The strong winds brushed against Hilda's skin as she gazed up at the glory of Garreg Mach. It was at the first week of the Guardian Moon when she visited the academy again. She was greeted by the friendly gatekeeper who eagerly told her about the progress in their reconstruction efforts. Soon, she was certain, the Officer's Academy would likely open again, and a bittersweet sense of nostalgia overcame her as she walked through the familiar halls of the monastery.
"Hilda!" Mercedes approached her with an embrace, which she returned with much glee. "It's so nice to see you again!"
"The feeling is mutual," she remarked. Out of the people originally from the Blue Lions, Mercedes had been one she had grown closest to. It wasn't really hard to like her with how pleasant she was.
"I'm happy to see that you are well too," Mercedes showed the sweet smile she was well-known for. "Honestly, I was getting worried since I had been expecting you for the past few moons. Your last visit was in the Horsebow Moon, correct?"
Hilda smiled guiltily. She did promise her to help out and visit at least once every two months since unlike their other classmates, she wasn't really what one would call busy.
"I'm sorry for worrying you," she said, looking at the ground. "But things happened, and. . ."
Mercedes took her hands, squeezing them as she shook her head.
"Well, no matter. We all have things that we need to do. What's important is that you're right here."
Hearing her last sentence made Hilda's mind wander off to Dimitri, who she had left in Goneril. As soon as she mentioned she planned on visiting the monastery, he remarked how he would keep her cabin safe, dismissing any discussions about accompanying her. She figured it was for the best anyway; a trip to the marketplace while donning a cloak with several strangers around was certainly different from a trip to their previous school where people who recognize him exist. Before leaving, she did instruct him to take care of himself and use whatever supplies she had freely; it took about a day to travel to the Monastery and another in going back, so it was the longest time she had to leave him by himself. He said he would, but it didn't really make Hilda any more assured. She ended up giving him instructions of tending to her horse, since she thought it would do him well if he was preoccupied with something he liked. It would likely be helpful too if he had the company of her neighbors, whom she also requested to assist him when needed. Her neighbors, to both her surprise and relief, were highly supportive with no other questions asked whatsoever.
"Hilda?" came Mercedes' worried voice. "You seem to have a lot in your mind. Anything I can help you with?"
"Actually, there is," she wanted to say, but it took much of her self-control not to divulge out of respect for Dimitri's wishes. Truthfully, she was at a point where she was appreciating his presence in her life . . . too much that it was starting to scare her.
She knew her plan for him hadn't changed: wait until he was well enough to decide for himself that he should be back to Fhirdiad, where he belonged. Hilda wasn't really aiming for a certain time frame, especially when she felt she was primarily responsible why he had been there in the first place. Pressuring him would not do him any good either, so she was willing to pay the price for her desire to have a peace of mind by saving him.
But now that Dimitri was becoming better, and how she genuinely cherished his presence in her life as the days had passed, wasn't it turning her more selfish the more she kept him with her?
Regardless of her own feelings, with the way things were, she was no longer certain whether or not hiding Dimitri away from his home the best decision for him. If there was something she was sure of, at the very least, was that she wanted to keep his best interests at heart. Hilda ended up feigning a smile, hoping it would completely mask her thoughts.
"Umm, not really! I was just thinking about tea to prepare with you. Albinean Berry or Southern Fruit Blend? Mmm, just thinking about it makes my mouth water. . ."
Mercedes looked at her carefully before finally nodding, leading her to one of the gazebos.
"As long as it's with you, either one would work, right?"
They ended up preparing the tea together, chatting about the most menial things like the latest fashion trends and the newest snacks at the marketplace. With their many common interests, it had always been a delight talking with Mercedes. They effectively kept her worries aside, and gradually, whatever tensions she had were released.
"The monastery seems to be doing great," she commented when they pretty much ran out of topics to talk about. She glanced at the newly painted walls that surrounded them. "Aside from my donations, what other assistance could I provide before leaving?"
