The Most Evil Daria of Them All...
There are many universes, there are many clusters of universes, some focus on specific periods of history, others are just dead husks, others still are dumping grounds for leftover waste from civilizations that use dead univereses as landfills, but a few find their focus on specific people.
There is a strange cluster of Wizarding universes around a boy with a lightning shaped scar on his forehead.
There is a strange cluster of Force universes based around a desert farmboy with a laser-sword.
There is a strange cluster of Exploration universes based around a ship called Enterprise.
But there is an even stranger cluster of universes based around an average teenage girl attending an American high school.
That girl's name is Daria, Daria Morgendorffer.
She has many versions, many backgrounds, many fates, and a single, consistent friend named Jane Lane.
Some of the Daria's are good, some bland, some flat, a few evil, all of them snarky. There was even a Daria who nearly undid creation and operated on one of her many middle names.
But not even that Daria, who's more infamous name will not be spoken here, can compare to the sheer vileness of the Daria in Universe 522912.
Let us continue this story with cautionary censorship, lest the fragile minds of our more sensitive readers be blown out of their skulls and then eaten by that Hannibal guy...
In the fine city of Zurich in the nation of Switzerland, a world defining event was taking place.
An important looking man was speaking to a packed room filled with many important looking people in their best fancy dress, and a slew of reporters were on hand as well.
"It is my pleasure to reveal that the new President of the Fédération Internationale de Football Association shall be our long-time friend... Ms. Daria Morgendorffer!"
As the forty-something woman strode to the podium, applause all around her, she gave a small, rare smile at becoming the 12th FIFA President, and the first woman as well.
No one present knew that she was planning to set up North Korea with the 27th World cup, and that she was sleeping with both Kim-Jong In, but also the new dictator of the Arabian Republic that had violently overthrown the Saudi Monarchy, nor that her favorite hobbies included kicking puppies, messing with thermostats, swiping people's lunches from the work refrigerator and eating it in front of them, telling toddlers that balloons were made of candy then laugh as they try to eat them, stealing all the good batteries from people's houses and replacing them with dead ones, donated too and voted for Donald Trump, real sick shit.
Jane meanwhile was a resident of the Brookside Rest Home, Daria sent her an annual 'Get Well Card' that contained triggers to ensure that Jane would stay a resident for a very long time so that no one else could have her.
FIN