I didn't end up returning home until Harry arrived back in London. I met my father at King's Cross and felt awkward for the first time ever standing beside the man who raised me. The bustling of muggle London and the anticipation from waiting parents hardly provided any sort of distraction for my father and I. I knew I wasn't making it easy on him and life was rarely easy for my father. I felt guilty over time, wanting things to go back to the way they were. But I didn't know how that was possible when I had already been used as a pawn of war and lost too much to go back to being just a doting daughter.
I timed my arrival with the reliable punctuality of the Hogwarts Express and was not disappointed when I saw the red steam engine pull up just as I located my father on the busy platform.
"Marnie!" my father's greeting was equal parts surprise and relief, causing me to pause as he enveloped me in an embrace that reminded me of my first trip to Hogwarts.
I could tell my father had missed me but had given me the space I needed as a selfless person he always was. Maybe another parent would have hesitated with the awkwardness of the situation, but our family never had the luxury of abiding by social patterns if it meant not forgiving each other and moving on during a time where time was never guaranteed. Spotting Harry over my father's shoulder reminded me that this was all that was left of our family, save Remus who was scarce these days.
"Oh, Harry!" my father caught a glance of him from our embrace, having probably sensed his arrival despite all of the other people around us.
My father let go only to embrace Harry with just as much fervour. Looking over my father's shoulder now was Harry, and with one look of understanding we knew no one was angry anymore. It wasn't a secret either that Harry and I tended to push people away when we needed them most, but it was also something my father was accustomed to. He would give us the space we wanted but then whenever he sensed a waver in our stubbornness, he made his move to close the gap and pretended as if it was never there in the first place. Maybe to my father it never really was, he just always pretended so to let us sort it out for ourselves.
"It is so good to have you home, Harry. Let's get your trunk and we'll go find the Weasley's. We're staying at The Burrow for the holidays and Molly said we should all leave the train station together," my father explained cheerfully.
Again Harry and I were at a loss for words and shared another look that said neither one of us knew of this plan previous but that it was apparent my father was more than excited about the prospect.
I couldn't actually help thinking that Sirius had acted in a similar manner last Christmas, excited to have everyone under one roof like a big, pieced-together family. But again I supposed that was what we were, the Weasley's had taken us in as part of the family years ago and I was more than agreeable to spend Harry's vacation with the red-headed clan.
"And what are the sleeping arrangements?" Harry finally spoke and it took me a moment to realise why he wanted to know this particular piece of information.
I shoved him affectionately while my father bent over to collect Harry's trunk, refusing for Harry to do it himself since my father had always carried Harry's or my trunk from the train station. He missed our sibling faux-aggression and went on to answer Harry's question.
"Same as always, I will be in Charlie's old room since Bill is back with Fleur for the holidays. Marnie and Fleur will be with Ginny and you will be up in the attic with Ron," dad replied, this somehow making him smile even wider.
Harry smirked at me and I was tempted to thwart him again but dad would surely notice and I didn't want to have to explain how much I really didn't want to see Fleur or acknowledge to my father or Harry that I did spend most of my nights sharing a bed with Fred like Harry obviously was insinuating.
Neither Harry nor I wanted to spoil my father's mood so we also decided not to talk about anything Voldemort related until we found a quiet moment at The Burrow, not that that would be an easy feat. But it was nice for the three of us to be like nothing else in the world mattered except for coming together as a family.
Harry and I received a similar welcome from Mrs. Weasley who embraced us like her own and then led all of us out until we could apparate. Mad-Eye and Tonks were waiting outside the station to help apparate everyone to The Burrow to avoid anyone waiting for me or Mrs. Weasley to escort them since Harry, Ron and Ginny were all still underage.
I followed Ginny up to the house since we had apparated together and was pleasantly surprised when Fred opened the door and welcomed us in.
"Hey, love," Fred smiled and stole a kiss on my cheek that Ginny didn't miss and smirked at.
I couldn't help thinking how similar her and Harry were in regard to their reactions on my life, but then I knew from her letters that she was currently dating Dean Thomas. I didn't know much about Harry's dormmate but Ginny had vented in a few of her letters to leave me thinking that maybe they didn't make the best couple.
"Marnie!" Ron surprisingly called out once we were all inside and herded into the living room to get ourselves organised.
He quickly yet clumsily hugged me which was further made awkward since Fred hadn't let go of my hand yet.
