They stood in the frigid howling air. She counted her breaths by the billows of vapor flying from her nose; her hands flexed inside her gloves. Her eyes were fixed to the door ahead while a lump wound up her throat. She startled when she felt a brush against her arm. Eli leaned into her side and squeezed her hand. The outline of her round stomach poked Nozomi's coat like a sore thumb the closer they grew. A sigh left her unwillingly. She returned the gesture; it calmed her erratic heart if only for a moment.
"Don't be afraid, she must've called us for a reason. If she didn't want us she'd never have said a word."
Nozomi stood in silence. The wind hardened into a frigid cold that burned her cheeks like scraping sandpaper. She felt Eli shiver beside her; her eyes widened. Eli continued quietly.
"If anything happens we can always leave."
She drew a deep breath from the bottom of her lungs and tilted back her head. Her teeth grit, she pressed the bell. After an uncomfortable pause there came the faint sound of shuffling. Next was a lock being fiddled with- her stomach lurched. The door opened as she slipped on a polite smile; the stage was set. An elderly woman stuffed into a bathrobe towered over them. The thinning grey mound that was her hair merged into a knit cap and framed her strong face. Any flecks of blonde it once held had long vanished. Her eyes were a hard pale blue that dimmed the longer they stared. They stood against the wrinkles that carved up her skin.
The line that formed the woman's mouth remained neutral as she spoke flatly. Her eyes locked onto Eli's. She remained blocking the doorway.
"You've gotten much bigger than I'd heard Золотой. How far along are you?"
"Six months grandmother."
"Well you certainly look it. Come inside, the both of you. You've just caught me out the bath, or else I'd have answered sooner."
Nozomi motioned for Eli to go first and followed closely behind. The thickly worn accent of the old woman's Japanese left her ears tingling. Behind her placid expression her mind raced, searching for the barest touch of emotion between them. She soon gave up puzzling it when she shut the door then took Eli's coat. The bottle pressed to her chest under her clothes shifted as she moved. Their shoes were soon removed. Once her turn came, she fished for it and presented it to the woman. Her head was bowed.
"A gift for you, grandmother; it is rapeseed oil." She said humbly.
The old woman inspected the gold liquid behind the glass as though measuring it for war. Slowly she nodded and grabbed it by the neck. Faintly a light of humor sparked on her face.
"Trying to keep me going when you'd really want me out your hair I see."
"Grandmother!" Eli protested from behind them.
"Hush Золотой, she knows I do not mean it. Yell any louder and the baby will kick."
Nozomi maintained a tight lipped smile. Her eyes flit over Eli's defeated face to the living room.
The flat was spartan with crumbling beige walls, a dresser with nothing out of place, and a couch that'd left it's best days behind. In the kitchen one of three basic utilities hung in order on a nailed in wooden rack. She watched the old woman move to retrieve a kettle on the stove top. Her vein lined hand shook on the grip and made Eli's widening eyes lock with Nozomi. She didn't hesitate to step beside her outstretching her hand. Her voice hid a note of alarm so faint beneath placidity it barely existed at all.
"Allow me, grandmother. You should catch up with Elicchi. It's been quite a while."
Their eyes met for second that lasted a minute in her mind as her body tensed. She watched the woman grunt and smirk. It made her mask crack in confusion. They looked to Eli who sat on the couch holding her stomach. The familiar outlines of her face were touched by exhaustion. Her hands absentmindedly rubbed circles onto her stretched out blouse; her eyes were far away in thought. She finally looked up when she heard her grandmother sit in a lounge chair opposite her. Nozomi watched them carefully for a moment, then busied herself with pulling tea from the cupboard.
"Your kind have good ones it seems. She acts like what I'd expect of a husband in these times. She's provided you everything at home no? Or is she simply scared of me?"
Eli's eyes widened when she heard her grandmother's natural Russian above the shuffling sounds of Nozomi at work. Quickly she composed herself and nodded. Her reply was stiff, as though she were peeling rust off gears that hadn't seen use since childhood.
"She has been excellent grandmother. She does everything she can for me, sometimes too much. Often too much. Though we were both afraid when you called for us, I think she wants to look strong towards you."
Nozomi wasted no effort to turn around, though her heart weighed heavy to not understand a word. It hammered faintly in her chest, pulsated under her skin. She buried her hands in the patient task of setting the water to boil as she'd done countless times before. Contentedly Eli's grandmother leaned into her chair. Her worn face carried the dry wit and satisfaction of a strict schoolteacher.
"That is good, a little fear keeps one going in this world. You are looking very well; much better than when we last met."
"Thank you grandmother." Eli said apprehensively. She shrunk back and sat with her feet pointed toward the door.
Her eyes followed her grandmother gesturing toward her stomach. All too consciously her hands shielded it. She winced and braced against the cushion; the bitter memory of a seething rage stung her nerve. Instead, the quiet delight that met her made her face slacken. She cocked her head in confusion at her grandmother's smile.
"It will be a girl, of this I am certain."
"How so?"
"Child your belly is rounder than a full moon. It will be a girl. You'll both see."
