A/N: Apologies for the delays, peops. The weather here took a ridiculously hot turn which put paid to the writing and the posting of fic (and the general use of my computer or my body to a certain extent! lol). Thanks for the reviews on the previous chapter, and now, without further ado, here is the next one! :)
(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)
Chapter 25
She had been eerily calm when they set out. Nothing had phased River, at least no more than usual. Jayne and Simon had started out asking if she was okay every five minutes, until she snapped that they were being frustrating. After that, no more questions, no more outbursts.
Dear Serenity in all her glory was daubed with paint and made into a monster for the trip. It had to be so. Reaver space was no place for good people, fine ships. They were taking all kinds of risks heading for Miranda, they all knew that, but it was time. There was no other choice for any of the expanded crew but to push forward.
"Have faith," said River to herself, feeling more than knowing that they had entered the very worst quadrant of space. "Hold on tight."
"Gonna be fine, bao bei," Jayne promised her, pulling her to him and kissing her hair. "Just shiny."
He didn't mean it. Wasn't a lie as such. He wanted it to be true, River knew, and yet even she could not guarantee it. She saw the flow of time and what ran within the water, but not every moment, every twist and turn. Surprises could still be around every corner, beyond every invisbile line in the shifting sands.
"They're here," she said very suddenly.
Even Jayne with his well-honed reflexes wasn't ready as she dove from his arms and took flight. Running like her life depended on it, bare feet slamming against metal, Jayne hardly knew how to catch up to her and didn't make it until they were at the door of the bridge. River tumbled in, landing behind Wash just too late to give him the news.
"We got company," he said to Mal and Zoe who stood either side of the Pilot's chair. "And not just Reavers."
"Alliance," his wife confirmed. "They had to be tracking us, maybe figured out what we're trying to do. Where we're headed."
"They know." River nodded slowly, a haunted look coming to her eyes that the others knew far too well. "Two by two," she said, pointing out a second ship close to the first, "hands of blue."
Once the chant had started up, it didn't end. Jayne wrapped his arms around River and tried to calm her. She buried her face in his chest, wanting to stop, not knowing how. Wanting it all to stop but there was no way, not until Miranda. She believed this trip might be the cure for her, the key, the cypher that made sense of all she held inside, tried to keep from spilling out in all directions. She wanted so badly for it to be true, but until they made it there, if they made it there, she must live with what she was. They all must.
"They ain't gonna follow where we're headed," Mal said firmly but gently. "Ain't got nothin' to worry on where them fellas are concerned, little one."
"So much more to fear," she told him, turning out of Jayne's arms now and facing her Captain with damp but steady eyes. "Miranda's coming."
Nobody knew what they expected to find when they reached the mysterious planet of Miranda. Not even River really had an idea of what she was going to see or discover. It certainly wasn't the view that greeted them. Miles and miles of cityscape, full of row on row of the deceased. No sign of violence to speak off. No poison nor disease. It was as if everyone just laid down and gave up on livin'. In time, the crew would discover that was just exactly what had happened, at least to most.
A recording told them about the G-32 Paxilon Hydroclorate, or Pax, as folks was like to call it. Meant to calm the population of this planet and prevent mutiny and war, it had a worse effect. Most just stopped working, stopped caring, then they stopped eating, and stopped breathing. Everybody just laid down and died, or almost everybody anyhow. The larger shock was the side-effects, what happened to the tiny percentage who didn't give into the Pax. Instead it seemed to fire something up deep within, something primal, monstrous, ugly.
"They made 'em," said Jayne, staring into the same holgram as all the others, with shock and horror combined. "The gorram Reavers."
The recording was switched off soon after. All amongst the crew had seen more than enough, before those savages ever come to tear their messenger limb from limb. A sound came out of River, something small but pained. Jayne went to her, Simon too, as she dropped to her knees.
The world was fading in and out of focus, but for the first time River understood. This was what her mind was trying to know but also trying to hide. She feared the truth and worse did not know the whole of it. Her mind battled with pieces of this secret and a hundred more, but this was the one that had haunted her. All the voices, the faces, the overwhelming pain and suffering and anger. So much blood. Now it began to fade, down to a dull roar at least, because she knew. She understood who these people were, what they were saying, why this had happened. It lifted much of the fear and confusion she had felt for far too long. It brought a clarity she had hardly dared hope to find.
