A Million Miles Apart

A/N: Merry Christmas, everybody! Or God Jul, as we say here in Sweden. I hope you'll have a wonderful holiday! I want to take a moment to thank you all for sticking with the story and reviewing, favoriting and following- it makes me so happy! I also want to give a special thank you to CJtheStoryteller and Joanne N. Grey, who have been giving me reviews for almost every chapter for the last few months. Thank you, guys! Your kind words make this so much more fun than it already is!

Also, I'm gonna do something I don't normally do. I'm gonna answer a few reviewers, mostly because they are anonymous, and I can't answer through PM. So, first, to the reviewer Greninja: I'm glad for your suggestion- I have an idea like that in mind for the future. Not exactly like what you're saying, but it's still close to it, really.

Next, to the reviewer, Skylar Skylark: thank you for your idea, but as it is, it's hard enough to write with six characters who share the same living space and give them all equal time to shine. So thank you for your character, and maybe in the future I can squeeze her into the story, but I can't make any promises. But thank you anyway.

Anyway, I hope you'll enjoy this chapter and please review, favorite and follow!

Chapter 44, Adjusting To Farm Life

The best way to describe today was slow. 'Cause that's what it was. Every second seemed to drag by at a snail's pace. And there wasn't that much to do around here anyway. After April had gone upstairs and dragged Casey out of bed and forced him to eat breakfast, she had taken him to go check out the nearest town to see if they could find any food and resources, since there wasn't much in the house. At least nothing that was fresh. She was obviously eager to get out and get supplies, and almost tried to push Casey along so they could get it over with. But Casey had tried to ask her, in an attempt to get out of helping,

"But do we even have any money? I didn't think of bringing any cash, and I don't think the guys or Splinter did either." But April just shrugged and waved him off with a small smile.

"No sweat, I thought about it in advance. Also part of a reason I wanted to swing by my apartment before we left." She grabbed her bag and dug out her wallet, producing a small, plastic credit card from one of the pockets. "My dad gave me this for my last birthday. In case of emergencies. And I'd say being stuck out here for who knows how long, in a house with six people, is definitely an emergency. In case Dad gets mad I can always get a job after we save New York and pay him back, but I doubt he'll be that mad about it." And it was pretty hard to argue with that.

And with them gone, we just didn't know what to do. Mikey's first instinct was trying to drag me outside so we could check out the forest, the lawn and the chickens that were cooped up inside their little pen. But Master Splinter had forbidden him from going out, partly because there was still some snow covering the grass and it was pretty cold outside, and with us being cold blooded (well, warm blooded technically but with a much lower normal temperature, according to Donnie), it wasn't exactly a good idea to go out when it was still cold enough to be snowing outside. Another reason was that he wanted us to stay close for now, since we didn't know if there were any people living close to us, or roaming through those woods right now.

"We just arrived here yesterday, my sons. We do not yet know much about how many people live around here." Mikey had tried to convince him to let him go, and tried to tell him that April had told us that no one lived close to us and that we'd be safe. But Master Splinter had remained firm and just stated that he wasn't willing to take the risk. He said that April and her family hadn't stayed in this house for years, and things might have changed since she was here last.

So we were all sitting in the living room and trying to entertain ourselves. Mikey was scrolling through the channels on the old TV and eventually stopped on a channel that showed some stupid-looking cartoon with a He-Man looking character running around with a big sword in his hand. I rolled my eyes at the stupidity of the cartoon, but Mikey was eating it all up with a big smile on his face and with big eyes.

"Dude, this show is awesome! Crognard is the best show since Super Robo Mecha Force! Come on, watch with me, bro!" I rolled my eyes, but couldn't help but smile at Mikey and his enthusiasm. Mikey had been so down in the dumps the last three months and we had rarely seen him smile or heard him talk, so it was really nice to see him finally act more like his old self again.

"Nah, I think I'll pass, bro. Maybe later." Mikey shrugged and turned back to the TV, where he was lying on the floor on his stomach and his feet in the air. Master Splinter shook his head at him with a soft smile and turned to look over Leo. His fever had apparently gone down enough so we wouldn't have to worry, but he still refused to wake up. I was standing on my knees, my arms folded on the back of the couch, and looked over my brother. He looked pretty peaceful right now, but April had told me that he'd had a nightmare earlier this morning, so he may not be as peaceful as he looked.

"He is gonna wake up, right, Sensei?" Master Splinter sighed and stroked his hand over Leo's forehead. Leo stirred a little, but showed very little movement aside from that.

