Ta-da! As promised, it is finished! The burden of over a decade is lifted from my shoulders haha

The kids rattled off an appropriately formal farewell to the parents still at the door and then they made their way back to the house. It was already late, the sky prickling with stars, and they had clearly bypassed the bedtime that was supposed to be imposed.

But it was obvious just looking at the kids as they danced around him and laughed and congratulated each other that bedtime was going to be late tonight. There was too much energy between the two of them, and half-grudgingly he asked if they wanted to find a street vendor for dinner rather than attempt to finish the half-cooked meal waiting at home.

The response to that suggestion had been very enthusiastic acceptance, and so they had made a detour to the nearby shopping district before returning to their path home. Anariel was doling out the purchased variety of stuffed pastries with all the bearing of a benevolent queen. She was clearly riding the high of the successful outing.

He accepted his own as she held it out, but she continued to watch him as he attempted to eat before it got cold. Not that it was impossible to eat with a child staring at him, but he suddenly found he didn't prefer it.

"What is it now?" he wondered, because she definitely intended to say something but he had already expended his full quota of social pleasantries for the day. If not for the week.

"Thank you," she finally said, smiling. "I didn't think he would do it, but he did everything!"

"I think it was only cause Iaewur was the one there," Elbaras put in.

Anariel was nodding. "Papa wouldn't have gotten that far. His parents never listen to anybody. It was like magic!" She was still grinning, all child enthusiasm. "You're amazing."

"Totally amazing!" Elbaras echoed with a jump to turn back to them. Half of his remaining pastry broke off and fell to the ground, thoroughly ignored. "His father was all 'don't you know who I am, peasant' and you were all 'ha, you should be glad you don't know who I am' and got all creepy sounding and we couldn't see you cause you kept holding our heads but I could see their faces and it was awesome."

"Yeah, they looked really afraid," Anariel agreed, but she sounded fully pleased about this and not at all like a child who wondered at the possible implications of an adult being afraid. "It was perfect. Thank you."

"Yes, well." His surprised satisfaction with their assessments was pretty embarrassing, honestly, but the fact remained that it was there.

"And you didn't even have to help us but you did!" Elbaras continued, still winding a precarious backward path. "And now Valiros won't bug us anymore. And then you even bought us dinner! Best night ever."

"Your standards are distressingly low," Sauron said dryly, but if this was all it took to make this particular evening memorable, he supposed he shouldn't complain. It would mean that they should be fairly amenable to whatever he asked for the rest of the time he was in charge of them, right?

It did. He finished cooking the half-prepared meal so that it wouldn't go to waste, and both kids requested a small serving before he determined they really needed to wash up and go to bed. They did so without any complaints, even though Elbaras looked like he had a comment that almost slipped out before he stopped himself.

In the quiet, Sauron settled into one of the armchairs and read the book he had brought along, pointedly ignoring his own good mood at the effusive admiration the kids had thrown at him.

A little reading, a little ignoring the cycling of his own thoughts, and the progressive quieting of the neighborhood finally had Sauron settling into the guest quarters. He wondered when the children would rise. He hoped it wouldn't be before him; he didn't want to know what trouble they could get into while they were still full of victory energy.

He had reason to be worried. When he woke up, he squinted at the overall darkness of his room. There was an edge of blue to the sky that hinted to dawn, but it was earlier than he would have naturally risen. Which meant there must be something going on that had disturbed him.

He swung his legs over the edge of the bed and listened as he tried to push away the last edges of sleepiness. There were noises coming from farther in the house, so something was going on. It was too early to be Haldir's return, so it either meant that something had broken into the house or that the children were up doing who knew what.

As Sauron quickly got dressed, he almost hoped it was something that had broken in. Then if there was any destruction, he wouldn't be expected to shoulder any of the responsibility.

Not that he would accept the responsibility if it was something the kids were doing. But he supposed there would be attempts to foist it on him, and he really didn't want to expend the energy trying to deflect it. Especially not when he hadn't slept as long as he wanted.

The sounds were muffled when he left his room, but it was immediately apparent that, despite his hopes, it was definitely the children. And they were in the kitchen.

People had children by choice, he reminded himself for the innumerable time as he reluctantly approached. People just invited this chaos into their homes and called it a joy and a blessing. He had never found Haldir's choices less understandable.

When he rounded the corner, he found both of the kids poking around the glowing hearth and oven. For half a moment he felt a flare of panic at the very real concern that they could have burned down the house - he had almost managed that with Haldir that once, after all - but there was no smoke or sounds of distress from the kids. There was purpose to their actions, as though they actually knew what they were doing.

