Harry, Remus and my father ended up bringing a cake, made by Mrs. Weasley, over to the hospital the next day for Harry's birthday. He wasn't good at hiding the guilt that he felt from the Department of Mysteries. But instead of yelling at each other, which would have prohibited Harry from returning everyday to visit me, I opened my arms to him and let him feel his sorrow instead. Dad and Remus stepped out of the room to give us a moment to grieve together before Harry decidedly got up to cut into his birthday cake.
The twins also kept coming everyday, and usually were allowed in to see me unless I had a bad night. A bad night meant I would be woken up by my incorrigible nightmares and be too distraught to be settled without a strong Calming Draught.
But slowly, Healer Poke felt more and more confident in my progress until I was allowed to go home at the end of August.
This meant that Harry, dad and I moved back to the cottage since everyone felt I would do best somewhere familiar. The unspoken reason was that my dad was worried I would be set off over my grief of Sirius if we stayed at Grimmauld Place where he and Harry had been staying.
But when I followed my father into my childhood home, suddenly it felt too quiet compared to the city. And Harry was due to leave for school tomorrow which would leave only me and my father here.
"I'll get supper going," dad announced as soon as we were all inside, leaving the two of us to get settled.
Harry didn't bother bringing his trunk upstairs since he would be bringing it to the train station tomorrow. Instead, he helped me bring mine up to our shared room.
The two of us standing up there made the room seem a lot smaller than it ever had growing up. Harry and I were undeniably older than when he first moved in here; we were no longer thirteen and eleven. I had since graduated and Harry was going into his sixth year.
"So, the twins are bringing you to the shop tomorrow?" Harry asked, knowing already that this was the plan.
I had formed a routine plan with Healer Poke before I was able to be discharged. Since I hadn't applied to any real jobs yet, and no one was certain I should be dedicating myself to anything too demanding, the twins had agreed that I could work for them. I would be able to do whatever I could to help out, and then help with stock or something when I got overwhelmed. Plus, since the shop was doing so great, they could afford to hire me as an assistant.
"Yea, Fred's coming by after breakfast to escort me," I rolled my eyes, still hating that I needed a chaperone.
Everyone was afraid of how I would react in the city, surrounded by people. No one wanted me to separate from reality in the middle of muggle London.
Harry nodded encouragingly but I didn't miss the expression that told me something else was on his mind.
"Did something happen when you went to the shop to get your school supplies?" I asked, remembering dad talking about Mrs. Weasley bringing Harry out shopping when the school lists arrived.
Harry squirmed under my gaze and shrugged, poorly passing off my question. But I leveled my best older sister stare and watched Harry purposefully avoid my gaze.
"Harry, I'm not weak! I know Bellatrix had me in that basement for a month but I'm not worthless. Please, just tell me what you found or saw," I pleaded, hating that people were treating me different.
The twins didn't ask me about my time with Bellatrix even though I knew they were desperate for answers. Remus didn't bring up any Order business in front of me and now Harry was sidestepping my questions. Dad was the absolute worst, treating me like I had become breakable. And I know he was the one who told the Weasleys to be quiet and composed whenever they visited me in the hospital.
I missed the noise and liveliness of their family and hated the worry behind everyone's eyes. But my reaction elicited something else in Harry as he finally met my gaze.
"Marnie, I don't think you're weak! I think your loads brave to have survived all that. I know you'll continue with the Order when I'm gone, and I'm even counting on you to update me while I'm away because I know the others won't," Harry's look was serious and I nodded, a promise between us that we wouldn't coddle each other after all the misery we had already endured. "I—I just feel guilty. It should have been me. I was the weak one, being led there by Voldemort. Sirius died because I was too stupid to listen. Hermione was right, it was a trap," Harry sank down onto his bed and I walked over to join him.
I didn't offer any words since I knew there was nothing to fill the loss we both felt over Sirius. But I hoped my embrace told him that no one blamed him, and he was only acting in the interest of his godfather.
"I would have done the same thing, you know. If I knew what my dream was telling me I would have gone to the Department of Mysteries too," I finally spoke and Harry sat up to look at me.
"You had a dream too?" Harry asked in surprise.
