Chapter 45s: Future's Dilemma

Cassandra and I have been doing a game lately.

Every time I visit, I cannot help but be reminded how skilled she is at drawing, exactly because of this game.

Take the picture of a Möbius strip that I came up with last week. I didn't even know it had a name, nevermind such a difficult one at that point!

I tried really hard to make sure the light looked right on that weird shape, and I think it looked alright... although I wasn't really happy with it. But as the game goes, she tries to improve on whatever I bring her while explaining all of her thinking.

What she did when she drew her version was to twist it so it looks like a sideways eight. She told me it means infinity. And it wasn't solid, but had a bit of a bee-hive like pattern, which made the problem of the light and shadows into a totally different problem. Next, she sketched some ants walking on it while holding food, and it started to look like this endlessly marching army.

Suddenly, some really wacky shape I drew out of idle fascination after being inspired by handicrafts at school turned into this amazingly meaningful artwork about the meaning of life.

How amazing is that! She's so talented!

Of course, Timothy did happen and told me that Cassandra cheated a bit, to which the latter chuckled awkwardly. Apparently the first person to come up with this idea was some Dutch artist called Escher nearly fifty years ago.

But that opened up a world of drawings I didn't think were even a thing. God bless the internet! After that, I couldn't help myself any longer and went straight for the library.

I spent some time at the library, looking around before taking a book that was actually dedicated to this guy and all the things he did. They were so limited!

He had to do this really weird process just to print out a second copy of his artwork.. because photocopiers apparently weren't a thing yet.

But most gorgeous of all was all the things he did. All sorts of impossible things like walls becoming ceilings and triangles that aren't really triangles and then birds becoming fish and.. wow.

He didn't make the prettiest art.. but it was such smart art. Such weird out-of-the-way stuff. I really like it!

And now Cassandra is yelling at me.

"Haven't I been telling you? Draw it yourself! Don't copy someone elses work!"

"But didn't you do that last week?" I respond with a pout, feeling hurt by her statement. I did a really good job trying to turn that fish into a bird myself.

"Do as I say, not as I do! I was trying to open your mind to new creative ideas, not for you to limit yourself to them! The world is full of copycats. Don't join them!"

She's really legitimately upset, I think. She rarely gets that upset with me.

"I'm sorry, Cassandra. I screwed up, I'm sorry." I try to not cry, and I think she realizes I'm earnest, because she cools down.

"Okay. I forgive you."

Like the sun appearing from behind the clouds, I feel my mood lifting. I smile at her.

"But don't do it again." She adds this right after when she sees how easily I try to move on from her rant.

Oww. So stern. I nod my head quickly.

"Okay, so it isn't bad to be inspired by Escher. He was really capable and creative. But you need to realize you have to find your own path, and that your own creativity is the most precious skill you can build up. If you start copying, drawing will become boring and rote. Don't do it."

I nod again, making sure to remember not to cross her bottom line. She never gets pissed off like this, so it has to be really important, right?

"Okay. So if you like to study pattern transformations, that is fine. But do it your own way. How about next week, you fold a cube and do some sort of transforming pattern of your own that is different on all the sides?"

A cube? A pattern? Ow. My mind hurts. That's so hard!

"I'll try." I promise her, smiling faintly.

"OK. So how's your dad doing now? Is he getting better?"

I grimace a bit. Bleh. I come here so I don't have to think about any of that!

"Uhh... he's getting better. Slowly. He's pushing himself about now; there's no more nurses that follow him everywhere like some sort of secret agents trying to get at his secrets under the excuse of pushing his wheelchair."

Cassandra chuckles in that conspirational way she is so good at, and I can hear Timothy laughing in the room he is in. He must have overheard. Business must be good for him as of late, because I rarely see him in the front here nowadays. But that's totally fine by me. His eyes still creep me out, no matter how nice of a guy he is.

"How about your brother?"

She places her finger on my lips before I can start gushing, shaking her head. "No. That's not what I mean."

Oh.

The finger lifts away.

"I think the court gave a prosivi... temporary okay to them living together. Once dad gets fired from the get-better place, I mean. But there's always the chance for an appeal, Nii-san said."

Bah. The fakes didn't even try, I bet. Not that they said they would... but I still hoped they might.

Cassandra smiles gently. "But isn't that good..? Liviung with your dad is one step closer to being a family again, right?"

I grimace, and she seems utterly unhurried, allowing a silence to fall so I can't avoid responding.

"IT SUCKS! Am I supposed to want to live with them? I'll miss Jenny, and may not be able to come see you and Timothy again in the future. I probably would have to move schools again, too.."

She pats my shoulder comfortingly. "But you said you wanted to live back with your brother. Isn't this your chance?" she counters.

I smile wryly, trying to put up a front so I won't cry. "But I don't want to lose other things to make it happen! And Jell... Jenny said I probably can't affect the decision very much because I am too young." It is with pain in my heart that I begrudgingly admit to the unfairness of reality.

"It will work out. You just need to keep trying hard."

Bah. Such easy talk. Do you think I'm an idiot?

"Life is like drawing, Setsuka. You just need to keep approaching problems from different angles, and eventually, a picture will emerge that you couldn't see coming beforehand."

Wow, that's...

"That's so deep, Cass! What movie did you steal that from?"

"No movie! That one is an original!"

I burst out in laughter. It is weird how they are so good at breaking the panic and frustration whenever it builds up like that.

Maybe I can take on the future just like they say.