A Million Miles Apart
A/N: Yay! New update! Get ready for some feels! Well, a little anyway. And, yay the Federation is still part of the story!
Hope you'll like this chapter and please review, favorite and follow!
Chapter 13, Rebellion forming behind enemy lines
I don't think I've ever felt like this before, but right now, the pizza in front of me wasn't the least bit appetizing- and it was jellybeans, anchovies and jalapeno, my favorite. So that's really saying something. I nibbled a little on the slice in my hand, but it tasted like plaster and I wasn't even feeling that hungry despite the fact that I hadn't eaten much for breakfast this morning. Neither had Leo or Raph. None of us felt like doing much of anything anymore.
It had been the same every day this whole week. Leo was gloomy and quiet and Raph was in state of aggressive depression and was always, either punching the non-living daylights out of the punching dummy or he was out in the city blowing off steam. Raph was also in a state of denial and was constantly trying to convince us that Donnie was alive out there somewhere and that he was gonna get back home to us, it was just a matter of time.
As for Splinter, he was inconsolable and spent almost every second of the day in his room, trying to deal with his grief alone. And he had cancelled every training session, both morning and evening training and sure, it had been a bit nice to not have to train while dealing with this but now I started to miss morning training. The only thing we did these days was to sit around in our own thoughts and tried to get through our emotions. Same old routine every day. And none of us were eating or sleeping well either.
April and Casey had given us some space and time to get through this on our own, but April had called the other day to see how we were coping. She had sounded rather grieved herself, but she also tried to not pry at the stuff that was hard to talk about.
"I've been talking to Casey, too, and we both agreed to let you guys come to us rather than the other way around, but I just had to know how you guys were doing. I know you and brothers have always been so close, and that you've always been together, and I was worried about you guys." I understood her motives and I also understood that she was just trying to help, but I just couldn't bring myself to talk about Donnie or just how much we were hurting without him.
"Thank you, April; I know you're only trying to help us, but it's really hard to talk about this. Donnie's always been my best friend. We used to play together all the time when we were kids, and now he's gone! Raph keeps denying that Donnie's gone and keeps telling us he's gonna come back, and Leo is always quiet and either hiding in his room or out here trying to comfort us, so he doesn't really talk about his own emotions. Splinter's always in his room and keeps cancelling training. And that's all I can really say. I hope you don't mind, April." Of course April didn't mind. She of all people understood how it felt to have a family member ripped away, the horror of not knowing what had happened to them.
My train of thought skidded to a stop as something cold and sticky stroked my cheek. I looked down and saw that Ice Cream Kitty was looking worriedly at me. I smiled down at her and pat her on the head. She leaned into my touch and licked my nose to try and cheer me up.
"Thanks, Kitty… But I don't think that you can make me feel much better today. I'm in a critical state of sadness and depression." I collapsed on the table, my arms catching my head, and I felt Ice Cream Kitty pat my head with her frozen paws. My tears wanted to fall, but I kept trying to blink them away. Although, it turned out to be completely pointless, since they slipped out anyway.
"Oh, Ice Cream Kitty, what are we gonna do now? Donnie's always been there to help us with everything we do- no matter what! And now… now he's gone! And what's worse, Donnie's my best friend. How am I going to stay alive if he's not here? He's always been there to help me, teach me, cheer me up- everything! I can't live without all my bros!" Ice Cream Kitty meowed comfortingly and pat my head again. I sat up straight again, dried my eyes and tried to smile.
"I remember, when we were kids, Donnie and I would always hang out when Leo and Raph argued. One time, I remember he showed me how to build a catapult out of rubber bands and Popsicle sticks." I couldn't help but laugh at the memory. After we had finished the catapult, we had used it to sling water balloons at Leo and Raph while they were playing 'King of the Mountain' in the dojo. Let's just say that they didn't exactly appreciate it. In fact, Raph had tried to destroy the catapult, but Donnie had managed to save it in the last second."
I laughed fondly at the memory. Donnie and I didn't really do 'stupid' things together so often, since Donnie often tried to act like he was too old or too mature for that stuff, but every once in a while we played a prank or two on Raph or Leo, or we would play video games and act like it was a war and not just a game, and then he was always so much fun to hang out with. But lately, he had been so busy with so much stuff that I had barely seen him around because he had to work on the retro-mutagen, the Shellraiser or just simple stuff like the toaster. I had tried to keep him company, but I have admit I had messed up an experiment or two, and even though Donnie had never yelled at me for it, I could always tell he was upset or at least frustrated about it.
