Disclaimer: I don't own jack!
Pairing: Okita/Kagome
Suggested Listening: Prayer in C (Robin Schulz Remix) by Lilly Wood & The Prick
Of Pride and Honor
Chapter Nine: Talking Hearts
Okita woke first to the sound of Kagome's alarm going off on her phone. With measured movements, he reached over her sleeping form and slid the dial across the screen of the device. It ceased its high pitched screeches but the damage to his mood was done. This would be the last morning he'd wake to her in his bed. The man's expression darkened slightly. Her floors were likely dried out by now and therefore she would no longer have a reason to stay in his room, or his arms for that matter. Her mother would catch them quite quickly if he even remotely attempted to convince Kagome to continue sleeping next to him. As her parent, he doubted that she'd be accepting of the semi-sexual direction their relationship had taken recently. He leaned on his forearm over her body. He pressed his forehead against the side of her face; briefly enjoying the way the heat that rolled off of her tiny frame began to warm his own. In this moment, he wanted her bare body beneath his with their hands clamped together and a shared sensation of pleasure running its course through their system. Okita knew that these thoughts were based off of more than just simple lust.
The itch to derive his own pleasure was at a minimum. He couldn't care less about finding his own release through the use of her body. What he was more interested in was all the different ways he could make her cry his name. He wanted to see her expression twist and contort in the throws of passion. He wanted to experience all the ways he could make her toes curl; to taste every part of her flesh and learn all the things he could do to make her crave more of what he had to offer. He wanted her addicted to his touch. A great deal of these desires he knew were driven by the primitive emotion of possessiveness. It was always there and the ronin could feel its claws dragging sharp lines down his back—mimicking what he imagined would be the feeling of Kagome's delicate nails upon his flesh. He wanted her for more than just a single night. He wanted her in his bed every night. But he couldn't bring himself to do that to her. To keep her by his side forever would mean ripping her away from everything she'd ever known—to tear apart the very fabric of her family and shred the last bit of unity that remained beneath the roof of this shrine.
He would not allow his own sense of selfishness to get in the way. Kagome deserved more from him than what he was currently offering her. So what could he do then? What could he possible attain in this era that she wasn't already capable of doing herself? This was virtually a foreign land to him with rules that he didn't understand and road blocks that were insurmountable for a man such as himself. He had no past here. He had no family outside of this shrine. He had no future in this realm. The only thing he had was Kagome herself and even that wouldn't be permanent. He'd have to leave her once his body healed. He couldn't take her.
Said woman rolled to her back as her hair fanned out across his pillow. Her lips were still partially swollen from the previous night. Her chest heaved evenly with each breath she took as a soft moan fell sensually from her mouth. He felt his body respond immediately to the image she made as she lied partly under him. His hands clenched into tight fists as he fought to hold himself back. He couldn't push this limit. He couldn't break that precious trust she had in him. She needed more from him than what he could currently give. For that reason alone he'd fight against his own desires. For she certainly would never state her own needs or desires out loud—she'd suffer silently until she'd shut down completely. He wouldn't allow that. Carefully adjusting his weight, Okita leaned down and pressed his lips to the shell of her ear.
"Time to wake up." He whispered, a small smile beginning to spread across his lips. She moaned a second time before turning her head closer towards his. A soft sigh tumbled from her lips as her expression relaxed. The ronin fought back a laugh. She was rather cute in the mornings. Then again that just seemed to be a part of what made her, well her. "Come on, time to get up. Or would you rather stay in bed with me today?" To tease her, he took the lobe of her ear between his teeth and gave it a gentle nip. This time Kagome's brows knitted together as she began to mumble incoherently.
"…. Don't wanna… too warm…" She rolled to her side and wrapped an arm around his ribs and a leg over his waist. "Stop moving, stupid blanket."
That time he did laugh—quite loudly too. She was completely out of it. In fact he was certain that she'd be mortified at what she'd just done, and said for that matter, if she found out. As tempted as he was to leave her be and fall back to sleep beside her, Okita knew that it'd only be a matter of time before her mother would traverse up the stairs to rouse her daughter from this near comatose-like slumber. She had school today and therefore needed to be leaving within the hour. With a great deal of reluctance, he sat up and pulled the covers from her. The reaction was instantaneous. Kagome rolled closer to him; curling into a tiny ball and seeking the warmth that his body could provide.
The man reached up a brushed a strand of hair from her face to behind her ear. The young woman sighed once more before her eyes began to flutter open. Ah, so she was starting to rouse already. He had figured that he'd have to do something more drastic to wake her completely. The last thing either of them needed was for her mother to walk in on them in such a state. As far as he knew, the woman was completely unaware of what exactly transpired in his bed these past two nights. She merely just had her suspicions. Not that he'd confirm or deny anything directly anyways. He was prepared to suffer the worst kind of torture in order to take that bit of information to his grave.
Kagome sat up fully, her eyes blinking lazing as she stretched her arms high up in the air. The movement caused her back to arch sensually as she gave him an unintentionally good view of the outline of her breasts. He'd learned the previous night that his host preferred to sleep without the upper under-garment she called a 'bra' for support. When he casually asked, she claimed that it was because wearing that particular article of clothing caused them a great deal of irritation during the night. Thus she often chose to go without it. The resulting image left Okita struggling against the now familiar wave of desire that flushed through his system.
