A Million Miles Apart

A/N: Hi guys, I'm back... Okay, I feel like a broken record player that's stuck on repeat, repeating the same old stuff over and over again, but now, I feel like I have to, as an excuse. Yesterday, we put my cat Alfons out of his misery and buried him minutes after. So with him, I've lost at least three people that have been close to me, this year. That includes my little sister, my grandpa and now my cat. So I'm pretty sad and emotionally unstable right now, so this chapter may not be the best. Just saying. You have been warned.

Okay, so I have some other news. I will be going away for Christmas next week on Sunday, and be with my cousins for about a week. Now, I will bring my Mac, but I'm not sure if I can update as much since I'm unsure about how good their Wi-Fi is. Just a heads up.

And also, on a quick note, I DO NOT ship Capril or Apriltello, but in order for this story to go the way I want it to, April will have feelings for Casey so please keep your fanrage to yourself.

Chapter 19, We Have To Get Out Of Here!

I sat on my bed and tried to study, but as much as I tried to focus on the subject and memorize my notes about biology and how the central nervous system worked, I just couldn't focus. My thoughts always shifted to the turtles. And one turtle especially insisted on disturbing my brain.

Oh, Donnie. Why did you have to leave us so soon? I had only known Donnie for almost a year, but I still couldn't imagine a life without him. I can't even begin to imagine what his family is going through right now. Poor guys, they must be heartbroken right now. I had been an only child for all of my life, with very few friends, so I couldn't even begin to understand how it felt to lose a sibling. Though I had lost my mother… but that was ten years ago, so I couldn't exactly give that many good tips on how to help get them through their grief. How were they going to get through it all? And how was I gonna be able to get through all of this? I mean, Donnie was my best friend. He was always willing to help me with everything. Only about two weeks ago he had helped me get my father back- for the second time, now! How would we ever bounce back from something like this?

I sighed and closed the notebook in my lap. Things had been a little... tense between us the past few weeks. Donnie and me, I mean. Especially since Casey joined the team almost two months back. They had been at each other's throats for quite some time, but that wasn't the only reason things had been a little tense between the two of us. I knew Donnie had feelings for me. I mean, anybody with a brain could figure it out- he wasn't exactly subtle about it- but I just didn't think I could return those feelings. I mean, Donnie was sweet, kind, and a really good friend, but I hadn't thought that it could ever work out between the two of us. But I had had no idea how to break that to him without breaking his heart. Ugh, why does life have to be so complicated?

I was yanked out of my thoughts when I heard a soft knocking on my bedroom window and looked up. Leo stood there, waving slightly at me with an awkward smile on his face. I got out of bed, approached window and opened it.

"Leo? Hi. It's great to see you. It's been a while since I heard from any of you. Well, except when I talked to Mikey the other day." Leo nodded, and I noticed that he had something under his arm. Something brown, leathery and book-like. I also noticed that Leo himself looked pretty weary. His posture was slumped, his skin slightly paler, and he had bags under his tired grey-blue eyes. His eyes were also a bit reddened, which gave me the indication that he had been crying. He still tried to smile and looked me in the eyes.

"Hey, April. Good to see you, too. Look, I need an opinion on something, and I can't ask the others about it. I don't think they'd be able to help me get a good point of view on this. I need somebody from the outside who can give an opinion. Do you have time?" An opinion? What did he have in mind this time? But I nodded nonetheless and stepped out of the way for him, gesturing at him to come on in.

"Of course, come in." Leo jumped through the window and I quickly closed it behind him. He sat down on the bed and gestured at me to sit beside him. I sat down and looked curiously at the book that he had now placed in his lap. It looked like an old photo album- but why would Leo bring a photo album here? Maybe he needed help with a good picture of Donnie for that memorial ceremony they were gonna have next week.

"I found this in my room today, and I noticed something that I found kind of interesting." He opened the book and the pages showed eight pictures of the guys when they were small- I had to hold myself back from going 'Aww!' at them, 'cause they were all so adorable. But I figured it wouldn't be very respectful to do so, so I kept quiet. Leo pointed at four pictures that showed all the turtles, or at the very least, three of them, and then looked up at me.

"Okay, I want you to look at these pictures, very carefully, and tell me what you see." I leaned over the pages and looked at the pictures Leo had pointed out. One was of Leo, Raph and Mikey playing together, with Donnie reading in the background, another one with the three oldest watching TV together, the third one had all four turtles sleeping on the couch- except Donnie, who was reading on the floor- and the last one was of all turtles and Splinter together, hugging each other and just looking cute. I tried to look at all these pictures and see what I assumed Leo saw, but I didn't really get it. I looked up at him and shrugged helplessly.

