Chapter 84s: Hell Hath No Fury… (22 August 2003, in the pond by the vacation home)

As I come back up, I splutter and cough, trying to find a moment to get my bearings. Then, to the best of my ability, I utter the very same words yet again.

"There are no weaknesses, I tell you! God! Are you still angry abo…"

Unfortunately, my tormentor disagrees, and history repeats itself.

The water goes everywhere.

In my mouth. Down my nose. Into my airways.

All kind of normal when your head is being forcefully dunked back into the water, really.

It is weird how you find the weirdest thoughts popping up when repeatedly undergoing the wrath of those closest to you. It is as if fear and panic become utter calm. Does Nii-san still wear briefs, or has he finally graduated to boxers? Why are the Japanese masochists? And there's no way Nee-san is still a virgin, is there?

Finally the pressure relents, and I get to surface and splutter for air.

"God, you are so unfair. You are definitely still a virgin!"

Instantly, I return to my familiar world underneath the water's surface as Nee-san once again dunks me in the stream. It is no mountain stream with the sort of clarity like in the movies, but for as far murky british ponds go, it is a deliciously refreshing outdoor spectacle that makes these god-forsaken heat bearable.

But enough is enough! Nii-san bullies, Nee-san bullies, why can't I bully them back?

Before I even realize exactly what I've done, our roles have switched with a fierce splash I could hear while still submerged: now she is the one snorkling pond water. And I am the one looking down as I still try to catch my breath. Nee-san's increasingly top-heavy weight distribution and my fingers being right at her ankles made this far easier than it should have been, especially in the water.

"Enough already! He's got no weaknesses, okay?! Sure, he's got no sense for writing hiragana and kanji, getting わ (wa) and れ (re) and ね (ne) confused when the difference is so obvious! But…! He's stubborn and just keeps at it to the point where I hate him because he keeps giving me that smug self-satisfied grin when I can't properly pronounce something after more than a dozen tries, and even though I want to give up half the time, he just won't let me, continually pushing me until I say it the way I should. So what if I'll have an accent? And then he'll be there to rub it in even more the next morning, by which time I have completely forgotten, and he's just like 'hah I still remember how these strokes go' and I want to strangle him, but no, he has no weaknesses okay?!"

As I finally get to vent all my anger and annoyances at this uncalled-for torture session, I kneel down and grab Nee-san's leg yet again, sending her tumbling backwards right as she had managed to plant her foot down into a standing position again. Alas, it wasn't enough, and once again she falls backwards, but not before angrily retorting at my double-dosed revenge.

"SETTY YOU INCESTUOUS MIDGET!"

That… that's.. that's low..! So low! Mean! God. Nee-san you stupid, stupid…!

Those words just cut so deeply, I don't even know how to get back at her. Stupid Nee-san. Why does she get to have it all? Pretty face, rare red hair, long legs that even Nii-san looks at, not to mention those stupid floating flesh bags that looks so comical as they are the one part of her body above the waterline right now.

"… you stupid, stupid floats-included blowup doll with RATS for BRAINS!"

Somewhere in that rant of painful anger, I jumped on her and punched those floats of hers, which then ended up in her pulling on my hair, and her pulling on mine… and now we're both being dragged out of the water by fake-mom. Fake-mom ruins everything! Always! Couldn't she see I was just about to win and get her to take back those insults?!

"What the hell do you two think you are doing? Seriously, are you trying to kill eachother? If I had come back any later I think one of you would be missing an eye, what the hell is wrong with you two?"

I'm giving Jenny an angry stare, especially as Jenny is the one who wrestles out of fake-mom's grasp whereas her hold on my arm is simply too overpowering. Why is my every problem always rooted in my size and needing to grow up? Gah!

"Time out for you both. Jenny, you take my lounge chair. Setsuka, you come with me and explain exactly what started this."

"But mom, she…"

"Shut it, love. I was asking your sister, not you. Lay down, zip your mouth and pretend to work on your tan lines. I don't want to hear another peep unless I ask you to peep, understood?"

I smile triumphantly towards Jenny, who just gives me another angry glare as mom pulls me to the lounge chair I had abandoned five minutes after sitting down in it earlier. It is far too hot out to sit still and turn my epidermis extra crispy, after all.

Clara has opted to sit down on Jenny's lounge chair, serving as a useful buffer to keep her and me separated. Well, I guess we don't fight all that often, so maybe she's just a single person doing what those Korea's in Asia have got going for them: a no-mans-land where fighting is not allowed.

"So tell me, honey. What happened? And remember: I'll know when you fib."