"Well, there are some paperwork that still require some sorting." Mercedes giggled when Hilda groaned with pretend distaste. "You are correct though, if things go on without trouble, we could really open the academy in the following year. That's why Seteth is pretty busy these days too. He actually just left for a trip to hopefully gather more educators from the faith."
"Really?" She was supposed to be claiming a copy of their newest book too. She sighed. "I was hoping to see him. A bummer, then."
"How unfortunate. He just left yesterday."
"Eh, it's fine. I'm sure he'll just deliver the book to me or something."
"You know, Seteth manages to strengthen the bonds of the believers too, so we also have new knights that keep us guarded."
Her eyebrows perked up. "New knights, huh?"
"Yes, new knights. Good-looking ones too, if I may add." Mercedes winked and giggled again. "Remember how we used to gush over dreamy knights back then?"
She chuckled, fondly recalling their conversations as students.
"Such valiant knights, with strong stances as they ride their majestic horses. . . "
With Mercedes' words, memories of her little horse riding lessons flashed in her head. How she felt secure around him, his strong hands guiding her so they wouldn't fall off. . .
"Promising to serve and protect you with all their might. . ."
His reassuring voice, the rare smiles that she wished he'd show more. . .
The more Mercedes spoke, the more her heart fluttered with memories.
"Those broad shoulders that you could definitely lean on—"
His shoulders were definitely broad, the image of his little bathtime mishap clear in her head.
And she caught herself thinking about it too much.
Oh no. Oh no no no—
"Hilda?"
An amused glint appeared in Mercedes' eyes, just as Hilda recognized the warmth surrounding her face.
"Oh my, I did not expect this reaction from you. How very unusual. By any chance, has someone finally caught your eye?"
She covered her face with her palms. "Is it that bad?"
"Well, your cheeks are pretty much the same color as your hair now, if not even redder. Would you tell me more of this mystery person?"
It made her pause. The more reasonable decision, she knew, was to dismiss the topic altogether, especially since it possibly involved revealing Dimitri's identity. Plus, she was sure Mercedes wasn't the type to pry if she didn't want to share anyway.
But another side of her, tired and longing for a sense of relief, just wanted to vent those feelings out, because days later she knew she had to deal with him again. She recognized that she had been growing fond of Dimitri, but it didn't mean that she should put her feelings out in the open; it would do neither of them any good. . .
But she figured it wouldn't hurt to give a little hints, perhaps? After all, she had even described him occasionally in her letters to Marriane under the guise of a 'stranger that she met at the marketplace."
"Well, there is someone—"
"Mercedes, Hilda."
Whatever it was that she was supposed to say no longer reached the other's ears, because they both turned to see a newcomer. Ingrid waved a hand as she walked towards them. Hilda wasn't certain whether to be thankful or not for the interruption, yet she found herself waving back anyway. It's been a while since she had last seen Ingrid; her hair had grown, reaching her shoulders. She thought it was nice; she had always thought Ingrid looked lovelier with longer hair. Mercedes warmly invited her for a cup, which the other accepted with a smile, though there was a grim expression in her eyes that made something in Hilda's gut twist.
"Thank you for the invitation," Ingrid said as she sipped from her cup, "Though I won't be here for long."
Much like Hilda, Mercedes caught on the seriousness of Ingrid's tone.
"It's about His Highness."
At the mere mention of his title, the feeling of dread within her intensified, making Hilda's gaze stay on her tea cup.
"Dimitri?"
"Yes. I am sure you both have heard . . . of the different rumors about his status."
Ingrid proceeded to narrate about the whole truth behind them, which unbeknownst to her companions Hilda already knew. Still she listened intently as it was another side of the whole story. Apparently, only a chosen few trusted nobles of the Kingdom were informed about Dimitri's status when he had woken up, but it was only recently when they learned that he had actually gone missing two weeks after.
"Sylvain and I stumbled upon the truth when we visited Felix at the Fraldarius territory. We were planning to drag him along to visit His Highness on his birthday. Perhaps, maybe to cheer him up and talk to him about his feelings about taking the throne again. . . Well, imagine our shock when apparently His Highness wasn't even in the capital anymore."