"Yea, that night before my final exam, I saw—" I deadpanned and tried to push the horrible images from my mind,.
I could hear my mother's screams ringing in my ears but kept my focus on Harry sitting beside me.
He must have sensed my hesitation since he leaned over to grab onto my hand and squeezed it slightly so I could feel the weight and ground myself.
"I saw her Harry. On the day she went mad. I—I saw it happen, like it was happening to me," I heard my voice stutter and Harry tightened his grip on my hand.
"I'm so sorry you saw that," Harry paused as he tried to picture what his sister must have seen, and on the night before Sirius died and she was taken by a deranged Death Eater.
But both of them knew, just like Harry's dreams meant something, so did Marnie's. Whereas Harry's were directly connected to Voldemort himself, Marnie's seemed to be tied with her mother's past.
"Why didn't you tell anyone you had that dream?" Harry asked.
I took a deep breath.
"I'm tired of being the victim Harry. While you've been running around being the hero, I'm always getting left behind or put in harm's way. I know how much everyone worries about my dreams, especially when they're nightmares. I was petrified by that stupid snake, I was knocked out by the fleet of dementors. And then my boyfriend was murdered and I wasn't even brave enough to be chosen as champion to be able to save him!" Harry flinched but didn't say anything as I continued. "I'm not the brave Gryffindor like everyone else. Alicia, Katie and Angelina are all exceptional quidditch players, able to take on the Slytherins no problem and beat them to boot. Lee found his place, easily helping out the twins and dating Katie. And then there's the twins, who don't care about anything that might get in their way. They've been set on opening that shop since we were in fourth year and now look at them, the youngest shopkeepers in Diagon Alley and making a killing doing it!" I knew my father would come up if he heard my increasing volume, but I couldn't help my heated confessions as they spilled out one after the other.
"Marnie, you can't believe that! You're the bravest Gryffindor I know! And look at our family and friends, they're all Gryffindors," Harry forced me to look at him as he laid out his argument with conviction. "Like me, you chose Gryffindor instead of going with the hat's suggestion. You thought you had more to prove so you chose Gryffindor for yourself and the hat agreed. You made friends with the twins right away, something that very few people are confident to do. They even make Ron feel uneasy, but don't tell him I told you that. And you don't play quidditch because you never wanted to, not because you're afraid. I love quidditch Marnie, but it is technically just a game. It doesn't single out those who are brave and those who aren't. I mean Malfoy plays and he's an absolute git!" Harry sneered at this but I was able to laugh lightly. "And Hemione also got petrified because Voldemort was going after muggle and squib-borns, not because you two were weak. You are both strong and smart and absolutely deserve to be Gryffindors. And we both fell to the dementors during my third year, but Remus says that's only because we've both been through a lot. I mean, you dream about Lena's attack so of course you fainted. But you also live just like everyone else, not succumbing to your own past. And losing Cedric and Sirius within a year of each other is absolutely horrible. And being kidnapped by arguably the worst Death Eater of them all and living to talk about it, no one has ever done that Marnie! I was so worried, waiting all alone, with hardly any news from Joss about whether you were alright or not. I watched the muggle news, waiting for any answer but it never came!" Harry's voice cracked and both of us were suddenly left speechless with our pasts laid out in front of us.
I was just shy of eighteen whereas Harry was only sixteen, and both of us had endured more than enough for our lifetimes, but the war hadn't even properly started. We both knew it would probably get worse before it got better, but it didn't bode well to think about the future until it actually got here. So instead Harry would go to school to learn more magic and I would officially join the Order, despite anyone's objections.
"Kids, dinner!" my father called from the kitchen and both of us slowly got up before exiting the bedroom.
Despite our intense conversation, I felt slightly better knowing Harry felt similar things to me. We both had flaws and self-doubts, but that only proved we were human.
XX
The next morning Remus arrived to bring Harry to King's Cross and dad side-apparated along with them. Harry and I both knew he was feeling anxious to see Harry leaving, but we had been through the whole home-schooling argument before when the Chamber of Secrets opened. Dad understood now how much Hogwarts meant to Harry and wouldn't let his own worries hinder Harry's needs.
