No.6

Both the twins were down for the count. Pyjamas on, bathed and fed. Which left me to battle Anna. She was struggling tonight to settle down, excited from the day she'd had. Edward doesn't even notice the impact he has. It's heartbreaking to see how much he downplays his impact on their lives.

"Come on," I sit in the extravagant nursery, in the small brown rocking chair by the heater.

Nights here were cold, which made me race to heat like a moth to light.

"No," Anna giggles at me.

"Now," I demand sternly.

"Nope," she giggles.

She didn't know all too many words - no, yes, daddy, up. All the appropriate commands she needed for her adult slaves - namely me. In her pyjamas she races around the room laughing, swinging her doll around. I watch her look up at the ceiling spinning in a circle before falling back on her bum - something she found hilarious. This kid was slowly melting me with her cuteness.

"I'll come get you," I shrug, "Come here, Annabelle."

The smirk covering her face is double to Edward's - she is a small, female version of her father. She races past my chair and I manage to reach out and grab her around her middle. She squeals out laughing, kicking her legs over the edge of the chair. I cradle her in my arms, covering us both with the blanket over my lap.

"Calm down," I laugh, "It's late. It's almost 8 o'clock again and if your mother finds you still running around the room I'll get my ass handed to me. Although I bet you'd just giggle."

As if understanding that very threat she immediately calms down resting her head against my chest, snuggling into my body as my arms hold her safe. Shushing her I rock in the chair as she happily takes a warm bottle of milk from my hand, drinking it down. Show this kid a warm bottle of milk and she'll stop whatever it is you want her to stop doing. She had outgrown formula but loved warm milk before bed.

"You kids have so much personality. How on earth can you feel so alone," I whisper to her.

She looks up at my face, green eyes wide taking in my features. I hope she doesn't think about my pores. As I rock I lightly use my arm wrapped around her back to stroke my finger along her small, chubby thigh. As we rock her long lashes flutter onto her cheeks trying to desperately keep open her eyes. She's fighting it but I won't let her win.

"Go to sleep, angel," I keep my voice soft, "come on, Anna."

I shush her gently, soothing her into sleep. When she nods off I manage to pry her bottle from her hands so I can cuddle her closer to me. I make the decision to stay with her like that for a moment - just to make sure she's completely asleep. So that when I decided to move her to her crib she doesn't wake. For now I wanted to stay lost in the moment of something so innocent cuddled into me.

"Who sent you? Was it an angel? Or are you the angel?" His voice is quiet but it makes me jump.

"Sorry," I whisper raising an eyebrow, "your butler hired me. Remember?"

"I owe him a massive pay rise. The way you are with them is just nothing short of absolutely incredible," he walks closer smiling down at his sleeping daughter.

"They're amazing kids," my voice is quiet, because waking his kid up is not on my to-do list.

"They've had nannies before, but they've never taken to them this quick. They behave as if you've been here for months," his eyes study me now, drowning me with his intrigue and curiosity.

"I think they were possibly always like this, Edward," I say, "perhaps they felt the need to stash it away to keep you and your wife happy."

"That hurts to hear, but you're right. I'm thankful you're here now to help draw out who they are," he leans down to run a finger along his daughter's cheek.

At this proximity I can smell his soap, a sandalwood scent taking hold of my senses. I can only admire - earlier today I had reached the sad conclusion that it would only ever be that. He was married. The affair with the nanny isn't in our cards.

"You do too. They adore you," I say, "I've told you before and I mean it, you're an excellent father. What you're doing for them gives them all the hope in life. Every possibility lies at their feet because of your sacrifice."

"I've never wanted spoiled kids. I wanted them humble and thankful, but when I'm at work I don't know what lies Tanya feeds them. When I come home I see them for such a short amount of time if at all. They're tucked into bed, asleep," he says, "When I do see them they behave like kids. When they're around Tanya they're uptight and rigid. I just accepted that as her parenting method."

"It's not a method," I scoff, "this is a parenting method. Has she ever even rocked her baby to sleep?"

"I have," Edward says, "I thought at first this was all postpartum depression. That it would all go away. Before the twins, she wasn't like this. Something changed. She had an affair when the twins were two and I forgave her but just never truly trusted her. She begged me to stay because our reputation couldn't take the hit at that time. I agreed because of my career, and I don't think I was ready to say goodbye to her, maybe I loved her still. Now I regret it, now we sleep separate and I can't find love for her anywhere. It makes me wonder if I ever did, which hurts cause that means I've never had true love. Well, then Anna came along when I was preparing to call us quits. I literally had contracts ready to go but I felt I had to stay, I was scared of what it would do to our family with divorce on top of a new baby. I've made terrible mistakes and decisions that I thought were the right intention."

"Sometimes our best intentions make a mess," I whisper, "but there's time to clean up now."

"I'm divorcing her, Bella. The cheating has started again and she thinks I don't know. She thinks I want out because I'm unhappy. Unhappy is the tip of the iceberg. I'm talking to lawyers to protect us but I can't make a move until I know these kids will be with me," he says, "after today I want to make sure these kids are here in this house with me. I won't let her take them then leave them at home with nannies all day while she goes and spends her money at events sipping champagne boasting about motherhood."

"I can help you," I don't know why I said that.

"That's not your concern. It just feels so nice to speak to you," he shakes his head, "a complete outsider but it's also so easy to just unload on you. You listen and care about what I have to say. It reminds me of my sister."

"I can make sure you get these kids," I say softly, "when the time comes I'd testify in your favour. I'm living here after all for the next year and in just two days your wife has failed to make an impression."

He kneels down in front of me before he takes my hand slowly bringing it up to his lips, kissing my knuckles.

"Where did you come from?" he smirks up at me.

"The answer is America, but I know that's not what you mean. I'll only leave when you and your angels no longer need me," I whisper.

"Nanny Mcphee?" he grins.

"He's cultured," I laugh quietly, "another tick."

"Tick for what exactly?" He raises an eyebrow.

On my checklist of what I when I think of forever.

"Nothing," I smile.

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