It begins again, if you haven't read the 1st one, go do that. Get ready ladies and gentlemen, for the 2nd story with hookers and blackjack. Sit back and enjoy this masterpiece with all the stupid references.

I don't own RWBY or anything referenced, this is just a parody

It started as just a simple day at beacon. Students rushed in and out of classrooms to get to lunch; they were serving pizza. All the students were currently eating theirs.

All except one.

A boy named Jaune Arc to be exact.

The boy in question was currently on his way to Vale after being given a message to carry by Miss Goodwitch.

'Man I can't believe I have to miss out on pizza for lunch again' the boy thought to himself 'well at least I get to sick out some on classes because of it.'

Little did he know there was a reason for him not being able to attend lunch whenever they serve pizza.

Flashback

"The boy must never be able to eat pizza ever again, for I fear worse would come from it" a man with gray hair told his companions.

"Agreed" a tall man with a white dress uniform said.

End flashback

Jaune thought nothing of it though, for he was denser than a brick.

He took a look down at the letter he was supposed to be delivering, and bumped into a man wearing a black suit with a black trenchcoat. Jaune was knocked over.

The guy in the trenchcoat quickly saw an opportunity to switch out the letter for another and left as soon as he came.

Jaune's butt fell to the ground and the new letter fell into his lap. Jaune looked up to look for the man who knocked him over to find no one. Mumbling to himself he stood up and started to walk, continuing his mission from before.

Watching the young man go, the trenchcoat guy made a phone call.

"The package is on its way."

Later

Jaune took another look at the letter and could not believe where it brought him.

A pizzeria.

'Well at least I'll be able to get something to eat' he thought to himself as he walked inside.

He found himself in a homily restaurant, with a little old lady behind the counter. She watched him come closer, and smiled.

"I have a letter from Goodwitch" he told the lady his stomach growled "and could I get some food too?"

The old lady just smiled brighter and showed him to a table.

Somewhere else

Ozpin put a hand to his forehead, Ironwood and Miss Goodwitch set their eyes on him.

"What is it Ozpin?" Goodwitch asked.

"I'm not sure, I feel a disturbance" Ozpin told them.

Back to Jaune

Jaune sat in front of an amazing looking pizza, he had ordered a 'New York styled meat lovers pizza' and they brought him a masterpiece. Every bit of this pizza looked like it was handmade by a god; from the golden crust to the correctly proportioned toppings. He dug into the pizza and everything went white.

Inside Jaune's dreamscape

Jaune opened his eyes to see nothing but white.

"Hello my son." An anglic voice spoke.

Jaune turned around to see 2 people, both in chef's garb. He opened his mouth to speak but could not. For the 2 men, nay, gods had him awestruck. For it was the gods of food; Chef Campbell and Chef Ramsay.

"Jaune my boy, we have brought you here to save mankind." Campbell told him.

"When you brought papa Jaune's to life, it was some good fucking food." Ramsay said.

"Someone wishes to destroy Italian styled food everywhere." Campbell continued "it is up to you to prevent this. If these dishes die, humanity will die out."

"Will you take this challenge?" Ramsey asks the young man.

Jaune has no words, such responsibly bestowed upon him. He bowed "what shall you have me do?"

The 2 gods smiled and held their hands out and started chanting.

"I Chef Campbell god of sauce, bestow upon you, my champion; the blessing of the sauce, for one can be lost without the sauce." "I Chef Ramsey god of good fucking food, bestow upon you, my champion; the blessing of good cooking, for this one needs not to leave the kitchen."

Jaune felt light headed then his vision went black

He awoke back in the pizzeria with strange men in black suits surrounding him, one draped a black hooded robe over him. The men kneeled, the whole building was full of them. "What is thy bidding master?" One of them asked.

"Assemble the mafiaos."

"They are already on their way, my lord."

Jaune laughs.

"PIZZAAAAAAAAAAA" the mafia yells its warcry

With ozpin

Ozpin's face goes white "oh no" he heads toward the basement

Back to the action

Jaune has his council in front of him, he has told them of the vision.

"Mama mia" Adam Tarrus says "it's worse than I thought."

"What would you have us do, godfather?" Raven asks

A Ursa with a handlebar mustache waves its hands.

Jaune smiles in his seat, dark robe somehow darker than before. The table lights up and an orange haired girl is seen.

A few minutes before in beacon

It was still lunch somehow, teams (J)NPR and RWBY sitting enjoying lunch, when team SSSN joined them.

They sat and talked for a while, when Nora got a call. Excusing herself from the table she takes the call

"Hello?!" She says

"The time has come, execute order 66." The voice over the phone told her.

"It will be done my lord." She turned around as other phones in the lunchroom started to ring. She turned around and nodded to team SSSN. The boys ripped over their clothes to reveal black suits and super soakers. Many more students did the same thing and started unloading their water guns filled with spaghetti sauce into the crowd of students.

The 2nd battle of beacon had begun.

Some Atlas ship

"It will be done my lord."

Two soldiers ripped their uniforms off and fired the sauce at ironwood. Ironwood tried to fight back a pained cry but failed.

"NOT THE SAUCE!" His uniform would never be clean.

With cinder

"Yes my lord" mercury said as he smeared sauce on cinder and emerald.

Salem

A Beowulf with a hat and a phone did hand signs before tossing a pot of Noodles at the evildoers.