Emerald eyes roved from the slender line of her collarbone, over the swell of her breasts before finally stopping at the hourglass of her hips. He wanted her under him. He wanted to feel the softness of her flesh beneath his touch. He wanted to hear her demure, sultry moans to the sound of his name. He wanted her to want him. The ronin shook his head as he tried to clear the thoughts from his mind. Perhaps it would be better if she returned to her room from here on out—if this kept up then he wasn't certain just how long his own sense of self-control would last.
"Morning…" The young woman greeted him groggily. She rubbed the back of her hands over her eyes, as if trying to wipe the sleep away. "What time is it?"
Okita wrapped his arms around her waist and swiftly pulled her tiny frame to his much larger one. He pressed his face into the crook of her neck as he closed his eyes. The scent of cherry blossoms and fresh rain water filled his senses once more. It worked a soothing effect over his frayed nerves. Warmth. Kindness. These were the things he found himself craving from her the most. His fingers curled into the fabric of her tank as thoughts of his impending departure returned. There were three more months before his regiment would be complete. That was three months to decide what they would do with the well. Three months to figure out where their relationship was going and where they wanted to take it. His brows furrowed. He'd always placed his own needs above every else's. The only person who'd ever managed to make him care before this was Kondou. This emotion, this absolute need was something completely foreign to him. He needed Kagome with him. Yet he didn't want her to resent him. He needed her to choose him but in doing so he'd force her to tear away the connection that tied the both of them to her family. Why was this so damn hard? Why couldn't he have just kept his fucking distance? Most of all, why couldn't he pull away?
"Time for you to get ready." The man breathed into her velvety flesh. A small smile spread across his lips as she leaned into his embrace. She tilted her head and pressed her temple against his cheek.
"Souji," Her voice was gentle and full of concern. He felt the palm of her hand move to cradle his face within its warmth. He turned his head and traced the line of her palm to her middle finger with the barest touch of his lips. She continued, "Are you alright? You're shaking." Was he? He hadn't even noticed. At this point he no longer knew if his body was trembling from the amount of restraint he'd put himself under or if the need to experience physical pleasure had become so severe. Either way, he needed to reign himself in. He was a warrior, not some hormonal teenager.
"I'm fine," The man responded calmly. He brought his mouth back to her neck and began to lightly press his lips against the skin—creating a trail up to the space behind her ear. She bit her lip at the action and subconsciously titled her head to provide him with better access. It took every ounce of control for Okita not to simply brush his hands across the straps of her tank and push the form-fitting cloth down and leave her shoulders bared before him. Instead he adjusted his arms so that he held one around her waist and silently shifted the other to grasp gently at her chin. He coaxed the young woman to lean further over so that he would have full access to every part of her neck. She obliged without complaint, a soft blush already darkening her cheeks.
The ronin started with the point of her shoulder, pressing a feathery kiss to the small upward tip of the bone beneath her skin. Without lifting his mouth completely, he trailed a heated line to the junction of her shoulder and neck. He pressed a slightly firmer kiss there, enjoying her sharp intake of air as she leaned further into his body. A small smirk threatened to split across his expression but he held back. The man opened his mouth slightly and released a breath of warm air, tracing his nose from her neck to the space behind her ear. She bit her lip as her body began to tremble within his grasp. So Kagome was also just as easily affected by his touch as he was by hers. His fingers curled tighter against her side. He leaned forward slightly and took the lobe of her ear between his teeth in a gentle bite.
"Souji…" It was a moan and his body immediately responded to the demure call of his name. Lost in the moment, he felt his control slip even further. The ronin flicked his tongue out against the outer shell of her ear. She bit her lip even harder to stifle a gasp. However he wouldn't allow it. Quicker than what her reflexes could counter against, he'd brought her chin back up and had slanted his lips over hers in a forceful kiss. It wasn't the shy exploration of their first or the eager discovery of their fourth. Rather this one was both fast and carnal in nature—an act that belied the dark desires that lied beneath his façade of self-restraint.
Okita knew that he was selfish. Most days he was even childish. He wasn't a man that an innocent girl should be getting mixed up with—especially one from such a peaceful time. Yet, he pressed his mouth against hers more firmly as he pushed his tongue beyond the line of her lips once more, he needed her. She responded to his advances just as eagerly. She met his invasion with the same amount of passion, battling with him for dominance.
The ronin broke the kiss momentarily as he shifted his arms and quickly turned her so that she'd face him directly. With a not-so-gentle tug, he'd pulled her until her chest was flush against his own. He wrapped both of his arms around her waist as he slammed his mouth against hers once more. He could practically feel her body heat pouring off of her in waves. Her hourglass fitted to his larger form easily as he held her closer to himself. He wanted this moment to last. The man felt her hands grasp at the bottom of his shirt as if she were about to pull it from his body, while he pushed one of his own hands just beneath the fabric at her waist. The heat of her flesh burned beneath his touch. The tips of his fingers traced the line of her curves; stopping only the moment he'd reached her ribs. The shirt she wore slowly pushed upwards from the force of his touch—revealing her stomach to his eager eyes and hands. The urge to pull the cloth from her body entirely and push her upon her back became overwhelming. He had to stop soon. Where this was going… there'd be no turning back. He would ruin her.
