1974

The Marauders, while they weren't pranking or otherwise sneaking around, occasionally had to go to class. Of course, when they did go they often passed notes. James and Sirius generally dominated the conversations, as they often left Peter out and Remus preferred taking notes. But there were some days where Sirius and James were feeling particularly kind, or Remus felt he knew the subject material particularly well, and so they four successfully carried on conversations for most of the class, unnoticed. In Defense Against the Dark Arts, this happened quite frequently.

Remus had found a way to use a certain magic on their notes—if the professor, or anyone else, caught on, a simple tap on the paper would hide all that was written. Unless the reader knew exactly which words to say, a charm to reveal the actual words printed on the page would backfire, and rather than see the notes inscribed, the paper would simply insult whoever had tried to uncover its secrets. Particularly useful when your friends have a penchant for referencing certain things you would like to keep hidden.

"Now before we start class, I just want to remind you all of the mid-term essay you have due next week—I'm looking for two meters on a creature subject of course choice that we have covered so far. This could be grindylows, vampires, werewolves, anything like that. It is also up to you to decide the substance of your essay," Professor Dedalus, of Defense Against the Dark Arts, said. "Though please—try and focus away from simply identifying these creatures or where they are commonly found. Be creative," He drawled, "So that I don't get too bored reading them."

Bit of a git, eh? -J

What makes you say that? -R

Assuming we would write something boring -J

Well, what were you going to write about James? -S

James? -R

Where to find grindylows -J

I'm with you, James. I was going to write about where to find boggarts -P

Pete, you find boggarts in trunks. How do you write two meters on that? -S

He has a point -R

See? Remus agrees with me -S

No, I meant Professor Dedalus. He's write, those sound like awfully boring papers -R

If you're so confident you can write something better, what's your topic? -J

Easy. Vampires and Werewolves: a Comparison of the Treatment of their Populations in 20th Century Britain -R

Well you can't write about that –S

And why not? -R

Well, it's cheating -S

Cheating? Remus doesn't cheat -P

It's cheating because Remus doesn't have to do as much research as the rest of us -S

That's not cheating! -R

I'm curious: defend yourself, Remus -J

I'm simply tapping into a subject area I know quite well -R

The subject area is you, prat. That would be like James writing an essay on the legally blind -S

Oi! -J

That sounds like a great topic for James to cover if there was a class on glasses-wearing gits -R

Hey! I'm getting these messages! -J

We know; you're the judge of this debate, so we are trying to make the subject material relevant -S

Isn't that an argument for Remus' side? -P

Yes! Thank you, Pete. It's more interesting when its relevant -R

That is an excellent point, Sirius -J

Is not -S

Is too -R

It's still cheating -S

Would it be cheating if you wrote about werewolves? -R

Well, no -S

And why not? -R

Well, because I'm not exactly, you know, especially knowledgeable -S

Bullocks. You lot know plenty -R

I've decided on my new topic, in case you all are interested -J

Oh, do tell -S

Werewolves: Countdown to the Moon -J

You've got to be kidding -R

It's the perfect topic. I've got nearly three years of practical knowledge on the area and have the perfect interview lined up -J

I want to do my paper on werewolves too! -P

Mine will be on pubescent werewolves and whether or not they smell worse than pubescent purebloods -S

No, you can't do that -R

Why not? Is it…CHEATING? -S

Remus? -S

Got any thoughts mate? -J

It's not cheating, it's just an unprovable hypothesis -R

No it's not. Step one: smell your armpits. Step two: smell mine. Step three: conclude -S

You don't have nearly enough of a sample size of pubescent werewolves! -R

I've got you, haven't I? -S

But I'm not exactly representative of all other pubescent werewolves -R

Is Moony saying that he's super special? -J

Not super special, no, just not representative -R

That's just another way to say you're special, mate -S

Is not -R

Is too -S

So it's settled, then? Writing about what we know isn't cheating? -R

I suppose, under some circumstances, its not. But I'm only saying this because I didn't think of writing about werewolves before -S

Well, you're still not going to write about them now -R

And why not? It'll make all of our lives loads easier this week -J

Because it was my idea first. You're copying -R

Copying? Merlin's beard, Remus, you don't get a monopoly on essay topics -S

Not on all topics, no, just on this one -R

But why? -J

Remus? -S

Moony? -P

Because I deserve it! How many times does the worst thing about you actually turn out to be something useful in a class? Don't you think that maybe, just maybe, in writing about something I'm invested in, I feel that I can give a unique perspective that could get through to people? Change the way they think? -R

Moony's angry -P

I'm not angry -R

You're writing in your angry swirl -J

I don't have an angry swirl, I don't even know what that is -R

Look, mate, we won't write about werewolves. But that's not the worst thing about you -S

Oh, no? -R

Nah mate, it's your snoring. Something about the alignment of your nose is bonkers and it's really dreadful -S

I second Sirius, it's bloody awful -J

I have to throw pillows at you to get it to stop -P

Really? It's that bad? I'm sorry guys -R

Well it's no big deal. Pete's pillow thing works, we all mange to get to sleep -J

So let me get this straight—on a day to day basis, you lot are more concerned about my snoring than my being a werewolf? -R

Well, day to day, yes -S

I mean, we get concerned when you're unwell, but the snoring is every night -J

You're ridiculous. But it makes me feel like being kind…if you want to write about werewolves, write about werewolves -R

Well, we can't all write about werewolves -J

Oi, not this again. Why not, James? -S

Well, that's just suspicious. Why would we all be interested in the same thing? -J

Are you saying I'm not interesting? -R

No, Remus, you're very interesting—believe me. But not all Gryffindors are interesting—I mean, look at Peter—but I think Gryffindors in general are interesting -J

Hey! I read these! -P

We know -S

So what you're saying is…I'm not representative of the group as a whole? -R

Not this again -P

Well, in this case, I mean it's a bit sensitive, you've definitely opened up our eyes to the community as a whole and I can't say for a fact if you are or are not, well what I'm trying to say is, you're Remus is all -J

That made no sense -S

Yes it did. He thinks I'm special -R

"Mr. Lupin!" Barked Professor Dedalus. Remus hadn't realized that he had been grinning. "Care to share what is so interesting to the class?" With a tap of his wand, the paper went blank, and Remus cleared his throat.

"Er, no sir, not particularly." The class erupted in laughter. Professor Dedalus was not amused. He marched over to Remus' desk and snatched the sheet from his hand.

"It's just a blank piece of paper, Professor," Remus said, a bit on edge. He was excited to see his magical craftsmanship at work.

"Revelio," The Professor said sternly. Nothing seemed to happen. But just a moment later, writing appeared, and Professor Dedalus began to read,

"The Marauders kindly ask that Professor Gitalus keep his prying nose out of our well-taken notes.

They remind Professor Gitalus that if he didn't want such boring papers, perhaps he should be teaching something more interesting.

In particular, the Marauders kindly suggest that Pixies be eliminated from the third year curriculum, as they are particularly boring to learn about and are hardly dark creatures."

The four boys snickered. Angry, Professor Dedalus crumpled up the paper and threw it on the floor. "Detention," He barked. "The four of you. My office, 6PM. Don't. Be. Late."