Jaune's at beacon

Jaune walked into the campus as mafia men marched behind him. The remaining hunters were either hiding or were currently od' on sauce. He walked into a room alone and hunters came out of there hiding spots.

"Mister Arc there are too many of them, what are we going to do?" Professor Port asked him.

Jayne simply pulled a baguette of garlic bread from his robe.

With Adam

Adam chased Ozpin through the halls after he saw him grab something off a podium. They reached a room with a large staircase, Adam was tired, however Ozpin was just getting started. Ozpin pulls something out of his pocket, a chef's hat.

"You fool" Ozpin says "with this I'll have unlimited power."

"What do you mean Oz?" Adam said

"IM REJECTING MY TASTEBUDS ADAM!" Ozpin yells as he puts the hat on. A bright light flashes from the hat. Ozpin starts to laugh as he teleports in front of Adam kicking him so hard his ribs caves in. "With this power of [domino's pizza] I'm unstoppable."

'This is it' Adam thinks to himself 'the end' he smiles and pulls something out of his pocket, a can of sauce.

"JAUNE, THIS IS THE LAST OF MY SAUCE. TAKE IT!" he yells out, engulfing the sauce with whatever aura he has left as a cross shaped wooden table falls on him. With a meaty thwack Adam passed out.

With Jaune

"Come on I can hear him, this way!" Jaune says as he rushes into a dark room with Raven and mustache Ursa "damn pitch black, can't see a…. Wait a minute what's that!" He points to a glowing can of spaghetti sauce, he walks toward it "wait this is Adam's can, then that means…" Jaune starts moving around not seeing Adam, until a piece of wood broke off from the ceiling shedding some light into the room. The light had a holy glow to it, it was showing the rooms occupants the cross shaped table where blood red liquid could be seen flowing on the ground. There was no doubt about it, this is where Adam fell, because he was still able to be seen.

"Damn it, Adam" Jaune said with tearful eyes "if only I was faster."

Raven and the Ursa started crying, while Adam started coming to.

"Oh hey, what's up guys?" Adam said while shaking off his tired eyes.

"DAMN YOU OZPIN, NOW I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO HEAR HIS VOICE AGAIN, FOR HE IS DEAD!" Jaune yelled to the heavens.

The Ursa started doing hand signs, while Raven started hugging the bear.

"Hey guys I'm not dead" Adam chimed in.

Jaune looked toward the heavens "don't worry Adam I'll avenge you."

"Fuck you guys." Adam told the group

Timeskip

"Ah Jaune you've finally come, I've been waiting." Ozpin said at the top of the staircase.

"Bastard, you killed my friend Ozpin!" Jaune yelled at him.

"Ozpin? You fool, Ozpin is no more" he started laughing "IT WAS I, CHEF BOYARDEE!"

The name sent shivers throughout Jaune, a name so unholy that even Satan himself would not say it.

'No it can't be, not him' Jaune thought 'I can't fight this, thing.' He started hyperventilating

Boyardee took a step down, then another, and another, every step sounding of thunder. Until they were face to face, Boyardee smiled a sinister smile.

"So this is the cooking gods champion? A worthless bag of flesh and bone!" He started laughing "you champions are all the same from the joestars to Jesus. Worthless!"

'No! He beat the godly 9 how am I supposed to compete?' Jaune thought

Jaune took several hits to the chest and was thrown across the room.

'Everything's fading, I'm sorry guys I couldn't beat him.' Jaune's eyes grew heavy, knees were weak, arms spaghetti. His last thoughts went to his family, when suddenly, everything froze.

"My son" a voice said. Jaune turned and saw him, it brought a tear to his eyes, he had come

Kazama kiryu.

"Never give up, for the fight has just begun." He smiled

"But kiryu, he's too powerful I can't fight this monster!"

"Very well, I shall teach you the ultimate move."

Sometime later

Jaune stood back, smiling at his newfound ability. Boyardee rushed toward him, but to Jaune he was slower than a turtle. Jaune got into a fighting stance before Boyardee swung. The heat from the impact sent smoke flying. The room soon was filled with smoke, no one could see a thing.

"Where are you!" Raven yelled out while the Ursa held onto her for dear life.

Soon the smoke exited the room to reveal that Jaune had blocked the hit.

"NANI!" Boyardee yelled

Jaune smiled, he had him right where he wanted. Boyardee noticed this but he was too late. Jaune ripped all his clothes off except for his boxers.

"Ultimate move, the libido dance!" Jaune yelled before he started dancing, performing the hustle a golden aura appeared around him.

"NO! NO! NOOOOO!" Boyardee yelled at the top of his lungs. The power before him done only by one, he who had locked him away eons ago. "His art no longer exists, how do you know. HOW DO YOU KNOW MISTER LIBIDO'S FIGHTING STYLE!"

"Simple Boyardee, I'm Kiryu's cousin's roommate's long lost grandchild's brother from another mother. I AM THE SOLE INHERITOR OF THE LIBIDO ART!" Jaune said before his aura exploded covering the room

Boyardee gave a shout of pain before his chef's hat exploded in a firey inferno. Boyardee was no more.

Jaune stood in the center of the room victorious. The Ursa and Raven walked over to him, Raven's nose still bleeding from the shear sexyness of the man in front of her. Jaune get on the bear like a horse, and held his hand out to her. She took ahold of his hand and rode in his lap giving him a kiss, they rode off together into the sunset.