I waved them off and re-entered the cottage when they disappeared. But I didn't even have enough time to even make myself a cup of tea before I heard someone apparate outside the wards. Remus and some of the other Order members had put them up to protect dad when he was alone, and also Harry and I since Harry was still underaged and I hadn't used my wand since the Department of Mysteries. Thankfully though, Bellatrix had only thrown it away before dragging me into the Floo, so Remus had found it and gave it back to me at St. Mungo's.
There was a familiar rapping at the door and I walked eagerly to open it.
"Hiya Hare," Fred greeted happily and immediately leaned in to kiss my cheek.
I felt a soft blush cross my cheeks and realised that Fred and I hadn't really been that intimate in a long time. He kissed me the first day at St. Mungo's and subsequently would give me a soft peck on the cheek whenever he visited with George, but it was never just the two of us like it was now.
So with this sudden realisation I stepped forward and wrapped my arms over his neck and pulled him down so I could find his lips. I breathed through my nose, taking in his minty scent that made my heartbeat quicken.
Fred was taken aback but quickly collected himself to kiss me back, fiercely and without abandon. His arms wrapped tightly around my waist and he didn't let me go until I finally paused to take a breath.
"Dammit George," Fred cursed under his breath when he pulled back and I looked at him dumbfounded.
"Erm Fred, I'm Marnie. Your girlfriend?" I brought my hand up to check his temperature but he swatted it away.
"I know that, Hare. It's just George said he would come track us down if I wasn't back with you in five minutes and now I can't stay here and have a proper snog," Fred's natural glint entered his gaze and I couldn't help but laugh at the normalcy of it all.
"Well, maybe we can make plans for after work?" I offered and watched as Fred lit up even more.
"Yea, you deserve a proper date. I'll kick George out for the evening and I'll even cook," I couldn't hide my immediate grimace and Fred made a look of mock offense.
"Hey, you've never even tried my cooking!" Fred continued to sound like I had shoved a dagger through his delicate ego.
"Alright, alright. I'll try your cooking. Now can we go see this shop of yours? I've been dying to see it!" I exclaimed excitedly but didn't miss the hardening of Fred's expression at the poor choice of words I used.
But he didn't say anything about it and instead leaned in to give me another kiss. This one was just as heated as the first but Fred cut it off with a smirk.
"Just a prelude to this evening," he winked before grabbing my hand and lightly pulled me outside.
I locked the door behind me since I didn't know how long my father would be, before Fred and I walked hand-in-hand outside the wards. Fred didn't let go of my hand and gave me a look that asked if I wanted to side apparate instead of apparating myself. I kept hold of his hand in answer and let myself be transported to Diagon Alley without having to focus on the use of my magic.
XX
I couldn't get over how well the shop was set up. Both of the twins gave me the executive tour which meant I was shown everything from the front displays, to the stockroom, to the flat both of them lived in upstairs.
Since it was the first day of school, it was reportedly a slower day at the shop. This meant I could ease in and watch the twins engage with the customers. They really did have a knack for it, upselling customers and helping others figure out different products. By the end of the day I was even taking a few customers and ringing them through at the till.
"Marnie!" I looked up a little startled at the end of the day to see Angelina walking through the door before George locked it behind her.
I came around and let her embrace me but ignored the sniffles I heard over my shoulder. Angelina quickly rubbed her eyes and pretended seeing me wasn't such a big deal when she stepped back.
"I thought you were in training today?" I asked, knowing Angelina had been recently recruited by the Appleby Arrows.
"Yea, but practice is over and I was asked to get George out of your hair for the evening," Angelina winked but I was more curious about their developing relationship than her assumptions on mine and Fred's.
They didn't stay around too long once we all chipped in to clean up the shop. Angelina practically dragged George out, leaving Fred and I alone.
Once Fred turned out the lights he took my hand and led me upstairs. Surprisingly, he already had the ingredients out on the counter and went over to start cooking.
"Thirsty?" Fred asked as I took a seat at the counter to watch him and he set out a glass of pumpkin juice before I could even answer.
I smiled and took enjoyment in watching Fred try and make something edible. He only set a small fire and burnt the vegetables.
"How is it that you make spectacular joke products but you burn a casserole?" I asked jokingly once it was ready and Fred carried it out to the small kitchen table.
