Cold Secrets

-M. Lauren

Chapter Six

Monday morning brought Autumn rain. The fields that made up the university courtyard had flooded with murky water. Most of the campus was a muddy mess, and Elsa's stark-black heels now layered with the consequence.

As the weekend came to a close, a surprising burst of anxiety followed. Elsa and Millie enjoyed the rest of their Saturday, and the day that followed. Honeymaren had been right in saying they should get out of the house. A beach day was exactly what Millie needed to calm her food-throwing self. They spent their free time held up on the floor of her living room together. Elsa dragged out Millie's bag of blocks, and pulled some old puzzles out of storage. The two shared snacks in front of the TV. They snuggled during an afternoon nap, and spent the evenings reading board books by the fireplace. Surprisingly, Elsa felt it was the best weekend she'd had in a long while. It was both relaxing and exciting to have the free time to spend with her niece.

However, with the weekend ending; Elsa was reminded of the Monday to come. Her assumptions about Honeymaren had been correct. She did want to be her friend, and more than that; she wanted to go on a date with her. Things would be different between them now, seeing as Elsa had turned her down. Yet, what was stranger than Honeymaren's indifference, was the response she gave Elsa in reply. She was unbothered by the rejection, and merely because Honeymaren had believed it was all set up as a rouse.

But it's wasn't , Elsa convinced herself.

Saying no to Honeymaren's was easier than agreeing to spend Saturday afternoon with her in the first place. Surely, Elsa assumed, that meant any relationship between them was definitely not meant to be...

Despite her certainty, though, a darker thought lingered.

If Elsa turning Honeymaren down a second time scared her off, their new friendship would be forced to end. There would be no more surprise coffees dates. Elsa would never learn who Ryder's father was, nor about the man she'd seen at the cafe on that one afternoon. All the questions she had would go unanswered. And worst of all, Elsa would lose her new friend before could even confidently call her that.

The uncomfortable feeling in the pit of her stomach was as tortuous as Elsa's wet shoes. Both were numb and distracting, however, only one could be easily fixed.

Elsa's kicked her heels off beneath her desk. She laxed back into her chair. Hidden away in her office, Elsa was avoiding the library at all costs. To her benefit, at least her small workspace had a nice view of the city square. Even if it was storming, it was nice to crack the window and listen to the rain. At that moment, part of Elsa wondered why she'd been going to the library after all. Her office was nice; remote in its location.

She would have never found this type of comfort back down in the study rooms...

A sudden knock at her office door pulled Elsa from her thoughts. The sound reminded her exactly why she'd been hiding in the library for all these months. It was outside of her student hours, however, the college students were always lurking. It was as if they wanted to catch her off guard, and make certain she wasn't prepared for their questions.

"Can I have an extension on tomorrow's paper?"

"I didn't complete this assignment because x, y, and z..."

Elsa had her pending-conversation planned before it had even begun. And so, with a sigh and a quick roll of her eyes, Elsa decidedly rose from her chair. Her hand went to the doorknob. She quickly pulled it open. Standing before her, though, the sight drove her eyes wide, and she felt herself begin to panic.

Elsa blinked, hoping to clear the shock. Her head tilted to the side.

With her mouth agape, she stammered. "You- you're here?" Elsa awkwardly questioned. "What are you doing at my office- in my office? What- what are you doing here?""

Laughing, Honeymaren stepped through the arch way. Elsa was caught spinning around to follow; her hand remaining fixed to the door. The first thing she noticed about Honeymaren was that her hair had been left down. For some reason she'd pulled her curls from its standard braid. Yet, the deep creases pressed into brown hair and the tie around her wrist, told tale that this appearance change was not made all that long ago.

"Relax, Snowflake. Looking up a directory is amature sleuthing skills. You should know this. You're on the school's website, afterall."

Elsa's mouth tipped to respond, but the words wouldn't come out. She lost to her senses completely. Was she blushing or angry? Why was she suddenly hot, and feeling as if she were coming undone?

"Take it easy, would you?" Honeymaren laughed with ease. "I'm not here to harrass you! I just came to bring you this..."

She reached into the side pocket of her bag, pulling out a coffee. She handed it out to Elsa who had frozen in place. Elsa willed herself to move, or say anything that came to mind. Nothing came out of her mouth. Though hesitantly, her hand had begun to reach out.

