CHAPTER 3

This is outrageous!"

Miranda huffed from where she was going over her data pad with my test results. "Your scans are all clear. The cybernetics seem to be responding well."

They'd come to help me become decent enough for a 'public' soiree and to help pack what little belongings I had in the makeshift apartment. To be honest, I wasn't heartbroken about leaving Earth. Even if I would be able to see it outside my window until they managed to steer the Citadel again. I'd spend my whole life on a shit-hole of a colony and even that I couldn't care less about. Because Slavers – yeah.

"I refuse to do this!"

Liara was sipping something pink and sparkly on my couch as she flicked earth channels and muttered about nothing decent being on.

"Death first!"

Both women turned to me with narrowed gazes. It was Liara who finally sighed and put down her drink before making her way to where I stood stubbornly in front of the full length mirror. "Jane, they are just shoes."

I wielded the torture devices with the pointy end in her face. "THIS is not a shoe. THIS is a weapon."

"Then it should be completely up your alley." Miranda came over and pull the suede heels from my gasp and carefully primped them back into shape. "Mmmm, soft. They seem terribly comfortable."

"Said the dominatrix who kills mercenaries on heels."

Liara took my shoulders and gently maneuvered me onto one of the seats as Miranda put them down in front of me. "You are a diplomat now. More than that, you're the face of all humanity in all the galaxies. I don't think you can do that in your N7 armor."

"It worked when I was saving their collective asses."

"Come on Commander," Miranda put her hand on her hip and glowered at me. "It's just a party. Just a few hours. You didn't sweat that excursion with Kasumi and the leather dress."

"The what?" Liara perked up.

I was mentally ripping perfect Miranda's hair out while she launched into the entire episode of me forgetting to cross my legs while wearing a dress. What the hell was I supposed to do? The leather trap hadn't let any air in otherwise!

Gritting my teeth, I mustered up what was left of my bravado and slipped my feet into the contraptions that would give me at least three inches. As I stood, my entire world tilted and Liara yelped before wrapping an arm around my shoulders. "Uh…I think she's going to need an escort."

I blinked up at her. "Huh?"

"Someone's arm to keep your balance?"

Horror filled my veins as Miranda brought up her omnitool. "I hope Alenko has a suit."

"Don't you dare!" I snatched at her, but the woman grinned manically and stepped out of my reach.

If the heels didn't kill me, I knew their supposed 'help' in getting a life, would.

The swearing in of all the Council members hadn't been so hard. Mostly quiet clapping, maybe a cheering explitive or two. Thanks Jack. There was a small memorial service for the ones we'd lost. There had been tears. I mostly motored through them in silence. Through both the ceremony and the service. Garrus had slid one arm around my shoulders at one point and something had unwound itself slowly. "Meet me at the bar," he murmured into my ear and I burst out laughing.

The Delatrass swearing in the new members forgot her lines.

Oops.

The party? It was insanity. My face hurt from trying to smile so hard. All I had wanted to do, since the moment Kaiden escorted me into the huge hall, was run away. People greeted me with various sentiments from condolence, to congratulations, gratitude, a mating request, some autographs to blunt awe.

I had mostly only shuttled from the hospital to the council chambers to my apartment in the past year. To be faced with so many people sent ants crawling under my skin. Amid the party goers I saw Garrus surrounded, but managed to meet my eyes a few times and offer me a smile, even a raising of his glass. But there was really no room to mingle. Or even escape.

"Would you like a drink Com..er…Jane?"

And yeah. There was my escort. I took a deep fortifying breath and turned my saccharine smile to the man who's arm I clung to as if my life depended on it. And it did. "If you so much as take a step away from me, I will biotic slam you out of the window."

Kaiden's eyes widened. "Wow, I almost forgot how violent you can be."

Narrowing my eyes on him, I snorted. "You did dump me two years ago. Wait a while; it'll catch up on you."

