1976

"Remus, wake up!"

Sirius Black nudged his friend. Nothing.

"Moony," he whispered, shoving his shoulder. "Wake up: it's 3 in the morning, time to go."

To say that Remus was not a morning person would be an understatement. But this had been his idea, after all, to practice. However, he had forgotten how much he adored his sleep. This was the first of many trial runs, and Remus wondered if it would just be easier to assume it would all work out, to not practice at all.

"He's not waking up," Sirius complained. James narrowed his eyes.

"And you're giving up this quickly? You know how important this is, and it's not his fault that he isn't good in the mornings." Taking out his wand, and holding it at Remus, James said "Aguamenti."

Water. Remus bolted upright. James smiled, Sirius chuckled, and Peter, who had just woken up himself, stared blankly.

"Why is Moony wet?" He asked his friends.

"Because Moony is terrible at waking up," Remus muttered, shaking his hair a bit like a dog. He had grown it out after getting a nasty scar on his cheek, but it now dried so slowly now that it took a couple of good shakes to get the water out. Remus saw the irony of this.

"Wands, robes, the cloak...is there anything else we need?" James asked.

"Your minds," Remus added, "Since you've clearly lost them," he said a bit morosely.

"Remus, we've been over this-"

"I know, James, and I'm far too tired to," Remus yawned, "Argue." He slowly got out of bed, as did Peter, and the boys put on their robes as James searched for the invisibility cloak.

"Why do we have to put our robes on?" Peter moaned.

"Because," Remus said, "You'll be wearing robes when you come down with me, and I want every little detail to be as close to the real thing as possible." Even Remus couldn't explain the logic, he just worried. Sirius, sensing this, put his hand on his friend's shoulder.

"It'll all go swimmingly, Moony. I solemnly swear." Remus could only hope this was true.

Despite the four of them having grown over the years, they could all still fit under the cloak. Having made it safely out of the common room and through the castle, the boys headed for the Whomping Willow. Above them hung a half moon, a reminder of how little time they had to get this right. For Remus, this trip was common. But he wasn't sure his friends had ever been so close to the enormous tree.

"Blimey," Sirius whispered. "And we have to get..."

"Under that," Remus said. "Yes." Peter audibly gulped. His time was up. Remus smiled at Peter. "I believe in you. I've seen you turn into a rat dozens of times now. And the knot," Remus pointed with his wand, "Is just right there."

"I can do it," Peter said, nodding. He was, after all, a Gryffindor. Closing his eyes, Peter began to shrink. Before long, he was scurrying to the base of the tree.

"It still astounds me," James began, "That he's the smallest of us all." Sirius laughed, but Remus covered his mouth.

"Quiet," he whispered. "We don't know who...or what is watching."

Before long, the tree seemed to freeze. "He did it," Remus whispered. He turned to the others. "Alright then, follow me." The boys looked for Peter, and upon finding him, he turned back into their friend.

"Did I...did I do alright?"

"It was brilliant," James insisted. Remus nodded in approval.

"Now, the tunnel is right over here," Remus said, leading his friends. He pushed aside a low hanging branch to reveal a door. "It's dark at night, so you'll want a light: Lumos," Remus said, and a small but bright light shot out of his wand.

"And that leads to the shack?" Sirius asked. Remus nodded.

"Positive. Now, when you get here the door will be locked, but Alohamora is enough to open it from the outside. You'll need to leave the door cracked, as well, so that we'll be able to get out," Remus explained, his voice echoing a bit as he began down the tunnel. Get out...what had once seemed so ridiculous to him was slowly becoming a reality. No, not ridiculous. Impossible. "Got it?"

"Got it," James repeated. The others simply nodded, and the group was oddly silent. The gravity of what they were doing began to hit them. The four boys continued through the tunnel. The ground was displaced, the smell of earth mixed with the smell of blood and urine.

"Blimey, that smell…" Sirius said, pinching his nose with his fingers as he crawled. James shot him a look, but in the darkness this wasn't seen.