She also mentioned that Felix was against keeping it a secret so he told them the truth, even when Rodrigue pleaded with him not to let the information spread so carelessly.
"Faerghus is generally stable for now since the times are peaceful, though I fear it would crumble the moment it would get attacked by hostile forces. I've been hearing reports that remnants of the Imperial Army still exist and are hiding somewhere. Surely, once they learn that there is instability in the Kingdom, they might take advantage of it." Ingrid paused, eyes downcast. "I fear to imagine the outcome."
Hilda herself could no longer look at them in the eyes.
"Anyway, right now, Sylvain, Felix, and I are exerting efforts in looking for him. We decided to relay this information to trusted acquaintances only." Ingrid shifted her gaze to Hilda. "That includes you too, Hilda. I trust you too, not just as someone who had saved His Highness, but also as a former classmate. . . To be honest, you were one of the people outside Faerghus that we wanted to share this information with. We owe you much, but I hope you aren't troubled with this request."
"Not at all," she managed to say with a smile. That was partly a lie; of course she felt troubled, but perhaps her encounter with Ingrid at the monastery was actually a blessing in disguise for Dimitri. If Hilda had not been there at that moment, a possibility existed that Ingrid herself would've traveled all the way to Goneril just to relay the information to her. . . And that wouldn't bode very well for Dimitri, at least in his current state.
"Thank you for the trust, Ingrid. We'll surely let you know when we have information that would help," Mercedes said.
Soon enough, Ingrid left them. Whatever mirth she had with previously conversing with Mercedes no longer returned even as they began sorting paperwork for the monastery. Hilda couldn't even muster her usual complaints and silently did her work.
"You have really been quiet since our conversation with Ingrid. I cannot blame you, however. The news about Dimitri is quite a shocker."
Hilda bit her lip.
"But really, if anything, I'm just happy he's alive. But I sure hope wherever he is, he's okay—"
"Mercedes."
Hilda couldn't take it anymore. Even for someone like her who was used to lying to get away with what she wanted, it just. . . seemed wrong not say anything.
"I know where Dimitri is."
Mercedes' mouth opened in shock as her hands let go of the papers she was stacking.
"He's actually in my house—well, not in our family estate if you're wondering but I have mentioned to you that I live alone, right—and he's really doing well and—"
And a tear escaped from Mercedes' eye, effectively stopping her in her ramblings. Her guilt worsened seeing that she made her friend cry.
"I'm so, so sorry, Mercedes—" she began, completely anticipating a disappointed response, yet all that she saw was a relieved smile.
"Oh thank the goddess he's alright," she muttered as she wiped the tear from her cheek.
"Y-you aren't angry that I didn't tell Ingrid?" She looked down on her lap, crumpling her skirt as she clutched it in her fingers. "I think she's still hasn't left and somewhere in the monastery—"
"Well, surely there must be a good reason why you didn't tell her, so who am I to force you to do it right now?"
Hilda looked at her closely before nodding in resignation. After making sure they were completely alone in the library, she proceeded to narrate their first encounter, relaying Dimitri's reasons plus her choices in their arrangements. Mercedes patiently listened with the grace of a saint. She really did think she'd qualify soon enough.
"And . . . That's it, basically. I don't know what I should be doing, especially now. He seems content with his life right now, even if he's in hiding, and I don't think it would do him any good if I start guilt-tripping him into going back."
Mercedes placed her hand under her chin in contemplation.
"Hmm, I'm not in any position to say what you should do," she replied, "I mean, I don't think anyone is, really, for both you and Dimitri. However, I want to ask you, Hilda. How do you feel about these arrangements?"
"To be really honest. . . I don't really mind." It wasn't even about keeping her 'manservant' anymore—far from it, she could say with confidence. He had been a really kind man, caring, a calming presence that inspired her to think further about what she was capable of. "Is it selfish to say that?"
"Well, as long as both of you feel you are neither an inconvenience, then I suppose it is fine. There is nothing inherently wrong with being content and happy with what you have."
Hilda pondered on her words.