"It's not the same thing!" Fred admonished while II shook my head and laughed.
"No, what you do is far more difficult so cooking should come naturally," I chuckled and let Fred serve me a crispy helping of meat and veggies.
"Just shut up and eat, Hare," Fred laughed and shook his head.
I joined him since it felt good to just laugh over the little things. It felt so easy being here with him, more comfortable than I had felt since being at Hogwarts.
Fred tried his best to keep his face neutral but I kept laughing as he made faces at his own plate. It obviously wasn't as good as his mother's or Hogwarts and suddenly I was curious as to how he and George had been getting by since they moved in here.
"Fred?" I asked once he got up to clear the plates when it was apparent we couldn't stomach anymore.
It wasn't really that bad, especially compared to the hospital food I had been eating over the past month. I did really miss Posy's carrot cake though and wondered if I could get Harry to send a care package from school.
Fred hummed at me, his eyebrows raised with a charming smile.
"Is there anything you want to ask me?" I asked calmly, having been rehearsing this all day in my head whenever there wasn't a customer to engage.
Fred's easy smile vanished and it was replaced by his shaken anxiety.
"It's alright Fred, really," I pressed and watched as Fred set down the casserole pan and motioned for me to join him on the couch.
Fred sat down first and drew me in by the arm so I was sitting right beside him. Our thighs were pressed together so I had to look up to meet Fred's gaze. It was obvious he was nervous but Fred wasn't one to let trepidation slow him down. He had been waiting months for answers and now I was finally giving him the opportunity to ask his burning questions.
"I've had so many questions since the minute I found out you went missing. We knew something was wrong because mum arrived in the middle of the night and we still hadn't really been on speaking terms at that point. It was like- my whole world shifted in an instant and I hated not knowing anything. But now that you're here, all I want to know is if you can forgive me?" Fred's voice was serious, something I wasn't used to seeing on him.
I felt my eyes widen but I wasn't completely surprised Fred had somehow warped this situation around to be his fault. It was something he had been doing since the first day we met.
"And what am I forgiving you for this time?" my reply was more playful but Fred remained stoic.
"For leaving Hogwarts without you. It was such a selfish choice, and I wasn't there when you needed me. I should have been there," Fred's voice dropped to a whisper but the silence between us made it easy to hear him.
"Fred listen- it was my fault I got taken. I let my guard down, and even though I felt I had a good reason to after seeing Sirius murdered, it still got me kidnapped. I don't know if you being there would have changed the outcome, but I don't wish you were part of it. It was horrible and scary and I'm glad it was me and not anyone else. I know you wish for something different, but that's what happened and all we can do is keep going forward. I have to put it behind me Fred," I paused and heard my voice crack. "I just have to or it'll consume me."
The healers had worked their magic, quite literally, but my mind was still a garbled web of fear, panic and pain. It would take a lot longer to rework myself back to normal and I didn't want anything changing because of that; especially how Fred loved me.
But as it was Fred's nature, he immediately donned his mischievous smile and went back to his normal. He no longer looked scared or intimidated that his girlfriend had been a Death Eater's captive but that he wanted to enjoy the rest of the evening like these kinds of dates were normal.
We both knew I had been tortured by Bellatrix Lestrange, on and off, everyday, for a month. I had been taken to Malfoy Manor where Voldemort was also holing up, something the Ministry apparently was now willing to admit. The Order would ask their questions at their next meeting, something Remus had already warned me about and both Fred and George would be by my side. So for now, we wouldn't let the past weigh us down.
"Do you want dessert, Hare?" Fred asked, getting to his feet as he spoke.
He kissed me softly on the forehead before he walked back to the kitchen which was open to the living room and the table we had eaten at, although I wouldn't call it a dining room.
"That depends. Did you make it?" I smirked and Fred returned a look of mock insult.
And just like that, it was Fred and me like old times. Of course things had changed, but it wouldn't come between us. Fred was no longer insecure about our relationship since we ended up together and I wasn't willing to give up on having a relationship just because my mind was confused sometimes.
"Come on Hare, I'll take you to Fortescue's; my treat," Fred grabbed our coats from the hook where we had deposited them this morning and then I followed him out into the darkening streets of Diagon Alley.
For now, this was more than enough.