The next month was equal parts tedious and precarious. The Ministry had fallen, but it was more suspicious to stop going to work than it would be to go into hiding right away. Even when everyone who wasn't a pureblood had to go through trials to verify their lineage, I still dutifully went in to work.
I knew it made my father sick with worry and Fred was livid, but there was no denying that I was a half blood even if the world had never been kind to my father. So far I hadn't received his or my own summons and as long as that didn't happen, I kept up my work and tracked as the magical creatures became just as part of the war as the wizards.
I hardly ever saw the twins anymore but I knew they still had the store open so long as they weren't hunted down for being blood traitors. Remus spent most of his time living with the Tonks' which meant that my nights were spent in stiff fear with my father who once again had to wait out a war he couldn't fight in.
By the time I got home one night, apparating from a more desolate street in London, my father already had dinner prepared. I could see the wracked fear in his features that never completely went away anymore, especially since I never worked on a consistent schedule. It was normal for me to stay late, waiting to see if Kingsley Shacklebolt or Mr. Weasley were able to pass along any messages from the Order. Since the passing of Dumbledore and the disappearance of Harry and the others, the Order was mostly at a stand still, waiting to see how to proceed once we knew more about what was going on.
"Are you going to Lee's tonight?" dad asked as casually as he could manage once I was inside and taking off my travelling cloak at the door.
Potterwatch was something Lee had come up with, an underground radio show that the Order members used to try to get their messages out to the masses. It was really the only time I was able to see my friends anymore or even Fred. It was also used to report of all the missing and confirmed murdered casualties of the war whose numbers had been staggeringly increasing over the last month. Alicia's family was already in hiding and Angelina was no longer playing quidditch. Things rapidly changed on a daily basis and this was Lee's contribution to the resistance effort.
"I'm actually heading there shortly, I just wanted to stop off here first," I replied, walking into the kitchen to sit beside my father at the kitchen table.
I didn't know how long the plates had been out, long enough however that I needed a rewarming spell after taking the first bite.
My father didn't say anything about the late hour but I still knew something was troubling him, more than his normal anxiety anyway.
"Remus stopped by today," my father started carefully while he eyed his food instead of meeting my queried gaze.
Since Remus and my father were still good friends, his reluctance to meet my eye was unsettling.
"Is Tonks alright?" I asked, thinking that if something happened to his new wife that that would definitely merit Remus coming out of hiding.
"Oh yes, Nymphadora is quite alright. She actually has some pretty special news. She is expecting a baby in the spring," my father finally met my stare with a kind smile.
Even though married couples expecting a baby was certainly considered normal, it took me a minute to contemplate what my father had just told me and to decide that this was in fact good news.
"Wow, that's amazing. Remus must be in higher spirits about becoming a father," I beamed, thinking that Remus would be a wonderful father since he had been so close to me growing up.
On the flip side, it was almost impossible to imagine a new generation of witches and wizards being born into this world just as I was decidedly no longer a child or student.
Watching my father's expression, his happiness for the baby faded and once again I was concerned for Remus' and Tonks' wellbeing.
"Remus spoke with Harry recently," my father spoke again with a heavy sadness; this definitely was not the answer I had been expecting.
No one knew where Harry was, although we definitely all had our own speculations on the matter. How Remus had tracked him down was impressive, but what had me more concerned was why Remus had sought out Harry in the first place. No one was really okay with Harry venturing off on his own with just Hermione and Ron, but the Order had decided to keep their faith in Dumbledore on this matter for better or worse. I felt it came down between me and my father who liked the decision the least, but I still hadn't gone rogue to go look for him, even if it was tempting.
"He offered to join Harry," the anger that set in my father's shoulders was unsettlingly foreign, especially considering who he was talking about. My father and Remus had been friends for years, and even though he was worried about Harry, I knew he wasn't angry with him. If anything, my father was proud of Harry for the weight that he carried and only hoped for Harry to come home safe to us.
