Years alive, 3; Days on Konoha's outskirts, 4
Maruchi had her first kill when she was nine.
Not much can be remembered from that day, but she knew the horrible anger she felt, the vicious glee that sprung into her veins as she tore through the bandits that attacked her caravan.
It was much more subtle than what she had done recently, more like a gleeful tingle in the bottom of her spine, something that didn't concern her much, and Maruchi had brushed off the feeling as simple adrenalin.
She was foolish.
Maruchi knew that something had changed when she had died again in this world, sort of a reawakening. There was a presence at the back of her head, one that kept whispering bitter, evil, things to her in the night.
Things that were driven away by the constant presence of Gai. When the boy left though, it was fair game for whatever was in her head.
We could kill them all and they wouldn't even know… The thought whispered suggestively in her head.
"And why would I do that when I'm trying to get into their Village," Maruchi replied calmly, eyes focused on the book Minato gave her to pass time.
But why not? They mistrusted us in the beginning when we killed all of those enemy ninjas. The only one that is of any worth is the green one.
Sighing, Maruchi slipped her book closed, before hopping out of bed and walking towards the bathroom tucked away in the corner.
Leaning on the rim of the sink the girl stared at her reflection.
Locking golden eyes of a replica Maruchi spoke. "I have a dream." She began, hands gripping the basin tighter. "One that I will complete with or without your presence."
There was an echoing snarl in her head, one that reverberated in her skull. You can't live without me. I am you. The dark little thoughts that will haunt you for the rest of your life!
That silenced Maruchi a contemplative frown marring her normally smooth features.
Without replying the girl splashed some water on her face and went back to the bed.
Pulling out the book she continued to read, ignoring the presence in her mind.
She'd dealt with things like this before in the before, she was sure she could deal with it now.
Hopefully.
Years alive, 1
"What's this I hear from Hani?" a curious voice broke Maruchi from her calligraphy lesson.
Peering up at the man through her lashes, Maruchi gave the man a bemused expression. "Pardon?"
Sanshin sighed tiredly, before plopping himself down on the ground beside the girl.
"The fact that you've been staring at that contract scroll for the past few weeks and haven't done anything with it?"
Maruchi ducked her head in shame for being found out.
Sanshin chuffed the girl on the back of the head gently. "C'mon what's wrong? You're normally all for trying new things."
She didn't reply, for she didn't know exactly why either.
At first, she simply thought she was nervous about the thought of summoning mythical creatures from another world.
Then she thought that maybe it was because she was too young for such responsibility.
But no… it was something much simpler, yet harder all the same.
In her mind, it just wasn't possible.
Yes, that was the reason.
Summoning something from another world just didn't make sense to her and Maruchi was worried about the repercussions on her mind if she saw something that could not be fully explained.
It would ruin her reality, her own set of rules that she placed in this world and in the Before.
Chakra could be explained as a living energy that humans had access to in this world.
But summoning was a whole other pool of impossible that the girl didn't want to get into.
A hand patting the top of her head brought Maruchi out of her stupor.
Blinking two disturbing golden eyes up at her father she gave him a small smile.
Sanshin sighed before ruffling her dark locks. "C'mon," he beckoned, standing up and making his way to the tent entrance. "I'll help you out with this."
Maruchi sat there stupidly for what seemed like an eternity before a grin formed on her ashen face.
Bouncing up she quickly skipped behind her father, not before she snagged the contract though.
Intertwining her small fingers around a few of Sanshin's own Maruchi let out an excited hum.
No matter the consequences to her mental state, she felt something she had thought she would never even feel in either of her lives.
Security.
Because no matter what happened to her she had someone to look out for her.
And that was enough for Maruchi.
Years alive 3; days on the outskirts of Konoha, 20
Smoke billowed into the sky, stinging the back of Maruchi's throat.
Coughing harshly the girl twisted around the enemy Ninja's tanto, making sure to fling a few shurikens in their direction.
Jerking to the side the Kirinin snarled before coming at the girl again with a forward thrust of their blade.
Hissing slightly at the new cut Maruchi gained from the enemy, she decided to end this fight and regroup with the medic-nin on the other side of the field.
As the Kirinin came at her again in a downward slash, Maruchi moulded her chakra without hand seals and slammed it into the ninja's brain, dodging the attack simultaneously.
