0.4 Wail
When it had flashed up on the news, she had told herself not to panic – she had tried her best to control her breathing and the way her hands shook as she moved up from her position on the couch. She had promised Howie that she would spent the day relaxing but then he had promised her he would stay safe. Her hand moved to rest on her growing bump, she was thirty-four weeks pregnant and was meant to be staying as stress-free as possible. Howie had even given her a stern look before he left the house, only an hour before, as he warned her that he would finish the crib and the changing table when he got home.
It would have been much easier to stay stress-free if she didn't have to think about her husband and brother running into a collapsing building. She had been watching the news as she went through the baby to do list she had created – all the things she wanted to get done before they met their son in a few weeks – only to be distracted when the news flashed up with a report of a bomb explosion at a hotel. She has tried to quell the thoughts after she immediately jumped to all the wrong conclusions. This is what she had signed up for, after all, she knew Howie regularly got into some dangerous situations in the name of helping others.
It didn't help when she saw the three numbers on the side of a fire truck that she didn't want to see right then. Her heart thumped uncomfortably against her chest, the fear had always been there but pregnancy had intensified those feelings a hundred times over. So much so that Howie no longer returned home with stories of what they had done that day, when she asked how his day was he just shrugged his shoulders and changed the story. It had put somewhat of a gap between them, what had once been passionate discussions or debates about what he and the team had done that day had quickly become Maddie bursting into tears as the worst case scenario rushed through her head.
She managed to keep herself busy for two hours, bustling around the house, cleaning the kitchen several times as she kept glancing on over at the television. When the building fully collapsed, a feeling of sickness washed over her. Suddenly she couldn't wait at home, she couldn't wait for the phone to ring or some random journalist to tell her that something had happened to her husband or brother. The brunette grabbed her jacket and her phone on her way out, dialling the first number she could think of, "Athena?" She was relieved to hear the calm voice on the other end of the phone, Athena was in control always and if she wasn't panicking, Maddie hoped for just a moment she didn't have anything to worry about. "I-I saw the building on the news, are you there? Have you seen any of them?"
When the Sergeant confirmed that she was there but she hadn't seen any of 118, Maddie was sure she heard just a quiver in her voice. In the hopes it was something she had imagined, she shook it off as she got into her car and started it up, "I'm on my way, can you make sure they let me through?" She knew it was a big ask, that the other woman could so easily say no because it was against regulation but instead, she was greeted with a soft sigh and confirmation that she would make it happen.
Maddie quickly realised as she pulled out the driveway that the agreement wasn't a good sign.
The drive seemed to take a lot longer than the ten minutes it had, before she pulled up around the corner and abandoned the car in haste. She had to get to Athena, she had to know what was going on. Memories of Howie and Buck waiting for her outside the dispatch centre after the hostage situation flooded her mind, and she hoped they'd both realise that no matter how terrified she was, she'd always be there to make sure they got home safe if their lives were in immediate danger.
When she saw Athena, it didn't make her concerns any less, the woman looked exhausted and scared. Her hand quickly found Maddie's and she pulled her into a hug, "There's a few firefighters missing – I haven't seen anyone from the 118 but there are people in there looking." She was trying to sound strong and confident but both of them knew the possibilities of what could have happened to their loved ones. Not only were their husbands and Maddie's brother in there but the rest of the 118 who they considered family.
Maddie stayed by Athena as they awaited with baited breath, seeing firefighters and others being dragged out the building. It gave her hope that some were alive and breathing, injured but alive and that was all she could cling to right then.
Hen was the first to be pulled out; dusty and bleeding but very much alive.
After her was Eddie, holding his arm as though he was in pain and Maddie knew Buck wouldn't be far behind. She was right, because only five minutes later her brother followed, carrying an unconscious woman in his arms who he quickly handed off. From where she stood she could see he was bleeding and limping ever so slightly, he was trying to cover it up but the grimace on his face gave him away. He shook the hand of the firefighter who had come out with him, and patted Eddie on the back with a grin of complete relief. When she finally managed to meet his eyes, she saw him whisper something to his best friend before he ran over to her, "Maddie, what are you doing here? You're meant to be resting." He gestured to her stomach as though somehow she had forgotten, and for the first time she let go of Athena's hand and wrapped both her arms around her little brother.