"Kagome!" They swiftly broke apart as her mother called up the stairs. "You're going to be late!" This time he found himself panting along with her. His eyes grew heavy as he took in her countenance. His host's lips had become even more swollen with a thin trail of saliva still connecting them. He dipped his head and softly took her bottom lip between his teeth—nibbling on the petal-like flesh. She pushed at his shoulders slightly as to give herself enough space to regain her breath. Okita reluctantly obliged. A heavy blush went across her nose as she began to roll down the hem of her shirt—clearly unaware that he'd managed to take it up so far. She shot him a shy glance then sucked a breath between her teeth.
The teen took a second to gather her bearings before calling out to her mother, "… I'll be down in a minute!" They listened closely as the sound of the older woman's footsteps padded away from the stairs and back towards the kitchen.
Once certain that she was gone, Okita turned his attention to the woman before him. His gaze softened as he took her hands between his own. "You asked me what I wanted us to be." His fingers curled over hers loosely. "The real question here is what is that you want?" The man rested his forehead against hers and smiled down at her. "If you want this, then you have to tell me. We can figure the rest out later." It was true as well. They had three months. Even if it was short, he wanted to make it count.
"I…" Her tongue flicked out and wet her lips nervously. Azure eyes widened as a blush went across the bridge of her nose. He gave a small laugh at that. She really was adorable in her own way. His grip on her hand tightened ever so slightly. "… I haven't decided yet." He could see the sincere truth in her eyes. A struggle conflicted violently with those azure depths and he knew that Kagome was just as confused and concerned about their situation as he was. The ronin leaned down and pressed a small, gentle kiss to her lips. He wouldn't push her. What happened this morning had been a result of his own impatience and desperation. He couldn't allow it to occur again—at least not like this. He needed her to make that move. After all, it'd be her livelihood on the line, not his.
"Go get ready, before your mother decides to skin me alive for making you late." He laughed heartily as she tumbled off the bed. The sheets twisted around her legs and ankles as she attempted to untangle herself from his covers.
"Looks like it's more than just you trying to hold me back." The teen's expression soured slightly as she kicked at the sheets to no avail. The cloth wrapped even tighter around her legs as she began to stumble-hop across his room. "Screw this." His laughter grew even louder at the image. No matter what, Okita knew that he'd never forget this. It was too damn funny!
The rest of the morning had gone as expected. Souta chatted away happily at the table while Kagome moderated between giving him half hearted answers and brushing her hand against his every now and then. Mrs. Higurashi however…. his eyes roved to the older woman seated directly across from him. She hadn't spoken to him much as of late, yet he could just feel a killer's intent pouring off of her. This wasn't going to be a good day for him if he couldn't invent an excuse to escape the house. Kagome and Souta said their goodbyes as they began to leave for the day. However the boy snatched him by his sleeve and swiftly pulled his head down so that he could whisper to him.
"Hey nii-san, you should probably pick nee-chan up from school today. If you're serious about dating her then you've gotta show up there at least once." The child tugged at his sleeve even more rapidly. "We've only got this week and next before she graduates. Guys get desperate…" And didn't he know that one. He'd nearly allowed his own sense of desperation to cloud his judgment. He nodded his head in acknowledgement before sending the boy off on his way. Desperate, huh? Would that also include Takeshi? His brows furrowed slightly. Kagome hadn't mentioned much about her short-lived relationship with the male. Only that she'd gone on two dates with him before calling it quits. Of course she also stated that it was his possessiveness that turned her off from him as a potential suitor. A light smirk pulled at his lips. If only she knew. Before the man could ponder more on the subject, he found Kagome's mother waving him over.
"Souji," The older woman began as she pushed a cup of freshly brewed tea into his hands, "Would you mind having a talk with me?" Now Okita had always been a cagey child in his youth. He'd been difficult at the best of times and even harder to handle at his worst. Because of that he grew quite familiar with the sensation of his stomach dropping with the threat of an upcoming punishment. The ronin felt faintly surprised at the strength of that nostalgic feeling's return. He almost felt as if he were a wily boy again… and not in a good way either.
"Actually…." He tried to deflect the conversation but she shook her head vigorously.
"Sorry but I need to talk to you. It's important." The way her lips thinned and brows furrowed alluded to the severity of the issue at hand. He also knew what it was she wanted to talk to him about. He just didn't know how he'd go about answering the questions he knew she'd ask just yet. Mostly because he hadn't found his own answers to them. He sighed through his lips before nodding in defeat. It wasn't like he had anything else planned today anyways. Always the bum, never the bread winner. At least in this era anyways. He felt so damn useless.
The pair chose to sit at the table with Mrs. Higurashi in the seat directly across from him. She drew an age-withered finger around the lip of her cup thoughtlessly as she pinned him with a stare that was a mixture between determination and concern. Okita brought his own cup to his lips and silently sipped at the tea inside of it. This was going to be a long talk so he might as well get comfortable.
"First of all, I want to thank you for what you've done so far." The other woman's voice was soft as a kind smile spread across her lips. His brows immediately quirked upwards at the statement. What? Him? What'd he do? Outside of kidnapping her daughter from her bedroom twice in a row and contemplating stealing her away to his era without her mother's permission… Damn he really did sound like some sort of fiend when he thought about it that way.