"It is just a broken leg, and his injuries are not severe enough to be life-threatening. I'm sure he will wake up soon. But his injuries may take some time to heal, and his spirit may also need some healing." Mikey looked over his shoulder, and for the first time over the last hour his focus was not on the TV. He turned down the volume a little and kneeled down close to Leo's head. He grabbed Leo's hand and nuzzled his face against it.

"Come on, Leo. You can wake up now. Shredder and his freaky dudes are gone- we're safe now. You gotta wake up!" He pressed Leo's hand against the side of his face and looked down on Leo's still body with big, puppy-dog eyes. Splinter placed an arm around Mikey's shoulders and hugged him against his side.

"We must be patient, Michelangelo. Your brother is strong, but he needs to heal in his own time. Do not worry, he will wake up. But maybe not today." Mikey looked down at the floor, nodded and let go of Leo's hand. He leaned into Splinter's embrace for a second and then turned around to look at his cartoon again. But he kept the volume down this time and didn't look quite as invested as he had been before. But after about five minutes he started get into it again.

I looked down on Leo and his bandaged leg. A broken leg wasn't too bad, speaking from my own experience and after having gone through a lot of injuries in my life, either from sparring sessions or from a real battle. I mean, it wasn't exactly anything good, but considering what could have happened, it was better than several of the alternatives. I mean, Karai might have gone an extra mile and tried to cut Leo's leg off altogether. Though it may have taken a while with her tanto. I stroked Leo's uninjured leg and sighed.

"Rest easy, pal. You'll get better. I know you will." I got up and walked over to an armchair placed close to the fireplace and sat down. I took my T-Phone out of my belt and tapped into the phone's album and looked over all the pictures I had in there. Not that many, really. I wasn't exactly a photographer, and there was very little that I thought was worth having pictures of. But there were a few there, and most of them were of my family, a lot of them in stupid or embarrassing situations. You know, in case a situation where blackmail might be needed were to arise. My eyes fell on one of these kinds of pics; I tapped on it and the picture filled the whole screen. A picture of Donnie in his lab.

It hadn't exactly been uncommon for Donnie to fall asleep in his lab instead of his room, and it had become more and more common when he was working on that retro-mutagen for April's dad. And one night Leo and Mikey thought it was my turn to drag the Brainiac to his bed, without consulting me, of course. And when I walked in there I had found him asleep with his face in one of his notebooks and his cheek pressed against a page like it was his pillow. He also had his elbow on the desk, his arm in the air and a pen in his hand, which he somehow had managed to not drop when he fell asleep, and his other hand was placed under his cheek to support his head.

I had at the time found the scene hilarious and couldn't help but take a picture of him before I had carried him off to his room. And when I showed it to Leo and Mikey, they had also found it pretty funny. But now the only laugh that came over my lips was a small, fond little chuckle. In a way he looked kinda adorable- in a geeky kinda way, but still. He was always trying so hard to act like an adult and like he was so mature because he was so smart, so when he slept it was the only time you could really see him look innocent and childlike. He looked so relaxed and careless, despite lying in a very uncomfortable-looking position. I felt my eyes get warmer and a few tears forming in the corners of my eyes. I blinked hard and wiped my eyes with my arm, hoping that neither Mikey nor Splinter saw me, and put my phone away.

'Donnie, where are you? Why haven't you tried to contact us? I know you most likely hate me after everything I've said and done to you over the years, but I know that you care about Mikey, April and Splinter. So why haven't you done anything to reassure them that you're okay?'

I sighed and leaned my head against the back of the chair and closed my eyes, trying to kill the tears that wanted to slip out from between my eyelids.

After sitting and trying to breathe calmly for a few minutes, I took Donnie's journal from my belt and looked down at the cover. I hesitated for a second and looked up at Splinter and Mikey to see what they were doing. But Splinter had his eyes locked on Leo, and Mikey was glued to the TV. I took a deep breath and opened the journal, flipping to the page I had skimmed through a little before we left New York.

Journal Entry: April 20th, 2014

Well, this day certainly could have gone a whole lot better. I don't know how many times I've told myself to start listening to Master Splinter more and take his advice to heart, but tonight I really feel like it cost a lot more than it should have.

The Kraang are back in the city and they tried to ship cargo of some sorts to, I guess, TCRI, and when we found out, we tried to stop it. And we failed- miserably.

The cargo, which of course turned out to be mutagen, was spilled all over the city and- on top of that- April's dad was hit by one of the canisters. And what's worse- when April found out that we were largely responsible for that, she was furious. I have never seen such hate in her eyes, and the fact that it was directed towards us felt horrible, to say the very least. She said she never wanted to see us again and ran off.