"On the other hand, if we look at the bigger picture, the masses in Faerghus seem worried about their king, his childhood friends included. The royal family had always been a great symbol for hope and prosperity in their lands, so I am sure if he returns, it would certainly uplift morale and make Faerghus stronger than before." Mercedes smiled sadly. "But I also get your point that it wouldn't be conducive for anybody if we just force him back into his position. What sort of symbol could he become if he himself feels hopeless, right?"
Hilda stared blankly at the documents in front of her. "That's true. . ."
"Right now, I think the decision would be entirely up to Dimitri."
Hilda found herself slowly nodding. She had actually thought about that. In the end, she was just waiting for Dimitri to decide for himself.
Eventually, they managed to finish sorting all the needed paperwork, explored the monastery as they reminisced the same, until it was time for Hilda to leave. Mercedes led her to the front gates where her carriage was waiting for her.
"By the way, it has just dawned on me. Is it possible . . . That the mystery person and him are one and the same?"
She didn't answer, but her silence and embarrassed smile were perhaps enough to satisfy Mercedes' curiosity.
Meanwhile, a day before Hilda arrived at Garreg Mach, Dimitri had been staying alone at her cabin.
She left early morning that day, and it had been several hours since she did.
Truthfully, the thought of her leaving sent him with flurries of worry. Anxiety. What if something had happened to her? Was he wrong for letting her go without him?
He shook his head, knowing how it would complicate things if he did. What deflated his worries was his confidence in Hilda's capability of defending herself, along with the knowledge that she was accompanied by the most elite guards of House Goneril.
If anything, shouldn't he be worried for himself. . .?
Dimitri's brows furrowed, realizing how odd that thought was for him. Since when had he genuinely thought of his own well-being?
He set those thoughts aside, remembering Hilda's instructions. After gaining permission from her neighbors, he entered the stables, approaching and greeting her horse. Taking the brush from the storage box, he proceeded to groom its fur, and in no time, the horse nuzzled his hand with affection.
The act reminded him of how he groomed his horse back in the stables at Garreg Mach. . . Even back in the stables at the palace at Fhirdiad, when he had been a child.
He never realized that recalling fond memories of his hometown was even possible.
It was a calming experience, nonetheless, that he didn't even know how much time had passed.
"She's been really spoiled lately, that girl."
He turned to see the elderly man entering the stables, the wrinkles around his eyes becoming prominent as he chuckled. When he was about to ask who he was pertaining to, he realized himself that he was referring to the horse beside him.
"Not saying it's a bad thing. They really do need affection too; our grooming and feeding could only do so much. I'm happy you manage to convince Lady Hilda to go riding even once in a while."
Thinking about it, wasn't her neighbors primarily in charge for tending to her horse, so was there really a need for him to do so. . .?
"Once you are done, come over to our house to have lunch. My wife and I would be delighted to have you over."
He ended up accepting their invitation. Their house was simple, yet it was warm at the same time, that even fonder memories of eating together with his own family surged in his mind. With their welcoming and non-prying nature, he ended up staying longer than he intended.
However, when they offered to let him stay for the night in their house, he respectfully declined. It had been nice, really, yet he no longer wished to trouble them any further. Especially when he remembered he himself was still on the run. Especially when they accepted him even without confirmation of who he truly was. Involving such good-natured people further in his predicament would seem really selfish, especially when thinking of the worst things that could happen.
Then it brought his thoughts back to Hilda, who had kept him despite knowing all the risks. Surely, if discovered by the wrong people, it would be a national scandal if it had been known that a noble of the Alliance had been keeping him, the heir to the throne of the Kingdom.
Had he been taking advantage of her kindness after all? Was it selfish if he kept on staying with her?
He wasn't able to ponder on it for long, since her neighbors were rather insistent. What managed to convince them to let him go was telling them he promised Hilda to keep her house safe, and that he couldn't do that if he wasn't there.
And so he did, entering the cabin just as the skies darkened. The temperature cooled down significantly without the sun's warmth. He turned to the fireplace, intending to light it as they usually did at that hour, but immediately changed his mind. Wouldn't it be suspicious if smoke was coming out of the chimney when the owner of the house supposedly wasn't there?
