Chapter 1: Before we lost it all

Hello again! And welcome new readers~

There it is, the first rewritten chapter of The Saddened Painter and the Lonely Shinobi. It took me forever to settle on a title, nothing felt right. Feel free to say if you like it, hate it or anything.

As I said, Brushes of Loneliness will be slower-paced. We'll get to see a bit more of Tsuki's life before -I'm not spoiling quite yet. And see how she goes from a bubbly, happy child to what we see in Lonely Souls.

I switched her name to 'Tsukiko' because…it felt better. And Nowhara changed to Hatori because I felt it was too close to Nohara Rin. And I gave a bit more background to the characters, and will keep on doing so.

Enjoy~

XxxX Chapter 1: Before we lost it all XxxX

"Your kunai's not in the middle!"

"It is!"

"Is not!"

"Liar!"

The small, black-haired child frowned cutely, offended, and glared at his equally dark-haired friend.

"I'm an Uchiha! Uchihas don't lie!" The girl only stuck her tongue at him childishly.

"Doesn't mean you can't, idiot!"

"Take that back!"

"Make me!"

Cheeks flushed, the seven, nearly eight-years old Uchiha Sasuke raggedly stomped away from his friend, towards their target. In the bark of the closest tree, several circles had been crudely graved on the rough bark, in a pale imitation of a target. Several marks on the poor tree, scattered all around the circles and outside, stood as proof of the children's dedicated training; and stabbed on the edge of the innermost circle, two sharp kunais were solidly embedded in the bark. The boy huffed in irritation, and with one, angry move, he pulled one kunai free of the bark, before whirling around to face his friend, staring stupidly at the kunai in his hand.

"There!" he yelled, frustrated. "Now you see my kunai's the only one in the target!"

Hatori Tsuki only blinked in confusion. She looked at the kunai, then at her friend, then back at the kunai…and exploded into hysterical laughter, clutching her belly with her small, seven-years-old pudgy hands. Her short black hair fell over her deep blue eyes, hiding the mirth in them, while her friend's frustrated frown only deepened in both anger and confusion.

"What's so funny..?" his friend only laughed harder, tears now spilling from her eyes. Sasuke's cheeks burst in flames. "Oi, Tsuki! Stop laughing and answer me!"

"The kunai…" Tsuki eventually managed, in-between two fits of laughter. "The one you-you pulled out…" she paused, catching her breath, before erupting in a wide, blinding smile, and pointing triumphantly at the tree. "It's yours! I win!"

Sasuke blinked uncomprehendingly, before understanding dawned on him. At once, he raised the kunai at eye-level, trying to spot the Uchiha crest on the handle. The boy froze when, immediately, he caught sight of the red and white Uchiha fan. Taking advantage of his confusion, the other child slipped past him and pulled her kunai free of the bark, a teasing gleam in her beautiful, childish eyes. She said nothing, but the Uchiha boy had known her for long enough to know what her silence meant, and he did not dignify that look with an answer.

Refusing to verbally admit defeat, the Uchiha huffed and shoved his hands in his pockets before turning his back on the girl and taking the path towards his clan compound. Tsuki's smile slowly fell, and a scowl replaced it, though hers would never equal her friend in its grumpiness. Not that she'd ever say it to his face, of course. The small girl jogged forward, slipping into place beside him, matching his short strides. She crossed her small arms over her chest and huffed.

"…You're a sore loser."

"Hn. Uchihas don't lose."

"Maybe. But I still won." The Uchiha scowled and walked faster. The girl followed easily.

"I don't know why I bother with you. You're stupid."

"Takes one to know one," she sang cheerfully, spying the compound's entrance in the distance. "But I'm the best in class, and if you don't wanna be held back by someone more weak, you're stuck with me!" Her friend shrugged, glancing back at her.

"Anyone is better than you," he grumbled, but the girl didn't take it to heart. An evil glint sparkled in her eyes.

"Anyone, huh?" she paused, theatrically tapping on her lips with her fingers. Sasuke stopped as well, wondering what she was up to. She met his dark eyes, the very picture of innocence, then shrugged. "Well, you're mean to me, so maybe I'll ask Ino-san to switch partners with me." Sasuke's horrified eyes met hers.

"Kami, no! Girls are the worst!" Tsuki tilted her head to the side in mock-confusion.

"But I'm a girl, Sasuke-kuuuun! That's so meaaaaaannnnnn!"

"You're not," the boy vehemently denied, which made her pause in her silly imitation. "Girls are-they're evil. They're weird and they have long hair and they wear dresses and they always jump at me squealing and screaming and-" he paused to catch his breath, before finishing in a grumpy tone, "and you, you are…tolerable."

Tsuki sweatdropped.

"…Tolerable?"

