Chapter 17j: Realization
I am sorry, mom. But I have to.
The door behind me closes. I feel a pang of guilt as I turn the key and lock the door once more. It isn't fair.
Dad, I know this will hurt you.
My hands run through my hair and free it from the constraints of the hairtie as I walk downstairs. A bit of help from my hands and all the hairs are mostly free and untangled once more.
I know I promised you both.
In full view of those two, who are watching TV, I go about putting my hair back in the hairtie. I rarely leave it unbound; it is just so much of a bother. And the braid of yesteryear is unacceptable; it looks so childish. Setty probably couldn't trust in me if I dressed like someone her own age.
I sigh deeply, and it gets Chris' attention. Dangit Jenny, focus!
"What's up, love?"
A smile is forced up to my lips, trying to make light of the situation and not tip off the powers that be too much regarding my inner thoughts.
"Oh. I'm just a bit upset. This is worse than the house arrest you gave me."
He frowns as he nods, his hand patting the free spot on the couch besides him. I'm not in much of a mood to watch TV with them though, so I just sorta-sit on the armrest. Call it a concession.
"You never ran away. You'd come back with filled pockets. It was a different problem with a different solution."
I forcefully repress another sigh. Of course. I know it was like that, and that Setsu has her own brand of youthful rebellion that is nothing like my own.
But she's still my little sister. If I look out for her well enough, maybe some day, she'll actually think of me that way.
"She said she'd stop running away if she just got to talk to him once. Can't you make it happen..?"
One final time. One final shot. Let's try to not break that promise. Unfortunately, Chris shakes his head.
"And do you know what will come out of that phone call? Those two siblings working hand in hand to stage a meeting. That is what. There is a reason that boy is inside that institution, Jenny."
My teeth gnash over eachother as I move to stand up. "It sucks." I declare as I move to the hallway to get my jacket. I think I'll go for a walk. I don't have the sort of casual cool to pull it off right in front of them, I really don't.
The thought of them catching me red-handed, unlikely as it is.. bah! I don't want to risk it, not one bit. That's the worst of the worst!
I better wait for another day; there is no rush...
"I'll be back in thirty. Going for a walk." I call out to a pair assenting voices. Their attention is already being gobbled back up by the telly again.
As I close the door behind me, I realize that the capriciousness of Spring is still in effect. It is raining? Bah. Now I need to go back inside to get an umbrella. Or skip this walk. I can vent to the walls in my room too, right?
The new locks unlock easily as I come back in. There is no squeak. That got fixed with all the new locks they put in to deter Setty. The irony is that the missing spare key that caused all this was in my hands. I knew where they kept it and got lax about putting it back at some point. I might admit to borrowing it some day.. but then I'll have to be the one to face the music.
I'd be shooting myself in the foot. They gave me a key when I asked this time because I've been becoming so much more responsible. The irony here is honestly not lost on me.
As I am about to take my jacket off, I overhear something.
"Did you have to lie? You know kids eventually catch on to those, and from then on it is a slippery slope with regards of the truth."
Okay, mom..? That's an interesting topic. I stop moving, focusing my ears to the best of my abilities to try and hear through the noise of the telly.
"It is just a bit of misrepresentation, not a lie. He is inside an institution for anger management. That is a fact."
"But even his therapist has been calling us to try and make those two meet. Apparently the boy has been doing really well and a carrot would help keep him motivated."
"Are you the one reconsidering? It was you who convinced me we should keep those two from meeting to begin with!"
"And I was right! I still am, most likely! Setsuka's fixation on him just isn't healthy. Even if he doesn't end up abusing her in some fit of rage, it doesn't take a genius to see that girl needs a normal family environment. Jenny is a great sister to her, and they've been bonding healthily, haven't they?"
I can barely hear Chris grumbling, but mom just keeps talking.
"We just need to keep them separated. Setsuka will forget about wanting to see him, and who knows, by the time she's an adult she may not even be interested anymore in meeting that destructive older brother of hers."
Fat chance, I find myself mumbling under my breath. Thankfully, the telly and wall form an effective sound barrier that makes my mumbling go unnoticed.
Their conversation carries on, but I choose a random umbrella from the collection and sneak out of the door to start my walk proper. I'll give myself away to those two if I stay any longer.
The downpour has gotten heavier.
I can't believe I was defending them!
All of a sudden, I feel a whole lot less guilty about breaking that promise I made back then.