Nevermind if he was overthinking, but keeping Hilda's best interests at heart, he decided to don his thickest cloaks, settling on the back porch just as he did in his first night. It should be the best decision, right? For him to guard the house for any unwanted visitors. For him to easily escape should there be presence of Kingdom knights. Nevermind the cold too, for he was used to it, nor the discomfiting ground he had been sitting on. He knew he had been in even worse conditions and managed to survive it all. He didn't even think he'd be able to fall asleep inside. At least if he was outside, he'd be alert and would not likely drown with the muffled voices around him.
As the night passed, he kept himself preoccupied with the pleasant memories that he never realized were stored in his mind, and soon enough, he found himself dreaming of all the could-have's and should-have's. In between all the thinking, he must have fallen asleep in varying intervals. . .
Until it was morning again. He estimated the time, and he safely assumed that Hilda had already arrived at the monastery. He commenced his day like the previous one, only for that day he also offered to help out the neighbors tend to their field, assisting in carrying their harvests. He was again offered for a meal with them, which he failed to refuse with their kind insistence. They failed, however, in convincing him to sleep at their house again, as he retreated back to his spot at the back porch.
The night also went on similarly, the cold winds embracing him, except he also had the company of his own thoughts of going home one day. He thought it was peculiar how the thought didn't make him any colder.
"It's not really too late for you, either," he remembered Hilda's words, "After all, you're still alive."
Was it really not too late, he asked himself, the question ringing in his mind until it was morning again.
He entered the cabin, doing at least the bare minimum of caring for himself. Bathing, changing clothes, eating breakfast. . . As soon as he was done, he went back to the back porch, wondering if there was something else he could do to help out the neighbors that day.
Until he heard the sound of knocking.
Dimitri froze. He was certain it was from the front door. Hilda wasn't supposed to be back until evening. Besides, she wouldn't be knocking in the first place; she had the keys to her own house after all, so whoever it was wasn't her.
There was another series of knocks that made Dimitri's pulse race even more.
Fear. It was a foreign feeling, something he had not felt in a long while. He hated how he did not know how to deal with it, making him unable to move from his spot.
To his relief, however, the knocking stopped after a few long seconds. He didn't know why—perhaps it was his instincts acting up—yet his first thought was that he needed to get out of there.
But which way? Should he actually enter the house instead?
He was no longer given any time, anyway, because soon enough, he found a man emerging from the corner, looking at him with unconcealed surprise. Dimitri eyed the familiar dark green locks on his head, along with the navy blue robes he adorned.
Seteth.
Both of them stared awkwardly for quite some time. His instincts told him to run away; Seteth was a prominent member of the Church of Seiros, who was closely tied to the Kingdom.
On the other hand, Seteth was also his teacher, someone whose presence provided direction and guidance not only in matters of lance-wielding and authority, but of all other things when they had been at the academy.
His mind was in circles, uncertain of what to do.
"Dimitri?"
Seteth's voice broke the uncomfortable silence. Dimitri briefly studied his face—there was confusion? Concern? He wasn't sure himself, yet he was certain there was an absence of hostility.
And perhaps that had been enough to appease his doubts.
Dimitri stood as he breathed heavily.
"Would you like to come inside?"
The other simply nodded in agreement, silently following after him. He noticed how Seteth observed the interior of the house before settling on a chair at the common room.
"This is . . . Hilda's house, correct?"
"Yes."
"And you're alive."
"Yes."
Silence.
Seteth coughed.
"I mean, pardon me for stating the obvious, but these are a lot to digest," he confessed, "Even for someone like me who had his share of bizarre events all his life."
Dimitri paused, unsure of what to answer.
"You are looking for Hilda?" he asked instead.
"Yes." Seteth retrieved a package from the bag he carried. "I've had official businesses with the Eastern Church, and given that Goneril was along the way home, I intended to personally deliver to her a copy of our book. It seems my timing isn't right, however."