"Get used to it," Remus said, a bit bitterly than he intended. "I'm…I'm sorry, I just…I pride myself on being clean—"

"—Moony," James sighed, "Really, it's okay. We're not expecting you to mop." Peter snickered, and Remus pursed his lips.

"Well, good then. Because it gets worse from here."

Eventually, the boys reached a set of stairs. Remus led the others up the creaky stairs, into the shack, and felt a wave of embarrassing heat wash over him. They had ever seen where he transformed—not even Sirius knew how bad it would look, as he had looked in the cellar at his parents' house for less than a minute.

"Welcome to my home," Remus said somewhat stiffly.

The walls, which had been painted, were more brown now than blue. Where there wasn't paint, there was wood, and the wood was in turn stained with blood. Claw marks were everywhere and had contributed to the peeling paint. The walls, the floor, even the ceiling was scratched and dented. There was some furniture, or at least, what was left of it: the table had a leg missing and was broken down the middle. Only one chair remained in full; wooden legs of its comrades lay scattered, broken and splintered all around the room. The bed—if you could still call it that—had been ripped to shreds, and feathers from the mattress coated with blood stuck to the walls and floors. The bed frame itself? Broken. There was a single, small window, positioned for Remus to know where the moon was. Otherwise, it was empty, save for a small metal chest where Remus could keep his robes. The room smelled musty and sickly, as though someone in it had died.

"This isn't your home," said Sirius, a bit angrily. "Your home has your parents and smells like brownies, this is..."

"...Bloody hell," Peter breathed, and whether it was to finish Sirius' statement or it was just a reaction to the gruesome scene, it was equally appropriate.

James, silent, had begun to walk around. He stretched his fingers over a particularly strong set of marks on the wall. His hands were by no means small, but his fingers couldn't stretch to even half the length of the scratches. Unlike Sirius, James had not seen the cellar. But he did know what Remus' real home was like, and this certainly wasn't it.

"I'd say we could decorate," James began, attempting to lighten the mood, "But I'm not sure what good it would do." Remus snorted.

"Yeah, no shite," He retorted. After a moment or two of looking around the room, Remus sat down on the floor, looking up at the window, beginning to strip down.

"Moony, what are you doing?" Sirius asked. Remus shrugged.

"What I normally do. Pretend it's 20 minutes until moonrise. You lot will have walked in, and you'll lock the invisibility cloak in with my robes in that trunk. Unlike you, I don't transform with clothes on," He said, pulling his robes over his head. "Besides, I can't have you all ogling over by beautiful naked form when there's work to be done."

The boys tried to smile, but with the stench of death and the visible evidence of destruction their friend had caused so blatantly exposed, it looked more like a grimace.

"Did Moony make a joke?" Sirius asked.

"During the super serious, dreadfully grave task?" James asked, feigning astonishment. Remus, unbuttoning his pants, gave them a small smile.

"Well, you all looked about as pale as I do. I had figured…"

"No, Moony," Sirius said, grinning now. "It's great. Really."

Remus, nude, sat on the ground. His friends sat with him. In the faint moonlight, the white scars across his body glistened. The newer scars, still pink, looked all the more visible against his pale skin. There was hardly a bit of him that hadn't been attacked in some way, and large, multicolored bruises flanked his sides and legs. Remus caught his friends staring. "Pretty bad, huh?" He scoffed.

James stifled a chuckle. "No, mate, it's just…"

"You're quite…" Peter continued.

"Well-endowed," Sirius finished. "For a little runt—"

"Hey!" Remus protested, feeling his ears turn red. "That's not…It's not…" He gave up. Then, he started to laugh.

"What is it?" James asked.

"Out of anything you lot could have noticed, that is by far the last thing I expected to hear." Remus then held his legs to his chest and looked up. "Alright, now, I'll be too weak by this point…so, one of you will need to put my clothes and the cloak into that metal trunk over there," Remus said, pointing. James nodded, taking on the task. "At ten minutes 'til moonrise, you all will transform."