Elsa accepted the coffee and turned ridgid once more.

"I-I don't understand…" Her head tilted.

"Well, when you didn't come to the library, which, by the way, you always do on Monday afternoons; I figured you were up here hiding from me... and, would you look at that. Here you are! It looks as if I was right..."

Without an invitation, Honeymaren came to sit in the chair beside Elsa's desk. Crossing her legs, she leaned back into the cushion. Her eyes rose slowly, and she softly began to smile.

"Are you going to stand there looking panicked the whole time, or…" Honeymaren motioned to the other chair, but Elsa didn't move. "Is it really so hard for you to sit down and chat; enjoy your coffee, even?"

Shaking from her confusion, Elsa tentatively made her way across the office floor. Her eyes stayed on her hands which had clasped tight around her coffee. It wasn't that she was angered by Honeymaren's surprise visit. Infact, at that moment, she wasn't certain exactly what she was feeling... caught of guard, perhaps, but it was more than that...

"I wasn't hiding…" Elsa responded slowly.

She sat in her chair. Her legs buried beneath the desk. Rotating, she only slighting turned to Honeymaren, cautious to keep a fair distance between them.

Seeing this, she smirked. Honeymaren's eyes dragged from the base of the chair to the top of Elsa's bun. "You could have fooled me." She teased her.

Frowning, Elsa released a short breath. "Even if I was hiding from you, which I wasn't; I have good reason to- You put me on the spot! That wasn't very fair... and besides, I barely know you!"

"I think you know me better than most people around here, Snowflake."

Elsa raised her eyes and glared. "Please, don't call me that."

"What would you prefer I call you- Professor Aren, or is it Miss. Aren? I never know… what do the kids call you these days?" Honeymaren's lips pulled higher.

"Elsa is fine." She replied, shortly.

Honeymaren's feet kicked out in front of her. Toes touched the leg of Elsa's chair. She nudged her swiftly sideways, spinning Elsa so they were facing. Elsa had been forced out from beneath the comfort of her desk. The action both surprised her, and made Elsa mad. She was certain Honeymaren could see that in the evidently red color growing amongst her cheeks.

"Okay, so I asked you out on a date and you said no…" Honeymaren continued. "Is that really reason enough to be caught sulking in your office?"

Unable to fight it, a slight smile drew to lips. "Alright, no exaggerating now... I definitely wasn't sulking. Perhaps I'm a just a little... embarrassed, alright? It's not often I'm forced to turn people down..."

Honeymaren batted her off with a hand. "Come on, there will be none of that. Besides, I told you! I'm not going to ask you again until you're ready, and until that happens; we can just go back to the way things were before. Now, how does that sound to you? Pretty good, I hope."

Elsa's brows drew steadily higher before quickly lowering into a frown. "But don't you see how that might make me uncomfortable? I'm not entirely certain why you would want to continue asking me, especially considering I am fairly committed to my 'no'. In the end, you'd only be making this harder on yourself..."

She watched Elsa slide back beneath her desk. Her tan painted fingernails circled the brim of her cup before lifting it to her lips. She took a sip of her coffee, still carefully avoiding Honeymaren's gaze.

"You forget how long we have been doing this dance for, Elsa…" Honeymaren's brows tugged low. "I have been watching you for two long months now; just as you have been doing as well. I don't think it was disinterest that caused you to turn me down, though. I think it's something entirely different, you see?"

"Really now?" Elsa replied evenly, and with more amusement than anger in her tone.

"Yes…" Honeymaren sang slowly. "I believe it was fear that had you saying no to me. I think, for some reason, you stop yourself from getting too close. Even with your students; did you know, I have never seen you speaking with one for longer than it takes to answer a single question... You are so quick to push them and others, aside. You've built up this brick wall around you, Elsa. Sure, it's part of your charm, and part of what had me feeling intrigued in the first place... but now I am wondering... What will it take for you to release it? What will it take for you to start letting people in? Not everyone here is bad, Elsa, and I think you are starting to see that."

Never before had Elsa heard someone speak so plainly to her before. Yet, here Honeymaren sat with no reservations. There was no fear in the execution of her words. She said what she had without worrying she might be overstepping Elsa's boundaries, or perhaps upsetting her in some way. No, Honeymaren was free flowing with both her thoughts and lips, and that was something Elsa would never understand.