River was hardly aware of her body, even as it heaved up bile and cried salty tears all over the dusty concrete. She knew they were there, her husband and her brother. Their gentle grip on her arms, quiet words of comfort, it helped, it soothed the jagged edges of her nerves, the broken shards of unwanted knowledge still trying to find their place in her mind. Breathe in, breathe out. Guh guh advised it but River already knew it was all that would help now, everything else had been said and done.
"You with us, bao bei?" asked Jayne near her ear, a hint of fear in his voice so rarely heard.
River smiled.
"I'm fine," she told him, turning to meet his eyes.
She knew he saw it, how clear everything had become. He noticed what she said, the exact wording. She was I now, not she. She could find herself amongst the debris and rise again. She was his little woman and Simon's mei mei. She was River in her truest form. Not perfect, never that, but better, clearer, as cured as she could be in all the strange and deadly circumstances of her life so far.
"I'm fine," she repeated, glancing at Simon, letting him know she meant it.
The smile he offered her proved he understood. The worst was over, for now, at least. There was more to come, so much left to deal with. Some of that came down to the Captain. He looked pained when she saw him next. Confused and alarmed. Common reactions to the devastating news he just received. The world was turned on its head for all others present, for poor Kaylee, Inara, Zoe, Wash. The key to easing River's mind destroyed all others momentarily. They lived in a world where monsters existed for so long, but to hear that humans had created those beasts and covered it up. It was too much. Overload was inevitable.
"Cannot stay," she said, loud enough to be heard. "Not a place to live, only to die."
Mal was holding onto Inara now, the two of them supporting each other, but when he looked over the Companion's shoulder to meet River's eyes, he knew they was on the same page. Jayne helped his wife to her feet, her legs unsteady, but her gaze firm.
"They didn't have the choices we do," said Mal, gaining the attention of all. "We got a chance to not lay down and take what the Alliance threw at us."
"Mal..." Inara began to say, but he shook his head.
"First we get out of here," he insisted. "Everything else waits 'til later. Wash, Kaylee, get me that message," he urged them. "We're taking it with us."
"If only we could've got here sooner, to save these people" said Inara sadly. "It's horrific."
"Death is bad enough, but what them Alliance did? Hushing all this up? That's the horrific part," the Captain insisted. "Ain't gonna get away with that."
"Can't hardly believe what happened there," said Kaylee, her hand clasped firmly in Simon's still. "I mean, I'm awful glad that River feels better, that it's all kinda put her mind straight, but those people..."
"It is tragic," Simon agreed. "I hardly know what to feel or think," he said, looking out the galley door towards the room his sister and Jayne shared. "She can't be cured, not a hundred percent, but I am happy for her. To think what those people suffered though. An entire planet."
"They'll get their justice," said Zoe coldly. "Cap'n's gonna see to it. Sir?" she prompted when Mal said not a word.
Since they come aboard, he really hadn't said much. Done a whole lot of thinking, pacing, staring at the cylinder on the galley table that held the secrets of this God forsaken place, not to mention the Reavers. They held such a thing in their hands, and all the power that came with it. Question now was, what was to be done next?
"Seems to me the people in this great sprawlin' 'verse of ours have a right to know what the Alliance is capable of. I reckon we get this message to the Shepherd, there's a good chance he can have that friend o' his with the connections put it out into the black well enough."
"Might'n't be so easy," said Wash with regret. "I'm just sayin'. We gotta get out of this quadrant. Right now, we got Reavers everywhere, and the second we set foot outside of the danger zone, Alliance will be on us."
"Nobody said it had to be easy," said Mal, shaking his head.
"We'll make it," said River, emerging into the room with Jayne right behind her.
She had gone to rest at Simon's insistence, but it had been a foolish idea. Until their mission was complete, River's peace was similarly lacking finality.
"You sure on that, little woman?" asked Jayne, a hand at her shoulder.
She smiled a little at the gentle touch, but the look didn't last long, not in a moment like this one. Her eyes were locked onto her Captain's own even as she answered her husband's question.
"Yes. We'll make it," she promised. "No other choice."
To Be Continued...