"I just wish I had been faster that night. Maybe I could have saved him before he got sucked into the portal. But I screwed it up, like I always do." Ice Cream Kitty meowed at me, as if she was trying to say, 'It wasn't your fault, Mikey. You couldn't do anything to foresee the situation.' I dried my eyes and smiled at the kitty in front of me.
"Thanks, Kitty. I'm glad that I have somebody to talk to who's not too busy wallowing in their own feelings to listen. Now, I'm not saying I blame them- I totally understand why they feel the way they do- but I still wish they would try to listen a little bit more. I mean, we're a family and we should feel confidant in leaning on each other and talking to each other about how we feel, right?" Ice Cream Kitty meowed at me and she sounded like she agreed with me.
Suddenly Leo walked in through the drapery that was our kitchen door. He wandered over to the cupboard where our glasses were and poured himself some water. He sipped slowly on it before noticing me sitting at the table and tried to smile at me. But I could see that he had dark circles under his unfocused eyes and a slumped posture- something Leo never had, so I could tell he was tired, frustrated and grieved. And if I knew Leo at all, I knew he was grieving in silence, fighting his feelings alone.
"Hey, Mikey. How're you doing? You look a bit pale- have you eaten anything?" I glanced down at the now-cold pizza slice in front of me, then back up at Leo and shoved the plate away.
"I'm not hungry. I can't eat anything, and I don't feel like doing anything either! Everything just seems so pointless right now. You know what I'm saying?" Leo nodded slowly, sipped some more water and looked at me with tired eyes.
"You know where Raph is? I haven't seen him since breakfast." I shook my head, stroked Ice Cream Kitty's head and tried to eat some more of the pizza in front of me.
"Nah, bro, I haven't seen him. I think he went outside to blow off some steam, but I don't know exactly where he is." Leo nodded. I took a bite, grimaced at the taste and looked up at Leo again. "How's Splinter doing?" Leo shook his head and swallowed some more water.
"Not so well. He didn't say it, but I could tell by the look in his eyes that he had had some kind of nightmare, and it really affects him. He won't eat, he can't sleep and he refuses to train." He looked me in the eyes. "I'm worried about him, Mikey. I don't know what I can say or do to help him." I nodded, stood up and wrapped my arms around Leo's chest.
"I know, Leo. But you don't have to feel like you have to help us all the time. You know you can come to us and let us help you, too, right? It's not entirely up to you alone to keep us all together. Okay?" Leo stiffened in my arms, like he didn't know how to react. But after a few seconds he returned my hug, dug his chin into the top of my head and nuzzled my temple with his cheek.
"Yeah, I know, baby brother. I know I should rely a bit on you, too, but it's hard, you know? I'm not good at talking about my feelings or stuff like that with anyone else but Master Splinter, maybe. I guess I just want to handle these things myself and not have to talk to anyone about it." I nodded and nuzzled my face into his chest. Ice Cream Kitty meowed from her place in the bowl she sat in and waved at Leo with a smile. I grinned up at Leo, who looked at Ice Cream Kitty with confused eyes.
"Ice Cream Kitty is telling you that she's here for you, and so am I. And I know Raph and Splinter are, too." Leo looked down at me, smiled with small tears forming in his eyes and hugged me tighter, letting his tears fall freely down his cheeks.
"I know, and I appreciate it, bro." I smiled and hugged him a bit tighter. I felt my own tears fall from my eyes and buried my face in Leo's chest.
"I miss him, Leo. Do you think he misses us, if he's alive somewhere out there like Raph insists he is?" Leo looked down at me, teary-eyed, and I could see he had given up on trying to hold them back. He gently placed a hand on the back of my head and pressed it to his chest.
"I- I don't know, Mikey. I really don't know. I'm sure he would miss you, Splinter and April. But me, Raph and Casey? I don't know, but I wouldn't blame him if he didn't. I mean, okay, I don't mean to paint Casey up as a bad guy, but it was clear he and Donnie didn't really get along that well. And me and Raph? Well, you know..." I nodded and nuzzled my face into his chest again. I then heard him mumble something to himself.