I hate to make this about me, 'cause I feel terrible for April and her father, but I don't think she realized how she broke my heart. I mean, I'm sure she blames all of us for what happened, but why did she have to look directly at me when she said she never wanted to see us again? Ugh, I don't know, I'm probably thinking too much about my own feelings when April's the real victim here, but still. I mean, I can't help that I have feelings, right?

And I don't exactly blame April. I mean, if I found out my best friends were responsible for something terrible that affected my family, I would be a little ticked off too. Still, couldn't she have looked directly at Mikey when she said it? I mean, he's the one who kicked that Kraang so if flew across the ship and hit that button that opened the hatch in the floor! It was more his fault than anyone else's. And Raph and Leo hit the wall so all the canisters fell out, but it wouldn't have been a big deal if it wasn't for Mikey. Why do I always have to pay or take responsibility for Mikey's irresponsibility? You would think he'd learn after having messed up so many times and learn to try and take responsibility for the things he did, but every single time he either tried to put the blame on someone else, or hide from the responsibility. But of course, I get the blame. 'Cause I always get the blame for everything. Oh, something bad or inconvenient happened? Why didn't you figure it could happen, Donnie? Why didn't you calculate for every possible outcome, so that no matter what happens, we will still succeed? As if I have the ability to see the future, or can foresee every possible thing that could happen or go wrong. Last time I checked, it was Leo's job to lead us and make sure the mission runs smoothly, not mine! But, hey, just because I happen to be smart, that means I am the only one with a brain in between his ears!

… No, I don't mean that. I can't mean that. I'm guess I should be kind of glad that April seems to hate me the most... I wouldn't wish what I'm feeling right now on anyone else, much less my own brothers. Mikey is my only little brother, and here I am bad talking about him and blaming him for my own failures, wishing he was the one who knew what it felt like to be loathed by someone who was practically family. I'm a horrible big brother. I'm so glad Leo's the oldest. If I were, I'd fail all three of them as an elder. Why am I insulting Leo? He's probably got a much harder job than me. I'm just as guilty of expecting him to come up with perfect solutions. I have no right to talk. And Raph is more capable in battle than me, so he takes out more enemies than I ever will; I have no right to complain about something he did when his mistakes are still better than my getting it right.

Ugh... I mean, seriously, What is wrong with me? Here we just screwed up so badly it has hurt our best friend in the worst way possible and New York has mutagen canisters all over, and here I am, complaining about being held responsible for said screw-up. I seriously need to get my head out of my shell and focus on what's important right now; finding those canisters and finding a cure for mutations so we can help April's dad, and everyone else who gets affected. I should probably get to work on that right away, not sit here like a lazy bum and feel sorry for myself.

I looked up from the journal and stared out into space without seeing anything. So even when he wrote the journal to try and let out his frustrations, he still tried to reign his emotions back in and put others above himself. I mean, I knew he always did that, it was part of who Donnie was and he was incredibly selfless. But I never thought he was so considerate and caring towards others that he didn't allow himself to feel upset or vent out his emotions. I mean, he had always been like that, but this much? Even in private? How had I not noticed that?

Donnie had, for as long as I can remember, been a guy that tried to hold back his emotions and keep them on a tight leash. Even as a kid he always tried to act like he wasn't bothered by Mikey messing up an experiment, Leo not listening to him, or me pushing him around. And speaking as a guy who more or less wore a lot of his emotions on his sleeve, and who lashes out at anyone who tries to push me around or wrong me in any way, it just seemed really unhealthy to do that. But he never seemed to want to open up to us or anyone that was supposed to be someone he could trust. But I had never thought that he kept on such a tight leash, even to himself and his own thoughts. I guess he cared so much about others that the slightest little selfish thought made him feel guilty about it.

I bit my lip. Now, again, I'm speaking as someone who doesn't believe in holding back your emotions; I always acted out on them in one form or another; either by talking to Spike (which wasn't much of an option anymore, but still) or by blowing off steam by sparring, beating up bad guys or the practice dummy. I have no idea how people like Leo or Donnie can seemingly let an insult roll off their backs like it was nothing, like it didn't bother them, and in a way I envied them for that ability. Well, Leo seemed to not let it bother him that much. Donnie, on the other hand, I didn't know. For so long I had thought that he was like Leo and insults or rude comments didn't bother him, but now I wasn't sure anymore. After reading this page alone I was starting to have second thoughts about how I saw Donnie. And if I was right and Donnie kept his emotions, feelings, frustrations and stress buried deep down in himself, then he must have a seriously unhealthy habit.

