Free Eats
Jane stared aghast at her best friend, Daria Morgendorffer.
It wasn't that they were at school, nor that her friend was standing nonchalantly near her locker.
The thing that had Jane aghast was the fact that her friend was wearing a blue belly shirt with a cutesy deer on it, along with a pair of skin tight jeans and white sneakers.
"Did the bodysnatchers strike Lawndale?" Jane managed to ask (once the crowd of hormonal boys parted).
Daria shrugged, "No, but Artie's skin stealing alien babes told me where to get a great deal on scrunchies."
"...Why Daria? Why?!"
Daria actually smiled, "Because last night I asked Quinn a question that I've always wanted to ask."
"What's that?" Jane asked out of very morbid curiosity.
"I asked her why she really goes on all those dates, and trust me when I say that the answer will have you dressing this way too."
"...Ok I'll bite." Jane said after a full minute of processing all this.
"The whole 'popularity' thing is just a by-product," Daria replied casually, "The real reason that Quinn dates so much is simply to score decent food that doesn't come in frozen lasagna form. That's it."
Jane's jaw dropped.
"I had that same reaction." Daria said to her silently staring friend.
Jane's eye's bugged out, her jaw still dropped.
Daria just waited patiently.
"...That is the most brilliant idea in the history of ever!" Jane breathed.
"I know."
"Why the hell didn't we think of that?!"
Daria just shrugged, "Dunno." beat, "Wanna get in on the act while it's hot?"
"...Can you get one of the guys to take me to the mall? Like right now?!"