"I miss you, Donnie. I'd give anything if you would just come back home to us." I sniffled a little, let my tears fall and started to sob into my older brother's chest.
"Oh, Donnie. If you could only see how much we miss you, and how much we need you." I thought to myself as I cried into his chest.
It was a bit hard to take this all in. Soldiers were running around, getting their weapons and their suits, preparing for battle. Scientists and computer experts were typing away on their computers, trying to track the Triceraton ships and/or the Fugitoid down. And some of us, me included, were sitting with injured soldiers and taking care of their wounds. I was currently wrapping a bandage around Moriah's bicep- she was squirming in her seat, yet she refused to look up from her boots.
And then there was our father, who was furious at the moment. For once he wasn't angry with any specific person, but rather with the Triceratons and at the fact that we had lost the Fugitoid yet again. He was yelling, throwing things around and punching the wall like a five-year-old, but everybody in the room knew better than to point it out, at least not aloud.
"I can't believe it! Triceratons? On a Federation Planet?! This time they have gone too far! We have been enemies for hundreds of years, but we've never stepped foot on each other's planets! And not only that, they stole my own flesh and blood?! Those disgusting freaks are gonna regret this, I swear they're gonna regret this!" Moriah looked down in shame and I couldn't help but feel sorry for her. Moriah always aimed to please our father, and to her, failure was unacceptable and simply not an option.
"I'm sorry, Father. We tried to fight them off, but there were simply too many and they were too powerful! If we had-" He turned to us, slapped Moriah across the face and grabbed onto one of her ponytails, pulling her face up so he could look her in the eyes. I couldn't help but cringe. It looked so painful.
"There are no excuses when you are of Federation blood, Moriah! And especially not when you're of my blood! How do you think the people would see me if they heard that my oldest daughter- and their future leader- was a pathetic, weak failure? As the future General of the Federation, you must show that you are just as ruthless and strong as I am, and rule with an iron fist! To fail is simply unacceptable! Do I make myself clear?!" Moriah's face was scrunched up in pain and she barely managed to nod, partly because of our father's grip on her and partly because of the pain itself.
"I understand, Father." Our father let go of her hair and she immediately lowered her head again and rubbed the sore spot on her head. But he wasn't quite done yet.
"However, I will give you one last chance to prove yourself worthy as leader of the Federation, Daughter. Gather up as many of our best soldiers as you can and follow the Triceratons to re-capture the Fugitoid from those freaks. Do not fail me this time! If you do, the consequences will be quite unfortunate." Moriah shuddered, nodding slowly.
"I understand, Father. And what of Jhanna?" I looked up at our father, who hummed in thought. Then he looked down at us with disinterested eyes.
"Leave her be! She wanted to leave this planet, now she has. Let's see how long it takes for her to crawl back to us on her bare knees and beg to be taken back. But for now, your most important goal is to find the Fugitoid and bring it to us. Nothing else matters." Moriah nodded, stood up and was about to leave, but I flew up from where I had been sitting on the floor and grabbed on his arm.
"What?! But, Daddy, she's our sister! Your daughter! We can't just abandon her with those aliens! They'll kill her, you know that! Please, Daddy, we have to save her!" Father looked down on me, his eyes softening slightly, and gently pulled his arm away from me to place both his hands on my shoulders.
"Starlee, you are your mother's daughter, and I see you have her kindness in you. But we are talking about the survival of our world's domination here! We cannot afford to lose it because of a few setbacks. It's of utmost importance to get that robot and bring it here. Everything else is a distraction." I glared up at him. I had been rather forgiving of everything he had done, but he was willing to let his daughter- my sister- die just so he could keep controlling our planet. I could not just sit there and do nothing about it.
"We can deal with that later! The Triceratons obviously need the Fugitoid- they'll keep him alive! But Jhanna may not have much time! We have to help her, she's our family!" Father's eyes started to harden, as well as his grip on my shoulders. He was starting to lose his patience.
"Once you are off the planet, you are on your own; that is common law on this planet, you know this, Starlee. Jhanna has to handle herself now that she is on another planet. And she wanted to leave, didn't she? She's got what she asked for. Now, go and help the injured, Starlee." He clearly didn't want to continue the conversation, but I still glared at him. He couldn't be serious about this, could he?