"We're back!" I jumped and immediately put the journal back in my belt before anyone could see it and looked at the door. April came in with a big paper bag in her arms. She smiled at me and nodded her head at the door. "Hey, Raph, do you think you and Mikey could help us carry the stuff inside?" I got out of the chair and Mikey followed me out the door and outside, passing Casey as he walked back inside.

The cold air was a bit of a shock. I mean, I had experienced the colder seasons before, but as the years had passed and Donnie had gotten better with electronics, he had fixed a few heaters just in case of especially cold winters. But still, it was a bit much, since we had been inside a warm house for almost a day now.

Mikey also felt it, and was pretty loud about it.

"Oh, oh! It's so cold out here, man! I can't go out there, I'll turn into a turtcicle!" I rolled my eyes and smacked him upside the head.

"C'mon, Shellbrain. Ya won't die from a small walk back and forth between the Shellraiser and the house. Now get moving before your feet get frozen to the porch." His eyes widened and I smirked, turning and heading for the Shellraiser.

"That can't happen, right? You were joking, right, Raphie? Raph? Raph! Does that really happen?" Mikey called frantically, quickly moving to follow me and swiftly pulling a few bags into his arms and urging me to hurry. In response I rolled my eyes at him, and, getting the hint, he pouted at me. "You're a big liar, Raph." He whined, probably mad I'd tricked him yet again, and suddenly my mood was greatly improved.

There wasn't much complaining afterwards, as we went back out to get the last few bags, but he did groan dramatically as he followed behind me. I rolled my eyes again, even though he couldn't see it. I was starting to think that Mikey starting to act like himself again may not be as good as I thought it would be.

When we got back inside, April was already busy putting the food away in the refrigerator, the freezer or one of the three wide-opened cupboards. In the corner of my eye I saw Casey walk out the bathroom and up the stairs with a plastic bag of toilet paper and some soap and shampoo under his arms, so I guess April had put him on bathroom duty. She smiled as we placed the remaining paper bags on the table.

"Thanks, guys." She turned to Mikey and gave him a loaf of bread. "Mikey, can you put the canned foods, the cereal and all that stuff in those cupboards? And I want it to be organized. Don't put the stuff in there randomly." Mikey gave her a salute and put the loaf of bread over his shoulder like a rifle and gave her a goofy grin.

"Yes ma'am! Your wish is our command!" She shook her head and rolled her eyes with a tolerant smile and bonked him on the head with cucumber.

"Right over there, wise guy." She pointed to the pantry with the cucumber and Mikey hurried over with the bread, a cereal box, a few cans of food and a package of spaghetti in his arms. April turned to me and pointed to the fridge.

"Raph, you can put the stuff that needs to stay frozen in the freezer. There's not that much space in there, since Ice Cream Kitty lives there, so don't just throw it all in there." I pretended to look offended and placed a hand to my chest.

"Me? What kind of guy do you take me for?" April just looked at me with raised eyebrow and a cocky smile and handed me a bag of frozen peas. I walked up to the freezer and opened the door. I was immediately greeted by Ice Cream Kitty and her usual happy, greeting meow. I was about to put the peas beside her, but she grabbed the bag the second after I put them down and she placed them in the back on the fridge and turned back to me, as if she expected me to have more stuff to put in her home. I walked over the table and grabbed the rest of the frozen food- some beef, some pizzas, some vegetables and fruit and a few packages of ice cream. I was not allowed to place the stuff there as I pleased, 'cause Ice Cream Kitty took each item and placed it very carefully and neatly so it fit her the way she wanted it. Quite the interior decorator, it seemed.

"Picky cat," I muttered and closed the fridge door. I turned to look at the others and it seemed they were almost done, too. Mikey put away some more bread, spaghetti, a few bags of chips and some spices in the last cupboard and closed it, just as April put the packages of milk and the butter in the fridge. As she closed the refrigerator door, she leaned against it and let out a heavy sigh.

"Finally, we're done." She muttered and walked up to the table and started to fold the paper bags so she could recycle them later. "You wouldn't believe how hard it was to find the town from here, and when we got there we had to find somewhere to park the Shellraiser where no one could find it. I mean, it's not exactly a normal vehicle to drive around in, right?" She didn't wait for us to answer that question. "And the grocery store was so crowded. Like, who goes shopping for food this early on a regular Tuesday?" Mikey moved up behind her and started to massage her shoulders.