Flushing, the man cleared his throat and looked around as people milled around us of all race and color. "Ahem. I…uh…well I did try to…on Mars, but you…"

"Really?" I raised an eyebrow. "Comparing me to a Cerberus Husk was trying?" He flinched almost like I'd hit him. Maybe I had. I felt like a heel. Painful and wicked as the one I was wearing. With a sigh, I touched his hand. "Yes Kaiden, I would like a drink. I will do my best not to talk about carnage or reave or anything on our way to bar. Just don't let go of my hand until we get there."

Clearing his throat, he slid a finger into the collar of his collared shirt. "Appreciate it." But he didn't seem at all placated by my promise. I supposed it was pointless to pretend at this anymore. When he maneuvered me to the stool, I fell into it more exhausted than when they'd found me under the Citadel rubble.

We ordered drinks, but neither of us had anything to say. So we were both grateful when a fellow Spector came to ask Kaiden for a chat. Letting out a deep breath, I eyed the door and wondered how far it was.

"I'll distract them, you make a run for it."

Smiling, I turned to see Garrus leaning his elbow on the bar beside me, his trusty blue visor flickering, his mandibles spread into a grin. "Thank god for you." And I meant it. It had become infinitely easier having him beside me. Where Liara was too shadowy to be around, Wrex king of all things Urdnot and Miranda still untrusted for her Cerberus connections, having Garrus around chased away the mad whispers to damn it all and hide under my bed.

"It's the scars, remember?" My Turian friend smirked and slid a hand over his crest in a pin-up poster 'Turian' come hither.

Bursting out laughing, I swiveled my stool around to face him, chin in my hand as I cleaned my elbow next to him. "Uh huh. Do women usually fall for that?"

"Yes…um…and this voice." He rumbled low and leaned closer with a wink.

Shoulders shaking, I took his hand. "So what's the plan, partner?"

Head tilting around, he let his eyes scan the crowd around him before pulling me to my feet. "We might have to be discrete. Think you can keep up?"

My eyes widened when I realized where he was pulling me. I felt my heel dig in as I resisted. "What are you doing?"

"Dance with me Councilor Shepard."

"Garrus, don't you dare…"

Turian strength be damned, I was already dragged and swung into his arms on the dance floor as people made room for us. "You're going to pay for this Vakarian," I ground under my breath as he pulled me closer, one hand wrapped around mine as the music flowed easily around us. A few people smiled. Some rolled their eyes. There was a glare or two. I saw Kaiden's agape mouth as Garrus carefully and perfectly spun me around in an easier, albeit unsteady version of the waltz.

"Promises, promises Councilor. Besides, after seeing you dance no one will remember you weren't around for later."

"I hate you."

Circling us carefully and as skillfully as he could with a woman who had two left feet stuffed into three inch heels, he met my eyes resolutely. "Haven't really had a time to talk since before the last push."

I wanted to melt into a mushy little puddle for a moment. Like those kids who held out until they got home and then fell into a slobbering mess the moment their mother said 'hi honey'. But it was true. We hadn't had time to talk to each other. And after the Normandy's return, I'd barely had time to meet them all at once, what to talk of individually. Truth is, there were very few people I had leaned on during the Reaper war. Liara and Garrus has been two of three. The third was my pilot and he was so hard to bring to the ground. Where Liara and Miranda checked in on me regularly, the council had been keeping Garrus and I pretty busy for the past months. So yeah.

I didn't realize how much I had missed him until he said the same. Not in so many words, but I knew.

"God Garrus, what am I doing?"

"Your best, as always."

Lifting up weary eyes, I met his blue gaze. "I really thought there'd be a beach. And maybe an umbrella. A lemonade."

"Wide brimmed hat?" He grinned.

My chuckle was halfhearted and sardonic. "Maybe. Mordin collecting shells by the water."