"What is going on in here?"

Both heads snapped in his direction. The frozen moment thawed quickly, Anariel grinning as Elbaras turned back to the stone oven. "Breakfast!" she said cheerfully.

"What are you doing making breakfast now?" he wondered, coming closer to inspect the state of the kitchen. Now that the fire concerns were momentarily alleviated, he could notice the dishes and cutlery littering the counter.

"Adults get up so early," Elbaras said, half-grumpily. Sauron immediately got the feeling that this had all been Anariel's idea. "So we had to get up earlier."

"So we could get up before you and try to finish. But we weren't fast enough."

"Or quiet enough," Sauron muttered, mostly to himself, as he looked to determine what was actually cooking. "What is it?"

"A recipe from Papa's family!"

Sauron could feel the grimace trying to pull across his face. He'd seen enough of that family's culinary skills. "Great."

"Lalaith taught me how to make it," Anariel said proudly, pointing to the pot cooking over the embers.

"Ah." Okay, that was admittedly a different story, but it was still being prepared by children. And children of Haldir's, for that matter. He eyed the pot warily. "What's in there?"

Anariel explained the ingredients and what they had done before he had woken up. By the time she finished, he did feel a little bit better about the whole situation, but he was still solidly reserving his judgment until it was finished.

"So, why exactly did you decide to do this?"

"Anariel told me we should," Elbaras said dryly, which earned an elbow to the side from his sister.

"You agreed," she said.

The boy sighed. "I agreed last night. I wanted to un-agree this morning when you tried to get me up."

"Then be more careful about giving out your word," she sniffed, turning to stir the pot. The gesture was clearly meant to dismiss her brother's complaints.

"She thought we could take care of breakfast so you didn't have to," Elbaras said, looking back at Sauron over Anariel's head. "Cause you helped us last night, so this way we could do something to help you."

Sauron turned this over. He was, admittedly, getting more practice with the whole process of people just doing helpful things without it being expected or demanded, but it still took a moment to place this situation in that scenario. From what he understood of children, they were less prone to this sort of behavior than older individuals.

But they were certainly doing it now.

"Well, that wasn't expected," he finally said, which was true. "But I guess since you've started, we will just see how it turns out."

It was absolutely not appreciation and it hardly approached approval, but Anariel beamed. Even Elbaras cracked a grin.

He waved his hand toward the hearth. "Let me know when it's done," he said before disappearing back to his room.

The house was now full of early morning light, so he took advantage of the time to begin packing the few belongings he had taken out during his time there. Whenever Haldir and Raudwen returned, he wanted to be prepared to leave as quickly as he could. There had been quite a lot of social engagement required within the last day, and he was ready to truly have some time to himself again.

After setting the bag by the door, he had returned to the kitchen to find Anariel and Elbaras preparing plates.

"Good timing!" Elbaras said, bringing over a plate to Sauron. He extended his arms fully above his head, the meal precariously shifting across the plate.

Sauron snagged it from his hands before any of the egg concoction could slide to the floor. "Maybe," he said, dubiously looking at the unappetizing presentation. Not that his standards in that area were particularly high given his own habits, but still. Participating in the full cooking process evidently counted for something.

He took a seat and assessed the plate. The eggs were mixed with an assortment of vegetables and meat; all the ingredients were at least passable, even if the mixing process had resulted in a more muddied color than was ideal. At least the toast - blessedly simple toast - looked the way toast should look.

The kids were clearly attempting to look uninterested in his reaction as they completed preparing their servings, but their attention was blatant.

He sighed. He told himself he wasn't going to spare their feelings. It didn't look great. If it didn't taste great, he was going to say so. He didn't owe them anything. The whole fiasco last night was what happened when kids were led to believe they were more skilled and important and special than they were. He wasn't going to add to that.

Another, quieter part of him really hoped it was palatable enough that the truth wouldn't be harsh.

He took a bite. He chewed. Didn't immediately reach for the water. Considered.

"Well, it's food," he finally determined with a shrug. If he didn't look too long at it, it was pretty decent.

From the grinning of the kids, he would have thought he had effused compliments. They quietly congratulated each other, even Elbaras' earlier grumpiness apparently fully forgotten in the face of another success, before bringing their own plates over to join him at the table.

The meal was wrapping up when the front door opened. "We're home!"

Both kids immediately launched themselves out of their seats and blazed a path to the front. Sauron remained at the table as he continued with his meal; it had grown on him as he ate, but he didn't think letting it cool any further would improve its appeal.

When Haldir turned the corner, he was walking as though he had just spent the entirety of his time away riding a horse. One child was attached to each leg. They were all laughing together, one big idiotic conglomerate.