"I don't get it. What am I supposed to be looking for? What are you seeing that you want me to see?" Leo moved at little closer to me and pointed at the pictures again.

"Okay, well, think of it this way: look at the pictures and look for Donnie in each of them." I nodded and tried again. And this time, I saw something. In each of the four pictures, Donnie was in the background or shoved behind somebody else. That did seem a little strange. I looked up at Leo, who looked out the window and refused to meet my eyes.

"Tell me, April, have we really been so dismissive towards Donnie? Have we really treated him so poorly that he's always stuck to the background, too scared to come out? And tell me the truth, April; I don't want you to sugar-coat anything." I bit my lip and looked away from him. How was I supposed to answer that? I didn't even know how they grew up together, let alone how they got along when they were little, so how would I know? I carefully looked back at Leo, who was squirming slightly where he sat, as if afraid of my answer.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but why are you asking me this? I mean, why me? Why not Raph and Mikey or even Splinter? You guys grew up together; how would I know how you treated him when you were kids?" Leo sighed and looked back me, placed one hand on my shoulder and looked me in the eyes.

"Because you were Donnie's best friend. You knew him in a way the guys and I didn't. He was willing to open up to you a bit more, talked to you about things he didn't talk with us about. Or at least, so I assume. Come on, April, please; Donnie must- at some point- have complained about us to you! Please, April, I need to know!" I bit my lip, took a deep breath and then gazed into his blue eyes.

"Well, I guess he has vented a little bit every once in a while, but it's not to the point where I would say that he has ever been mad at you guys. He's mostly been frustrated about how you're not listening to him about stuff, but honestly, he's never really talked about how he feels about things. When I ask him about what's wrong or if he's feeling alright, he always shrugs me off and says that he's fine." Leo looked down at the floor and removed his hand from my shoulder.

"Oh..." I felt bad, seeing him like this, so I placed my arm around his shoulders and tried to hug him, but he turned away slightly from me, which made it a little hard to do.

"But I can say that, from what I've seen, you guys can be a little quick to shut him away and to make him stop talking about the things he really loves. To not listen to somebody -in this case, Donnie- is like saying he's not good enough or that he doesn't matter. Whether or not you meant to, you were basically saying 'you're not worth my time.' If that's how you've always treated him, then it was most likely years ago when he actually started believing that. And feeling like you're not good enough or worth another's time and energy can lead to a person developing trust issues or just having a hard time opening up to people in general, even those he knows he can trust, to some degree. And I say 'to some degree' because, like I said, this sort of treatment can lead to insecurities and just having a hard time feeling safe around people, no matter how closely related they may be." Leo cringed and I felt bad for saying these things, but I knew that he had to know these things, and he had asked me to be honest. I kept going.

"I understand that's not the intention, but if Donnie's been feeling left out and even at times said he prefers to be alone, that usually means that he's afraid of getting hurt and thus avoids any situation where he could get hurt, either physically or mentally. At least, I've seen that happen before, and his behavior seems to match. I also assume that Donnie's been trying to take space and be noticed more to feel like you actually care about his opinions, his ideas or just him as a person. If he felt like you only cared about his scientific abilities, then he might have felt like you didn't care about him as a brother, only what he could do." Leo bit his lip, clenched his jaw and I saw he was fighting back tears and sobs. I quickly tried to change my tone a little and to sound optimistic.

"But hey, that's only what I think and I what I gathered from how he's been acting the past few weeks. It probably wasn't exactly how he felt, or what might have happened. It's just a theory." Leo shook his head, trying to dry his eyes but having a hard time holding his sobs and tears back.

"No, it's not that, April." He talked with a strained voice and it cracked slightly and I had a feeling he was going to start crying soon- and I mean start crying for real- and try to hold it back. He took a deep, shaky breath. "It's just the fact that I'm realizing more and more just how much I've- I mean, how much we've rejected him for so long. When we were kids, we didn't care about the fact that he didn't want to play with us because he always said he didn't mind being alone, and when we did play, we acted like he wasn't even there. What kind of brother does that?" I didn't know what to say; this was something I didn't quite know how to handle. I had never seen Leo cry before, not even once, and it had always felt like Leo couldn't cry- it was just not possible. So seeing him here, holding himself back from breaking down completely, was really hard to watch. Leo kept talking, but small tears started to fall from his eyes and drip down onto my bed.

"I- I never knew. I never realized just how much I've taken him for granted, or how often I've taken advantage of his selflessness, his helpfulness and his drive to never give up- just to get what I want. And now he's gone, and I'll never be able to look him in the eyes and say that I'm sorry. Or tell him how I need him. How much I miss him. How much I-" He was interrupted by a sob that broke his voice and he had to take another deep breath. "H-how much I l-love him." A few more tears fell from his eyes and one or two sobs managed to slip out as well. I bit my lip, trying to hold back my own tears, and tried to think of something good to say.