"Tolerable," Sasuke confirmed, nodding to himself. Tsuki shook her head, a smile smile on her lips. Coming from him, her snob of a friend, the one who could barely tolerate anyone, who thought his clan was the best and nobody could compare…it meant the world. And she appreciated the compliment for what it was.

The two fell into easy conversation after this, enjoying their time together. They had known each other for so long, these two. Ever since they could walk, ever since they'd started training in the same forest. Though they could have passed as rivals to the bystanders, those who knew them well had long since learned to accept the strange friendship in-between the Uchiha clan Head's second son and the Hatori heiress. The afternoons, after attending the ninja school, they could be seen training together, playing games and competing against each other in an easy, relaxed way. And though Sasuke would never admit it to anyone, he considered the girl to be his closest friend -someone who was strong, perhaps a little less strong than he was, but much stronger than the rest of their class. The Nara brat was always napping, the blond Yamanaka only ever made strange eyes at him like all the other girls in the class, and the other boys weren't all that interested in strengthening their skills. He only hoped, when he finally made it to genin, that she'd be in his team. He didn't see himself working with anyone else.

For her part, Tsuki secretly admired her dark-haired friend. The Hatori clan had a tradition of not allowing women to become shinobi -a stupid tradition, if you asked her- which her father had recently declared void, allowing her to attend the academy. And Sasuke was the perfect example of the kind of ninja she wanted to become : cool, composed, and strong. When he wasn't being a sore loser, of course. She was definitely going to keep rubbing it in his face.

The compound's doors came into view, guarded by two tense males, though the children didn't notice it. A few years ago, the girl had been welcomed into the compound anytime, but lately, the people had started to look at her funnily whenever she came by. It creeped her out, and Sasuke, ever the observant one, had eventually noticed. They stopped a few feet away from the heavy doors, far enough so that the two guards wouldn't stare at her as though she was the plague incarnated.

She missed it, somewhat. She missed coming into the lively compound, smelling all the pastries and sweets, and seeing all the beautiful yukatas and colourful paintings. Yuki-san, the small woman from down the street, would always allow her into her house, giving her sweets and asking about her day. She'd even gifted her her first set of brushes, when she'd asked about the beautiful paintings exposed on her walls. And the days her mother had been especially mean or indifferent, the woman would always find a way to cheer her up; be it by inviting her to watch the stars on her roof, sometimes joined by Sasuke, or giving her pointers on her drawings. More than once, at night and in the privacy of her own mind, Tsuki had dreamed the beautiful, dark-haired woman with the kind eyes had been her mother. And when she'd told her about that dream, Yuki had only smiled, and told her she'd always be there for her. It made her smile when she thought about it, but lately she'd been reduced to trying to catch her whenever she left the compound to reach the market. She didn't see her as much as she used to, and it saddened her greatly.

The two children stopped a short way away from the imposing doors, away from the other Uchihas' unforgiving eyes. Tsuki turned to the boy.

"Same time, same place tomorrow?" she asked, but Sasuke shook his head.

"I can't. Ni-san promised to train with me!" The smile he gave her was so wide and blinding, she couldn't bring herself to say what she would have otherwise. 'He always says that, Sasuke. But he never does, so why do you keep on trusting someone who never keeps his promises?' But saying so would start another pointless argument she wouldn't win, so she let it go. She nodded her assent instead, turning away.

"See you at the academy, then."

"Bye."

Her spirits the slightest bit dampened, the young child slowly took the road back to her home, swiftly avoiding the hurrying people on the darkening streets and the yelling, busy merchants trying to sell their goods. It was quite a long way, but she didn't mind. The Uchiha compound, after the Kyuubi attack nearly eight years ago, had been rebuilt on the outskirts of Konoha, isolated from everything else, but the Hatori compound was closer to the forest marking the edge of the village, and the Hokage Tower. And while the compound had its fair share of training ground, both Sasuke's stubborn and cute Uchiha pride ("Our training grounds are the best, I tell you!") and her own desire to avoid her dark, lonely home had decided to her to walk this road everyday to join her dark-haired friend.

It wasn't easy, at home. Despite being a child, Tsuki wasn't stupid. She knew what tension looked like, knew what love was supposed to be; she could feel the first, but the second was stubbornly absent from her household. Her mother, Hatori Ayano, the matriarch, stalked the shadows of the ancient house like a wraith, watching with frighteningly sharp eye as her small kingdom turned on its axis in a well-oiled, obedient machinery. Her voice, calm and melodious but so incredibly cold, only ever rose to bark out commands or scathingly destroy some poor soul who had had the misfortune of displeasing the matriarch. And more often than not, she, her own daughter, was that poor, unfortunate soul. But Ayano couldn't be called a bad mother, not really. Her firstborn, Hatori Sora, had just been gifted a full set of kunai and several books as he passed his chunin exam; he'd been praised by the whole clan, and Ayano had privately gifted him a chakra-storing necklace of great value. Her dark eyes turned warmed whenever they landed upon her son, the one who could do no wrong in her eyes, and the bond between them was bare for all to see, pure and loving. And while Tsuki had her father's love, it did not mean she didn't long for her mother to look at her with pride and love instead of scorn and indifference.