"I'm sure you've noticed it by now but my daughter has something of an aversion towards men. Well at least certain types of men." She corrected herself as she thought over her words carefully. The ronin nodded once more. That was true enough. She hardly ever let her guard down around Takeshi and he'd only heard a snippet of the horror stories her friends had told him in regards to her behavior towards other men. Given that much, he was surprised she allowed him to do as much with her as she did. A minor flush of pride went through him at the thought but he quickly subdued it. Now wasn't the time.
"You're the first person she's ever really let get close to her since she went down that well." The melancholic expression that she'd worn back in the well house all that time ago returned in full force. Azure eyes turned downwards to stare listlessly into the swirling, darkly colored liquid of the tea. "Did you know that my daughter used to be quite energetic as a child?" A small laugh escaped her lips as the skin around her eyes crinkled in delight at the memory. "She used to ride around her father's shoulders and beg him to 'make her fly'. She loved him so much. To be honest I felt a little jealous at the time. I had no idea how my husband managed it. He was practically a child himself."
They both knew that she was virtually rambling now but he remained silent—partly curious about Kagome's past and partly concerned at how their situation had changed. The only thing he knew was that a good portion of this family had already passed on. A small shrine had been erected in a room just out of viewing distance of the foyer. Pictures of two middle aged men that looked similar in appearance, a kind-looking woman and a jovial older man dotted the memorial along with the occasional incense stick. He felt his heart sink. Could he really take Kagome away from them too? They'd already seemed to have lost so much.
"They were quite the pranksters, you know." Mrs. Higurashi gave him a small, genuine smile. "Not all that unlike yourself. Perhaps that's why my daughter became so taken with you." Suddenly he shifted as an awkward feeling settled in his gut. Her dad? He doubted she was thinking about her father during those heated moments of passion they'd had earlier. Or at least he hoped she didn't. Now he was feeling a bit unsettled by this whole conversation. As if sensing his discomfort, the woman across from him began to clarify her statement. "It's not really like that. Honestly I think it's just because you're so kind to her. She's not used to men using manners or for asking permission to do things." Her brow furrowed again.
"Kagome's had a bit of a bad streak when it comes to that sort of thing. The world across the well only made that worse for her." She placed her elbow upon the table and rested her chin against the back of her hand. "It's not my place to speak much about the trials she went through over there. Mostly because I don't even know much about it myself." She used her free hand to take a sip from her own cup of tea. "That place…" The woman hesitated, "It changed her."
That concern he felt when he first laid eyes upon his host's scar returned ten fold. He was right. Kagome had just been a normal girl before she'd been dragged to the other side to fight the gods only know what. A fucking centipede ripped a jewel from her side at the very start of that 'journey'. Who knows what other kinds of terrors she had to face down during that time. He felt his own brows knit together sharply. He couldn't bring her back to the battlefield. He wouldn't allow it.
"She didn't tell us much about the things that would happen over there. Just that as time went on she'd made a few allies and comrades in battle." Azure eyes darkened with melancholy as she glanced towards the Goshinboku, visible only through a window adjacent to the kitchen. "There was only one time that I'd heard her reference anyone as a friend over there. It was a woman that she claimed to be teaching her how to fight. Then, one day she just stopped mentioning her altogether." She took another sip. "I don't think she felt that she could rely on a lot of people back then. Especially after she ceased speaking of her friend, she began to withdraw into herself and refused to let anyone know if she was ill, hurting or in pain."
Mrs. Higurashi sighed heavily, "You've probably already noticed that much at least." He nodded vigorously as he waited for her to continue on with the discussion. "Most times she wouldn't even tell me if she was bleeding from an injury. I'd only find out after collecting the trash and there'd be whole rolls of bloodied bandages. Looking back, I always have to ask, how did I miss it? There was so much, there had to have been some sign." Her voice cracked as she pressed her forehead against the back of her hand—hiding her face from view.
He wanted to say something but nothing even remotely appropriate came to mind. What was he supposed to do? Tell her he was sorry? For what? He wasn't around then. He couldn't have done anything even if he wanted to. Which he did. He really wished he did. Bloodied bandages. Violent scars. What kind of hell had that woman put herself through? His own sense of respect for his host rose at the revelation. Despite this discovery, Kagome still had the strength to smile and enjoy her life—she wasn't letting herself be hindered by this past. His main regret was that he hadn't arrived in this era sooner.
Mrs. Higurashi sucked a breath between her lips, "I guess no matter how much you want to, there's no way to change the past." An awkward silence fell between the two of them. The air conditioning kicked on somewhere in the background as a loud, mechanical sound filled the otherwise empty space between them with its noise. "The thing that I'm trying to get to is that Kagome, well, she's not very good about stating what she needs. It's almost as if she feels ashamed if she can't do something herself the first time. She tries so hard to be independent but I know that those adventures have been eating away at her."