"And Harry turned him away?" I guessed, watching my father's grip over his mug tighten.
It was such a common thing to observe my father doing, the two of us sitting over a meal with him holding his tea mug in both hands. But the obvious frustration was not a part of this nostalgic scene that made me uncomfortable to say the least. What had Remus done that bothered my father so much? We would all be glad if Remus went along to watch out for Harry and the others and he was certainly capable.
"I can't accept that he tried to do that!" my father's shout rendered the air tense between us. I held in my next breath, watching my father set his mug firmly down onto the table. "He watched me raise you after your mother was hospitalised. He was the one who always stayed around to make sure I didn't lose my grip. I love you so much, Marnie, but being the two of us was not always easy and Remus made sure to keep us steady. The fact that he came here, trying to explain away the fact that he was going to abandon Nymphadora and that child, even if it was for Harry. I can't forgive that!"
My food remained untouched while I continued to soundlessly gape at my father. It hadn't occurred to me that if Remus were to join up with Harry and the others that he would be actively leaving Tonks behind. It also came admittedly close to my father saying that Harry was on a mission that was very likely to be dangerous enough that Remus would not return, or at least not in the foreseeable future to witness the birth of his baby. That unsettled my stomach beyond the point of eating.
"Was Harry alright?" I asked, deciding not to weigh in on Remus's actions.
I didn't like the idea of Remus abandoning his unborn child, but I also wasn't personally attacked by the idea like my father appeared to be. Each of us was trying to navigate the current situation the best we could and some decisions were only less dangerous than others. But I was still curious for any news of Harry.
"Remus was angry with him since it seems like Harry sent him away only after hearing about the pregnancy. I feel like Harry was only trying to ensure that Remus stayed with his family, but I don't think Remus sees it that way yet. He will come around, but I don't think he's dealing with everything very well," this admission lessened my father's anger, causing him to sink into a more contemplative silence before he sighed.
I only nodded, picking up my fork again but only to move the food around on my plate for something to do rather than to eat it.
When the clock over the mantle indicated that it was already eight o'clock, I slowly slid back my chair and rose without actually eating anything. My father looked up at me but didn't say anything else before I excused myself to head over to Lee's. My father was distraught but more having to do with Remus and Harry and, miserably, there was nothing I could do for him right now. Heading over to participate in Potterwatch felt much more useful than hashing out my own frustrations in a silent house.
Without another word between us I exited the cottage and disapparated once I was outside the wards. Lee was operating out of his parents tool shed in the back of a country lot in the valley. I hurried up to the exterior building once I arrived since it was chilly and it didn't bode well to be alone in such an isolated place for long.
By the time I knocked on the wooden door and was invited into the larger than normal outbuilding due to the extension charms the twins used from helping rebuild The Burrow, I noticed I was the last to arrive.
It also wasn't long to get a read on the room that something was very wrong. Fred instantly felt my apprehension as I quickly crossed the room to ask what was wrong in greeting.
He didn't even embrace me, instead handing me the report that Lee was going to read on tonight's broadcast.
"This can't be right!" I shouted, reading over the headline story.
No one else said anything, all of them worried in their own right and obviously already having read the story. I felt my legs wavering to give out but Fred brought me into his arms before I could collapse onto the floor.
Lee, George, Angelina and Katie all looked sick, Alicia being the only one who wasn't able to be here tonight.
The headline read that the Hogwarts Express had been raided on its way to the school and out of everything that could have happened, the Death Eaters had kidnapped Luna. I hadn't been able to get in touch with her recently, not even catching up at Bill and Fleur's wedding. Reminiscently, I missed those faraway days of our childhood where Luna had once been my only friend. She was strong, that was undeniable, but the sickening feeling in my stomach kept rising until I pried myself out of Fred's grip to go throw up in the lavatory down the hall. I knew exactly where Luna would be and the Order was already defenseless to manage another raid on Malfoy Manor.
