A/N: I know, I know. Believe me, I hate myself too. Life has just been too busy for me and my muse is not cooperating / Oh well. Alright, so this chapter is basically a bonus chapter. This chapter would focus on Steve and how he reacted to the video. Thank you to The-Captain-Widow for the prompt :D Anyways, this is also dedicated to her/him and to all angst lovers out there. This is also going to be short-ish because it centers on Steve but I'll make it up to you in the coming chapters :) Aaaaannnd, if you have any requests or prompts, I'm begging you, leave something :D
Warning: Graphic (maybe not so) descriptions of torture.
As always I do not own Marvel, just the plot.
No. No, no, no. Oh, God, please let this be a nightmare. Just a horrible nightmare.
Steve chanted again and again in his mind while chucking the remains of his breakfast down the toilet.
He saw the video Fury played out for him. All that he believed in for the past seven months came crashing down on him, shattering the hatred and disgust he felt towards Natasha, only to be replaced with utter desolation and remorse.
His mind, as if bent on torturing him again and again, went back to the fateful video, replaying in slow motion and highlighting each painful revelation. Natasha. Oh, God, Natasha. It's nothing less than what I deserve, he said to himself despondently.
"Sit down, Steve. Please."
Those words should come with a Grade-A warning seeing it came from Nick.
His eyes were drawn to the screen, where Nat's face was plastered. Nick turned up the volume, making Steve hear what the dark-haired man was saying.
"...you on a serum that would prevent childbirth. Your water has broken, yes, but amazing what our doctors here could be persuaded to do. We reconstructed your amniotic sac and currently your child is safely ensconced there, all warm and snug. With no idea of the pain to come."
He heard the words but wasn't comprehending them. Oh, he understood them alright, but his mind decided not to take them, accept them, yet. Because he knew that if he did, he would never finish this video, which is imperative, and just go lose his mind. The man slapped Natasha so hard that she spat out blood. Steve's hands clenched in rage, nails digging into his palms and nearly drawing blood but still he kept them balled up.
"What d-do you want?" She sounded out around the blood pooling in the insides of her cheeks.
"I want Captain America to beg, to see how pathetic Black Widow really is. I want Captain America to break, to see the light from your eyes fade as we torture you again and again. I want Captain America to go insane with the need to find you, all the while knowing that it is too late," he said while letting the light glint off the scalpel that he picked from the table, "and finally, I want him to die with the knowledge that his child will grow in the hands of his enemies, honing the child into a weapon to use against his beloved United States of America!"
Then all hell broke loose. Steve sank to his knees, letting out a horrendous cry that should have never passed the lips of a man, much less the Captain America. It was the cry of someone broken, of someone whose heart was torn out, only to find out that he himself has done so. The video continued to play, with each word and each assault to Natasha was another nail driven to seal his justtly-earned coffin.
"Good luck with that. He already thinks the worst of me anyway."
Another resounding thump, driving the nails deeper and deeper.
"Will he? When we will tell him the truth about what really went on that mission seven months ago, Natalia?"
"No. Don't" She whispered.
"Look to the camera, дорогой, and tell your fiance, I meant, ex-fiance who really took the vial and knocked him out cold. Tell him."
She refused. Of course, she would. Steve was past the point of begging Natasha to betray him, tell the man anything he wants to hear, not caring that this was all recorded and done hours ago. He knew Natasha, and Natasha would never hurt him as long as it was in her power to do so. The man continued to push her, to tell the "truth" but still she resisted, earning her a violent punch to her stomach. That housed her child. His child. Oh, God. No. Please. He can only look in horror while Natasha tried to hide the pain from the camera and failing miserably. He watched as the man cut open Natasha's arms, watched as the precious blood streamed down her arms and dripped onto the floor.
Another cry was wrenched from his heart, from his very soul, at the pain that he has inadvertently caused her and their child. He could never forgive himself. Dimly, he registered Nick calling out for other agents to restrain him as he was doing his best to beat himself up, stopping every now and then to dry-heave. Arms were wound around his bulky torso, trying to calm him down but he was a super soldier and it was for naught. He was busily trying to shake off the other agents that he almost didn't hear the words being spoken by The Man.
"… shall I say Steve Rogers. …. know that it wasn't this … who stole that vial ….? The current Red Room's agents … not be on par with Natalia Romanova but we definitely also have a … assassin by the name of Yelena Belova. She … is a lover of disguises and loves to dress up as her predecessor. …. Well, I'd bet you guessed right. … loves to play dress up ...as the Black Widow."
Really, nothing should have surprised him at this point anymore, but it did. His mind flashes back to their last conversation, to where Natasha had wanted to explain something but he cut her off, insisting that she leave him and all but declaring to her that he didn't love her anymore.
If only he had waited, if only he had let her explain, then she wouldn't be tortured like an animal while pregnant with their child.
Their child.
If anything happened to their small miracle he knew that forgiveness will be the last thing he deserves. He will be more than happy to cast himself into the deepest part of hell and count the punishment lacking to what he has done. His heart prayed like never before. If only Natasha and their child would be spared, then he would gladly die and burn.
At this point, his strength has left him. Not the serums' but his spirit. He barely flinched as Natasha was electrocuted (though he thought he felt every shock), as Natasha was water boarded (though he himself was drowning) and as each of Natasha's perfect nails were pulled off one by one (though he felt the excruciating pain).
He was past the point of redemption.
He could only hope that after he has saved them both, (and he will, even if it's the last thing he'll do), that he would die because that is what he truly deserves.
And with that last thought, Captain America passes out.
There! Whaddya think? Please R&R! It keeps me going.