Hatori Tsubaki, for his part, was nothing like his wife. He had warm, blue eyes and soft, delicate features betraying the utter lack of cruelty and harshness in his character. The Hatori Head was kind, understanding and uncaring of the rules, especially where his heart was concerned. And while, back in his younger years, he'd bent and nodded along to the rules of his own father and council, now that he was the Head, he did as he pleased without caring for the opinions of the clan or the people supposed to rule alongside him. His decisions made him a fairly disliked leader among the elders, but still he held the reins, and as long as he did, she could still train and become a ninja like she wanted. So Tsuki didn't really mind the whispers in the hall, choosing not to pay attention to it. They did not matter. The other girls who were scaredy cats and civilians did not matter. The clan members did not matter.

Tsuki had her own little world, and if they didn't deserve to be a part of it, then so be it.

The sun had nearly completely set by the time she made it back to the compound, hurrying past the imposing doors under the disapproving gazes of several guards and women, but she barely noticed them, they would never speak out against her. She was the heiress, and the only people who could safely reprimand her and get away with it were her parents –the elders didn't dare, and Sora rarely if ever acknowledged her existence, raised by Ayano's firm hand to believe women were not supposed to become ninjas. His loss.

A shadow fell over her, and she was scooped into powerful, familiar arms before she could do so much as squeal in surprise.

"I got you, little moon," Tsubaki laughed, twirling his daughter in the air as she flayed around. "You're so cute like this."

"Daaaaaad!" Tsuki whined, the fight leaving her as she realised she wouldn't get anywhere. "Stop doing that! I'm not a baby anymore!"

"You are," he disagreed, though he actually put her down. "I'll stop seeing you as a baby the day you can actually dodge me when you come home." Tsuki scowled.

"It's unfair. You're stronger than me, and I barely started the school!"

"One day you'll be much stronger than I am, Tsukiko," Her father said wisely, taking her small hand in his and leading her inside the compound. He completely ignored the way his daughter scowled at his use of her full name, his gaze wandering over the compound's walls, staring at something she couldn't quite see with her young eyes. His face softened into a soulful expression. "One day, you'll be free."

Tsuki glanced up at him questioningly, allowing him to drag her along.

"What do you mean? You say it like, you're a prisoner or something." Tsubaki smiled.

"Or something." He repeated, before facing resolutely forwards. "Now come; I believe dinner is ready, and if your mother has to wait even a minute longer, she'll have both our heads."

The prospect of warm, delicious food chased whatever confusion she might have had at her father's words, the question buried and forgotten in a dark corner of her mind. She sat in front of the table, giving out respectful greetings to the other two, out of habit more than real respect, and waited patiently for the food to be served. Dinner was a quiet affair, Ayano trying to question Tsubaki about his day and him answering with a few short, disinterested words, Sora ignoring pretty much everyone, and Tsuki eating to her small heart's content, silently basking in her father's presence. He wasn't home a lot, due to his status as an active shinobi –more often than not, he was lost for weeks and some distant corner of the world, and it was nothing but her, her brother, and Ayano in the house, with the occasional presence of the other clan members who worked for them. She missed him, terribly so, but whenever the sky seemed to darken around her, he miraculously came back to chase the storm away, each and every time. He was her saviour, her most important person in the world, and for now, it was enough.

It had to be.

Ayano excused herself quickly from the table before dessert and Sora eventually followed his father outside for a late training session. He didn't have the same relationship with him as he did with his mother, but he respected the man's strength and iron will. Tsuki, for her part, decided to partake in her daily ritual. Sneaking past the unsuspecting civilians, she nimbly climbed up the wall until she reached the roof. She'd taken to doing it ever since she turned five, when her father gifted her her most precious possession. In order to hide her innermost thoughts and secrets, she'd sought out the most secret place she knew -the main house's roof. No one ever made the painstaking effort of going up the wall, and because of the high fence surrounding the house, rarely if anyone ever walked close enough to see it from the street. It was the perfect hiding place, and her small body easily disappeared among the shadows of the night. And while at first, climbing had been incredibly hard -now she could almost do it with her eyes close. Practice really makes perfect.