"So, uh, Marnie. I wanted to tell you that I actually have a girlfriend now," Fred's hand tightened around mine and I finally had to shake him off to give him a rueful look and give Ron a proper embrace since I hadn't seen him in half a year.
"Tread very carefully, little brother," Fred was obviously feeling defensive but I just smiled at Ron.
"That's really great, Ron, good for you. I'm sure she's lovely," I said but looked over his shoulder to see Ginny scowl.
I wondered what had happened to make her look so bitter at her brother. I didn't give a sideways glance to Harry this time because I knew that even if he did know what was going on that he wouldn't tell me where it concerned his best friend and the woman I was pretty convinced he had very strong feelings for.
I decided instead to let Ginny lead me into the kitchen where she declared she needed something to drink. My eyebrows rose alarmingly though when Ginny went brazenly into the cupboard and rooted around until she pulled out a bottle of fire whisky and continued to put a generous portion into each of our glasses before mixing it with some Christmas ginger beer that was supposed to be meant for the guests.
"Ron is such a hypocrite, telling everyone with ears that he has a girlfriend to snog. Everyone knows he followed Phlegm around waiting for her to kiss his cheek and stole glances at you every chance he got! Fred even figured it out, I'm surprised he hasn't snapped at Ron more than he has," Ginny's anger flared more wildly before she took a large gulp of the whisky and then set the tumbler onto the counter with a clang.
I was interrupted from giving any sort of coherent response when Harry and Ron came in, Ron muttering about being put on peeling duty.
"Marnie, thank Merlin! Can you dice all of the veggies with a peeling charm for us?" Ron's eyes lit up but I was unable to answer again when Ginny scowled once more at her brother before she dragged me out.
We crossed paths with the twins on their way into the kitchen and I knew it was only going to end poorly based on the mischievous looks on both of their faces. They were obviously in a provoking sort of mood.
"And where are you two going, then?" Ginny was obviously still in a foul temper and sounded a lot like her mother questioning the twins.
"There is a pretty girl down in the village who wanted us to show her our card trick again," George mused and again I was speechless.
I knew they were joking, or at least that it didn't mean anything. But I also didn't like the feeling rising up inside of me that wanted to voice my answer as an unrelenting no and to forbid them from going out. But Ginny beat me again to the punch.
"You better not be cheating on Angelina! I know you are too thick to admit to her that you have feelings, but don't think that you are free to go around talking to any girl you want for attention! And you—" Ginny pointed an angry finger at Fred, jabbing it roughly against his chest. "Marnie is way too good for you and the best thing that will ever happen to you, so don't you dare ruin it by being a prat!"
Ginny gave one last glare before storming off into the living room and presumably up the stairs since I heard them creak moments later under her scornful stomping. I sighed, knowing I was meant to follow sooner rather than later, but I loathed to think how Ginny's mood would turn once her mother told her we were also to be sharing a room with Fleur.
"Hare, I—" Fred interrupted my dreadful thoughts and I realized George had disappeared through the swinging door into the kitchen.
I wanted to argue and yell, or at least give some sort of snide remark. But then I realized that they had probably just been trying to egg on Ginny and that I trusted Fred completely.
So instead I stepped forward and kissed his shocked lips until they contorted around mine. I could hear the boys in the kitchen having a heated conversation and that it sounded like Mrs. Weasley was moving towards us from the living room so I broke apart before our stolen tryst was found out.
"Merlin I love you," Fred exclaimed in a breathy whisper.
I smirked back just as Mrs. Weasley passed by us, looking a little put off. Lately, even though I hadn't been around as much, I knew that expression meant that she was thinking of Percy and how that git of a man didn't even have the decency to show up for Christmas. She didn't even say a word until she entered the kitchen and then yelled at Ron with something to do with throwing knives.
My eyes widened but Fred leaned in to whisper in my ear, completely distracting me from whatever was going on in the kitchen; most likely George spurring Ron on.
"I'm off to buy your Christmas present since I saw it in a store window the other day but I was much too busy to stop and get it. And never worry about me, I only have eyes for you, love," Fred kissed my cheek as he lifted his head back up and then winked before heading into the kitchen after his brother.
I stood there for a moment before deciding that Ginny was in the most need of my company and then headed up towards her bedroom.
By the time I reached Ginny, she had decidedly cooled down and we spent the afternoon catching up on the going's on at Hogwarts. I got a better picture of Professor Slughorn since Ginny was also a part of the Slug Club, as well as the reality of Snape teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts.
