The Best Work of the KPA
Tom woke up as soon as the cold water hit him full force.
"Wuh-what?" He groaned as he came too and quickly realized that he wasn't in his apartment in New York.
Someone yelled in a foreign language, Tom thought it might have been Mandarin, and then he was struck hard in the stomach with a baton.
In the darkened room there was some rustling, along with the sounds of Tom wheezing in pain, and then a light came on.
Tom's brain then took in a lot of information all at once.
Like how he was trussed up in an elaborate stress position that left him vulnerable to virtually any kind of attack, or that he was in a bland looking room with a small number of foreign military personal, along with of all things his two ex-girlfriends from High School.
"Hello Tom," Jane said sweetly, "Sleep well?"
"What's happening?!" Tom exclaimed, "Why are you doing this?!"
Daria grinned, and then Tom knew he was in serious shit.
Jane continued to speak for everyone in the room, "Well what's happened is that your apartment was filled with knockout gas, then you were put into a bodybag and stuffed onto an international flight to a country where Daria and I have been residing since we met the love of our lives."
"Yeah," Daria chimed in, "And when he found out about our little 'teenage drama' with you, well..."
Daria was interrupted by the sounds of boots marching, and she and Jane turned around just in time to see the door to the room open.
The soldiers in the room stiffened and saluted as two more soldiers entered, followed by a short, fleshy faced Asian fellow that Tom recognized after a minute's stare.
It then clicked in his inbred head that the uniforms on the soldiers were of the Korean People's Army.
Or the armed forces of North Korea.
"You... you!" Tom stuttered at Kim Jong-un even as Daria and Jane both went to his sides and he kissed them both passionately.
Kim Jong-un smiled and said something in Korean to one soldier wearing a smock.
The guy in the smock then lifted a tarp off of a nearby table and Tom pissed himself when he saw what had been hidden.
Tom began screaming for mercy even before they started to work on him.
Meanwhile the good soldiers of North Korea had set up comfortable chairs and snacks for the Supreme Leader and his new mistresses, and a good time was had by all.
Except Tom, but he didn't count.