Chapter 33q: Timeskip

I... need a drink. A stiff one. A really stiff one.

Ugh.

I slept for just shy of two years. The calendar on the walls seems to show it is now february. That makes it... uhhh... twenty-two months...? Hmmmm.

Is that brain damage in action? So many twos. It seems wrong.

Anyway, I think I earned a drink after all this time going without, right?

"Nurse..!"

My voice. It croaks... no, that's frogs. It cracks.

But in this ward of comatose people that rarely sees such bustle in the morning, my voice is like that is an emperor. A very parched, frail, weak-sounding emperor.

A somewhat heavy-set nurse comes stumbling in. Nurse Tina, I was told. The nametag seems to back it up.

It is more like wobbling. Too many muffins, no doubt. It isn't as if the patients will tattle on her, huh.

"It's a silly question... but.. can you tell me how many days it has been? Since the.. accident?"

The stare she gives me is weird. Weirder than when I asked her for some scotch earlier, which she shot down with no feeling whatsoever. That damn goose. Maybe I'll be the first to tattle on her. I'd feel more alive that way.

"Eh.. I'll have to calculate it... Give me a few minutes."

Her smile is a happy, upbeat sort of smile that has no doubt strung along quite a few patients. As she waddles off to her station once more, I can only think of how this smile can't compare to Matilda's in the least, who is... was far prettier and gracious... fuck.

FUCK. FUCK FUCK FUCK!

Why, Matilda?

What is the fucking point?

Tears spring into my eyes again, and I lift my hand to wipe them aw...

FUCK...! Muscle atrophy is no sodding joke. I can barely lift my arm up from the bed.

Now that nurse is going to have to come wipe the tears away again.

Oh. There she is. Such timing.

Nurse Muffin. That's a good name for her. It also makes it easier to ignore that overly happy smile that grates me more the more I see it.

"I hope you aren't very superstitious, Quinn." she says jokingly, waiting out my non-plussed respose. Fuck, what is it with people in this country? Is it that hard to say Mister Hatori? .. I mean, Mister Heel? Really?

Seeing that I am just staring at her as an outlet for my frustration, she moves on with a less bubbly but still kind expression, drawing out the number of days that have passed. "Six. Hundred. Sixty. Six. Days."

What? 666 days? That's like... three times 222? Which is another number infested with the second digit. And there's something to do with the devil here, too. I'm glad Matilda isn't here... ugh.

Nurse Muffin's smiling expression betrays her fun at my expense as my face apparently betrays my line of thinking while she wipes my face with a handkerchief.

"Your daughter should be here soon with her foster family. Are you excited?"

She changes the subject, and for once I'm a bit grateful. Matilda may have died two years ago, but.. I slept for pretty much all of that. Seeing Setsuka again.. that's exactly what I need right now.

Something good that remains in this world.

"Has she grown much?"

I ask the most obvious quesiton.

"I don't really know; I've only worked this ward for the last two months. She seemed like a cute girl the times she came in to visit you."

What is it with the number two? GOD!

"Oh, she still visits? After two years?"

Why am I repeating that number now? Either way, I feel a bit surprised. There's definitely some of Matilda's heartfelt grace in that little body.

Nurse Muffin feeds me a straw so I can drink a bit of water, which makes speaking easier. I didn't even have to ask, wow. She's done this before.

"Of course she does! Of course, it is no doubt stimulated by the caretakers; they have the legal mandate to work towards reuniting the real family of the child where feasible. And you know young kids: out of sight, out of mind. So they probably wanted to make sure she at least had some memories of you, even if you didn't wake up again."

I swear something is wrong with Miss Muffin here. Seriously.

Is she just messing with me? Or are Setsuka's caretakers really just wanting to torture my little darling with seeing my lifeless body week after week?

We continue to talk for a while. Apparently she's got a new sibling now, some girl who was adopted by her current caretakers, and apparently, they're quite chummy.

As the subject ends up shifting to Cain - fuck, I don't know what to think of that troubled boy - I end up finding that I don't really blame him for robbing me from two years of my life.

He had a point. Still has it, probably. No matter how much therapy he had, I doubt he changed much. There's a lot of rage inside of him.

Why don't I remember more? I'm quite sure he blames me for it all, but between the blur caused by this coma and my high blood alcohol content at the time, I can barely remember freaking out when I found out Matilda wasn't breathing.

I am a true class act. An alcoholic. A fucking loser.

The door opens and I see a cute girl standing there.

Wait. That's... Setsuka?

Dear lord... In the blink of an eye... She's grown so much.

But that look she's giving me... like a scared doe that is face to face with a wolf... goddamn. I am the lowest of the low.

And yet the first thing I can think of has nothing to do with her.

'I need a drink.'

My vision goes blurry with tears as all the irreconciled feelings just burst forth in a tumble.