Disclaimer: I do not own anything written or created by Tolkien. I simply add my own continuations to his stories for entertainment.
A/N: Sorry I didn't update sooner! Life got in my way!
Many thanks to users...
Sev Baggins— I'm still in planning mode, so I'm not really sure if there will be pairings or who they will be if there are! *nervously giggles* But seriously, thanks for the awesome review and encouragement! I need all the luck I can get.
Random Guest— Aww! That's so sweet!
LilactheDryad— All in good time...
"Look, I don't know who you are—', I began for the third time as we followed the young men deeper into the woods.
"Valar save those who try to reason with unreasonable elleths!', the dark haired leader of the group said exasperatedly as he lifted his eyes to the heavens in frustration. The other individuals in the company were oddly silent, though at strange intervals they would smirk at their captain's frustration.
"Valar save you? Valar save me from having to deal with elves in general!', I retorted.
"You insulted yourself.', he said with a smirk.
"I am not an elf. See!" I yanked my hair into a high ponytail in order to show them my ears. "Ha!"
"Am I supposed to see something other than your distinctly pointed ears?"
"My ears are not pointed! Cassie! Tell them my ears aren't pointed!"
My best friend had gone pale where she had stood behind me.
"Aubrey... your ears are pointy."
"Oh geez, Cassie. I always knew we should have invested in those tinfoil hats...', I remarked sarcastically.
"I'm not brainwashed, Aubrey. I am dead serious." She pulled out a compact mirror from her bag and passed it to me.
"This is ridiculous! I think I would know if I were an elf." I shoved the mirror back into her hands.
"Aubrey! Just look into the stupid mirror!"
Cassie flipped open the utensil and shoved it into my face.
"FINE.', I spat. "But if this is some type of elaborate prank made for one of those stupid reality shows..." I paused mid-sentence and stared.
"WHAT THE HECK!', I yelled. The 'elves' (as they call themselves) winced and covered their ears. Pfft, whatever. Good act. I yanked at the pointed tips.
"THEY'RE NOT COMING OFF!"
"Of course not. They are a part of you."
"NO! THEY ARE NOT! They've— they've been superglued on or something."
The leader of our little group simply sighed.
"I can assure you, milady, that they are real. You can pull at them all you want, but unless you cut them off they are there for good."
"Don't give her any ideas.', Cassie muttered.
I glared at her.
"How did I not notice this? How did you not notice this?', I asked.
"Calm down, Aubrey. It's not hard to miss. I mean, you only just pulled your hair up!"
"How are you not freaking out right now? It's scientifically impossible for a human's molecular structure to completely and naturally transform in a few hours! This is a dream. This is a dream. This is a—"
"Aubrey, breathe! It's not the end of the world!"
"For me it could be! If people find out I'm going to be taken to Area 51 or something! I'll be the experimental guinea pig of curious professors and scientists! I'm going to die!', I wailed as I began to hyperventilate.
Cassie rolled her eyes.
"Snap out of it! You're being melodramatic."
"How are you still calm?', I hysterically demanded.
"Is something wrong?"
"Oh no, nothing's wrong, it's just that my body randomly decided to mutate into some pointy-eared organism that I didn't even know existed, and you expect me to be okay with it and go on with life like everything's hunky dory? OF COURSE SOMETHING IS WRONG! EVERYTHING IS WRONG!', I snapped at the dark haired being.
"And yet you wonder why no elleth like you.', came the humorous voice to the left. "You're patrol is late for dinner again, brother. Be glad that I'm the one who found you. And not... you know."
A man identical to the one smirking before me strode from the bushes.
"Yes, well we were delayed.', the one addressed replied as he glanced meaningfully in my direction.
"Good grief. Now there's two of them!', I scowled.
"Quite the charmer, aren't you?', the newcomer said dryly. "I am Elrohir. And who, brother, might these two lovely young ladies be?"
"Kidnapped teenagers from Georgia.', I offered. "This is Cassie and I am Aubrey."
"Ha! How desperate are you, Elladan? I know the females of Rivendell think you look like an orc, but you do not have to act like one!"
"You just insulted yourself.', I snickered, parroting the elf I now knew to be Elladan.
