Chapter Three
A Typical Night at GCPD
Oliver Queen lay back, his hands clasped behind his head enjoying his lunch break with fellow Justice League member, Barry Allen. The pair were better known to the world at large as The Green Arrow and The Flash.
Oliver grinned, "Your turn, Wally. Diana versus Dinah?"
Wally West snickered. Oliver was so very predictable on this subject that he didn't even have to use a microsecond to form his answer,. "Dinah, same as every time you pit a league lady against fellow leaguers. People might suggest you're a little bit biased there, buddy."
Oliver held up his left hand, smiling."It goes with the ring I bought her. It's a gold ring of power, mightier than Hal's, more binding than Sauron's."
"Yay!"
"You're happy about me getting all romantic?"
"Nah, I'm happy to find out that I'm not the only League member that can pronounce Sauron correctly."
Oliver blinked then. grinned from ear to ear. He threw up his hands before saying, "Hey, I'm a big fan of Legolas, can't you tell?"
A new voice sounded, "I read them, too. For some reason I found myself able of identifying with Eowyn. I would have been even happier if she had been the reason for the prophecy of the Witch King."
Oliver tilted his head. "Wasn't that the whole point oft the 'I am no man' speech?"
Barry leaned in, "Nah dude, the prophecy meant anyone of the race of man, men and women both."
Diana pulled a seat out and sat with them. She wondered how long it would take either of them to realise she'd put on her more revealing, bare legged, low cut costume. Responding to Barry's comment in the meanwhile, she said, "And whilst the prophecy mean Merry, Eowyn still remains strong in her own right."
"But she did disobey her King's direct order."
"True," Diana said. but I have to sympathise with her considering how many times I've disobeyed orders from my mother and even the gods…"
Barry sat bolt upright, "Speaking of mothers, I have to speak to mine. We're still catching up since the rebirth incident was undone. It still feels surreal, but in a happy way." There was a streak of, he sped off to make his visit.
Oliver smiled, "The fastest man alive and he's terrible at time keeping, But on a different matter,your royal highness, Dinah and I cordially invite you to our ceremonial renewing of our wedding vows.
Diana beamed. "I'm honoured. I would ask you about a dress code, but you seem a-"
"A little unperceptive to your current outfit? I think it makes people remember that you're the second most beautiful woman in existence, the first being Dinah of course."
Diana chuckled. "I can see the attraction. Just be glad that you put a ring on her finger before I did."
Oliver froze, his next quip forgotten. He had to wonder if that could have happened, Then he dismissed the thought.
"Really Oliver, the things people forget about me. Things like growing up on a women only island and practising martial arts with my peers."
Oliver saw the bait and wagged a finger at Diana, remarking. "There are plenty of men out there, A fair number of women too, who would have loved to be there, especially dressed like that."
Diana's smile curled a little sharper. "Themyscira is a hot island, Clothing was optional."
Oliver Queen just folded his arms and gave a wry shake of his head. "Alright princess, you win."
"Of course I do Olly, I am the niece of Victory herself, after all."
In a cell in GCPD central, the Joker sat quietly, smiling affably at his arresting officers, both of whom were sat across from him, tense.
"Soo... let me get this right, You've detained me and Harley for foiling a bank robbery?"
Bullock growled. "There's an open warrant on you, clown. And sooner or later, we're going to figure out what you're planning!"
The Joker smiled. "I thought to myself, how can I pull off the funniest prank of the century and it hit me. like a Batarang, and trust me, I should know that feeling!"
Renee Montoya took another sip from her lukewarm coffee and wished that she could do an impression of one of said Batarangs. What she actually said was, "Well, that makes me want to ask, how many fatalities were you working for this time?
"Why, detective, none at all, no casualties even!"
Renee glanced over at Harvey. only to see that he shared her sceptism and puzzlement. She looked back at the city's most insane resident, but she had to follow his statement up. "Alright, Joker, feel free to explain."
