When Gay Marriage Bans Go Horribly Wrong
"Huh, Daria?" Jane asked as she stared at what was going on around her in total shock.
"Yeah?" Daria managed to croak.
"What the fuck is with everyone having sex in public?! And ohmygod is that Mr. O'Neill with Tad Gupty?!"
"You don't watch a whole lot of news. Do you?" Daria yelled over the sounds of Upchuck scream-moans as Li worked him over with a cattle prod.
"Why would that matter?"
"You remember that attempt by the Republicans to pass an amendment that bans gay marriage?"
"It passed, right?" Jane asked, then after Daria nodded in the affirmative went, "So how does that relate to... Wow, I didn't think that Mack was into dudes!"
Daria just shook her head and muttered something about glass closets before saying more loudly, "Well the Grand Old Party didn't put a whole lot of thought into the wording of the amendment and rammed it through as fast as they could."
Jane would have raised an eyebrow, if she hadn't be distracted by the sight of Mack and Kevin going at it like woodchucks.
"The way the amendment was phrased, it accidently caused all sex laws to only be applicable to a valid, heterosexual marriage."
Jane's jaw dropped, and not just because she spotted what Jodie and Andrea were using a huge carrot stick for.
"...No way." Jane breathed.
"Way," Daria replied as she spotted Brittany making out with Mr. DeMartino, while Ms. Defoe made out with a different part of his anatomy, "Now the only way any of this would be illegal is if it was being done by a man and a woman who were married together."
Jane stared quietly at the mass orgy for a minute before her face contorted with a devilish grin.
She put an arm around Daria's shoulders and said, "Come with me Ms. Morgendorffer."
"Why?"
"We're going back to my place since there's something I think we've both wanted to do for quite some time."
"...What's that?" Daria asked with trepidation.
"You'll see..."
"Wow..." Trent drawled as he cradled Daria and Jane closer to him as the slumbered. "I think I'm going to like this new law..."
As he said that, millions of Conservative Christians all across America were having the opposite reaction to all this.
At least the sincere (non-hypocritical) ones were.
The rest were indulging in sin like there was no tomorrow.
But for the sincere ones, they now faced a task even more difficult than getting that Gay Marriage Ban amendment passed.
Getting it repealed!