"But that's nine more than we need—"

"—at ten minutes," Remus snapped. "What if something goes wrong? You need time to leave, to get out of here quickly and safely."

Sirius looked at his friend solemnly. "Alright. Ten 'til it is." Sirius looked at James and Peter, who all nodded and began their transformations. Sirius into a dog, James into a stag, and Peter once again into a rat. Remus smiled weakly. Watching his friends transform was peaceful. His was anything but.

"I'll likely not talk much during this time, but for now I can…explain," Remus began. "Merlin, it's strange talking to a bunch of animals." Sirius barked, which Remus took to mean something, though what he could not say. "Anyway, at ten before, I won't be moving much, and my limbs will stiffen. I get cold, and shiver. Don't come near me when that happens. That goes on for a bit, and my memory goes a bit foggy. I don't know when, but eventually I feel positively rigid. That's when the convulsions start. Small, at first, but more and more until I…change." Remus spoke quietly. "It's not like with you all. I'm not exactly sure what happens first, and I can't control it. And it hurts." Dog-Sirius whimpered. "I'll scream like bloody murder. The screams turn to howls, and when that happens you prepare yourself, since that's all I can ever remember."

Remus stood up. "I have no idea where I'll go, I have no clue how fast I'll get there, and you will need to be alert. No mistakes," Remus said, his voice trembling. "I'll run down the stairs, through the tunnel, where I will claw at the door…only to realize this time, I can leave," Remus continued. "So, follow me." Remus began to jog down the staircase. "I know this seems ridiculous, but—" Sirius barked, cutting him off. "Right, right, you know. Anyway, I'll run through the tunnel," He said, panting a bit as he ran, hearing the hooves and paws of his friends behind him, "Get to the door, and open it," Remus said, pushing the door open and running outside. "Now I'm running, I'm running…" He said, running in circles around the tree, only to stop. His friends weren't running.

"What are you waiting for? Run! Come get me!" Remus said more aggressively. Sirius was the first to lunge ahead. Remus ran in a few more circles, while Sirius followed. Peter hung back, and James, the stag, began to run in front of Remus. "Good James," He called out, "Giving me something to chase." This continued for some time, Remus running around the field, giving his friends an estimate of their speed. What these boys hadn't realized, however, is that they did not leave the castle unseen. A tabby cat had been lurking in the shadows, and having seen enough, had woken the headmaster, Albus Dumbledore.

From his office high above, Albus, with Minerva by his side, could see something he had never seen before: Remus, in the nude, running outside being chased by a large deer and a dog.

"And you are certain they are the boys?" Albus asked.

"Positive," Minerva replied curtly. She too watched the scene, in some mix of horror and glee.

"And their transformations?" Albus asked with a twinkle in his eye.

"As far as I can tell…" Minerva began, "Flawless. They've mastered this magic with incredible speed. But Albus," She began painfully, "We can't possibly let them—"

"—without precautions? No, of course not," Albus began. "But you said they called this their first attempt. I would be shocked if Mr. Lupin did not drill them until he felt they had reached perfection."

"Albus," Minerva began again, "You can't seriously—"

"—Minerva," Albus said, holding up a hand, "They won't be alone. The centaurs are quite aware of the boy's struggles and have promised to help should anything go awry. If it does, the consequences could be dire," Albus said gravely. "But if they succeed…They may possibly save Remus' life." Minerva looked horrified.

"You don't mean…"

"Poppy is not one to sugarcoat things, Minerva. If he continues to harm himself every month the way he does, he will not live long enough to make use of his education. And this will all have been in vain." A ghostly silence fell over the room. The two watched Remus stop running, and pretend to fall on the ground, presumably telling his friends that it was the sign for them to transform back, which they did, and carry him back under the tree. As the boys disappeared, Minerva sighed.

"Merlin help these boys."