"Mm, you just take it easy, honey. All that stress is just not healthy! It's just not good for your complexion. Plus you'll get wrinkles by the time you're twenty. You just relax and let us manly men handle that hard business while you go take a bath upstairs and just relax." He put on a ridiculous over-the-top feminine voice, like he was a woman working at a spa or something and like he knew what he was talking about, but it was clear he was both trying to help and make her laugh. And I'd say he succeeded with both. April let out a giggle and gently pushed Mikey's hands over her shoulders. He smiled back and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"But seriously, you go an relax, take a bath, read a book or do something else, while I get started on dinner? We'll get ya when it's done, 'kay?" She smiled and nodded.

"Yeah, a bath sounds pretty good right now. Thanks, Mikey. Just... don't hesitate to call me if there's a problem." She started to walk up the stairs, but then stopped and looked back at us. "And I mean call me on my phone. I do not want you to come in while I'm bathing, okay?" She didn't need to convince us. Neither I nor Mikey had any plans on walking into that bathroom while April was trying to relax in the bathtub. Without clothes.

But, with that said, Mikey grabbed the chicken fillets that were still lying on the kitchen counter and started to cut them up into six pieces and prepare for dinner, just like he said he would. He turned to look at me over his shoulder and waved at me with the knife.

"You go and do something somewhere else, dude. You're not allowed anywhere near the stove!" I raised my hands defensively with a smirk and backed out of the kitchen, closing the door after me. I wasn't exactly good at cooking, and I didn't even enjoy cooking or doing stuff in the kitchen. But I understood where Mikey was coming from. Ever since he had seen how much we messed up the kitchen while trying to make breakfast the day he got 'shell-acne,' he had pretty much banned us from trying to cook again. Not that I mind. It just means less work for us.

I peeked into the living room and over at Leo, who still didn't show any signs of waking up. But this time he seemed to be either having another nightmare or was in pain, because he was whimpering a little and shifting around on the couch, so the blanket Splinter had placed over him almost fell off. Splinter stroked his forehead and kept his hand in a gentle but still strong grip.

"It is alright, my son. You are safe. Everything is going to be fine." I looked down at the floor, sighed and walked up the stairs and to the guest room. I sat down on the bed and leaned my head back against the wall and sighed heavily. I clenched my fists and closed my eyes as tightly as I could.

Mikey was right. We were broken. But not broken beyond repair. Casey and April tried to remain helpful and optimistic for us, and Splinter did his best to be there for us, while also trying to move on with his grief himself. And while Mikey had had a very hard time to move past his own grief, he was trying to act as normal as he could now that Leo was out. And right now, my family needed me to be strong for them. At least until Donnie came home and we could save the city. Hopefully he would come before we went back; we really needed him to save New York. We needed him so we could be a whole team again. And we needed him before our family fell apart.

I grabbed the small bag I had brought with me from home and dug out a small picture. It was a family picture- well, minus me and Splinter. The one that Slash had, well, slashed when he had gotten himself mutated and tried to take out my brothers. I still hadn't entirely forgiven him for that. But thankfully Donnie had been able to get me a new one, that wasn't damaged. Like I said, I didn't keep many pictures of anything, especially not my family, but I had a few lying around, both on my phone and at home. And I felt the need to at least bring one or two pictures of them, in case there would be nothing left of the lair when we got back.

Anyway, I was needed here, for my family. I had to put my focus on the guys and how they were doing now, and not so much of my feelings and what I believed in. These guys needed me to lean on and to be their rock. I looked down at the picture of Mikey, Leo and Donnie and looked specifically at Donnie.

"I'm sorry, Donnie, but I need to be here for our family now. They need me right now, and I can't let them down. You understand, right?" Of course the picture didn't answer me, but it still felt like there were no hard feelings between us. I smiled and put the picture down on the bedside table and tucked Donnie's journal in a drawer. And just to be safe, I placed a book over it, so nobody would accidentally find it. After that, I walked out of the room and down to the living room to wait for dinner.

April had taken a pretty long bath. She didn't come out of the bathroom after, like, a little more than an hour, and she almost looked like she had been sleeping a little. So that left the rest of us to prepare dinner and clean up after her and Casey's trip to the town. Not that anyone minded; we all knew how stressed she must be after everything that had happened. And besides, it was her house we were staying in, so it only made sense that we payed her back somehow. I mean, she would most likely say that it wasn't necessary, but still.

Raph had at first offered to help me chop salad, but when I had insisted that I could do it myself, he had chosen to help me to set the table instead while I kept an eye on the chicken and the rice. After he was done with that he went outside to get some firewood. It was in the middle of September now, and it was getting dark outside much earlier now, and on top of that it was really getting cold, both inside and outside the house. Casey was sitting at the table and seemed to be writing something on a notepad. Though he didn't seem that into it and would let out an impatient sigh or groan every now and then. He rested his face in his hand, his elbow on the table and stared down at the paper in front of him with angry and tired eyes. I debated whether I should ask him or not, but then smelt something burnt and checked over the chicken before it burnt completely.