At the sound of Remus greeting everyone downstairs, Ginny and I decided to head downstairs to sit with everyone else. I embraced Remus, and just like with my father, everything was forgiven. He looked much too thin and I worried what the mission had done for his health but no one brought up the Order right away. It was nice to just spend time with my family and talk like we weren't all a part of a secret organization that went up against both Voldemort and the sanctions of the Ministry.
Fred and George returned just before dinner with their arms full of parcels and bags. Fred winked at me before the two of them went upstairs to deposit their presents and get washed up for dinner. Fleur and Bill were the last ones to arrive and I watched as Ginny's expression turned murderous again once she clued in that we would be having another roommate for the holiday.
I embraced Bill like an older brother and then Fleur with a little more hesitation. Any reminder of that tournament was difficult, but she only smiled and moved along with the rest of her greetings.
When Mrs. Weasley finally announced dinner, the lot of us piled into the dining room. I ended up sitting in between the twins who grabbed onto me in the living room and didn't let go until we were in our seats. I gave them each a rueful smile but ended up smiling for real since it was Christmas and it was nice to be reminded in such a small way how much the twins obviously cared about me.
Dinner was delicious and as boisterous as ever with people trying to have conversations around the cluttered table. But it wasn't until after dinner when I volunteered to help clean up that I had a moment alone with Harry who willingly dried all of the dishes by hand.
"So, what did Remus and the others say about your Snape theory?" I asked him, having briefly overheard their conversation in the den before we had all been called for dinner.
Harry shook his head and gave an irritated sigh. "They all think that we should put our faith in him since Dumbledore trusts him. But I know what I heard Marnie. He's helping Draco with some sort of scheme," Harry applied a little more force into drying the plate in his hands before he set it down with a clatter on top of the pile.
I smiled but knew he saw my own doubt before I even said anything. "I believe you, Harry, so please don't think that I don't. I just know Snape was the one who saved me at Malfoy Manor. I know what Mr. Weasley and the others have told me, that they think it was one of my delusions since they never saw Snape themselves. But my delusions were always positive. I always saw the people who keep me safe and Snape was never one of those people. He stirred me out of my thoughts and led me out of the dungeon so the others would find me. And it's not like I could have gotten out of the cell myself or I would have done it before the raid," I voiced my thoughts that Harry had already known through my letters.
"I believe you, too, Marnie," Harry sighed and placed the next plate down more carefully before he turned to look at me. "It just doesn't make sense. Why would Snape help you if he's now helping Draco? Draco was in the Manor the entire time you were locked up there so there is no doubt he's in league with them. And I'm sure he has the mark on his arm now, so he can't be planning anything good. And he is planning something, I know it," Harry picked up another plate and we both pondered the dilemma as we finished the chores.
"It's good to have you home. It's good to have someone believe me and not worry so blatantly at the same time," I said when we were finally done.
Harry looked at me more seriously and smiled, a true smile that I realized I hadn't seen in ages.
"It's good to be back with everyone," Harry nodded before we decided to rejoin the others.
Everyone was full and sated, deciding to call it an early night since everyone was tired from travelling and settling in.
I waited until most everyone had gone upstairs before I decided that the bathroom would be available to clean up and get ready for bed. Once I was finished though, I was startled when I heard someone speak from the landing above.
"Have a good talk with Harry?" Fred surprised me since I had thought he and George had gone to bed an hour ago.
I nodded, knowing there were several people sleeping all along the staircase in the bedrooms that stemmed off from it. Fred nodded knowingly before he grabbed my hand and led me downstairs until we got to the kitchen. The door closed behind us and I realized that this was probably the only room in the house that offered enough privacy to be able to talk without disrupting anyone while they slept.
Fred moved to the kettle and flicked his wand to start boiling the water for tea.
"Everyone's noticing how happy you are," Fred smiled but I frowned when I noticed it didn't reach his eyes.
He busied himself putting together the two cups but I scowled at the back of his head.
"Oh, and you preferred when I acted more like The Girl Who Almost Went Mad?" I asked, trying to keep my voice hushed without letting my frustration raise my volume.
Fred whipped his head around, thankfully not holding the cups yet since the tea for sure would have burned him from the speed of his movements.