It was jolting. His hands tightened on me, his growl reverberating through me and the crowd around us. I stared up at him as my best friend turned Councilor turned Archangel. The glare he leveled at me sent chills down my spine as he stepped away, wrapped one hand around my wrist and unceremoniously dragged me out of the hall. Amid the murmurs of surprise he pulled me out onto one of the balconies beyond the windows.

"Garrus?"

"Are you really that sorry you survived?"

Startled, I stumbled against the railing. Eyes darting to a group of people huddled on the other end of the balcony, I looked up at the hunkering Turian now baring down on me. To my horror, Garrus sent another snarl at the other occupants of the balcony and they went scuttling in without a backward glance. Something heated inside me and I felt a confusing little hitch in my breath as Garrus swung his blue eyes back to me. And pinned me.

He didn't speak and I knew he was waiting for an answer. I hadn't spoken to anyone since I'd been back. There had been prompts but I had no reason to speak of my nightmares and weariness. The need to just crawl into a hole and disappear.

I could biotic slam him and stalk off, but if anyone understood my renegade need to bite or avoid, it was Garrus.

The breath left me in a whoosh and I hadn't realized I'd been holding it. "Shit Garrus. It's just so hard."

"So what else is new?"

I glared up at him, arms crossing defensively. "Is this your idea of a pep talk?"

"We didn't survive gigantic death machines bent on mass extinction to wish for an easy death now."

"Why not?"

With a snort he threw up his hands and leaned into my face. "Stop the bite and avoid. Tell me why you'd rather be with Mordin, or Ash, or Anderson for that matter? When we are still here. When Kaiden is here."

I couldn't help the scowl as I turned to look out to the half devastated Citadel around me. The party inside might have made it seem as if everything was all better. But the scars would never go away. "Kaiden is not here."

"Uh…he's right there!"

I grabbed his arm when he went to peek back inside and pulled him away from the light of the window. "Seriously. Why does everyone…" Gritting my teeth, I looked up at him with a deep breath. "It feels wrong without them. Without Edi…Joker is…" It still hurt to say here name. Synthetic or not, she'd been a part of my crew. She'd fought beside me, had my back, steered my ship, saved our asses countless times. To see her reduced to her old VI programming, was like knives under my nails.

Tali had told me how she and Garrus had managed to patch her up enough to at least steer the Normandy back to earth. Her platform now lay silent.

Something broke inside me when Garrus' rough palm slid against my cheek and I closed my eyes, leaning into it. "Joker is healing. We all are." He murmured, his arm looping around my waist. "Please Jane. It is over." His mouth pressed against my temple and everything inside me exploded into light and smoke. I couldn't help the hiss of breath as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into him. "You're home. Please just breathe."

And I finally let the baited breath go. Slowly, the shaking, shuddering and maddened whispers calmed. The insane hold I'd had on myself eased and I finally got the hug I'd been waiting months for. The reassurance. The acceptance. My smile turned into giggles when I realized it had come from the one comrade who had never left my side. Not for anything. "Getting cuddly Vakarian?"

I could feel his smile against my temple. "Shut up Shepard."

Giving him one last squeeze, I pulled away to look up into his blue eyes, the face of my favorite Turian now filling my vision. Chasing everything else away. "I couldn't have done this without you Garrus."

"Sure you could have," he reminded me with a wink before tucking a strand of hair behind my ear affectionately.

"Just not as stylishly," I chimed with him and we laughed. Leaning up I kissed his mandible and grinned when they fluttered out and his eyes widened in shock. Perhaps he could begin anew as I did. It wasn't like hold times. Not anymore. "We'll be seeing a lot of each other now."

"Yeah," he drawled low under his breath and recovered with a smirk. "Not like I've been on your six for five years."

He had.

Swallowing the sudden flare of fear and excitement, I held out my hand. "Just no more impromptu dances please."

There was a flicker of something warm and beautiful in those blue eyes before he grasped my hand firmly. "I make no promises, Councilor Shepard."

Going back to the party my new life was suddenly easier.

TO BE CONTINUED...