"She just traveled for Garreg Mach the other day, but she should be back here later."
"Unfortunate, as I need to return to the monastery this day. We'll likely pass each other unknowingly on the roads later on." An amused snort escaped from his nose. "Well, it is perhaps best if I hand this over to you to be given to her later."
Dimitri reached out for the package and placed it beside him. What followed was another round of silence.
"Could I offer you some tea, perhaps?" he attempted to ask, but the other shook his head.
"Thank you for the offer, but I do not intend to overstay my welcome as I have people waiting for me at the marketplace. I apologize if I gave off that impression. I am still rather . . . surprised." The corners of his mouth rose up. "Surprised in a very good way, I assure you."
He knew he should've been comforted with his words, yet he still couldn't quite allow the feeling of relief to completely overcome him.
"Why is that?"
"If I may be terribly honest, I thought you were a lost cause when I saw your state in the war. But seeing you now, I am nothing short of delighted being proven wrong."
Dimitri found himself looking down, staring blankly at the table between them.
"So, what now?"
"Hmm, what do you mean?" he responded with genuine curiosity, something Dimitri didn't expect.
"Are you. . ." He stopped, hesitating, fearing Seteth's response should he open the discussion himself.
However, Seteth, being the wise man that he was, caught on quickly.
". . . Am I going to convince you to go back to the Kingdom?"
He didn't respond, urging Seteth to continue.
"It is true, the Church is closely knit to the Kingdom. Certainly, increased morale of the Kingdom would greatly benefit the church."
The words weighted heavily on Dimitri.
"However, matters within the Kingdom itself is beyond our jurisdiction as part of the Church. I am not in the position to dictate on what you should be doing."
His words reminded her of Hilda's. He realized that all his life, he followed through the wishes of others, and never really of himself.
"Let me ask you something, Dimitri. Do you wish to go back?"
"Yes, but. . ." He wasn't sure. Somewhere, deep in his heart, was the desire to go back home, yet uncertainties existed that prevented him from doing so. Seteth simply nodded.
"It's fine. You need not answer if you don't have them yet. Could you entertain another question, then? Do you wish to leave this place?"
He didn't want to, he was sure, yet he didn't say it out loud. Based from Seteth's amused reaction however, Dimitri wasn't probably the best in concealing his own feelings.
"Well, I am certainly not one for gossip, but I do admit, I am curious about your arrangements with Hilda. Of course, you need not to clarify, but if my assumptions are correct, you are currently the way you are because of staying here, correct?"
"Yes."
"I do not find fault in that, wanting to stay where you find peace."
Dimitri didn't know what truths or lies Seteth knew about him prior to their meeting. He couldn't really tell since his teacher's expression didn't change, remaining pensive throughout.
"Rodrigue and his men are looking for me," he ended up admitting.
"I see. So that is where you're coming from. Will you allow me to tell you a story, then?"
There was no real harm in hearing it, Dimitri thought. He nodded.
Seteth thanked him, and proceeded to describe someone he loved dearly. Someone he had almost lost one time. He narrated his bouts of dread just thinking of the possible dire situations she could've been at, how he feared never seeing her alive again.
Even without directly her name, Dimitri knew he was pertaining to Flayn.
"You could only imagine my relief, how eternally thankful I was when she was safely back in my arms." There was a solemn look in his eyes as he smiled. "Sometimes you'd wish she could've been with you forever, but that is wishful thinking."
Dimitri's eyebrows furrowed, looking at the other questioningly. Was he implying that—
"This person that I love, I lost her again. Right now, she is no longer with me."
Dimitri had no words. Instead, he could only admire the unpresuming strength of the person in front of him.
"There is no need for sympathies," Seteth said, likely noticing his reaction, "Unlike the first event where she had been forced away from me, where plenty of unknowns succeeded in pulling me to helplessness, her current situation . . . has different circumstances. It requires me to wait, yet I could wait with confidence that one day, she would return and be with me again." He chuckled. "I could only hope that I am still alive until that day arrives."
He wasn't certain what he meant, yet he didn't find himself asking.