"How so?"
"I am guessing you are twins?"
They nodded as the group came to a complete standstill.
"Well then, as you are identical, if you insult Elladan's looks you insult your own."
Cassie giggled as Elladan's twin opened his mouth and then shut it again before rubbing his chin and gazing at me thoughtfully.
"Can we keep them?', he finally quipped.
"I would rather keep a warg than that spawn of Morgoth.', Elladan tersely replied.
"Um... Hello? Still here you know." I waved my hand in front of his face.
"Yes, unfortunately. But come. The sooner we get this cleared up the sooner I can be rid of your company. We are still many miles away from Imladris."
"Trust me, the feeling mutual. But why did you say Rivendell earlier and Imladris now?"
"I was speaking in the common tongue earlier."
"What are you speaking now?"
"Sindarin, seeing as you and your companion also speak it."
"Okay, let me get this straight: I'm speaking in a different language?"
"Yes.', the twins said in unison.
"And this common tongue you spoke earlier is Westron?"
They nodded.
"Not possible. You have to learn different languages– the left hemisphere of your brain can't just randomly switch to a different dialect without taking the time to understand and store it away in your memory. I'm American— I speak English, not some fictional language."
"Is she always like this?" Elladan turned to Cassie.
"Nope. She tends to nerd out when she's nervous or scared." Seeing there puzzled expressions she quickly clarified what she meant. "She starts spouting off odd scientific facts and hypotheses when she's frightened. It's a weird quirk she has."
"Any other 'weird quirks' we shall need to know of?"
"Nope!', I quickly interrupted before Cassie told them anything else. "But what I want to know is where the heck are we?!"
"You are fifteen miles north of Imladris and one half mile away from our encampment. Speaking of which, I would really like to get there before dark.', Elladan said impatiently.
"But it's morning.', I argued.
"It is evening."
"Morning."
"Evening."
"Morning."
"Evening."
"Evening."
"Morning."
"HA! I win!', I shouted triumphantly as Elladan rolled his eyes.
"Enough of this childishness!"
The booming voice caused Cassie and I to jump and the twins to flinch.
"Would you care to explain why you are bickering with this strange elleth and her mortal companion while you are supposed to be patrolling?"
"He says mortal like it's an insult.', my best friend muttered, and I wholeheartedly agreed with her.
He was a tall 'elf' (who had also randomly appeared out of nowhere, don't ask me how!) with long golden hair and striking blue eyes.
"Oh brilliant. Let me guess? You're Glorfindel."
In case you haven't noticed, sarcasm is my defense against the unknown. And unfortunately for me, it normally gets me into trouble. Colossal trouble.
Several pairs of eyes swung in my direction.
"How did you—', one of the twins began.
"Duh. Everyone on the planet whose read 'Lord of the Rings' knows about Elrond's famous golden seneschal. And the golden flower embroidered on your costume clearly gives away who you are portraying.', I stated calmly like I was talking to a two-year old. He clearly did not like my condescending tone.
"I am not portraying anyone, nor does everyone know of me. But I do not believe you are in a position to be asking questions. What is your business in this valley?', he bristled.
What is up with this group's theatrics?
"I don't have any business here. I'm lost and I want to go back to Camp Quicksilver."
"And where would that be?"
"Heck, if I knew that I'd be hightailing it back there right now! If this is some type of joke..."
"Aubrey, stop being such a pain in the neck and let me do the talking.', Cassie stopped me from saying anything else. "Camp Quicksilver is a summer camp for teenagers in North Tennessee. Do you know how far we are from it?"
"No. I've never heard of this Ten-e-sea." He stumbled across the word.
Cassie grinned and I probably would have too if I hadn't felt a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. It felt like my heart and stomach were fighting over who got to stay on top.
"If we're not in Tennessee, where are we?"
"You are north of Imladris as Elladan said earlier."
"And what is this world called?', I asked in a low voice.
"An odd question. You are in Arda."
"Drat! Cassie, if he's telling the truth then..."
"We're Mary Sues!', we yelled at the same time as we exchanged horrified glances.
A/N: Honest to goodness Aubrey is even getting on my nerves. But don't worry! Her character will eventually even out once she gets over her... problem.