She glanced in his direction, a severe expression crossing her countenance, "Souji, I've spoken in length with Kagome about what will happen once you've healed. She's fairly convinced that the well will not permit you to travel back on your own. At this point I think she's decided to return with you of her own accord." The older woman quietly pushed her cup of tea away as a sharpness returned to her eyes. It was reminiscent of the disapproving glare Hijikata would give him when he'd done something to pester him. The look was almost like a parent who was about to give him a severe scolding. He felt his stomach drop even further. This was exactly what he'd feared would happen. "I need to know what you plan to do after you return. I cannot allow my daughter to pass through to the other side otherwise."
Her eyes narrowed as she threaded her fingers together tightly. "You said that you'd return to the Shinsengumi but would they accept her? Being a woman I'm certain that there are things that she would not be permitted to do." He shifted as he began to think over her question thoroughly. "Moreover what would you do if she were to return with you? Have you thought of how you would handle that situation? What of finances? Could you support her if she needed it?" This was quickly devolving into an interrogation but Okita knew that this was a necessary conversation. He needed to be thinking about these things—not just because of his own selfish desire but because Kagome returning to his era was a very real possibility. One that probably neither of them could stave off if she were truly so inclined to go with him. Admittedly, he felt both relieved and torn about the entire situation. How did he always get himself into these kinds of messes?
He raised his hand in a gesture of defeat, "The Shinsengumi has never allowed a woman outside of the wives of the upper leadership to live on the compound. Kagome would likely have to be relocated to one of the houses for the Aizu domain if she were to go back through to the other side." That was the honest truth. If he really wanted her beside him, then he'd either have to visit her at the Aizu compound or take her as his wife. The man bit the inside of his cheek. Wife, huh? That word struck an odd chord within him. It wasn't negative though. It was almost to the extreme opposite, but could he call it love? He glanced down into the swirling brew of his tea.
"Financially, she'd be my responsibility and therefore I would support her." But how far would that support go? It was unlikely that he'd get away with only a minor punishment for this extended absence without proper notification. A massive pay cut was looming just on the horizon if he did manage to make it back. Would his support be enough? Would he be enough? The man shook his head to wave the thoughts away.
"As it stands we don't know if Kagome leaving with me will even be a necessity." His voice dropped slightly as he spoke the words he knew to be the truth in his heart. "I'd rather see her remain in this era. My time period is not peaceful nor does it provide many opportunities for her. She'll be limited in what she can do and where she can go on her own. It's not safe." He closed his eyes as he thought over the next part carefully. "So for now I'd rather not make assumptions on this situation just yet. There's still three more months to try to reopen the well." A wry smile pulled at his lips as he looked her mother in the eyes. "I have no intentions of stealing her away like a thief, you know." Well, maybe not this morning. He was definitely thinking about stealing her away then… in more ways than one too. But Mrs. Higurashi didn't need to know that. Hell he'd be happy if she never knew.
Azure eyes widened in shock before a warm smile spread across her own lips, "Thank you, Souji. I don't think you realize just how much that means to our family." She swirled her index finger over the rim of her cup once more. "I guess we just got so used to her being taken from here that it's difficult to imagine any other kind of ending." Her expression darkened as she opened her mouth and closed it once; clearly thinking deeply on what she should say next. "If I mention this, you'll have to swear not to bring it up with Kagome at all. Do you understand?" The woman's voice became as sharp as a blade as her eyes cut through him. The ferocity of a grizzly protecting its cubs shined within the older woman's gaze. He nodded once, his own expression becoming clouded with a deep concern. This wasn't going to be good. He just knew it.
"The reason why I never stopped my daughter from leaving before was because we never had that choice." Her voice broke as she placed her forehead on the back of her hands. "I wasn't blind or naïve to the danger she was putting herself in. Despite her best efforts to not worry us, I knew she was getting injured… a lot." She paused her tone quivered from the memories of the past. "She never talked much about her time there. She didn't call anyone her friend other than a single demon slayer. Yet she had 'comrades' who were not of human blood. So why was it she was always returning home with injuries? I can't count the amount of times she'd broken an arm or rib. We eventually had to start visiting multiple doctors to avoid suspicion of abuse in our own home." Her nails suddenly dug half-moon circles into the skin of her hands. "Whatever happened on that side, whatever reason those people over there may have, I know that they failed her." The conviction in her eyes told him that she spoke nothing but the truth. His own fingers curled into his palms in tight fists. Where was she going with this?
"My daughter was only travelling consistently for a year. In that time she became withdrawn. She rarely spoke and often came back with severe wounds, broken bones and a concussion on one occasion." Her gaze narrowed into slits as she pinned him with a sharp glare. "If you take her back with you, you'll have to be prepared to face those same horrors that she did. We'll be depending you to put everything on the line to protect her since we no longer would be able to. In this era those creatures that sought to abuse the power she was born with no longer exist." A severe look crossed Mrs. Higurashi's countenance—steeply contrasting against the laugh lines and gentle smiles he knew her normally use. "That would not be the case in your time. I'm sure that many would take advantage of the violence and war to exact their retribution." She bit her lip as her brows furrowed. "Swear to me that if you take her back that you'll protect her. I will not allow my child to leave otherwise. She is my daughter and I will do what I must to keep her safe—even if it means separating her from you." It was no idle threat. He could tell that she meant every word. Still there was something he was worried about.
"Those injuries," He began quietly, slightly uncertain of how to pursue the topic. "Were they consistent with battle?" He had to know. A wave of violence along with the sickening feeling of bile rose at the back of his throat. Concussion, broken arm, broken rib, scars and wounds. That didn't sound like a fight between warriors to him. That sounded much, much worse.
