A/N: As you all seem to have noticed, 'Serenity' is getting folded into the plot of the show. Please note, I am taking liberties and making changes along the way, so don't expect the events of the movie to run as you recall. I'm borrowing elements and details, but it is going to be different. Thanks for the reviewage :)

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 18

River never talked about The Maidenhead. When she woke from the drugs, groggy and confused, nobody dared to ask her anyhow. Later, she just acted like she didn't remember, though most knew better, especially her brother and her husband. There was a look in her eyes, said she knew well and good all that she done on Beaumonde, but that maybe she'd rather not think on it much.

Since she never did seem to know what set her off, there was no point pushin' her. For the most part, all those aboard carried on like things was normal, but there was this feeling the whole time like they was all waitin' on something. Wasn't anything a person could see or hear, but it was there and it was goin' to be one powerful explosion when the time came.

Simon was worried. Not one amongst the crew could doubt that. He worried because nobody said anything but looked at him and River and Jayne just a little differently now. He worried because Kaylee smiled in a new way that weren't altogether as bright as before. He worried because the Shepherd decided maybe Serenity wasn't the place for him to be right now and asked to be dropped off at an abbey he knew for a while.

The only comfort where Book was concerned was the sympathy and kindness he showed River even after the incident at The Maidenhead. The last person he spoke to before leaving was River, his hand on her arm.

"Have faith, little one," he said, meeting her eyes.

"Always prevails," she replied, smiling slightly.

Simon didn't ask what it all meant, what secret conversation they had before or may even be having in that moment in their minds. It was too strange to contemplate, and Simon's brain didn't have the room for more puzzles. He went over and over all the information he had about River's condition, all the statistics and test results he had collated. None of it really helped at all. He needed more, but it was impossible to get.

"How has she been at night?" he asked Jayne. "Does she dream? Has she started fitting again?"

"Quiet as can be most o' the time." Jayne shrugged, always awkward at talking about River behind her back, even if he did know it was all for the best. "She was whispering some a couple o' times but nothin' I could make out. Ain't lashed out for a good while, least not in her sleep."

The incident on Beaumonde was playing on his mind too, and more than a little, Simon was sure on that. There was no use talking about it though, nothing to be said or done that hadn't already been said and done a hundred times. Of course, this situation was frightening and desperate and frustrating. It had been from the beginning and would be until the end, though neither man could see any end in sight right now.

It was only today, when Mal spoke of their next stop along the way, that things altered. Inara must go to Ariel, specifically to St Lucy's hospital for her annual Companion physical examination and license renewal. It was perhaps the only place in the 'verse that Simon was so afraid to return to, more so than even his own home and the parents he would never acknowledge again. In front of Mal and the crew, he kept his composure, but later he had to speak freely. Kaylee understood why he was scared, but not why he was keeping secrets from the Captain.

"I can't understand ya, Simon," she told him desperately. "Mal don't want no harm to come to you nor River and Jayne. If'n you just told him-"

"Then what?" he snapped at her without meaning to. "Then we won't go to Ariel? Inara has no choice. She would be in trouble for not keeping her appointment and it would only look suspicious if we avoided the place. Besides..."

He couldn't say more, he wanted to, but he couldn't find the words. Turning away and shaking his head, Simon almost walked away from her completely, but couldn't quite do it. Kaylee stepped up behind him, her hands laid gently on his back.

"Simon?" she urged him to speak, to turn and look at her again, anything. "Please, don't be mad at me."

"I'm not," he promised her, letting out a long sigh. "Kaylee, I... Of all places to go, St Lucy's is the worst for me," he explained, turning to face her again. "But for River? It could be the only place that can help her."

She didn't understand. There was no way for her to know unless he told the whole story, and so Simon did, first to Kaylee and then later to Jayne. He explained that although he was bound to be recognised at St Lucy's after his internship, that they could all be caught and captured and worse, that hospital was the only one he knew that had equipment which could prove useful in diagnosing River, in really genuinely helping her to get better, if such a thing were even possible.

Where Kaylee was sympathetic and hopeful, Jayne's reaction was the expected suspicion and frustration. He recognised the name of the hospital. Dumb he may be, but his memory was sharp enough. St Lucy's was the place Simon had gone to work, leaving Jayne himself in charge of River's care. It was the place he called and called when things turned ugly, tryin' to get the doc home again for his mei mei's sake. Seemed like a lifetime ago now, all that happened on Osiris and such. Prob'ly 'cause so much had happened since, Jayne reckoned. Still, those folks on Ariel was going to recall Dr Simon Tam if'n he showed up at their door.

"How you reckon on gettin' around that, Doc?" he asked him out-right, scratching his stubbly chin as he thought on it his ownself.