"Well, you know how people hone senses about their city when they're involved with the seedy underworld like we are?"
Bullock adjusted his hat, mostly to occupy his hands since the clown's comment had really wanting to ignore due procedure and just throttle the creepy bastard then and there. One look at Montoya's expression told him that she probably wouldn't care either. The thing that held both of them back from action was that Gordon would care and neither officer would betray his faith in them like that.
"Oh really?" Bullock finally managed to growl.
"Yes, and those of us who dance the sanity conga have it dialled up to eleven. That lets us know when something is wrong in the city." His smile never wavered. "So believe me of all people when I tell you something very important."
"What?" Both cops spoke at the same time
"Batman is missing. aAnd I can tell that you can both feel it."
The two GCPD veterans tensed but recovered in a split second. That though, was all it took for the Joker to notice.
"So," he continued. "the funniest thing I could think of in response was to show everyone how much safer the city is without the bat. Which is why I'm going to be a model inmate, until he returns. Then, it's business as usual…"
The second door clicked shut and the maximum security shutters descended. Only then did Bullock and Montoya relax slightly. Montoya gave a whole body shudder saying, "I need to take a shower."
"I think I'll join.. I mean, go take one as well. "
"Yeah, probably for the best, Your Wonder Woman posters are a distraction." She gave Harvey a playful smack on the shoulder as she spoke.
"And your Wondie posters aren't, Montoya?" He stopped briefly to open the next door and gave her a sarcastic bow and part doffed his hat to her.
"Touche, Bullock. But before we part ways, we need to see the commissioner."
"Yeah. agreed."
The Watch tower monitor chimed, breaking Oliver Queen out of his daydream of matching skills with Legolas and Robin Hood. He hit the answer button, becoming slightly surprised to see Dinah's face on it. When she spoke, there was hint of a venom in her tone. "Arrow, I'm heading to Gotham, something's happened to the Bat, and it's got something to do with some creepy weirdo spiderguy.
Oliver felt a surge of anger as the word registered. There was procedure to follow though, so he asked her to confirm the source.
"Oracle," Dinah Stated tersely. Oliver decided that his rising fury was simply further proof that his and Dinah's bond was stronger every day. With that, he stalked off to find Diana and Barry, starting with the galley. A few words with them both shortly thereafter and two angry men and a concerned Amazon were heading out to rendezvous with Black Canary.
He stood on the roof, his coat billowing around him reminiscent of a cloak, as he resigned himself to the fact that his longest remaining subordinates, standing there with him were right, Batman was gone, at least for now.
The Bat been absent before and Gordon knew from long and bitter experience that as the news travelled through the underbelly of the city, the whole rotten stack would ignite. He glanced at his watch and sighed, "Alright, shut it down, he isn't coming."
"Sorry Commish." Bullock said. "With the usual loons out and about, as well as the gangs, we're outnumbered and outmatched.
"It gets even worse," Renee Montoya's voice was tight, her expression dark. "Two face has just been confirmed to be in town."
Gordon took off his glasses and pinched his nose. What else could happen? A split second later he regretted even thinking it.
"I like the signal, it beats using satnav to find the police station and it's not as though I'd be allowed to drive my car up the wall here, is it?"
The three cops turned, the garishly clad newcomer was not who they'd expected. Montoya and Bullock went for their guns but immediately found their hands stuck fast to their holsters, and their other hand stuck to the struts of the Bat signal. Gordon went for his own weapon, freezing in mid action when the red and blue costumed man now perched on the Bat Signal coughed.
Gordon's instinct and experience kicked in, taking in the speed with which the metahuman had disabled two of his best, and even had him beaten on the draw, all in one fluid motion. If this Spiderguy meant them any harm, there would be nothing he could do do about it.
Still, he rested his hand on the butt of his gun addressing the metahuman calmly. "What is it you want? Bear in mind that gumming my officers to this device is not a good first meeting with the GCPD for you, understand?"