The knocking on the door sounded before I even got all the contents up from my stomach. I expected it to be Fred, but the hands that pulled back my hair were much softer but still just as familiar.
Angelina used her other hand to rub my back but remained silent even though Angelina was usually the one to say something in every situation. It was something I always found comforting, but the fact that she was silent now only sent another wrack of dry heaves through my body.
One of the only things that had gotten me this far in my recovery was the ignorant belief that I would be the only one to be at the mercy of that psychopath in that dungeon. It almost felt like a legacy, to be put through the same torture as my mother. Luna didn't deserve such a fate and even if she was strong enough to overcome whatever treatment she was about to receive, how long would it be until she was rescued.
"Come on, Marnie. Do you still want sit in on this one?" Angelina's question was soft and understanding for whatever decision I chose.
I simply nodded, taking her hand to stand up and then took a moment after she left to clean up. If I wasn't so strung out then maybe I would have felt embarrassed, but everyone here had too much understanding to ever judge me. Even Lee didn't offer his usual quip when I re-entered the room that was set up with the necessary magical equipment for the broadcast.
I took my seat beside Fred, at the end of the panel table, who squeezed my hand tightly, grounding me further and away from the dungeon that I could hear myself screaming in inside my head. But my determination and being surrounded by my friends helped to take off the edge that physically being sick had not. Everyone went quiet when Lee counted down on his fingers before the light went red on the mic.
"This is Potterwatch and I'm your host, River," Lee started the commentary like he normally did. "I'm here with Ring, Arrow, Rodent, Rapier and Rabbit. We have a breaking report tonight regarding the Hogwarts Express. For all you parents out there who just sent their children off to school, we have confirmation that the Death Eaters raided the train earlier today and kidnapped one of the students, Luna Lovegood."
Lee paused a moment as if to let that sink in, or to swallow down his own frustration before continuing. There wasn't much more to report however after that before Lee announced his deliberate pause to honour the deaths not reported by the Daily Prophet or the Wizarding Wireless Network News. The list was thankfully short today, but it didn't sting any less.
Kingsley wasn't here tonight to give his updates on the 'new Wizarding Order' but Katie had some notes relayed from him which she reported in his absence. Lee introduced her as Ring and held her hand while she spoke about the Ministry news. Again, it was nothing out of the usual, just affirming that corruption continued to work its way throughout the blood trials.
Next was the segment called Pals of Potter, which was typically reported by Remus, but it wasn't surprising that he wasn't here right now either. Arrow, otherwise known as Angelina, gave the report in his stead and talked about Luna and how she had been strong enough in the past to face off against the Chief Death Eater as Lee had dubbed Voldemort, and how she had the ability to survive at the Department of Secrets.
I felt my palms start to sweat before I tucked them into my lap. Fred's own hand found mine instinctually and he obviously didn't care about the perspiration. I let myself focus on his hand instead and tried to believe in Angelina's faith that Luna would survive being the Death Eaters' prisoner.
Next, the twins, Rodent and Rapier, began their report speculating exactly what we knew about the current actions of the Chief Death Eater. My nausea stayed consistent the entire way through, my mind painfully trying to latch onto the sound of Fred's voice instead of listening to the words he spoke.
By the time we got to the end of the table, I wished I had spoken right after Lee. Fred squeezed my hand to indicate that him and George were wrapping up and that it would be my turn to speak next.
I cleared my throat over the microphone when the one in front of me turned on, a red light indicating that I was live.
"Hello everyone, Rabbit here. It's time for a weather report. Lightning has been spotted in London, however the exact location is unknown. This report comes from Romulus who couldn't make the broadcast tonight, but it tells us that the storm is still brewing and we will keep everyone posted for the next strike," I nodded at Lee to show that I was done and he switched over the microphones to finish off the broadcast himself.
After it cut off, everyone exhaled audibly, feeling the brevity of tonight's report. There was nothing really to discuss however and since it was already dark out, no one wanted to idle.