"I hope my little story could help you ponder on some of the questions in your mind, speaking as someone like a parental figure who had lost his child. You don't really have force yourself back if you don't want it, but I'm sure those who really care for you would appreciate if you speak what's in your heart instead of running away."
Seteth left soon enough. With his departure, Dimitri asked another question to himself:
Was running away, like what he was doing, accomplishing anything?
Hilda arrived at Goneril territories that evening. She thought the ride had been longer despite the travel time being the same; her own thoughts must've preoccupied her much.
She first saw Dimitri in front of the fireplace, replenishing the stock of firewood. She did not miss the way his face brightened immediately as he saw her.
Yet she didn't return the smile.
"Is it true, what the neighbors said?" She put up a stern front, trying to mask how upset she really was. "That you slept at the back porch when I wasn't around?"
He looked down with guilt. "Well, yes, but—"
"It's freezing outside! D-didn't I tell you to take care of yourself?!"
"No, no. . . I simply thought it was the most reasonable arrangement. It's not at all my intention to disregard my own health—"
She effectively silenced him by tackling him into an embrace, not letting him see how her tears stubbornly flowed down her cheeks. Dimitri on the other hand was likely stunned at the action, his arms awkwardly hovering behind her.
"Stupid. . ." She didn't care if she was going to be sentenced to death by bluntly saying offensive words about a member of the royalty because that's what he was—an idiot. "Don't do it again, you hear?"
"Please forgive me. I will try my best not to be careless again." He returned the embrace, and she hated how the action immediately alleviated the anger she was supposed to be feeling towards him. "However, there was nothing to be worried about anyway. I am fine, right? I even made sure to have donned my thickest cloaks—"
She shushed him, which ended their exchange on the matter.
Unbeknownst to both, they individually wished that the other would have a peaceful, restful night, after imagining how draining the days must have been for them. On Hilda's end, she imagined him experiencing sleepless nights in undoubtedly uncomfortable conditions. On Dimitri's end, he imagined how exhausting the long travel must've been for her.
However, unbeknownst to both of them too, it wasn't even the physical fatigue that was taking a toll on them; rather, it was the various thoughts and questions clouding their minds that weighed even heavier.
It started when Hilda noticed the package from Seteth.
"Seteth was here?" she remarked with surprise.
When he nodded, Hilda's face became obviously worried.
"It's fine," he assured her, "I think he is someone trustworthy."
Despite hearing his words, her gaze fell, feeling guilt. She imagined how nerve-racking it must've been for him. Why did she have to leave at the worst time possible?
"I'm sorry."
"There's no need to be."
As he said those words, she thought he was too kind, too understanding for someone like her.
It made Hilda even guiltier, that she felt that he deserved to know what had happened at Garreg Mach too despite her uncertainties.
She told him of the things that Ingrid said, along with her inadvertently telling Mercedes about the truth of his status and whereabouts. She expected him to be angry for blabbering about things she should've kept quiet about.
But instead of anger, he responded with a tone of regret.
"My apologies for dragging you into this mess. It must've been hard for you."
She smiled. "There is no need to be sorry. . ."
As she said those words, he thought she was too kind, too patient, for someone like him.
Unbeknownst to both of them, they wished the whole world for the other, yet at the same time felt how undeserving themselves were for the other.
Hilda took the first step.
"How long do you intend to stay here, Dimitri?"
"I'm not certain." For as long as you want me to. "But if you wish for me to go—"
"I don't." I really, reaaaally don't. "I'm not saying you have to go, because I was serious in my wish for you to live. If you're simply going back to assume the responsibilities you don't even want, would you call that living?"
When Hilda said it, she wasn't certain what she wanted Dimitri to answer. At the same time, Dimitri wasn't certain what his definition of 'living' was.
"Please allow me time to ponder about it."
Dimitri wasn't sure if it was the right answer to tell, because in the end, he felt like his selfishness prevailed again, delaying the inevitable. Unbeknownst to him, Hilda was thinking the same, thinking herself selfish for finding nothing wrong with his answer.