"Through the front door." Simon smiled too much as he held up a vial for Jayne to see.

"What in the gorram hell you talkin' about? What's that?"

"This is a drug that suspends all bodily functions, brings everything that shows you're alive down to practically indeterminable levels."

Jayne eyed the vial with suspicion still and Simon couldn't blame him. The plan he was making was complicated, dangerous, and yet it might just pay off. If he had the support of Jayne then he could convince River. The three of them together might work on Mal and have him see the good in their scheme.

"We could do this, Jayne," he insisted. "Myself, you, River. I could administer this drug and we would appear dead. St Lucy's take in bodies all the time. Once inside, we could wake and then, if I could just get River in the neural imager, I could actually see what those... those kuh wu hwun dahns did to her mind. It could help me - help us - to help her."

It was emotional blackmail in some ways. Jayne would do anything to make River feel better, think clearer, be happier. It was pretty much all he wanted in life, and Simon was playing on that in the largest way possible right now. That didn't change the fact that what he said was true, that this might be the only way to move forward with assessing River's condition and finding some way to make her better.

"Say we wanted to do this, if'n your sister wants to, and we could pull it off," Jayne considered. "You gotta have the crew behind ya. Mal and Zoe and all. Gonna need them in this caper."

"I know." Simon nodded. "The crew like us well enough, but they only take on jobs that pay, I can't blame them for that. In fact, I plan on exploiting it."

"You want us to do what?!" asked Wash, eyes wide and mouth wider at this point.

"Breathe, dear," his wife advised, patting his arm.

"I'm breathing, I'm just..." he lowered his voice and leaned in closer to Zoe then. "I'm wondering if he's gone crazier than his sister."

"Hey!" Jayne said like a warning. "You watch it, little man, or I swear-"

"Ain't no need for that," Mal cut in.

He had on his particularly serious face, thinking over all he heard here in the galley these past ten minutes. The doctor had put himself together a plan that had no real holes at all. There was risks, of course. No such caper came without its fair share of potential trouble, but he covered most of his angles. Jayne had muscles aplenty but Mal didn't have him down for much of a thinker, and the very fact little River weren't hereabouts for this meeting meant she hadn't had a hand in the details. This was all Simon. Mal was very nearly impressed.

"Guess what you told us is true enough, 'bout you bein' top four percent of your class or some such," he said after a while. "Now, supposin' I thought this plan o' yours could work out, that my crew wouldn't be in so much danger as some might think," he said, glancing a moment at a still gaping Wash. "You sure you know what you're doin'?"

"The drugs on that list are worth the amounts I described, potentially much more in fact, dependant upon where you sell them and to whom," Simon insisted.

"Ain't so worried about the drug bust." Mal shook his head. "I trust you know your meds, Doc, and that you wouldn't double-cross me. You more'n proved that these past months y'all been aboard my boat," he insisted. "But I was thinkin' more on your part of this deal. You sure about this imaging chamber you wanna put your sister in? I seen the way she reacts to the infirmary when the mood takes her, and how she acts other places for no reason at all that a man even as smart as yourself can conjure," he said pointedly. "She has one of her fits at St Lucy's, folks are gonna take note. Like as not, you only need your faces seen by one person in that Alliance facility and all three of you are done for."

"We know what we're doin'," said Jayne, standing tall at Simon's side. "Doc says we can make this work, we can. Gorram gonna make sure on it, if'n it helps my little woman."

"That I don't doubt," confirmed Mal with a single nod of his head. "And what does your wife say to all o' this anyhow? Seems to me she's the smartest amongst us, unpredictable as she can be from time to time. She think we can pull this off?"

"I believe so." Simon nodded. "She didn't react badly to the suggestion of the plan, didn't seem to foresee any danger... other than the obvious issues inherent in any of us going into an Alliance facility, obviously."

Mal nodded that he understood that, then looked to Wash and Zoe for their reactions. Sure'n they were shocked, one more obviously than the other, but they was good folks and deep down Mal knew they liked the newer crew members and would want to help if'n they could. Kaylee knew all and was in support of the plan, that was already said. She and River were elsewhere now only because the little one would rather not think about the details. Whether that was because the idea of being put to sleep scared her or thinking on the plan too much made her head hurt, neither Simon or Jayne could say. They only knew what she told them, that she would rather be elsewhere when the discussions were had.

"Then I guess we're doing this?" said Wash, looking at Zoe for final confirmation.

"I guess so. Cap'n?" she said then, looking to Mal.

"We help our own, any way we can," he reminded her. "And if along the way we make some coin and stick it to the Alliance, well, then that's just brightens my whole gorram day."

To Be Continued...