Title: The Reality of a Fool's Paradise
Genre: Romance/Hurt/Comfort
Summary: She never understood why he looks at her the way he does, conveying more emotion than any of his actions or words could express, or why his eyes never matched his cold words...
It was at a time such as this when Sakura really wished she wasn't herself. The same young girl who had once had curious, affectionate eyes for such a young boy had her head held up high staring, again, into the young man's back.
She had once hoped her love would fade away and that she could forget the pain and anguish it had brought upon her. She fooled herself into falling onto a safety net of sorts, claiming that she had just wanted to help Naruto save him. That it wasn't because she wanted to be by his side. Yet, time and time again, when she met eyes with him, did she realize it never went away.
She had always been a very sentimental girl, crying a lot when she was younger because of him. Mourning over her feelings, her lack of courage, and her love for this boy who had concealed feelings.
Naruto and Kakashi had always spent more time with Sasuke, whether it was through their training or on missions. It had always seemed like the person with the most fragile connection to him was always her.
Be that way as it may, she had always had a deep feeling of this being mistaken. For all the times he spent time with the others rather than with her aggravating self - she was aware of her irritating persona sometimes - he had given her twice that time staring deep into her eyes.
It was always the silent and unsaid words communicated between the two that formed a connection deeper than connections made with any other.
While Naruto and Kakashi formed bonds with him through their fists and verbal discussions, Sasuke had kept his interaction with her always confidential between them. She felt like she was able to read his reasoning in his actions and his hidden feelings better than anyone else in the team. This is why she felt like she had known him deeper than the others.
At least, that was what she had thought before he cut off these bonds.
After his leaving, she trained vigorously and worked straight under the female Hokage, Tsunade, in order to achieve the strength she needed to bring him back. She resolved this idea in her head multiple times. And to never let these... these punishing feelings get in the way of things.
Besides, how could someone who was so full of hate even consider an ounce of love from her? That was what she had wanted to believe and what she had fooled herself into thinking.
Only did she realize after seeing him did she realize how meaningless her attempts in doing so were.
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Jaded eyes stared exasperatedly at the being that stood before her. Her broken form a considerable distance away from him.
He was walking away again. From everyone... from her. Even after the numerous times doing so before, she never got used to that feeling. The feeling of being left behind again...
The betrayal stinging her and piercing her swollen heart so gruesomely again, more than any pain she had obtained through all the battles she had faced before.
Her shoulders ache with an exhausting use of her arm's muscles in the battle. She was wrong when she assumed the fight was over. The stiffness of the muscles on her forearms was due to her gripping her hands so tightly that her knuckles turned pale white.
Tears stream down her face and her heart could not take it anymore. Her safety net suddenly collapsing. Never before had both her courage and fragility spilled out so raw and unharnessed.
"I... I know in my heart that there's nothing I can do!" Her wounded voice so apparent to her own ears. It was almost pathetic how she even considered speaking up again to him.
"Even though I love you..." she strains, "Even though I care about you so much, Sasuke. And yet... I can't get close to you or exchange blows with you. I can only whine and beg and cry like this again."
"It's so pitiful, isn't it?" She knew it was. There was no need to ask a question that she knew the answer to. Yet she spoke more to berate her own actions for this miserable state of hers.
Steeling her will, she spoke. Her voice showing firmness yet the shakiness all the same.
"But... But Sasuke!" she continues, "If there's even a little corner of your heart that thinks about me, please don't leave again!" Don't leave me... she thinks truthfully because really that's what she had always meant. Transparent heartache.
She felt herself giving her heart out, almost unable to stand the emotion surging through her very veins. Her heart wanting to lurch out of her chest cavity because of the exceeding abundance of the intensity in her words. Her heart had never hurt more.
Her sensei's grey eyes turn to look upon the young lady who he had never seen as emotionally strong before. His wretched eyes sympathizing with her heartbreak as he could feel her grief in her voice.
"If we stick together, I know it can be like old times again..." She wants it to. For everything to just be a really bad dream.
With an almost invisible shake to his ankle, Sasuke comes to halt. She doesn't know if she imagines it. His foot settles into the ground with a lack of his usual iron will.
Without a second to pass, he turns around his head partially in her direction and responds, "You're... really annoying."
Suddenly, the whole world comes to a standstill as her clear jaded eyes make contact with the eyes of the one she loves. Again, she hears the words he had once told her before he left the village.
The beautiful midnight eyes she had once gazed upon while saving her life various times before, had become a hatred filled shade of red and violet eyes filled with enmity. She sees the darker particles of his eyes twitch and move her swiftly to her demise.
She gasps as violet light surrounds her vision in the silhouette of a northern star. She had once loved gazing into those eyes. Yet instead of a thawing sensation, she now feels the burning hate so consciously as she looks in them.
Without warning, she feels rough hands tearing into her flesh. Pain erupting from her chest as she feels the warm blood spill into the open air.
Finally being able to process this, her eyes recognize a hologram of her love in front of her. A genjutsu, she regards. The world halts as she stares into his eyes and she observes an abhorrent look. Yet what she sees bewilders her and calls into question an ambiguous emotion in his eyes.
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Sorrowfulness.
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That's the term she associates the expression on his face closest to.
Unlike all the bitter emotions she's received from his eyes, this look confuses her. She's seen his sincere gazes, his mocking stares, his disinterested glances, his spiteful eyes... she had seen it all. At least that's what she had thought. The look he gives her though is the closest she's felt to him since before his betrayal of the village.
Unable to understand his inconceivable look, the moment ends as if it never happens. Weak breaths escape her.
She had wanted to save him. More than receiving any form of affection from him, she had wanted to save the young boy with the compassionate look in his eyes.
She knew that this was him now, she knew that he wasn't the same anymore, she knew. Yet deep down, under all the vengeful and all the hurting that he's known, she believes he still has the capability of loving others, of recovering.
And she wanted him to experience that. Even if he couldn't love her romantically, she had wanted to save him from becoming corrupt to the point of no return.
She doesn't know anymore if she can anymore.
Remaining tears stream down her cheeks as her eyelids close slowly. The trails leaving an almost unerasable path in its place.
She thinks to herself that this is it. The end of her pain and suffering. How unfortunate and pitiful. The one she had once wished to share her life with practically slaughters her with his apathetic gaze.
This unrequited love of hers is so sad.
Her breath becomes harsher as if she was forced to carry heavier weights every second. Her vision becoming dimmer and colder. She felt her sensibility disentangle with reality slowly.
She had wondered why she even thought such words were gonna get to him. Why did she think that out of everyone - Naruto, Kakashi, Tsunade... - she would be the one to shake some sense into him.
Maybe she had just wanted to try one last time. A farewell, to the boy, she had once known.
Inhaling her last breath does the world turn pitch black on her. Her blossom colored hair sways delicately with the wind.
She tumbles to the ground with thoughts of a once gentle young boy...
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She leaves to go to her fool's paradise.
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Meanwhile, he dwells in his reality.
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TO BE CONTINUED
A/N: Hey, this is my first Fanfic on SasuSaku. I always loved reading fanfiction on this couple and was always really invested in it, hehe. Ofc I became more passionate once they were CANON. This isn't an AU or a new storyline but it is an interpretation of what Sakura and Sasuke were thinking and feeling in this particular scene. This is the scene before Sasuke and Naruto have the final battle in the Valley of the End. I hope you liked the first part!