0.1 Bruise

Her hand flew to her face, her mouth open and tears in her eyes as she tried to comprehend what had just happened.

It didn't make sense to her, she was twenty-four years old and had been in love with the man standing across from her for five years. Married for just one of those, but she still hadn't seen this coming. Had she?

In that moment she had to question herself – she had been so quick to fall into his loving, open arms when she so desperately wanted someone to show her what it felt like to be loved. They had met whilst she was volunteering at a hospital, alongside college, he was a handsome budding surgeon at seven years her senior. She hadn't fallen for him immediately, if anything she had found him cocky yet endearing. But he worked hard to get her attention, he showered her with gifts and compliments until she gave in.

After that, it had all happened so quickly, a whirlwind romance. He treated her as though she was a princess, and she loved how protective and jealous he could be. Until the jealousy turned into paranoia without her even noticing.

Alongside that, once she had graduated college, she had barely noticed as her friends stopped calling and texting to check on her and invite her places. She had to turn them down too many time's because Doug needed her - he'd had a stressful day at work or he had an early shift and didn't need her stumbling in so late in the night. It had happened gradually and so subtly that Maddie hadn't seen the world around her come closing in until it was only her and Doug.

He had never hit her though. Not until right then.

She thought about the women who came into the hospital, covered in bruises as they made pathetic excuses. She had judged them but for a moment, she felt as though she was one of them. But it was only once, she was sure it wouldn't happen again. The look on his face was as pathetic as the excuses those women made to her and the other nurses, and she let her hand drop when he fell to his knees and sobbed.

It had been a night like any other – they had finished their respective shifts at the hospital and driven home together. He had been quiet, stoic and awkward for the entire ride and she knew better than to try and make any conversation. She told herself he'd had a long day at work, perhaps he had lost a patient. The truth was, Maddie knew it would turn into a shouting match the moment they were behind closed doors as it so often did.

This was the first time the shouting had ended with him punching her, and then sobbing on the floor as he begged for her forgiveness. It was only once, she told herself, over and over again, her hands moving towards his head as he gripped at her legs. Gently, she brushed her fingers through his hair but she couldn't find the words to say. How could she tell him it was okay when she knew it wasn't? But all he wanted to hear right then was that she forgave him, but she couldn't gather the energy to talk.

Truthfully, five years into their relationship and she was already exhausted. She felt as though she was constantly justifying herself to him, the constant accusations of her cheating on him or wanting to cheat on him had driven her to try and avoid any contact with the opposite sex if she knew he was near or could be nearby. It didn't make her job easy but her relationship with Doug wasn't about making her life easy.

As soon as they had walked into the house that evening, he had started to slam his way around the kitchen, opening and closing cupboard doors before he finally said what he had wanted to say since he had seen her laughing at a joke another doctor had told. When he asked her why she insisted on flirting with other men when she was married to him, she had sighed because she knew what was coming.

Maddie has tried to stand her own ground, she had argued that she loved him and only him but it was pointless. It usually ended in a smashed glass or a slammed door, before he apologised and blamed her for riling him up. She'd apologise even though she never truly felt as though she had done anything wrong. It was why she hadn't expected his fist to come flying towards her, causing her head to snap suddenly and painfully. It was going to leave a nasty bruise, one that couldn't easily be covered up but it was only once.

She clung onto that, as her fingers continued to run through his hair and the tears finally fell. He was sorry and that was what mattered, right? It was just one bruise, one time, it wouldn't happen again.

And so, Maddie gulped back the lump in her throat, "It's okay, I'm sorry, it was my fault."

And that was all he needed to hear.

It was never just once.