The usual disclaimers apply. This is fan fiction and I do not claim to own the Harry Potter universe or any of the characters or places that appear in the original books.
Day at the Beach
It was a hot summer morning at a holiday house in Kent. James Potter was lying in bed, holding up a mirror.
"Lily, can Sirius drive up to Margate to see us later?" He shouted at his new wife, who was brushing her teeth in the bathroom.
"Really? It's been three days, James... Can't you go that long without seeing him?" She asked, poking her head into the bedroom.
"Three days with your sister and that buffoon of hers seem like eternity…" James sighed. He looked at his wife with pleading eyes.
"Fine." Lily said with an eye roll and paused. "But can you try to get on better with Vernon? It was my…" James interrupted her, somewhat impatiently.
"I know, I know. Your mum's dying wish for us all to get on better." He muttered
They drove up to the beach. With Vernon behind the wheel, it took them ages. James had never driven a car but was convinced that he could get them there faster.
His mood did not improve when they got to the beach. His sister-in-law Petunia wanted to play volleyball with a beach ball. James hated it. No matter how hard he punched or threw that thing, it just got caught in the wind and floated away. And if that was not bad enough, the rest of them were useless at it. It only made him miss Quidditch.
He could not wait for Sirius to get there. He missed him. Between James' new marriage and Sirius running all kinds of missions for the Order, they barely got to see each other lately. Let alone had any real fun.
Finally, he heard a familiar sound. A sound of a motorbike horn being pressed needlessly. He turned and saw Sirius skidding down the little slope that separated the beach from the road. He gave James and Lily long hugs, before turning to Petunia. He took her hand and kissed it.
"Enchanté." He said and gave her a little bow. Petunia chuckled. James could swear she was blushing.
"And who are you?" Vernon muscled in.
"That's James' best man, dear. You remember. From the wedding." Petunia said, smiling at Sirius. She was definitely blushing now. Lily turned to James.
"Could he tone it down a bit? Tuney doesn't realise he's like this with everyone." She whispered. James shrugged.
"She'll have to figure it out one day." He whispered back to Lily.
"I'm going to get some ice cream. Anyone wants anything?" Sirius asked casually. Petunia took a step towards the ice cream truck when Vernon spoke, rather sharply.
"We've all had ice cream already, thank you." He said. Petunia looked at Sirius and then at her husband and decided to stay. James could not help but chuckle. He found Vernon obnoxious and enjoyed watching him squirm. Sirius' presence was clearly driving him mad.
Sirius was being Sirius. He was in shorts, his shirt was completely unbuttoned, and he was sporting a brand-new pair of aviator sunglasses. Vernon, on the other hand, was wearing an old-fashioned linen suit with a maroon tie, which made him look good twenty years older than he was. He was also sweating profusely.
"Can you have a look to see if they have any fruit?" Asked Lily, in an attempt to break the awkwardness.
"What does he even do?" Asked Vernon few minutes after Sirius had left.
"Few things. Here and there." Lily shrugged. Vernon did not look convinced.
"He looks like a criminal…" He growled. Petunia was still in a haze.
"I think he looks like a rockstar." She gushed. This was too much even for James. He began laughing uncontrollably. Luckily, Sirius was soon back, which put an end to the conversation. He tossed Lily a whole mango.
"What am I supposed to do with this? It's not even ripe." She said, bemused. James saw his opportunity to get out of there.
"I know what to do with this." He grabbed it and threw it back to Sirius. He then jumped up and began rotating his shoulder. Sirius rolled his eyes.
"Absolutely not." Sirius smirked. But James was not going to let it go.
"Pleeeease. I miss it. Just couple of throws."
"You play rugby?" Vernon turned to James.
"Kind of." James replied, giggling.
"I was on my school team. Best in the county we were." Vernon said proudly. Vernon was not going to miss an opportunity to brag. Not after what happened earlier.
James looked at Vernon and then at Lily, who was nodding encouragingly.
"Let's go then." He said and they set of for the jetty. The ground was flatter there.
They could not have been throwing the mango around for more than few minutes when Vernon slipped and fell into the water. It was so predictable that it was not even funny. James looked over the edge and when he did not see Vernon resurface, he dived after him. He grabbed him by his shoulders and began dragging him towards the shore. Vernon was even heavier than he looked. Thankfully, Sirius swam towards them to help.
When they got to the beach, Vernon was quite a sight. He was spitting sea water. His linen suit was completely transparent and sticking to him like glue. His shoes were squeaking. Petunia looked horrified.
"You could have drowned!" She shrieked.
"I was fine. They just overreacted. Pair of show-offs." Vernon growled back at her, freeing himself from James' and Sirius' grip. Without another word, he stormed off into a nearby beach hut.
He hung his suit on the door to dry. Petunia tossed him her sundress so that he did not have to sulk in there completely naked.
"Stupid git. Should have left him to drown." James muttered to Sirius.
"Will have to teach him a lesson." Sirius whispered. He looked around. "Might as well go for a swim, since I'm all wet." He said unnecessarily loudly and set off towards the water.
The rest of them were left sitting awkwardly on the beach. Petunia was looking at James suspiciously. He got the distinct feeling that she was trying to decide whether Vernon's fall was truly accidental. Vernon embarrassed her and she looked like she was desperate to blame it on someone else.
Suddenly, she looked towards the hut and shrieked.
A big black dog was running away from it, all of Vernon's clothes in his mouth. Vernon flung the door open and run after it. The sundress was doing nothing to protect his modesty. Even Lilly could not help but laugh.
"Stop laughing." Barked Petunia.
"I'm not, I'm just... clearing my throat." Replied Lily, blushing. But Petunia's mood changed in an instant. The flirty, easy-going Petunia was gone. The sour, jealous Petunia that James had only seen glimpses of, had surfaced.
"Your friends did this! I'm sure of it." She yelled at Lily and set off after Vernon.
Lily turned to her husband.
"Sirius' animagus form doesn't happen to be a large black dog, does it?" She tried to sound furious but could not help to chuckle a little.
"If it was, would you be mad?" James asked tentatively, remembering his promise from earlier. Lily shook her head.
"Even mum would find this funny. He really is a buffoon." James looked at her and smiled. He could have never imagined that it was possible to love someone quite this much. Lily smiled back at him. "I'm sure Tuney will get over it one day…"
Spoiler alert: Petunia did not get over it.
Written for HPFC Summer Celebration Challenge. Prompts:
Object: beach ball
Activity: getting ice cream
Dialogue: " 'Stop laughing.' / 'I'm not, I'm just... clearing my throat.' "
article of clothing: sundress
food item: mango