Chapter 55c: Frustrating Foolishness
I really need to get a mobile phone. And I need to get her one, too. Because this is the most utterly retarded game of phone hide-and-seek-and-maybe-tag that I've ever had to go through.
The cordless in my hand is something I stare at, the last attempt five minutes ago having been a dead end. Nobody home. Damnit.
Right when that old coot is finding new ways to skirt the law in a place where an upstart piece of sperm-met-egg can't ruin his chances. Which in turn gives me mine.
I finally have a chance... but nope, nothing! BAH! Can't anyone over there just answer the damn phone!? It isn't rocket science!
The problem with dear old dad being in a wheelchair is that he stays home far more than he used to. The pubs must not be very wheelchair accessible, although I am sure he'll laugh that one off and simply call it a blessing in disguise. Whatever the reason or excuse may be, it sucks.
Whenever he's home and I turn my music off, he comes to bug me for 'talks' nobody with half a brain has any interest in. And when I have it on, he comes to my door to bug me about the volume, so obviously the only response is to turn it up higher. It's not like Zoe will let her coworkers lock me up or anything over a damn radio, after all.
Arghhh..!
I'd feel so much better if I could just throw that phone against the wall. But only for a minute. I can't afford not to clear up the air with Setsuka.
She never outright said it at court, nor since, but she is upset with me. She doesn't need to say it, because I know. But it is for the best.
... As if she'd listen to such a PATHETIC EXCUSE! OW!
Kicking the bed in anger is a painfully decent alternative to throwing the phone, goddamn it. At least I'm wearing shoes, even though the Dickhead-In-Charge keeps telling me to take them off.
This is England, not fucking Japan. Asshole.
Rrrrinnnnngggg~~~!
Wah! That startled me.
Caller ID.. is Setsuka's home. Thank god. I quickly go to answer the call.
"Yes? This is Cain? Setsuka, is that you?"
"Nii-san. Please stop." She sounds tired. Tired and frustrated. What has she been doing?
"You weren't answering my calls. I'm worried."
Her response is deadpan serious; I can tell by the breath she takes. It lacks her usual vibrant life-loving enthusiasm.
"You deserve it."
Yes, yes I do. I should never have pushed you away, especially not like that!
"I do. I'm sorry." When at fault, come clean, and do so cleanly. Mom always said honesty and candidness brings a person furthest in life... I wish I could have stuck to that mentality more.
"I don't care."
Huh? She.. doesn't care? My mind is trying to catch up for a brief second. Is this the girl that will forget everything once an earnest apology is offered?
"Just... stop calling, okay? I'll call you."
What the...?
"Setsuka. No..! Don't hang up! Talk to me! I'm sorry! Look, I'm sorry!"
Only as I hear the words form do I realize that the desperation in my voice is truly pathetic. I am supposed to be her big brother? More like a big loser.
"I don't care, Nii-san. You're not the Nii I know anymore."
And then the beeping.
The beeping..!
She hung up on me.
SHE HUNG UP ON ME!
Fuck.
That.
Beeping!
It is only at the last possible moment that my brain catches up and I throw the damn phone in the pillow rather than the floor.
I rush to get my jacket and literally dash out of the apartment. The gym. I'm going to run. I need to get out. Get out get out get out!
Before I face that guy who is the cause of this fucking disaster!
I'm going to set a new record time to get to the gym. Easy. Really easy. And then handle every damn weight I can find until I can't stand anymore. Or maybe a sparring partner...
Or simply until this painful rage passes and makes way for a clarity that doesn't involve breaking bones and strangling dad.
Fat chance.