Sauron pressed down hard on the laugh that wanted to slip out at the sheer stupidity of what he was looking at. He didn't always win that battle, but surely his pride had made enough concessions over the last day.

Haldir was still chuckling, ruffling the kids' hair, when he reached the table. "The house is still standing," he observed.

Sauron nodded. "And the children, as you see, are alive."

"Ah, full success, as expected of the multi-talented Iaewur," Haldir said with dramatic brightness.

A huff of a laugh did not count as a laugh Sauron quickly decided when it snuck out. "Obviously, as anybody with sense would expect."

"Looks like I should have been here earlier if I wanted to enjoy any of your equally skillful home cooking," Haldir said dryly as he assessed the table.

"Oh, no need to feel disappointed. You're progeny made this," he replied around a mouthful of food.

Haldir raised a brow and looked down at his children. They were fairly expressionless suddenly, and Sauron wondered if they weren't supposed to be doing such things in the kitchen regardless of their apparent ease there. Haldir looked back to him with a brow raised. "Child labor? Is that what you're going for now?"

Sauron settled back into the chair and waved his spoon to dispel Haldir's accusation. "They volunteered. As thanks. Because I'm the absolute best, clearly." He looked at the kids. "Isn't that right?"

"Yeah!" both kids said in unison before launching into regaling their successes from the previous night.

Haldir looked increasingly bewildered by what he was hearing, which admittedly had its own entertainment value. Raudwen had entered the kitchen by this point as well, and she was laughing before the kids had even gotten through half the tale.

As Haldir continued to ask follow up questions, Raudwen slipped over to the table and set a hand on Sauron's shoulder. "Thank you," she said, smiling. "I know you're not overly fond of kids."

"An understatement," he said truthfully.

Raudwen laughed. "You and me both somedays, let me tell you," she admitted conspiratorially, still laughing.

He allowed her the edge of a smile. She wasn't offended at all, but he hadn't expected her to be. Sauron wondered a little, not for the first time, at these individuals who were accepting of him by choice. He got to be more like himself than he had in ages, and somehow there were people who seemed genuinely happy to deal with that.

"I would have just been happy to have them in one piece when we returned, but seeing them like this is… wonderful. They've always been so curious about you, you know."

"They're unlikely to have too many struggles in their lives given the current state of things," he reasoned. "I might as well pose a challenge."

Raudwen rolled her eyes, but she was still smiling. "Well, you've succeeded, so they were pretty excited at the idea of having time with you, regardless of how much we tried to limit their expectations." The mirth in her expression tempered into something warmer, more sincere. "So thank you. Truly."

Ah, gratitude. Hadn't he already had to puzzle through the kids expressing that this morning? Now he had to figure out how to field it from an adult as well?

Eventually, he gave her a tight nod. "Whatever warning you told them must have been enough. They were pretty manageable."

She squeezed his shoulder once, accepting the response for what it was, before she moved to get the kids' attention. "Since you both seem to think you know so much about the kitchen, I think it's time you learn a bit about cleaning it up as well," she said as she shooed them away from Haldir and toward the mess they had left.

They didn't even put up a complaint as they continued sharing about their evening. Raudwen looked happy to indulge them, and it didn't escape Sauron's notice that she did little to prompt them to help more when the intensity of their storytelling distracted them.

"I'm not even sure where to start."

Sauron looked up at Haldir. The elf looked amused and puzzled and suspicious in turns, which, honestly, wasn't that uncommon of a set of emotions for him. Sauron raised a brow. "That's assuming there is a need to start anywhere."

Haldir slowly nodded. "You know, you make a fair point."

"How dare you accuse me of being fair," Sauron said with mock offense as he stood up. "I'm leaving immediately."

Laughing, Haldir walking with him to the door. "Don't pull something while stretching for that escape."

"Oh, I'm already mentally half out the door," he admitted as he shouldered his pack. "No stretching needed."

"Well, if it required that much for you to stay, that makes how happy they are even more remarkable," Haldir said, folding his arms. "I'll admit, I knew things would be fine, but I wasn't sure how the day would actually go. I can't say I'm terribly surprised they warmed up to you like that."

"I was. But apparently their father said I was something like an uncle, so I imagine that might have had something to do with it."

Haldir watched him for a long moment, perhaps in an attempt to assess what he thought of this. Sauron kept his expression neutral until Haldir shrugged with fake nonchalance. "I mean, for all intents and purposes?" he said, spreading his hands. "They have eyes. They can see that I'm closer to you than their actual uncles. The analogy seemed fairly apt."