Raph came back through the door with his arms full of logs, so many that I couldn't see his face. Well, almost anyway. He staggered over to the fireplace and placed the firewood in the basket beside the fireplace. Not very gracefully; they all just landed in a big heap, all higgledy-piggledy. He shuddered and rubbed his hands together in front of the fire to try and warm them.

"It's freezing out there! Isn't it still supposed to be late summer? What's with the cold and the snow?" He sounded cranky, which normally didn't concern me that much, since he always sounded like he was in a bad mood, but for now it felt good to hear Raph sound like himself and not all depressed. Casey looked up from the paper for a second, then looked back down again and sighed.

"Guess it's an early winter this year." Raph groaned and rolled his eyes even though Casey couldn't see it and walked over to the kitchen, throwing off the scarf he had, ahem, 'borrowed' from Casey when he went outside, and threw it up on the hat-rack as he passed the hallway.

"Yeah? Well, if it keeps up like this we may not be able to train for some time. At least not outside." I looked over at the living room, as much as I could from the stove, anyway, and wondered if Splinter could hear him. But Splinter's attention had been on Leo all day, so even if he did, he probably didn't care that much. Not right now, anyway. Raph sat down at the table and rested his face in his hands.

"Ugh, I'm starving. How long 'til dinner's done, Mikey?" I turned down the plate so the chicken would stay warm while the rice finished boiling, and checked the sauce.

"It should be done any minute now. Somebody should probably go and tell April to come down to eat soon." Raph muttered 'I'll do it', and grabbed his phone to send her a text message. Casey looked up at Raph and for a second I thought he looked angry. No, not angry. Only a little, but it didn't really fit. I had only seen the that expression on Donnie's face when-... Casey was talking or looking at April. I shook my head. Nah, April and Casey weren't- I mean, if they were, they would tell us, right? Yeah, they totally would! I mean, Casey had liked April as much as Donnie had, so of course he would look jealous even if they were together. Which they weren't.

Raph didn't notice Casey's small glare, and Casey looked down into the papers again and scribbled a little at the bottom of the page. He sighed loudly, which made Raph look up and roll his eyes in annoyance.

"Can you keep it down? If you think listening to you sounding bored and tired is helping the rest of us feel less bored, then you are sadly mistaken." Casey looked up and glared at Raph, and this time he was clearly annoyed and frustrated.

"Hey, do you wanna take over? Because if so, please, be my guest! I'd like to see you do better!" Raph glared back at him, then looked down at the paper in front of Casey and stood up to get a better look at it.

"What are you doing, anyway?" Casey sighed and again and dropped the pen he still had in his hand.

"April put me on economy duty. It's my job to put together how much we might need of everything, like food and toiletries, and put together a budget for us. April says it would make things easier if we know how much we spend every time to we go to store." He groaned and placed his face in one hand. "Only problem is that I'm not good at this kind of stuff. Casey Jones and numbers don't go together." I probably should have felt sorry for him, but I didn't. I couldn't stop myself from laughing at him.

"Haha! Dude, you totally got the short stick!" Casey looked at me with eyelids at half-mast.

"Short end of the stick, Mikey," he corrected, unamused. I shrugged and stirred the sauce with a spoon.

"If you prefer that." He half-glared at me and then turned back to his papers. Raph smirked and leaned back on his chair, folding his arms behind his head and resting one foot on his knee.

"Yeah, Case, Mikey's got a point. Figures that April would stick you with the job you suck at." Casey just rolled eyes and tried to ignore us, but I could still see he wanted to punch both of us. I laughed again

"Yeah. You know, Donnie said that-" I cut myself off and pressed my lips together and turned back to the stove. No, don't think about it. Not now. The last thing the guys needed now was to feel sad again. But both Raph and Casey looked at me now, all other thoughts and feelings forgotten. Raph sat up straight and Casey pushed his stuff aside.

"What did Donnie say?" I shrugged and turned the stove off and poured the water into the pot of rice.

"Eh, nothing. It's not important." I could feel their looks on the back of my neck and tried my best to ignore them. Thinking about Donnie was the last thing they needed right now. Raph especially.

April came into the kitchen and yawned loudly, making her presence known. She was just dressed in her black leggings, a pair of cozy socks and an oversized sweater. Her hair was down and still wet from her bath and she hadn't bothered to put it in a ponytail. She stretched her arms over her head and yawned again.