It was a simple Genjutsu but devastating in the heat of battle, which is why Maruchi practised tirelessly to accomplish it without hand seals.
It switched the victims view with right and left.
So, with a heavy frown, Maruchi encased her kunai with wind and slashed at the exposed left side of the Kiri-nin.
They tried to block the attack but found themselves deflecting the right side of their body instead of their left.
Maruchi's kunai sliced cleanly through the ribs of the ninja and right into their heart.
They died before they even hit the ground.
Without wasting a breath, the girl shunshined to the medical tent, where she promptly fell face-first into the ground, chakra exhaustion and her wounds catching up with her.
Maruchi guessed fighting for seven consecutive hours in a child body was not very smart.
She'd have to be careful in the future.
With that last thought, the girl passed out with the soothing feeling of foreign chakra mingling with her own.
Years alive 3
Blood.
There was so much blood.
Maruchi gagged, her hands shakily pressing against Sanshin's side.
She desperately tried to ignore the mangled body of her mother, who was nothing, but a blob of flesh and blood-smeared against a tree,
"O-Otousan…?" the girl whispered as she stared up at her fathers once healthy coloured face, now marred with cuts, bruises and ghostly white.
Still despite everything the man smiled.
"Maru—" a spluttering cough, "—chi… yo-you need to go and…" a ragged breath. "Help the other…others…"
Maruchi didn't reply, she just applied more pressure to the oozing wound.
"N-no, I won't, I won't leave you." She argued distantly, her mind completely blank yet running at a hundred miles a minute.
A calloused hand pressed against her head, and Maruchi closed her eyes, savouring the affection she took for granted.
"Maruchi, look at me…please…"
Not able to resist his plea, two golden eyes locked onto an electric blue.
Smiling, one last time, the man (wasted) used his last breath to tell his (selfish) wonderful daughter the words she desperately wanted (needed) hear.
"Stay strong, for your… mother and I…We love you." Sanshin grinned, blood oozing out of the corner of his mouth before he let out his last breath—and—and—
Died.
Maruchi sat there like an idiot, not moving, ignoring the screams of her caravan as they were attacked by bandits.
When the first tear trailed down her cheek did something deep in the girl snap.
Like a haze had been lifted off her mind, everything slotted together painfully.
Staring into two dead blue eyes.
Maruchi screamed.
And, right then and there, nothing mattered anymore.
With a vengeful twist of her lips, the girl spun around and ran to the area she sensed the foreign chakra systems.
A wet coppery tang hit the back of her mouth and Maruchi felt a snarl build up in her throat.
So, with bloody hands and a broken heart, the girl jumped down into the fray and killed every single one of those heartless bastards.
When she was done, just standing there on top of a pile of corpses, Maruchi felt, nothing…
Her eyes were dry, and her heart was twisted in knots.
Looking up into the starry sky, Maruchi, despite everything, smiled.
Because she made a promise, to be strong, and no matter what she felt or thought, she was not going to fall prey to the emptiness in her heart nor the sorrow.
She wasn't—she wasn't going to…
If anyone saw the tears stream down her face in the orange flames, no one said anything.
It someone heard the muffled scream she howled into the night; they didn't comment.
Because through it all Maruchi kept that cursed smile on her face.
Maybe one day she'd feel like it belonged there.
?
She remembers little of her real mother.
She knows the one that calls herself her mother isn't her real one.
Because that woman makes sure to tell her every chance, she gets that she was abandoned by the whore.
She doesn't listen. For what she can recall of her mother she holds onto it with a selfish heart.
Because those memories are sad and melancholy, yet they hold such a deep-rooted joy in the fact that she is alive.
Imagine that, someone is happy that she is alive.
The knife that carved into her skin stained the nice dress, she had chosen to go out with today, with dark clotting blood.
She didn't cry or react, but she felt a bit vindictive at the butcher.
With a heavy heart, the man told the woman behind her that she could come back later when he had gotten his knew cleaver.
"We can try and cut one of its fingers off and see if it reacts."
The woman nodded and with a strained smile, pulled the small child by her hand out of the shop.
There was no conversation between the two, but she felt the underlying tension as clear as day.
With a small sigh, the girl resigned herself to the fact her nice dress wouldn't be so nice anymore when she got home.
But she would survive, then she would personally kill every single person in this village.
She swore in the deep recesses of her heart.
And that thought was enough to bring a twisted smile to her face.