"That's good about Harry, I didn't know Remus had seen him," Fred said while the others packed up to head home.
I smiled but it felt forced, something I knew Fred could tell but he didn't say anything about it. Maybe he recognised that it was all I could handle right now.
"I just found out before I arrived. Apparently Remus and Tonks are also expecting a baby in the spring," I announced slightly offhand, feeling my smile grow a little wider as the room heard me and allowed themselves each a small smile of excitement in return. It was welcomed news amongst all the tragedy we were used to gathering to report.
"I'll walk you home, love?" Fred asked even though it was a risk for even that much.
But I was too selfish to decline and waved everyone goodnight before Fred led me outside to disapparate again outside the wards.
Standing just outside the wards of the cottage, I waited only until Fred was standing still on solid ground before I crashed into his chest without him expecting it. He took a moment to stop swaying when he lost his balance to realise that I had all but jumped into his embrace. He quickly pulled his arms tightly around me and buried his head down in my hair. It was much warmer standing outside like this but I could still feel my shoulders shaking from the adrenaline and fear I felt.
Luna was taken, Harry wasn't coming home, a baby was going to be born into a world where Death Eaters ran without consequence, and even on my good days I still didn't feel planted in this world.
"I wish I could take you far away, Hare," Fred whispered even though this was only partly true.
We had talked about it once, in the dark of Fred's bedroom one night after one of my nightmares. That we could find somewhere far away from Britain, take my father and hide away until everything passed over. We would even take one of those plane birds and see another part of the world. But we were both too invested to ever think about it seriously, and after George got injured and Harry became so deeply invested into the cause, it wasn't a plan worth humouring.
"This is our home," I responded into Fred's chest, feeling his breath making it rise and fall in an even rhythm.
Neither one of us had anything left to say. Fred was always trying to be the comic relief on the radio show, or at least trying to get people to stop over-panicking any more than they already were. But Fred couldn't quite manage trying to convince me to calm down even if he was the only one who could. I never felt more grounded than when he was holding me or speaking to me or just being around me in general. He had been the one to keep me sane when I was captured and he was still doing it now, even if he felt overwhelmed by it sometimes.
When I finally pulled away, I could feel the resistance in Fred's arms but he finally relented. We both knew it was dangerous to continue just standing out here.
"Good night, Freddie," I whispered, a small yet more genuine smile creeping over my lips.
"Good night, Hare," Fred returned, kissing my smile before stepping back and then twisting with a crack into the night.
xx
The next few weeks were fairly consistent, with fear and panic escalating as more and more people went missing. Tension surmounted and I knew it was only a matter of time before I got my summons for my trial, along with my father's, and then I would have to go into hiding permanently. I didn't trust what they would do to us even if we were both half-bloods, and I didn't want to test the outcome.
It also meant that I was careful within the Ministry with who I ended up next to whenever walking to my Department of leaving for the day.
It was notably strange then with my efforts when I ended up in the elevator with Albert Runcorn one morning, a pureblood high ranking official who worked directly under the new Minister for Magic, Pius Thicknesse. It never boded well to be on the radar of anyone close to the Minister's office and feeling Runcorn's eyes boring into the back of my head was deeply unsettling. I almost expected him to say something, feeling like he was going to speak out, especially since my face was recognisable enough from how many stories the Prophet had done about me over the years. But thankfully, I got off the elevator onto my floor without incident.
The panicked edge I felt however did not settle as I set about my day. Mr. Diggory was reliably non-perceptive, but I preferred it that way. It made it easier to accept his requests for the day without interruption before I was dismissed to my desk.
Work was always successful in occupying my mind from the panic, so by lunchtime I felt marginally better from my elevator mishap. However, it came rushing back to the surface when I got up from my desk to join my coworkers with my sandwich.
A blaring horn screamed across the entire department, most likely throughout the entire Ministry. And there was only one cause for such a raucous that would have Pius and his Death Eaters so riled up.
Harry was in the Ministry.