Why had Sauron even brought up the uncle thing? He'd already been uncomfortable navigating the whole gratitude bit, and then it was like he had decided that, no, actually, it wasn't uncomfortable enough and what the moment really needed was more feelings. Granted, he did tend to have a bad sense for when to stop while he was ahead.

He made a derisive noise to try to dismiss Haldir's logic. "Yes, a very fitting analogy to apply to the abrasive presence with occasionally murderous intentions."

"That does sort of summarize the behavior of a bunch of the more famous uncles in Middle-earth, though," Haldir pointed out. "Sooooo… I still think I'm pretty solid."

It was absurd enough that Sauron did not try to hold back his laugh this time. He shook his head. "I suppose neither of us has claimed that thinking is your strongest point," he conceded.

Haldir's expression was exasperated, but whatever follow up comment he planned to make was derailed by the arrival of the kids. They were varying levels of soapy wet, so they must have been to the washing part of cleaning up. He felt grateful that he had put his rules in place the day before; neither attempted to fully approach him.

"You're leaving?" Anariel asked, though it was less of a question and more of a resigned statement.

"Your parents have returned," he said by way of explanation.

"But you could probably stay if you wanted," Elbaras pointed out. "When you're here, our parents normally are, too, after all."

"Kids," Haldir said, his earlier exasperation now funneled toward his children, "let the guy go home, okay?"

They both nodded reluctantly. Anariel managed a small smile. "Thanks again for your help."

"Yeah, thanks!" Elbaras echoed. He adopted a dramatic battle stance. "Now that Valiros is out of the way, everybody can enjoy the park."

"Yeah, Iaewur is sure an equalizer," Haldir drawled. "That's always been your goal, hasn't it? Full equality and fair treatment. Making sure nobody is controlling things and getting more power than anybody else. Classic Iaewur."

"Oh I'll equalize your-" Sauron briefly glanced at the children and felt the obnoxious realization that this was not an audience he could say that full thought in front of. Haldir's coolly triumphant smile almost made him reconsider.

The kids were evidently unfazed. Elbaras seemed to have latched on to the general sentiment her father had expressed, fully oblivious to the sarcasm. "Yeah, full equality! Everybody the same! That's what he did for us."

"Like a hero," Lalaith said, grinning up at him.

Elbaras bounced closer and fairly shouted his agreement. "Yeah! Like that!"

Haldir looked like he wasn't sure what to think of his children drawing this conclusion, which would have been vindicating if Sauron didn't also feel wildly unsure of what response he wanted to settle on. Probably best to just let the moment pass and hopefully not have to think about it again.

"Like somebody who just wanted to get the evening wrapped up anyway," he allowed. The kids were still standing there, keeping just enough distance to maintain the rules he had put in place, and still smiling as though they really did think his actions the night before warranted any sort of honor.

Before he quite knew what he was doing - the whole event had been just busy enough and he had apparently unburied just enough that he was going to have to do a little introspection and it all had thrown him off just a smidge, obviously, or this definitely wouldn't have happened - he lifted his hands and gave each kid an awkward pat on the head.

It was awkward for him. It had to be awkward - oh he hoped it was only awkward, and not amusing, because he really didn't need to hear about it - for Haldir. But judging by their beaming faces, it did not register as such to the kids.

Hm.

Nope. Not assessing it. He pivoted sharply and opened the door. "Bye."

"Bye!" Anariel replied.

"Bye Uncle Iaewur!" Elbaras called.

Sauron whirled around and leveled a finger at the boy even as Anariel slapped her brother's arm. Haldir was grimacing, nose scrunched up like he'd eaten something sour. "Oh, I hate it," he muttered. "Nevermind, theory is solid but I don't wanna hear it in practice at all."

Sauron was placated enough by Haldir's response, which he filed away, to shift from pointing at Elbaras into giving a slice of a wave before slipping out the door.

It was still too early for there to be many people out, and the road was nearly deserted. He took a deep breath as he started back toward his own home.

So. Babysitting. Not something he had ever put on his list of things to do during his existence, but he supposed it was marked off now. And overall successfully, no less, given the responses of both the parents and children. As he waited for a cart to make its way through the road before crossing, Sauron figured that meant he would probably be on the list for consideration in the future.

He really hoped it wouldn't come to that. But, thinking about the admiration on the kids' faces and how relatively little it had taken to put it there, he didn't feel as opposed to the idea as he had before.

Besides, Haldir had revealed his discomfort with hearing the uncle title a little too openly. Sauron smiled to himself. If he could get over his own aversion to it, it might make for good torment fodder.