I looked down at the photo album and got an idea. I flipped over the page, looked through the pictures on both pages and then flipped over to another page. This time I found something better than the other four pictures and placed my hand on Leo's shoulder. He looked up at me and I placed the album back in his lap and pointed to one of the pictures.

"I think that somewhere, deep under his frustrations and his feelings, he knew that. Even if it sometimes was hard to do so, he knew that you cared for him, and that you loved him." Leo looked at the picture. It was picture of him and Donnie when they looked around seven or eight years old, with Leo hugging Donnie around his neck, looking super-happy. Donnie looked just as happy, if not a little surprised by Leo's hug. And beside the two of them was the Space Heroes arcade game that's always been in the lair. Leo smiled, tears still falling from his eyes.

"That's from the day Donnie repaired that game- just because I was so angry and upset that it was broken when we found it. He had fixed for me so I could be happy, and for that one reason alone. And I loved him for that." I smiled and put my hand on his knee, still looking him in the eyes.

"See? Even if you might have been a little mean to him a few times when you were kids, he still fixed things for you. Not because he wanted to show off, but because he wanted to see you happy. Because he loved you, and he knew that when he expressed his love in the form of making and fixing things for you guys, you would always appreciate and love him back for it, even on a subconscious level. I have a feeling that he knew just how much you love him, even if you didn't always show it very well." Leo gave in. He started to sob and even more tears fell from his eyes. I threw my arms around his neck and he wrapped his arms around me, nearly crushing me out of sadness and desperation for comfort. But I pretended like I didn't feel it and just hugged him as tightly as I could as he cried into my shoulder like a little child.

"Shh... It's okay, Leo. It's okay. Just let it all out, it's okay. I'm here for you. I'm here." He nodded while sobbing pathetically and whimpered 'I'm sorry' into my shoulder over and over, but I had a feeling he wasn't apologizing to me. I stroked the back of his head and looked out the window and up at the stars.

"Oh, Donnie. If only you could see your family right now. So you could see just how much they love you. And how much they miss you." I thought to myself and hugged Leo a little tighter. My homework was completely forgotten, but even if I had remembered, I wouldn't have cared. Family came first. It always did.

I punched, kicked, bit and screamed at the Triceraton who carried me back to the Arena. I couldn't go back, I wouldn't go back! My planet was in danger and I had to stop the Triceratons from destroying it! I couldn't go back to that place! I had to get out of here, ASAP. But the Triceraton obviously had other ideas, since he kept his iron grip on my shell and refused to let go. Didn't mean I would stop trying to fight back.

"Let me go! Put me down, you giant piece of Jurassic leftovers! I won't let you do this, you can't do this, you monster!" The Professor and I were tossed through the doors, but I barely hit the floor before I was up again and running towards the doors, only to have them shut in my face. I kicked, punched, screamed and swore at the now locked doors to such an extent that if Master Splinter could hear me, he would probably beat me up with the randori until I couldn't sit for a week.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, looked up and saw the Professor staring down at me and shaking his head. I knew what he meant. This was useless. I wouldn't get out of here that way. I sighed, turned my shell against the door and leaned the back of my head against it. When I looked up I saw that all of the prisoners and aliens in the room stared at me and the Professor with big, wide eyes, as if I had grown five heads and had gotten three times as big. And for a second I didn't know what to think or say. Then I shook it off, glared at them and folded my arms over my chest.

"What?! What are all staring at? Wouldn't any of you try to escape through the doors before they were locked?" Gruel walked up to me with the same sadistic smile on his face. He clearly enjoyed seeing me so miserable, or so he thought. I would not -I repeat- not give him the pleasure of seeing me down on my knees and unable to keep moving forward. So before he could say anything, I grabbed him by the collar of his so-called 'shirt' and yanked him down so I could look him in the eyes.

"Look, pal, I am in a super bad mood right now, and I swear that I am ready to kick anyone who's willing to argue with me all the way to the nearest star! So back off or I swear I will personally make sure you will never walk again! Got it?" Gruel was caught off guard and I could see that this was something new for him to deal with. He nodded, however, and I loosened my grip on his collar.

"Good. And now," I raised my fist and punched him between the eyes, making him lose consciousness and fall to the floor with a 'thud'. "Good night! And good riddance!" The Professor placed his hand on my shoulder and I was pulled out of my aggressive and testy thoughts.

"Donatello, you should really try to calm yourself. I understand that you are upset, but you won't get anywhere this way." I took a deep breath through my nose and let it out through my mouth. He was right. I had to calm down and think rather than act on emotions and instinct. Come to think of it, I've acted more out of instinct and emotion these past few days than I had for a month back on Earth. Maybe it was because Leo, Raph and Mikey weren't here and so I had to act out their parts as well as my own.

