Chapter 76s: Parents Are Gonna Be Parents (13 June 2003, at the door of dad's apartment)

"H-hey dad."

As much as I try to instill confidence in my voice, this moment is everything I've been dreading. That expression in his eyes… it reminds me of a drowning cat.

I lean over and give him a hug, trouble by it as much as I've been all the other times I got to give him a hug: that wheelchair makes things so awkward. But at least I don't have to look into his eyes for much longer.

"How have you been? Where's Chris and Clara?"

"Downstairs. I didn't want them to see me to the door.. but they felt I couldn't be trusted to walk the bit from the car to your front door, so they went into the lobby with me. Geez, it's been years since I last ran away from them!"

He is awkwardly hover-handing over my back. There's a first. I heard Jenny talk of this once; she was so surprised I never experienced the hover-hand before. What'd she say? Something about… oh, right. Men being socially awkward.

Well. Duh. That's my dad after his coma.

I see Cain standing in the doorway leading to what is the living room. I give him as angry a stare as possible as I mouth away to him in silence.

'You were supposed to open the door.'

'He didn't give me the chance.'

'He outran you, my proud big brother? I'm sooooo disappointed.'

I stick out my tongue at him, and I can see his shoulders slump as I gain the upperhand in this exchange. Even if I'm not looking to get one over on him anymore, there's alwaay—

The hoverhand turned into a bearlike grip of impending hug-mageddon, and my carefully preserved balance falls forward as I hurriedly grab a hold of the handles of the wheelchair. "Dad!"

Startled, he snaps out of it and lets go, looking a bit ashamed as me as I crawl out of lap and into a proper standing posture once more.

"Sorry. I forgot. You've grown up so much that I forgot how hard it must be to keep your balance for a wheelchair-hug like that."

I smile at him, shaking my head in forced acceptance as I move to take off my summerjacket and hang it on the coat rack. It doesn't take eyes for me to realize Cain is glowering and pissed off at dad for being thoughtless, but that's not exactly new.

"So. Lunch, right?"

It is a bit of an awkward way to transition the conversation, but my stomach is rumbling and it's been a couple of hours since I had breakfast.

"Oh. Yes. Definitely. Cain helped me ready everything. He was a huge help."

Dad extends his arms to the door, wher Cain is, and now I give Cain a smile as I approach him and give him a hug. It may only have been a few days, but it feels like longer. Either way, he still smells like Cain.

His arms wrap around my back in a comforting hug, and I can feel his fingers brushing through my hair.

"New shampoo?"

He noticed? I want to respond, but then someone clears their throat, and our reunion got unfortunately interrupted. I stifle my sigh before dad thinks something is wrong with me, and we finally vacate the doorway to enter the living room.

Wow. Look at all those things. Orange juice. Bread. All sorts of practically untouched jars and containers with marmelade and peanut butter and whatever else. Fresh cheese. Wow.

"… Nii-san, do you two even eat? I think only the marmelade and cheese have been touched before, and practically everything else on that table is utterly new and untouched."

"Dad prefers crackers because it isn't as messy for him."

"Your brother only eats muffins and buns, or fruits like apples and bananas. He is an even pickier eater than you."

Ah… Yes. That sounds like them.

They are both picky eaters. I recall dad gushing that mom elevated her cooking into an art because he couldn't refuse anything she put her effort into.

And Nii-san probably picks those things because he can pick them up and take them away to his room to avoid spending time with dad.

"So where do I get to sit?" I ask the question, but frankly, I already know the answer.

It is going to be the long side of the table. They sit as far from eachother as possible, and it puts all the food within a hands reach for me. Besides, one of the sides is missing a chair, which draws attention to the traces of the wheelchair in the carpet at that particular side, further confirming that is where my dad prefers to sit at the table.

"After you wash your hands, young lady, I figured you would sit over here. It has the best view."

… And it also is right inbetween you two. I knew it.

After I wash my hands, we all get to enjoy lunch.

It is filled with awkward smalltalk. It makes me loathe to admit that I find myself admiring Clara and Chris for their ability to keep a pleasant atmosphere going at the table.

God knows I'm hardly the most social talker around those two.

Maybe I'll give it another shot today.

"So… what are we doing today?"

I am not going to cringe over my own words, even if I really should be doing so. This was more like tossing the conversation 'hot potato' to my dad for him to panic over!

"Well, as you know, Chris and Clara worry that you simply lack a good parental figure in your life…" he starts out, and I can feel the glare coming from the other end of the table right away.

Geez, I could have figured the irony in that statement out without you shining the spotlight on him, Nii-san. I give him a reproving glare, which ends up in him 'apologizing' by putting on a pleasant, harmless socializing smile that I know is as fake as can be.

Fake or not… he's too damn cute, looking like that..!

Thankfully dad carries on without getting too distracted with his antics.

"… and all that made me think back to the dreams Matilda used to have, way back when."

My eyes tear themselves away from cute baka-nii, and I look at dad with questioning in my eyes.

"She always wanted the pair of you to value your heritage, you know. Frankly, she wanted me to do so too, but she knows some rifts cannot be mended. But she did desire for both of you to not just be blinded by your British superiority and also understand the merits of your other."

This makes Nii-san laugh, but even that sounds as if it is filled to the brim with scorn. "That's your viewpoint. She never said such things."

I raise an eyebrow as I listen, trying to think back.. but I was too young to talk about anything that wasn't childishly simply and in that moment. What was she like, really?

Dad however sighs, raising a hand to quell what I imagine can only be the way most of their arguments start.

"Fine. That is my viewpoint. She wanted you to come to appreciate your Japanese heritage. And it was always the intention to raise both of you with the culture in mind, even if that was a concession I made to her and not because I felt it was necessary."

"My father, the oh-so-proud Japanese national. What a perfect symbol of his people."

I can hear Nii-san's sarcasm striking a silence into the conversation. Dad's expression is pained; I can almost feel him forcing down the need to confront Cain.

"Yes, Cain. Thank you for pointing out the fact I am ashamed of my country and the people in it as opposed to the requisite pride so common to the Japanese identity."

He takes a breath, his eyes staying on Cain, and Cain meets them. Were this a cartoon, I would be able to see lightning sparkle and sizzle in front of my face. Guaranteed.

"Either way. Back to the point."

He takes a deep breath as he meets my eyes in particular.

"It is… was Matilda's wish that you would both be raised with a familiarity with Japanese culture, so that if you have the desire to do so later in life, you can explore that side of your heritage. It is also why both of you don't just hold the British nationality as was my own wish; at her insistence we registered each of you as my children when you were born with the Japanese government. Due to the way Japanese law works, this bestows upon each of you the Japanese nationality in addition to your British one."