There, hidden under a roof tile, she retrieved a small, leather book with a plain, dark blue cover. Inside, quite a few pages were already written in a dark, splotchy style, the obvious marks of a clumsy, childish hand, not yet able to fully control its movements. Tsuki turned the pages until she landed on a fresh one. 'Dear Diary' she wrote, 'Today, we learned about creating clones with our chakra. Clones! It took me a few tries to get it right, but Sasuke only needed two tries! He's really strong, you know? We're going to work on it a bit more, because many didn't succeed. And after, I beat Sasuke at kunai throwing! He's really a sore loser, he didn't want to admit he lost (but he did). He's a pain, sometimes. Always Uchihas this, Uchihas that, or my nii-san this, my nii-san that. I hope he's not going to keep saying that all the time. He's becoming haro arrogant, I think. The Uchihas are strong, but they can't be that strong, right?' she paused, absent-mindedly nibbling on her pen. 'They don't let me enter the compound anymore, and it feels wrong. They're always angry, always frowning. I wonder what's going on. Yuki-san told me not to worry, but I can't visit her house now. She doesn't go out much, is she getting old? I don't think she's older than dad, but…she looks stressed. A bit like Naomi-san, the girl who does the laundry. She's always scared mother is going to round out the corner and scold her for being slow or something. She was ok, today. She didn't look at me, and she didn't talk to me. She tried to talk to father, but I think he didn't really want to answer her. And she left quickly after. I think they fought recently. Maybe it will be better tomorrow? That's all for today. Goodnight!'

She closed the notebook quietly, nodding to herself. Another day, another adventure. She could only hope the rest of her life would be forever filled with adventures -with her friends and family right beside her. Tsuki remained behind on the roof a while longer, laying down and enjoying the night breeze while she still could. The heat made it okay to stay and watch the night sky without blankets, but soon winter would come and take that privilege away for the year. Maybe she could drag Sasuke along with her for the last few nights they still had? He always complained about having to train and all, but once they were both settled on the rooftop, nothing else existed but them and the sights. They both treasured these moments as they knew, growing older, they would no longer have so many opportunities to meet and enjoy a quiet moment together. 'Bah, she thought. We'll find the time. And if Sasuke makes up excuses, then I'll just beat him to the ground! We're friends. We'll always be. And friends always make time for each other.' The thought brought a huge smile to her face as she closed her eyes, enjoying the warmth it gave her. 'Yeah. Friends. Forever.'

She fell asleep a few minutes later. Upon going to bid his daughter goodnight and finding her bed empty, Tsubaki sighed and swiftly went to the roof, finding the child curled up around herself and smiling in her sleep. So cute. He shook his head with fondness, delicately taking up her small body into his arms. It took little to no time to carry her back to bed, slipping her shoes off and pulling the blankets over her still form. The tall man leaned over his daughter and softly kissed her forehead.

"Sleep well, my little moon."

She didn't even stir, deeply asleep and lost in the dream realm as she was. Behind the door of her room, Ayano stood quietly, arms crossed, patiently waiting for her husband to exit the place and face her. Her features, carefully blank, couldn't quite hide the disdain and disapproval swirling in her dark eyes. She drummed her fingers on her arm rhythmically, persistently, until at last the man came out and closed the door as quietly as he could. He didn't even glance at her, didn't even acknowledged her presence -though she knew with absolute certitude he had sensed her. She'd hadn't even tried to hide, after all, though she doubted she could still hide from him anymore. He had grown too strong, and she was…

"You're serious about it." She said, staring at his back. "About allowing her to train -to become a ninja." Tsubaki paused in his steps, tensing. He glanced back at her through the corner of his eyes.

"So what if I am?" he replied quietly, a warning in his tone. Ayano ignored it.

"They don't approve," she hissed, willing him to face her. "And neither do I."

"I don't remember asking for your opinion," he half snarled, his anger already rising. How many times had they had this peculiar argument already? Too many to count. "And you of all people should approve what I'm doing."

"Because you know me so well," the woman snarled, her fingers clawing her skin. "How many times did you actually bother to get to know me? Once, twice? As soon as Sora was born…"she paused, and her voice cracked the slightest bit despite herself. "…you stopped looking at me."

Tsubaki turned around this time, something like compassion shining in his dark eyes.

"You are free to leave, Ayano," he said softly. "I gave you permission a long time ago."

"I don't want to and you know why," she replied, clenching her fists. "Why can't you just-" The clan Head swiftly faced away once more, the sharpness of his behaviour feeling like she'd just been stabbed in the chest, and she knew what that felt like. He bade her a quiet 'goodnight', short and sharp, before striding away to his quarters. Ayano remained behind a while longer, shaking as her fingers drew blood on her abused skin. She took one glance at the lone door on the side and her anger vanished, an expression of incredible vulnerability appearing on her face, so fragile and unlike the harsh confidence she usually wore. Quietly, she laid her hand on the soft wood, resting her head fall against it. All was silent and still for quite some time as Ayano slowly gathered her thoughts and feelings, forging the tears in her heart into words in the dead of the night.

"You could have been mine," she eventually whispered, gazing at the floor. "We could have had everything. But you insist on being stubborn and ruining everything…" She closed her eyes.

"Neither of us will be free until the other yields."