"NO! Of course not, Hare! Merlin, how could you even think I would mean it like that. Of course I am thrilled you're getting better, and not at all surprised. You're too strong and good and determined to let the Death Eaters win against you," Fred's bold and quick answer shocked me, leaving me to sink back down into the stool at the counter.
"Then what did you mean by it? I can see it in your eyes that there's something bothering you," I waited, accepting the cup like it was Fred's apology before he leaned up against the counter opposite me with his elbows resting on the well-worn wood from the thousands of meals Mrs. Weasley had prepared here.
"I just wish I had something to do with it," Fred whispered bashfully, startling me again with his surprisingly honesty, or the truth as he saw it.
I vehemently disagreed, crediting Fred with a large portion of my recovery since he was always by my side, pushing through my defenses until I didn't have the energy to put them up anymore. But Fred spoke again before I could strongly object.
"I just mean that I wish we could be two normal people in love. I wish I could bring you out in public without worrying if we're being followed or if something will happen. I wish I could bring you on a proper date and give you the relationship you deserve—" Fred paused when I reached across the counter and squeezed his hand.
His expression was frustrated and a lot more melancholy than I was expecting.
"Tell me what we would do," I whispered encouragingly and stared at Fred, marveling at just how much of a softer side he really had.
But then again, besides George in dire circumstances, I figured I was the only one who ever got to see it.
"I would bring you out to London, I've never been able to afford anything fancy so I would spoil you. We would eat lobster or steak or any meal you like and not have to worry about the cost. We would drink champagne and then I would bring you out dancing," Fred's face lit up but I couldn't help interrupting.
"But I didn't think you liked dancing," I speculated, thinking he hadn't been very keen when McGonagall had taught us all to dance for the Yule Ball.
But then again, I hadn't been speaking to Fred at that point and had watched him with annoyance while Fred foiled George's chances of asking Angelina. Truthfully, I didn't really know how Fred felt about dancing since George was the only one of my friends I had danced with that night.
"I am a great dancer, I will have you know, and the idiot I am passed up on the opportunity to dance with the girl I really wanted to on the night of the Yule Ball. I've never stopped regretting not swallowing my pride and stealing a dance with you that night. I know George did, which makes me feel all the more guilty that I didn't make up with you that very night, just to dance with you and twirl you around in that sapphire dress you were wearing," Fred's recollection of that night was almost picture perfect and I was surprised again with just how much thought Fred had obviously put into this idea.
"And I know you were with Cedric that night and I wouldn't have meant for it to be more, but I was too selfish for it not to have been more than platonic that I brushed you off until much too late," Fred's tone dipped again and I squeezed his hands through the clench in my stomach that wasn't nearly as painful as it once was to be reminded of Cedric, especially in such a wonderful memory I had of him.
But this was Fred, and what he was saying swept all of my pain away as I drew my attention back to dancing with Fred somewhere that wasn't the Yule Ball, in a new memory that would be just ours to hold.
Fred walked me to Ginny's room later on, once we were done our teas and Fred had laid out an entire, fantastical night that he promised he would give to me once the war was over. We both stopped at the bedroom door and I sighed to think that I would have to navigate my way to Ginny's bed that I was sharing with her while avoiding tripping over Fleur's cot.
"Kiss me like you're leaving me on my doorstep at the end of a date," I whispered and if it weren't for the pin drop silence of the house I didn't think Fred would have heard me.
In reply Fred grabbed my shoulders with his hands to pull me into his chest. Once I was pressed up against him, one of his hands moved so that it clasped under my chin and moved it upwards until I was looking into his face. His lips found mine in the dark and all I could think of was how perfect Fred could make a moment that hadn't actually happened. But I could believe in that moment that we had spent the evening fine dining and being swept off our feet on a dance floor where we spent the entire night in each other's arms.
His lips were urgent and a little chapped from the winter cold, catching me in an embrace where I could no longer acknowledge the reality around us. For someone who had been through so much, Fred had the capacity to erase it all away with his energy and loyalty towards me.
When I finally pulled back, I had to steady my breathing since I was afraid it was loud enough to wake someone up. And with my father, brother and several other family friends in the house, I did not want to become the gossip of the holidays.
"Goodnight, love," Fred kissed the top of my shoulder which had become loosely exposed from my oversized sweater from where Fred grabbed me into our embrace.
It was such an intimate gesture and I watched on as Fred smiled and then disappeared up the stairs towards his room with George, where Bill was also staying crammed into the house.