"Man, I think I fell asleep in the bathtub for a second. I really needed to just relax." She looked up at me and smiled when she saw that dinner was ready to be placed on the table. "Thanks, Mikey. I really appreciate this." I smiled and placed the chicken on the table.

"No problemo, Ape. It is my pleasure to please the lady of the house." I tried my best at a formal British accent and bowed before her. She smiled and rolled her eyes at me, but I could hear a teeny, tiny little laugh come out of her mouth, so I claimed it as a victory. Master Splinter came into the kitchen too, sniffed the air and smiled.

"It smells delicious, my son. You did all of this by yourself?" I nodded with a big smile. He smiled and placed an arm around my shoulders. "I'm so proud of you, my son." I smiled wider, then let it fall off my face and looked towards the living room.

"How's Leo doing?" Splinter's smile turned into a sad frown and he turned to look over his shoulder, sighed and then turned back to us.

"There has been no change as of yet. His fever has dropped and he sleeps better, with very few interruptions. But he still shows no signs of waking up." My face fell and I looked down at the floor. I looked up when I felt April's hand on my shoulder and I smiled at her. But it was a weak one.

Dinner was a pretty quiet event. No one knew what to say or do to lift the mood or even strike up a conversation. The only sound that was heard was the sound of kitchen utensils against plates. Master Splinter sat there like a statue and showed very little emotion. April eyed us all uneasily, as if she was nervous or scared that we were gonna start fighting or something and Raph and Casey stared down at their plates without looking up for more than a few seconds. I wracked my brain and tried to come up with something funny to say to lighten the mood, but couldn't think of anything. I cursed my brain for that. The silence was unbearable and I knew that a good joke would be a great ice breaker, but I couldn't think of a good one. Raph looked up for a second and looked to the right, then the left and then slammed his fork down on the table, loud enough to get everybody's attention.

"So, what's the plan here, anyway? I mean, we stay here until Leo's recovered and until we're ready to take down the Kraang, I get that. But what are we gonna do until then? Just sit around?" Splinter took a deep breath and his eyes were closed tightly. Then he opened his eyes after a second and looked directly at Raph.

"Raphael, we arrived here only yesterday. As for now we simply wait for your brother to wake up and help him recover from his injuries. There is not much else we can do for now. It's too cold outside to train and there's not enough space to do it in here. And I do not want you boys to leave this house while it's cold enough to snow outside. I don't want to take any risks of you getting sick or hurt because of the cold." Raph sighed heavily and stuffed a tomato in his mouth.

"But, Sensei, we can't just sit here and do nothing! The Kraang are ripping the city apart, there's nothing on the news and no one gets in or out! We have to do something!" Master Splinter narrowed his eyes at Raph.

"Raphael, that is enough!" Raph shrank back in his seat but didn't lose his angry glare. I glanced at April and Casey, who also looked pretty uncomfortable because of the almost-argument. Raph opened his mouth to yell back at Sensei, but I wouldn't have it. I slammed my own utensils down and stood up, looking straight at both Splinter and Raph.

"Will you just knock it off! Both of you. I was hoping for a nice dinner without any fighting or people feeling down so we could feel like a good family for once! But apparently that's too much to ask for, huh?" I didn't wait for them to respond; I left the kitchen table and ran up the stairs. I heard April and Splinter call out after me, but I just went straight into the room Casey and I shared and sat down on the bed. I hugged my pillow close to my chest and buried my face into it, letting out a loud, muffled yell. When I felt done, I leaned back against the wall and sighed heavily.

April had said before that maybe we were a little broken, but right now, it felt like it was much more than a little broken. How were we gonna go back to the family we used to be? Raph was obviously still messed up from what happened to Donnie, Leo was hurt and I... well, I tried to keep my spirits up, but it wasn't easy. First Donnie, then Leatherhead and now Leo. Who would be next? How many more nightmares would I have of people close to me dying or going away? And how could I rely on my family to help me through it when they were still going through a lot of rough stuff themselves?

I reached down into my belt and pulled out the photo of me and Donnie. The smiles on both of our faces was close to bringing me to tears, but I fought back against them. I refused to let them fall this time. Still, I couldn't deny that I missed my big brother. He always knew what to say to make me feel better, no matter how I was feeling.

I heard a soft knock on the door but I didn't look up. The door opened gently and in the corner of my eye I could see Raph walk in through the door, very hesitantly, a bowl in his hand. He looked at me with sorry but unsure eyes and closed the door behind him. He walked up to me and stopped about two feet away from the bed.

"Hey, Mikey." I still didn't want to look up at him and kept my eyes locked on the photo, the pillow still pressed to my chest. Raph looked around a little and his grip on the bowl tightened slightly. "Um, April bought some ice cream for us. For dessert, you know. I... I thought you might want some." I still didn't look up at him and fingered the slightly crumbled photo.