The Higurashi matriarch closed her eyes as she released a sigh, "I have no way of confirming it myself. Kagome doesn't speak of it either." She looked towards the Goshinboku once more as that melancholic look took over her otherwise soft features. "All I know is that whatever those people did on the other side, it changed my daughter. The only person who's been able to bring back even just a tiny bit of her self has been you, Souji." She gave him a small smile. "So for that I must thank you. I apologize if I was being too forward but my child's safety will always be my top priority." A small spark of violence quickly entered her eyes. "Just don't give me a reason to separate you two. I'm well aware of what occurred this morning and I'm not happy with you, young man."
Oh shit. He was screwed. Well, not literally, as unfortunately as that was. But still screwed all the same. The man coughed into his hand as he tried to change the subject, "Sorry, I forgot that I needed to fill out an application today." He stood abruptly and hastily attempted to make his way towards the front door. The man only stopped as his palm touched the handle. His eyes hardened momentarily as he sucked a breath between his teeth. "About our conversation, I won't mention anything to her." Okita cocked his head over his shoulder and gave the older woman a slight nod of acknowledgement. "I gave you my word and I'll stand by that. However like I said earlier it's still too soon to be making assumptions." A small smirk pulled at his lips as he tried to lighten the mood before he left. "Besides, I rather like spending time here. I might just stay a little longer yet." With that he left the shrine for his next destination: The little restaurant across from the maid café. Kagome would be pissed at him for picking that job just because it was close to her place of employment, but that was precisely why he wanted to work there. He'd be able to keep an eye on her and earn his own way for once.
The man closed the door behind him as he made his way across the city. He spent a grand total of an hour and an half from the moment he left the shrine to the end of the interview. The restaurant was small but upscale. It'd been designed after a European bistro with round tables, an oak bar and warmly colored stools and walls. It had a nice feel to it overall. The interview itself had been conducted by an older male in his mid to late fifties with snow-colored hair and a deep set line for a mouth. Overall it wasn't a bad experience but not entirely enjoyable either. Okita managed to walk out of the restaurant with a promise of a phone call from the man tomorrow with an answer in regards to his application. A small smirk pulled at his lips. Now, where was her school? The ronin briefly pulled up the map on his phone that Kagome had showed him how to use.
It looked like it wasn't that far from here—a ten minute walk at the most. He shoved his hands into his pocket and made the trip silently. Despite the interview his mind continuously wandered back to what her mother had said earlier. Wounds, broken bones and a concussion. His fingers flexed from within his pockets. Those injuries combined with Kagome's particularly vicious reaction to possessive and overbearing males left a suspicion clawing at the back of his mind. She always smiled so brightly—to think that something like that might have happened to her put Okita at odds with himself. Shouldn't he have noticed? A sickening feeling rose from his gut once more. He'd keep his promise and not bring up the subject to his host but that wouldn't stop him from investigating it further. He needed to know, for her sake.
The tell tale silhouette of the school loomed from atop of a hill. The street leading up to its oversized gates were lined with fully bloomed cherry blossoms. Pink petals dotted the pavement in a uneven layer of flora. It was rather beautiful. He could admit that at the very least. Other teenagers loitered around the front of the building chatting with each other in small groups. The man surveyed the open courtyard quietly as he thought over his predicament. He actually didn't know what time school officially let out for Kagome. She usually worked or spent her time with the Kyudo club so it was always an hour or more later than her usual release time. He cocked his head to the side and rubbed his chin pensively. Now that he thought about it, how would he find her if she was still in class?
"Hey, you looking for somebody?" A masculine voice inquired politely. He glanced up to find a male, no more than a year or so younger than himself, dressed in a navy colored uniform and loafers. The stranger quirked his brow as he pointed towards the school. "We don't get many visitors here but if you're looking for someone specific you can always ask the front desk. They can help you out."
Okita nodded, "I appreciate it. Actually, would you happen to know where I could find Higurashi Kagome?"
The teen's brows rose nearly into his hairline, "Higurashi from 3-A? That Higurashi?"
Oh right, she disliked overbearing men. With the rumors that had spread among her own friends he sincerely doubted that many males were willing to approach her at this point. The few souls brave enough were likely the types she'd be most tempted to beat into a early grave. He gave a small snort of laughter.
"Yeah, you see I was supposed to tell her something this morning before she left but I forgot. Think you can find her for me?" The ronin crossed his arms over his chest as he smirked at the bewildered male. "She can be pretty scatter-brained if I don't remind her every so often."
The student closed his mouth and gave a slight shrug, "I don't know if you're bullshitting me or not man, but you can find her out by the inner courtyard around this time. Just go through the school and make a right. It's not too far away." The moment Okita walked away the other male piped up once more. "Oh and good luck! You'll need it with that one!"
This time he did laugh. The man raised his hand and gave the teen a nonchalant wave, "Thanks!" He followed the other's instructions and pushed his way through the school—threading through the swelling crowds of students in their navy uniforms and idle chatter. He made a right turn at a split. At the far end of the corridor a wide-paned window was splayed across the majority of the wall space. Ah, so that must be the inner courtyard. His speed increased as he continued on his way. Honestly he didn't really know what he wanted to say to her. The only thing he felt was the insatiable need to see her given the conversation earlier. Perhaps if he just saw that she was fine then his concerns would ease. He pressed his lips into a thin line as he spotted her standing beneath a cherry tree, Takeshi's larger form clearly in front of her. Now what?