"It wouldn't be," agreed spider-Man, "but my actual first meeting was with an officer by the name of Jack Lawson. He and his men were having problems with a real croc of a guy, until I balanced the scales."
Gordon stared. Facing down three armed and suspicious police officers, this guy had cracked a bad joke. He made a face like he had just spent five minutes smelling the aftermath of facing Croc's attack in a sewer. And then the guy continued talking..
The guy said, "Then I found myself playing extreme parkour with a sexy jewel thief. We hit it off and when I let her know I wasn't local, she whipped out a reply, even if we were driving each other up the wall. But to be like a pair of Calvin Klein's, and be brief, Selina said to talk to you, said that I'd know the signal when I saw it.
"Jesus Christ," Harvey said, feeling that the brief moment Spider-Man paused was like some kind of miracle. "If we agree not to go for our guns, will you quit with the jokes?"
James Gordon smiled tightly, taking the chance to make a point. "Alright, I've seen the report but this still wasn't a good move. If you're here to help like I think you are, stand down. I'll stand down immediately after, but you first, understand?"
Gordon watched as the other man lowered his hand, before practically skipping down from the signal light and spraying something on the white strands gluing Bullock's hand to his gun. True to form and temperament, the big officer snapped his gun from his holster, but could only stare as he noticed his gun hand was empty, The spider guy had somehow managed to take his weapon away whilst he was drawing it.
Gordon watched as Bullock tried again, this time, swinging fast at the spider guy's jaw. His hand was stopped by the newcomer and Bullock's fist was held tight in the smaller man's vicelike grip.
"I'm tired, wet, hungry and confused, not to mention nervous as hell, so I'm going to make mistakes. So first, I'm going to apologise for my screw up, then I'm going to let go. If you try to take me down, I'll web you to this light very firmly. I know this won't put me in your boss's good books so I really want to avoid that."
Bullock's face was reddening fast with as he strove to break free.
"Sergeant, stand down and take a step back. Spider, let him go. Now." Gordon was gratified by the way Spider-man released his officer immediately. Bullock obeyed too, though the look he shot the spider could accelerate global warming.
Gordon gave the spiderman a nod before indicating his other officer, who was no happier than Bullock about the situation. Unlike Bullock, the instant she was freed, she just leant on the Bat signal, folded her arms and glared. Gordon pinched his nose.
Maggie Hemmings was scared; she'd finished her late shift at 'Delicate' Deli, and had been making her way to the nearest bus stop. That was the thing with Bruce Wayne, even though the half hourly buses with driver and guard were unprofitable, he'd argued that getting people to and from home was profit in an of itself and besides, he'd said, "I can afford it."
She'd been cut off though by three raggedly dressed gangers, two men and one woman, She'd seen them and ducked down an alley, cursing the mistake as she'd made it. She cursed even more when they'd spotted her and given chase. Gotham bred predators and it was a miracle that its best predator was the Batman.
Trapped against a closed grate she dropped her bag and hoped her self defense classes would at least allow her a chance. Her hopes were dashed the instant the first man caught her arm and slammed her to the ground.
"Going to have some fun with this one!" He moved his mouth closer to Maggie's and she whimpered. She slapped at her attacker's arms uselessly and wasn't even able to do that when the girl of the group gripped her wrists.
The sounds of these drugged up scum were all she could hear, and she knew it was over…
...Except it wasn't. Three massive tendrils broke through the wall, and wrapped themselves around the gangers. Each was hoisted into the air andMaggie scrabbled backwards as she saw the green skinned woman stride through the new rubble, her eyes roving over each ganger, her mouth curling in a sneer.
"Humans." she practically spat the word. "And even then scum like you barely count. At least there's some use for you." She stroked a large leafy stalk, purring, "Eat, my darlings."
The tendrils retreated back through the hole they'd made taking the doomed thugs with them. their screaming cut short. Maggie was torn between being relieved and horrified. She took the opportunity to scuttle away.