"But Daddy, Jhanna could be in serious danger! What happened to 'find her and lock her in a cell if you have to'? Don't you care at all that your worst enemies might be torturing your own daughter? Are you seriously gonna-?" He turned around, grabbed me by the chin and looked me in the eyes with cold, dangerous and deadly eyes. He'd had enough- that was plain to see.
"That is enough, Starlee! This is not something you should concern yourself with. All Federation soldiers have sworn their allegiance to us; from the moment they were born, their loyalty was to this planet, and rebelling against their leader is not to be tolerated. To do so would be treason, Starlee, don't you ever forget that." He let go of my chin and walked over to a green-haired woman and started to ask questions about how the Triceratons might have found out about the Fugitoid. Jhanna was completely forgotten.
I growled at him. How could he do this? One of his daughters was in the hands on the enemy, his other daughter had been nearly killed by the enemy, and he only thought of the Fugitoid? I clenched my hands, my fingernails digging into my palms; I had to fight the urge to spit at him.
"Idiot." I muttered to myself. Jhanna had been right before- he didn't care about us. He only cared about the power he had over this planet. Moriah, the people around us and I were only tools he needed to get what he wanted. I looked over my shoulder and saw that Moriah had already left the room. I glanced over at my dad and saw he wasn't looking, so I quickly left the room and ran after my sister. She hadn't made it very far so I quickly ran up to her and grabbed her arm.
"Moriah! You're not really going to listen to Daddy, are you? Are you really going to abandon Jhanna, just like that?" Moriah turned to me and gently removed my hand from her arm.
"I'm sorry, Starlee, but I have to listen to what he says." I glared up at her. How could she say this?
"Why, just because he says so?" Moriah closed her eyes for a few seconds, moving her mouth to show me that she was counting to ten silently. Then she looked at me with less serious eyes, like she was scared or desperate.
"You heard him: if I don't succeed, the consequences will be really bad! I have no choice!" I had no answer to that, so I just watched as she walked down the corridor and disappeared through another door. I stood there for a few minutes and thought about this. My older sister was in trouble, and no one was doing anything to help her. So, if nobody else was going to do anything about it, then I was.
I ran back to my room and sat down on my bed, grabbed my tablet and started to work. First, I tapped into the Federation's ship storage, where every ship that was functional could be looked over. There were, at the moment, 162 functional ships on the planet, so I would have no problem escaping.
We had gained a whole lot of ships in our wars against other aliens, so that's why we had so many of them. All of them were different. Getting the ship was easy enough, but how to get to that part was harder. There would be soldiers everywhere, most notably in the room with the ships. So how would I get there without being seen? Jhanna would have stuck to the shadows and just made things up as she went along, but I was a lot more strategic than she was.
I sat and thought about it for a while. I could hack into the system and program the alarm to go off and make it look like there was a ship of Triceratons still on the planet and that they were about to attack. Then they would be distracted; hopefully long enough so I could sneak in, get a ship and leave the planet.
Nodding to myself, I hacked into the security system and programmed it to go off like it did when an enemy was sighted, and it immediately obeyed. I peeked out of the room and saw soldiers running around like crazy, gathering their weapons, and ran towards the control room. I had bought myself some time, and I had to move now.
I ran down the hallway and towards the room where we kept all our ships. It was down in the basement, so I had to be quick. All the soldiers were gone, so I had no problem getting there, but I was still scared. Any moment they might realize it was a false alarm and come running down the corridor and find me.
Eventually I made it down to the ships and looked around. There were so many ships; which one would be the best for a rescue mission? My eyes fell on a big, white ship and I decided it would have to do. I ran inside and looked around. I had been lucky. It was a technologically advanced ship; with tech I knew how to work with. I ran up to the controls and started to power up the ship.
"I'm coming, Jhanna. I'm gonna save you."
A/N: Okay, not my best chapter, but I still think it's good. There's the twist with Starlee leaving, but I can understand if some people aren't that impressed since we don't really know Starlee that well yet. But don't worry, I plan on making up for it in later chapters.
I hope you liked the chapter and please review, favorite and follow! G'night everybody!