The ronin pushed open the door a little more roughly than intended as he made his way over to them. Their conversation slowly flowed over him as he entered the courtyard.
"I get it. I really do but don't you think you're being unfair?" That was Takeshi. His brows furrowed as he waited in the swell of the small crowd—each person curious to see how the confrontation would end. "You can't expect me to be okay with this. Katsumi already told me the truth."
Kagome pinched the bridge of her nose as she fought back a sigh, "Like I said, it's none of your business what my relationship to Souji is. You have no say in the matter. You are not my significant other and I have no intentions of being anything other than a vice captain to you." Ouch, well at least the guy had been warned well in advance. He always pushed his luck too far with his host and now it was biting him in the ass. Normally he'd smirk and enjoy the other male's torment a bit however today wasn't that day. He had other things he wanted to settle first. The young woman continued, "I don't expect you to do anything other than just accept that I'm not in a relationship with you. I never officially was and that's how it will stay. Now if you excuse me, I have things I need to do."
"You mean visit your fiancé?" His tone was sharp as his eyes narrowed into slits. "You could've at least told me the truth!"
She turned on the ball of her heel faster than he could blink. A bright rage burned furiously behind her eyes, "I told you it was none of your fucking business! Don't put the blame on me when you were the one pushing the fucking limits of my patience this whole time!" Her voice rose several pitches as she released a string of curses. His hands curled into fists as his mouth pressed into a line. This wasn't good. He had never heard Kagome use the language she was now. Takeshi must have pushed her beyond her breaking point. Instinctively his feet moved him forward as his hands left his pockets. He didn't know what to do or to say to help in this situation, but he knew that he had to do something.
"Is that what you thought I was? A bother?!" He yelled back, his chest bowing with frustration as he stepped closer to her.
"Yes!" The answer was quicker than either of them anticipated. However before Takeshi could react, Okita approached and silently slipped one of his arms around Kagome's front and the other about her waist. He pulled her to his chest gently as he held her loosely—giving the woman the impression that she was free to leave his grip at any moment.
"I was in the neighborhood." He softened his voice as he pressed his cheek against hers affectionately. "So I came by to pick you up. What do you say, ready to head home now?" In a normal situation he would've kissed her just to piss of Takeshi. However right now he felt that there was something more bothering her than just the male's normal antics. He didn't want to push her. Not when she was this upset. He couldn't quite put it into words but there was something clawing at him—a feeling of foreboding that he just couldn't shake.
Kagome brought her hands up to his forearm as she leaned further back in his embrace. The teen's expression relaxed somewhat as she took comfort in his surprising presence. A light smile touched his lips at that. The thought that she was drawing comfort from him like this made him content.
"Yeah, I'm ready. We'll pick Souta up on the way." Her tone was much softer this time as she took a breath to calm herself. "Let's head home." They didn't move for a long moment, both quietly basking in the mere presence of the other. It was as if being near her worked a soothing effect over his worries. He closed his eyes as a small smile spread across his lips. Then Takeshi's deceptively calm tone broke the silence that'd settled between them.
"So that's your decision?" Onyx eyes settled upon her tiny form fiercely. "Is this what you want?" He spat the word as if he couldn't fathom the idea.
Her eyes sharpened as she nodded fiercely, "Yes. I chose this." There was a meaning behind that word that Okita wasn't sure if he wanted to contemplate just yet. He felt her fingers curl tentatively around the sleeve of his shirt. "This is my decision." She leaned further into him as her voice grew firm. "I'm not backing out now." Silently, the ronin pinned the other man with an intense stare—daring him to make the next move.
"I understand." He turned on the ball of his heel before straightening his back. The teen paused as he thought over his next words, "I never wanted it to end this way." He cast a sideways glare in his general direction. "You hurt her and I'll fucking kill you."
Okita couldn't help the barbed remark that fell from his mouth afterwards, "You could try but I doubt you'd get very far." Takeshi didn't rise to his bait. Instead he turned his back to them completely before marching inside the building once more. Having sensed that the drama had now passed, the crowd resumed their usual chatter and splintered off. Kagome turned around in his grasp; coming face to face beneath the protective circle of his arms.
"Should I pick you up more often?" He smiled down at her as she wrapped her arms around his torso. Kagome didn't speak. She barely reacted other than to bury her face into the space above his heart. His brows furrowed as he tightened his arms around her. "What happened?" It'd be useless to ask 'what's wrong' as she'd deny anything being 'wrong' in the first place. It'd be easier to inquire on what exactly transpired up until his arrival. He'd be able to piece together his own answer afterwards.
"Sorry, I just got a bit stressed is all." She held him closer as he felt her burrow her face further into his chest. "Have a lot on my plate you know?" The young woman gave a small laugh as she tried to play off her problems. Okita lifted one of his hands and gently cupped her chin. With as much kindness as he could muster, he encouraged her to lift her eyes to meet his own. They were red and swollen as if she'd been crying at some point earlier in the day. Not only that but she'd gone pale. Damn it, she really was starting to get ill from the stress again, wasn't she?