"Yeah, I know. You're right, Professor." Jhanna came running up to us with wide eyes that had nothing but questions in them.

"Donnie, Professor! What happened, and why are you here, Professor? I mean, didn't the Triceratons-?" I interrupted her and placed both hands on her shoulders, shaking her, not very forceful but still enough to catch her attention.

"Jhanna! Zanramon found out that the Kraang are on my planet! They're gonna leave here and destroy my home!" Jhanna's green eyes widened and her jaw dropped all the way down to the floor. I think I even saw Traximus tense a little bit in the background, but I wasn't sure. Jhanna shook her head slowly, moved her mouth without saying anything, and looked down at the floor.

"No... They can't do that. I mean, I know they have a history and a vendetta against the Kraang, but to go and destroy a whole planet? That's way too far, and way out of line, even for Triceratons!" She looked up at me again. "Did they say how they were gonna do it?" I thought for a second, but the Professor answered before I could.

"Prime Leader Zanramon said that after the fight tomorrow, his troops will go and look for the pieces of the Black Hole Generator. I assume they will use it on Earth." Jhanna's eyes widened again, I heard her mutter 'this is not good' to herself and then she looked away, thinking over something. I looked between her and the Professor and then asked the question that had been on my mind ever since I heard the name of the device.

"What is the Black Hole Generator, anyway?" The Professor gazed pityingly down at me and then turned to me so he could look me in the eyes. Which, again, felt a little weird since they were the eyes of a robot and not a person… but I digress.

"It's a device that the Kraang created a long time ago and used against the Triceratons to suck their planet into a black hole. The device was destroyed centuries ago, but is said to still be out there, somewhere, in the galaxy. If Zanramon and his troops find the three pieces, they will be able to do the same with your planet that Kraang did centuries ago." I gulped. Not the answer I had hoped to hear. I turned to Jhanna, who had one hand over her mouth and her other hand on her elbow, looking to be in deep thought.

"But, we're not just gonna sit here and do nothing, right? I mean, we can't let them do this! I can't do this on my own, but I can't let them destroy my planet." Then suddenly a big shadow appeared over us and when I looked up I saw Traximus looked down at us.

"And you're not going to. I have heard enough, and I will not stand by while my people set out to destroy an innocent planet, full with innocent life that's done them no wrong. I don't care if I fall dead tomorrow in the ring, I will help you however I can." I was taken aback by Traximus' words, but before I could answer, Jhanna placed her hand on my shoulder and looked me in the eyes while smiling reassuringly at me.

"Yeah, he's right, Donnie! We're gonna stop them from destroying your planet and help you get back home in any way we can! Right, Professor?" The robot beside me nodded and for a second, I couldn't grasp it. These three, who had known me for less than two weeks (or less than a day on Traximus' side), were willing to help me- just like that?

"Y-you're.. You're gonna help me? You wanna help me save my planet, just like that?" Jhanna placed her arm around my shoulders and her smile widened.

"Hey, of course we'll help you! We're friends, right?" The Professor placed a hand on my shell and looked down at me with as good a smile as he could offer.

"Yes, we're not going to abandon you after what you have done for us. Besides, I promised that I would help you, didn't I? We're not going to leave you all on your own." I felt tears form in my eyes as a smile spread over my face. I tried to blink away my tears, and I don't think I've ever felt this. At least, not in a very long time.

"You guys... Thank you. Thank you so much! If you do manage to help with everything, I'll owe you my life." Traximus shook his head and placed his hand on my shell, beside the Professor's, patting gently before withdrawing again.

"Life is a precious gift that should not be wasted, remember?" I smiled at him, but was then suddenly pulled out of my thoughts as a groan was heard throughout the room. We all turned to Gruel, who was waking up from my temporary sleeping solution. I leaned in closer to the others and gestured towards the middle of the room, the place where Jhanna had cleaned my wound earlier, and we immediately hurried over there before Gruel could spot us and try to stop us.

We all sat down, as close to each other as we could, and tried to come up with a plan. And now I truly felt like things were going to be alright. Sure, the Triceratons still had us in this prison, but I had three new friends, willing to help me save my world, and I couldn't be more grateful for that. Maybe things were going to be fine after all.

A/N: Okay, it's done! I hope this chapter was good, since I've had a bit of a rough weekend, but hey, I'm fine and I can still write. As I said, on Sunday next week I'll be going away for about a week, but I'll try to update anyway, since I know now that there's is Wi-Fi were they're going to live.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter and please review, favorite and follow! G'night everybody!