"We are broken, aren't we, Raph?" I repeated the question I had asked April this morning, but this time I wanted an honest answer. I looked up at him and stared him straight in the eyes. "Aren't we?" Raph's eyes widened and put the bowl aside on the bedside table and kneeled down beside the bed.

"No, Mikey, we're not. We're just... you know, a little fractured. That's all. Nothing that can't be fixed. We'll recover, just like we always do." I looked away and down at the floor.

"Not from anything like this." I looked back at the photo and once again had to fight back my tears. And Raph saw that. He climbed up beside me on the bed and wrapped his arm around my shoulders and looked at the photo of me and Donnie. I saw a smile tug on his lips and he rested his chin on my shoulder.

"Mikey, what were you going to say before? You know, what Donnie had said to you?" I bit my lip and blinked again to fight back the tears. I took a deep breath and leaned into Raph's hold on me.

"He... he told me once that the surest sign that you're speaking to a true fighter is that he takes whatever challenges that get thrown his way and does the best he can, and doesn't run away from a chance to get better. I dunno, I just thought of that when all Casey did was groan and m*** over trying to figure out the numbers and our budget." Raph smirked but I could see he was also trying to fight back his feelings.

"Yeah. Donnie was always more of a fighter than he might have believed. He was always putting a hundred and ten percent into everything he did, even if he wasn't always very good at it." I nodded and rested my head on Raph's shoulder. His grip around my shoulders tightened a little and I could feel his warm breath against my neck.

"Look, Mikey, I'm sorry. I know our situation's tough right now, and I know that I'm not making it any better by acting like this. I'm trying not to, but-" I shook my head and put the photo on the bedside table so I could focus fully on Raph.

"No, Raph, it's cool. I know you need to blow off some steam every now and then, or you'll explode in a big pile of feels and that mushy goo that makes you the big softy you like to pretend that you aren't." I heard him snort a little in a small laugh, but he didn't say anything. "But you shouldn't try to pick fights right now. It's not the right time, bro." He nodded and eased up on his grip around me.

"Yeah, I know. I know I need to not let my feelings out on you guys right now, but it's hard. You know me, Mike, I'm not good at this kind of stuff. I'm trying to do what's right, but you gotta cut me a little slack here." I rolled my eyes and shoved him with my shoulder, to which he gave a shove in return.

"Dude, you have to try a little harder than that. You can't just try a little and expect us to take it like it's nothing. You have to actually try, bro." He nodded and now he just had his arm draped over my shoulders.

"Yeah, I know. I guess I need to try a little harder." I smirked as an idea came into mind and, as quickly as I could, I reached out and grabbed the spoon that was in the bowl with ice cream, and before Raph could react, I smacked the spoon that was covered with cold ice cream on his nose and his forehead. He jerked back in surprise and let out a yell as the spoon hit him. I laughed and pointed at him with the spoon.

"Haha, good thing I know good ways to snap you out of your funks then." He looked too surprised to do anything at first, then he glared playfully at me. His arm, that was still around my shoulders, tightened its grip and he caught me in a headlock, leaving me trapped in his strong grip. I struggled and tried to push him away, to no avail.

"Heh, you really should be more careful with what you get yourself mixed up in, little brother. Now you've made the beast angry." He took the spoon from me and dipped it into the ice cream. But instead of just leaving the spoon just covered with ice cream, he scoped some of it onto the spoon. I shrieked with laughter and tried to pull away, but couldn't, and Raph let the ice cream on the spoon drop onto my head. I shrieked again at the cold mess that hit my head and as soon as Raph pulled away, I flew up from the bed and started to jump up and down and tried to spot anything to wipe the ice cream off my head with.

"Agh, agh! Major brain freeze, dude!" Raph just scoffed and stood up from the bed.

"Heh, what brain?" He left the room, but came back after only a few seconds and gave me some toilet paper to wipe my head with. And while I cleaned myself up, he walked over to the bed and took the bowl and gave it to me.

"The rest of us were gonna play some cards downstairs. Feel free to join us, after you've cleaned up." He patted me on the shoulder and left the room. I smiled and hurried to clean myself up and throw the paper into the wastebasket.

"I'm coming!" I grabbed the bowl and hurried downstairs to join the others.

A/N: And it's done! Yay! It's hard to find time to write right now, because of school, but I'll be free from school this Friday (the day before Christmas, not yay...) and then I hope I'll be able to update some more, or at least regularly.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and please review, favorite and follow! G'night everybody, and Merry Christmas!