It was the first time she had let the tears fall – relieved that he was okay, that he had made it through but still terrified for those left behind. It had been two hours since she had arrived outside the building and the more time that passed, the more fearful she was. "We got stuck under some rubble, I hit my head but I'll be okay. We thought we had more time before the building came down – I think we managed to get most people out but it's… it's bad Maddie." She could tell by the haunted look on his face that whatever he had seen in there would be something he would remember for years to come.
"I'm glad you're okay." She finally whispered as she pulled back to examine him better, the cut on his head looked deep and was still bleeding ever so slightly. He would need stitches and checking for a concussion, "Is your leg okay?" She asked him, frowning when he shrugged it off, she gave him the look that let him know she wasn't messing around.
"It got caught, Eddie managed to pull it out. Trust me, I've had a firetruck fall on me, a slab of concrete is nothing." The eldest of the Buckley's knew she wouldn't get any admittance of pain from the youngest, so she left it, knowing she had from the moment she knew Howie was okay to an endless amount of time afterwards to lecture Buck.
"Did you see him?" She finally asked, biting down on her lip hard when he shook his head, "We all split up when we got inside – Chim went with Hen and the Cap." He explained, terrified but knowing his fear would only cause his pregnant sister and the Sergeant next to her to go into further panic.
"But they pulled Hen out ages ago," She whispered, the sudden realisation that her husband and father of their unborn child might not be okay. "They pulled Hen out and if she was with Howie then where is he?" There was no answer. Not from her brother or from Eddie or Hen who had come over to join them. She could hear the three of them refusing to go to the hospital to get checked out – Hen spoke for all three of them as she said she'd only go to the hospital when all the team were out.
She had been on her feet for over four hours by the time they saw the unconscious Fire Captain being carried from the building. It was in that moment they lost Athena as she ran to be with her husband and she could feel her brother falter for just a second before he gripped onto his sisters arm. From where they were standing, they could see a group of the Firefighters who had been sent in to rescue those still the building after the second collapse, shaking their heads. They were giving up. She could tell by the way they looked behind them at what had once been a beautiful hotel, and then at the crowd of police officers, EMT's, people who were still waiting for news of their loved ones and bystanders.
They were giving up which meant they didn't think anyone left in there was still alive.
Somehow her brother anticipated it before she did, his arms holding her up as she began to collapse to the ground, a heartbreaking wail escaping. It was pain as she had never felt before, she couldn't breathe, the world was closing in around her. Buck's grip tightened on his sister, his own tears falling as he listened to her heart breaking. This wasn't the ending she and Chimney deserved – he had been so looking forward to being a dad, it was all he could talk about for the past six months. His face lit up with every time he came into the fire station with a new scan photo or something he had picked up for the baby.
And for the first time, his sister was being loved in the way she deserved, she was happy. For it to be taken away so suddenly didn't make any sense. He quickly pulled his sister up and looked at Hen, "You got her?" He asked, determination in his eyes as he kissed his sisters head, "No man left behind." He muttered, knowing that no matter what, he wasn't going to leave there tonight without being certain of Chimney's fate.
"Where were you when it collapsed?" He asked Hen, urgency in his tone, he could see Eddie in the corner of his eye and he knew his best friend was already on the same wavelength as he was. He wouldn't let Buck do this alone and they wouldn't let anyone stop them.
"We were in the lobby, Chimney was giving CPR to the receptionist. That was the last time I saw him." It gave them a starting point at least, it was all they needed – Buck had the greatest inspiration to bring his brother-in-law home. He and Eddie ran as fast as they could, ignoring their own injuries as they focused on one thing and one thing only – getting into that building without anyone stopping them.