For a moment they stared at each other until the sounds of the kitchen lingered too long. Eli's feet slowly shifted toward her grandmother; her muscles relaxed. She felt a faint kick and gasped softly. Reflexively she touched her stomach. Her grandmother laughed and Nozomi briefly looked toward them. When nothing seemed amiss, she turned away. Eli seized the moment.
"Grandmother…why are we here? You were never fond of us together. I don't understand."
Nozomi set down a tray on a small coffee table, breaking the stare between them. She poured a tea blacker than shadows into three cups. The air was silent save for her clinking. Their eyes followed her grandmother taking a long sip. She met them above the cup rim hesitantly. Nozomi pulled up a folding chair and had her fill. The silence cloaked them without fuss and wrapped tightly; as if it were afraid to be pulled off. Minutes crawled by on their knees, until Nozomi stopped drinking her third cup. Eli looked at her over the rim. Her grandmother continued burying her nose deeper into the tea.
"Not enough sugar child, tastes as if you merely boiled the leaves raw."
Nozomi's face pinched and her eyes narrowed sharply. From the corner she saw Eli pursed then stifle a sigh. She settled for staring into the tea as if searching for something in a well before smiling and nodding her way. Nozomi returned the gesture.
"I'll do better next time."
"I should think so. How are you both managing your other affairs?"
They perked their heads up in response. Dumbly they found each other with wide eyed stares.
"Well…I'm kept busy with Elicchi, but I took off of work long ago. The company's fine enough to understand these days."
"What do you do?"
"Real estate. Though, I suppose recently only desk work."
"She's the CEO grandmother! They've sold so much over the years there's several offices now." Eli cut in.
The old woman nodded pensively. Slowly they watched her eyes soften with the suddenness of dawn. It tightened their nerve. She continued.
"You seem to be doing very well, how old are you now?"
"Thirty two."
"Ah that's a mistake. She should've become pregnant ten years ago. Waited too long the both of you." She said clicking her tongue.
They sheepishly lowered their heads, then looked to each other. Their faces mirrored a blush that betrayed embarrassment. Eli fidgeted with her shirt and dropped her gaze to the floor. She stared so intently Nozomi imagined a hole burning through.
"Grandmother…" She chided half-heartedly.
"I had your mother not a year after I was married. That was the way it was done. Anyhow you've come around, it would do little to complain."
They sat motionless and stiffened when she moved to lift the tray. Nozomi sprung from her seat with her arms outstretched. The old woman shook her head, carrying it off. Her footsteps moved painstakingly toward the kitchen. A stubborn will held up her worn clothes, her folding skin collapsing on her bones. Despite themselves they observed her in a quiet morbid curiosity. It made Nozomi's skin itch and burn as something eager bubbled beneath. The impulse gripped her heart then crawled to waggle her tongue like a sock puppet.
"Mrs. Fujimoto why did you call us here? Forgive my restlessness but I imagined it to be…serious."
Eli had rested her chin in a palm and began biting her nails. The old woman stood uncomfortably still. For a pause the silence deafened; it sunk into their clothes, their pores, their hair. She set the tray on a counter and tilted her head. Like a turtle shifting its shell she turned about-face.
"I'm old, child. You both know what that means. There's no need for those feelings the last we met. I've none of the energy for hate left. For pain."
"Grandmother you don't mean-"
"I know what I'm saying girl; it'll get you nothing to repeat it."
Almost hidden from view her fingers trembled. Nozomi's breath caught in her throat; she balled her hands into fists. Her shoulders heaved, her breathing fell ragged. She forced a swallow but shuddered, suffocating. She bit down a cry, and let her tears speak. The old woman frowned, watching her shake, her hair bristle, her eyes strain open, frozen. With the force of a wounded animal leaping before it's nest she snapped her head toward Eli.
Her blood chilled at Eli's ashen face. The spirit in her eyes laid scattered into dust. Instinctively the hairs on her nape stood; a barely stifled sob emerged behind her. The old woman grit her teeth while shameful tears streaked down her cheeks. They splattered, then gathered at her feet, but she remained still. Her voice trembled and cracked as though a death knell hovered over her.
"I wanted…to apologize. You are not wild beasts, yet I feared you as one. You were not unholy savages, yet I refused to lay on you gentle hands. The hate that took me festered until I made family strangers."
They watched her stumble forward, outstretching a hand. Nozomi's eyes drew to her shoulder; pulled by a dazed string. The scent of overpowering age and lavender flooded her mouth. Slowly she returned the embrace, clinging against her clothes. Her touch held, enthralled as a newborn. Her face crumpled like a wall collapsing. She heard the woman's voice so clearly it stabbed her brain. She couldn't blink. Between them she felt a warmth that rattled her nerve.
"I am sorry, I am so sorry."
Eli's weight pressed against their side. It pulled away the numbness paralyzing her thoughts. A whirlwind swelled in her heart without warning. Quietly, knowingly, she rested her head and held them tight. Her voice sighed, a smile bled in.
"Thank you."