"You don't have to hold back, you know. I won't judge you for it." He allowed his own smile to cross his lips. "Hell you've been taking care of my sick ass for three months now. I think the least I can do is return the favor." To emphasize his point, he pressed his lips against hers in the barest hint of a kiss. It was only meant to be a point of reassurance for her. However she threw herself into his chest and began to shake. She hid her face from any possible onlookers and shook her head.
"Sorry." She apologized once. "Sorry." She did it again.
He held her against him tightly, "What for? Nothing to be ashamed of. Besides how many times did I have a fit since you took me in?" He tucked her head under his chin affectionately, "It's okay. You don't have to hide it. Not from me." He didn't want her to either. To take on the burden of taking care of his health, of paying his bills, of finishing her school on top of all the crap Takeshi had likely been putting her through. Kagome had to have been on the verge of a break down for a while now. His heart clenched guiltily in his chest. He'd been partially at fault here. So he'd do what he could to rectify the situation. Above everything else though, the very fact that she felt the need to apologize for losing her temper was concerning for him. Her mother's words rang in his head. Violence and distrust. Those were the things Kagome had grown accustomed to on the other side of the well. He pulled her closer to his heart. He couldn't have that. Not after everything she'd done to help him.
Okita felt her hands tremble against his back as he heard her fight back tears. This went beyond regular stress. It was something much more deeply rooted in her psyche than that. Most likely a past trauma that had been brought up during his absence somehow. He raised one of his hands and gently moved it to massage the space behind her ear once more. He dipped his head and offered small words of comfort that he felt might help her through whatever turmoil she was facing right now. Whatever happened in the past still haunted her. She did a good job at hiding her troubles but now he knew for certain. Kagome wasn't as unaffected by the horrors of war and violence as he once thought. She was just a regular girl who'd done everything she could to move on with her life—by simply bottling it up until she couldn't handle it anymore.
The sickening feeling in his gut returned. How much had this woman suffered in such a quiet silence without saying a word until she was beyond her breaking point? How much had she tried to keep fighting but found herself overwhelmed by the stress of it all? He didn't want that for her. He didn't want her to go through the terrors of war a second time. The brutality in which is era was wrought with would only agitate these issues for her. A part of him, a strong and now permanently rooted section of his heart, desired nothing more than to simply take her with him—to forgo the consequences and do only as he wished. Yet another part, the stronger half wanted only to protect her, just as her mother had requested of him. He wanted to keep her from ever experiencing those terrifying ordeals a second time.
Youkai. The Shikon. War. From the short time that he'd known her, the ronin was certain that she hadn't deserved any of that fate. She'd always been kind and gentle; giving him everything he needed at the drop of a hat without so much as a single concern in regards to her own well being. She sacrificed her health, her time and a part of her warmth for him. In return he'd stolen from her some of the most intimate acts of affection one could bestow upon another. He'd nearly led her to ruin in his moment of desperation. That one second he'd lost control of himself and allowed his selfish desires to trample over this fragile heart—it was destroying him now to see her like this. Perhaps it was time he did something to help her for once and not just slake his misplaced lust on her.
It was that moment that Okita came to a stark realization. He loved this woman. As much as he denied it and tried to run from it, he knew that he could no longer turn his back on her. The way she clung to him and opened herself up to him—even if only just a bit, it made him content. He wouldn't claim that he was happy because there was nothing to celebrate in these tears. More than anything it just showed him how selfish he'd been, especially this morning. If he was to keep her by his side then he wanted her to choose that path for herself. Not because of some misguided sense of duty that she had for him. He wanted her to walk beside him of her own free will. He wouldn't force her. He wouldn't steal her. He'd earn her heart the right way—by doing whatever he could to support her. It was the least he could do.
Okita pressed a kiss to the Kagome's brow as she burrowed herself in his arms. He loved her. And because he loved her he would do whatever he could to protect her. Even if it meant protecting her from himself.
"Let's go home." Those words held more weight to them than he cared to admit to. Home. Soon they'd have to decide where that would be. He just hoped that when the three months came to their proper close; she would still be by his side, just as she had been from the beginning. The man took her hand as he began to lead her back to the shrine. Her slender fingers fell between the spaces of his larger one. Somehow, having her beside him felt natural—as if she'd always been there walking in step with him. A small smile spread across his lips. Tonight he'd hold her until she was calm. Tomorrow however he'd step up as his role as a provider. He'd support her in the same way she'd done for him. It wasn't out of a sense of honor or duty this time. It was merely because he wished to. His hand curled over hers a little bit tighter. Regardless of how their future would play out he'd protect her. That was all there was to it.
A/n: Soooo, what'd you guys think of that one? This is actually the first chapter that things will split between here and AO3. Thus far there's only about a one paragraph difference but if you want to see the fully explicit version then you can head over to AO3 to read the difference for yourself. Mostly I'm just trying to stay within the M Rating guideline of FFN's TOS policy. Just sucks though because I certainly had fun writing out a few points. What do you guys think? Have I tortured Okita enough? I do plan on a few surprises for the next chapter so there's that! Btw you guys are all AMAZING! Just wanted to tell you that. ;P