ash and gun powder It was familiar and new all at the same time and had me leaning forward for more as he pulled away.
"Hare… you're crying," Fred whispered, bringing his finger up to wipe a fresh tear away.
"I am?" I asked in a quiet voice, not aware that I had started crying.
Fred's lips turned up but it wasn't convincing enough to be a smile. "Why don't we call it a night?"
"Alright," I replied, losing my ability to talk again through my overwhelming thoughts.
"Can I walk you back to the common room before I head back down to the kitchens?" Fred asked but I shook my head.
"It's ok Fred, I truly had a really great time tonight, so I don't want you to worry. I'll meet you back at the common room in a bit," I said reassuringly.
Fred studied me before smiling and nodded. He must have seen that I was genuine and believed that I would be alright on my own. I then waved him off as he brought the basket back down the stairs and out of the Astronomy Tower. Once he was out of sight more tears formed and I couldn't shake the feeling of overwhelming guilt for even contemplating moving on from Cedric this soon. I decided I wanted to feel closer to Cedric to sort out my own feelings and take a guess at what he would want for me. Eventually I found the statue of Boris The Bewildered and gave it the password before it allowed me entrance.
I sat along the edge of the Prefect bathroom's swimming pool, dipping my feet into the tepid water. When I heard the statue moving, I already knew I would be caught so I didn't turn around. I only hoped it wasn't Malfoy because I didn't have the energy to tell that little brat off.
"Marnie? What are you doing in the Prefect lavatory?" I heard Hermione ask as she approached from behind me.
I figured Ron would have been the best-case scenario, but Hermione was better than explaining myself to any other Prefect.
"What does this earn me, a week's worth of detentions?" I asked, deferring her question.
She paused. I knew she stopped walking and was standing just behind me. I didn't know what she was considering, maybe what punishment seemed fair for me breaking into the luxury lavatory. But, surprisingly, she didn't say a word and moved to sit beside me. Even more surprising was that she proceeded to take off her shoes and rolled up her stockings to place her feet in beside me.
"Cedric brought you here last year?" Hermione asked, although it wasn't really a question.
I didn't say anything, not really trusting myself to speak. I had broken in here to get answers, but I knew I just wanted to feel closer to Cedric. I didn't want to feel guilty about liking Fred when I still loved Cedric. Wouldn't I have still been with Cedric if he was alive?
"You know, there are no books that make you an expert on love, but I don't think you should feel guilty about liking Fred," Hermione said gently but I turned to her like she had just screamed at me.
Her words shook me since I didn't realise how obvious I was being. I hadn't told anyone about going on a date with Fred aside from the girls eavesdropping this morning.
"Harry heard from Ron who heard from George that Fred finally asked you out. So, that means that Harry has been sulking and irritable but that's nothing new lately," Hermione admitted.
"Oh," I replied, still feeling overwhelmed.
"Hey, I know I'm not Angelina or George, but I have known you for five years and I am your brother's friend. I do feel I know you well enough to say that it's pretty obvious how you and Fred feel about each other. It was obvious before you went out with Cedric and it was the reason Fred was so irrational last year," I looked over at her but could only stare.
I must have looked upset since Hermione started to backpedal. "Marnie, I know you really cared for Cedric! I'm not trying to say you liked Fred during that time. I actually think you moved on from those feelings. It's not like Fred was ever mature about his feelings for you whereas Cedric seemed to be. I know this is a lot for anyone to contemplate, but out of all this tragedy, Fred seems to have really matured and stepped up for you. And I think it's because of all this tragedy that you owe it to yourself to try and be happy. Seeing how you care about everyone and accept a lot of people to be like family to you, I think you have enough room in your heart to remember Cedric and love Fred at the same time. Losing someone doesn't mean you have to be miserable and feel guilty forever. No one wants that for you Marnie, and I don't think Cedric would either. I hope I'm not overstepping, but I know Harry never tells you how worried he is about you, and trust me he's plenty worried," Hermione finished with a kind smile.
"You're right, I did move on. I didn't want to be with Fred so I chose Cedric. Ced treated me with kindness and he really loved me. And now he's dead and I shouldn't want to be with anyone else. I don't even know if I want to date, but I can't stop my thoughts. Most of the time I feel like I'm going through the motions of life, making it from one moment to the next. I feel blips of life whenever Snuffles chances a visit or Harry hugs me, or the twins pull off a prank. But, when Fred looks at me, it's like I'm transported back to life. I smile and laugh and feel like I can breathe again," I admitted, feeling embarrassed that my brother's best friend had to listen to all my insecurities.
"You know Marnie, I overheard when you said you think you should have been the Hogwarts champion. I know how unbelievably selfish this is, but I don't wish that. Harry is really having a tough time with all this, but I know he relies on you a lot to keep it together. The way you keep the twins in check and bring a sense of calm to the quidditch team. I mean, I don't have that sort of impression on them, they look at me like a pushy prefect. And Ron—he's always talked about you like he wishes he met you before the twins," Hermione's voice started to quicken in its pace.
I moved my hand and put it over hers. I noticed she brought her other hand up to quickly brush away some tears.
"Merlin, I am the complete worst! I wanted to console you; I know how rough of a time you've been having…" Hermione rambled but I squeezed her hand to cut her off.
"Hermione, you are important to Harry and Ron and the others. Don't cut yourself short. And also, thank-you. I needed someone other than the twins or Angelina telling me I'm alright. I need to stop accepting everyone's pity and make the hard decisions so I can get rid of all this guilt," I stood up before offering my hand to Hermione to help her up.
"So erm—Marnie… you know you can't come in here anymore," Hermione said nervously.
"Don't worry, you won't catch me in here again," I said rather elusively.
"That's not really what I was getting at," but I started walking away from her towards the exit, waving back since I knew what she really was getting at.
"And don't worry, Ced and I kept it PG in here," I turned around, watching as Hermione's face turned bright red with embarrassment.
I heard her stuttering but took my diversion to exit and avoid any detention she was determined to give me.