Her escape was cut short as green sinews cut her off. She turned to face her captor, the supervillain with green skin, hair of a bright red hue and a calculating expression on her face.
She spoke after a moment, her voice like the rustle on an autumn wind. "Empty your pockets, little worker ant." As Maggie obeyed, Ivy knelt down and smiled at the seed packets she spotted. She held one up and looked at Maggie.
"I-I'm studying horticulture at school, took this job to help pay my way through it. I want to join the EPA or the GreenWayne project."
"I know the EPA, but the other one… something to do with the rich kid?"
Maggie nodded, "Yeah, he's been buying up desolate real estate and having old buildings replaced with parks and woodlands. He's had one place upstate turned into an animal preserve."
"Oh, joy, some uber rich kid has pangs of conscience and is putting a bandaid on the gunshot wound." Ivy's sarcasm was unmissable. Maggie felt her rire rise now, determined that if these were her last moments then she would use them as well as she could.
"At least he's trying to do something. Would you prefer someone who doesn't give a shit to be the top dog? The buses run on clean renewables, the sewers are as clean as he can get them, and there actually aren't any in his newer buildings since waste disposal is managed by Themysciran technology!"
Ivy paused, amused by the little ant's tirade. She'd met Bruce Wayne and whilst the famous trillionaire was a foppish playboy, he was, admittedly, the least worst option. She made her decision. Placing one hand under Maggie's chin, she said, "Well, little ant, you're my worker now. Let's do some of the renovation Mr Wayne can't get away with shall we?"
Gordon checked what he'd just heard. "Spelt with a hyphen you say."
"Yup, Spider-Man."
Bullock looked puzzled. "I thought only chicks had those."
Montoya groaned. "Jeez Harv, two sexist references in one sentence?"
"Yeah, babe, you're right, I'm losing my grip. It shoulda been four."
"Only losing your grip on your sanity, Harv."
"I'm a cop, in Gotham." Harvey grinned when his partner failed to have an answer.
A few metres separated them from Spider-Man and the hero watched on briefly. He scratched his head and asked. "Are they usually like this?"
"No, usually they've gone back downstairs to get me more coffee and do the paperwork." The hint in Gordon's voice left his officers in no doubt as to where they should be.
The debate on whether Montoya would be more patronised doing secretarial work or making coffee trailed away, answered only by Renee's friendly retort about having to do the paperwork because of Bullock's spelling.
Gordon smiled ruefully at his officers' banter before turning his attention back to the vigilante. "Now we can talk properly."
Spider-man nodded,"Establish ground rules, the major players good and bad. and our allies. After that, I need to figure out where I can stay."
"Okay Spider-Man, sheesh that's a mouthful of a name. Is there anything shorter we can use?"
"Spidey would be fine. Now, as much as I'm feeling a little better that the local law enforcement have decided that it isn't 'arrest me, or 'shoot on sight' I need to concentrate on a few other problems. I have no money, and no shelter and the adrenalin rush that turns me into mister talky is wearing off. Can you help me with that?"
"Head down to the Gotham Grill house on Wayne Street. It's open twenty four hours and most of the GCPD eats there at one point or another. Tell them I sent you but don't get used to it."
"What about somewhere to stay?"
"If you have a set of civilian life skills, then try looking for work at Wayne Enterprises."
Spider-Man looked at Gordon curiously. "I keep hearing that name. And seeing it, too."
Gordon nodded. "You would. The guy practically owns the city and a lot of the infrastructure it runs on. He's one of the good guys, but a real playboy."
There was a short laugh from the hero. "You ever heard of a guy called Tony Stark?"
"No, I haven't. Anyway, I'm glad we met but we both need to get on wit things. My people will keep an eye out for your presence."
Spider-Man nodded, before extending his hand, which was hook firmly by Commissioner James Gordon.
Watching the young hero fling himself into the night sky, Gordon could only think to himself, It would be me that has to deal with another grief stricken orphan taking up crime fighting, wouldn't it?