Hen could only watch helplessly as two members of the 118 family ran back in to save another. This was what they did, they hadn't left her behind when they had been told to, they weren't going to leave Chimney behind. She had to do her bit though, which right then, meant being strong for Maddie and the child she was so excited to be an honorary Aunt to in a few weeks. She whispered words or comfort in the woman's ear, not really sure it was going in but at least it gave her something to do to distract her from the fact her best friend might be gone.
It took half an hour before she managed to get Maddie to at least sit down in the back of an ambulance, worried that she was going to go into early labour as she sobbed. If the worst had happened, if he truly was gone, Hen didn't know how Maddie would take it, having to raise their child alone when all she and Chim could talk about since they started trying was the many, many plans they had. She kept her eyes focused on the hotel door that barely stood as it was, concrete scattered around, only the outer wall partly remained.
Someone had done this on purpose, she had to remind herself, this wasn't a natural disaster, this wasn't an accident. Someone had purposely walked into they building and set off a bomb and in the process, murdered at least dozens of innocent people. Her hand ran through Maddie's hair, the woman's sobs had decreased, she had exhausted herself.
Maddie's head rested on her husbands best friends shoulder and her eyes remained closed, one hand gripped onto Hen's and the other rubbed her stomach as she distantly tried to remember it she had felt the baby kick in the past few hours. Her eyes were still closed when she felt Hen stiffen up, too scared to open them. The tears that had previously started to dry up were starting again and for the first time since her brother had left, Hen let go of her. She felt gentle hands pushing her head from her shoulder before she was being encouraged to stand. It was only then she opened her eyes, looking over to see her brother, Eddie and –
"Howie?" She moved quickly, throwing her arms around the man when she got there, her face hidden in his neck as she sobbed. A moment later she pulled back, her eyes looking him up and down – he was walking, but he was covered in blood and he looked exhausted. "It's not all mine." He assured her, before his eyes moved to the woman who was being bundled into the back of an ambulance. Maddie could only assume it was the receptionist Hen had seen him working on before the collapse, and she knew he'd have spent the past few hours making sure she made it out alive.
"I thought you were dead." She blurted out, "They couldn't find you, they had given up." Her voice shook and her hands moved to either side of his face, both of them crying. He didn't have to say anything, or explain what had happened right then, she was just glad he was alive. When she felt him falter, adrenaline finally leaving his body – knowing he had fought not only to save the life of a stranger but his own life too for hours, completely alone and not knowing if anyone would find him – she was grateful that both her brother and Eddie were there to help him to the nearest ambulance.
"Thank you." She sobbed, repeating it over and over as she embraced the two men before she tip-toed to kiss their cheeks one by one. "You can send over those baby name suggestions you had." She teased her brother ever so slightly, only slightly serious because "Buck Junior" had made the list and that wouldn't happen no matter how thankful she was. He smirked as he helped her into the back of the ambulance, "And get your head checked out!" Her tone was stern as she reminded him that no matter what had happened between, she hadn't forgotten that her brother was hurt too. Right before the doors of the ambulance closed, the siblings made eye contact, and she mouthed 'I love you', before her attention turned to her husband.
He was pale, shaky and exhausted, neither she or the EMTs knew what blood was his and what wasn't but right then, he was alive. And she was so grateful that she didn't have to accept a life without the man she loved, "Thank you for fighting," She murmured, her hand grasping his as tightly as she could manage, "Thank you for coming home to us."
His eyes struggled to stay open, but he squeezed her hand, and managed a small smile, "I'll always fight to come home to you.. to both of you." He managed to get out, his eyes closed but his grip tight enough for her to know he was still with her.
Her own eyes closed in relief, the tears falling quickly even when she thought she had no more left to give, as their son gave her a swift kick as though to let her know he was okay too. "Thank you." She whispered, to no one in particular, just so phenomenally grateful to know she and Howie had a family who would fight for them no matter what.