"I don't say this to be rude, of course." Honeymaren continued. "It's just something I had noticed. If you didn't know, I have noticed lots of things about you, Elsa, and most of them... I quite enjoy."

Throat suddenly dry, she cleared it. Heat spread across the fair skin of Elsa's cheeks. To be noticed was one thing, but to be watched and scrutinized was entirely another.

"Anyway…" Honeymaren stood. "I came here to bring you the coffee and this..." She reached into the pocket of her black work slacks and pulled out a slip of paper. Setting it on the corner of Elsa's desk, Honeymaren began backing toward the door.

"I think I have put you through enough humiliation for one day." She teased Elsa with a laugh. "I'll leave you alone now, and I'll talk to you again soon; but only when you are ready."

"T-thank you for the coffee..." Elsa fought quickly for words.

Honeymaren flashed her a wink as she slipped through the door. "Anytime, Snowflake. Anytime…"

Once she had gone, Elsa's head fell forward. She emitted a tiny groan.

Honeymaren had been right about one thing, though- this dance they were doing; it was tainted by fear.

"I'm home! I'm home! I'm home!"

Elsa heard her singing as the front door was thrown open. Shoes were kicked off. A jacket and perhaps a bag, dropped onto the floor. Feet then echoed across the kitchen, hurried in their approach.

It was Wednesday evening, and both Elsa and Millie were seated on the carpet in her living room. They were patiently awaiting Anna's return. Upon hearing her, Elsa had turned Millie between her legs. She faced her towards the doorway and watched Millie's face light up as Anna bolted into the room.

"My girls!" Anna beamed.

She fell forward onto her knees. Her arms wrapped tight around them, and her face buried into Elsa's hair.

"I missed you both so much!"

"We missed you, too." Elsa held Millie out to her. She smiled as Anna squeezed her daughter in a tight hold.

"Mommy's never going away ever again! I promise! Please don't hate me. This was absolute torture!" She pressed warm lips against Millie's head.

The excitement then faded, though. When Millie was released, she padded over to her toys. As she sat, her back was turned toward Anna, and her attention fixed to the blocks in front of her.

"Oh, I see how it is!" Anna crossed her arms. "I left you, and so now I am getting the silent treatment!"

Millie turned around. She looked up to her aunt, holding out a block. "This!" she shouted, and Millie handed it to her.

Elsa was more than happy to accept it. "Well, it does certainly appear that way…" She teased.

"Oh no! How long do you think she'll make me suffer for? She has to forgive me sometime soon, right?" Anna slid in beside her sister. Her head fell to Elsa's shoulder and she released a long sigh.

"I don't know, Anna…" Elsa hummed. "For long did you give mother the silent treatment after she took your cell phone away during your freshman year?"

Dropping her jaw, Anna faced her sister with a pout. "That was different!" she defended. "Mama was being unreasonable, and you wouldn't even take my side!"

"I knew better than to get involved when you two went at it…" Elsa laughed. Anna's head replaced against her shoulder.

"You always have been more like father in that way…" she mused. "Always quiet and insightful… like them, the two of us make quite a pair, you know?"

Elsa hummed softly. Her fingers combed softly through Anna's loose hair. Millie was content at that moment to ignore them both. With her toys scattered in front of her, she babbled to herself as she eagerly kicked blocks further across the floor.

"So, how did it go?" Anna asked. "What were you both up to while I was away?"

"Not much…" Elsa's hand fell. As she straightened, Anna turned to her. "We went to the beach over the weekend, but other than that; we've been hanging low,-eating snacks, reading books..."

"The beach?" Anna's eyes widened and her lips slightly curled. "What made you do that?"

Shrugging, Elsa's gaze drifted to the sidewall. "Oh, I don't know… I thought it might be a fun way to spend the day together. It was warm, and we had a little picnic."

"A picnic, huh? Well, that does sound fun!"

Hearing her mother's pitch change, Millie looked up from her toys. She rose unsteadily to her feet before coming to lean against Anna's arm.

"It appears as if Millie's resentment was very short lived." Elsa joked.

She watched Millie tug her hands into her mother's hair. Curiosity filled her tiny face as she leaned forward and kissed her.

"I'm sad I missed it…" Anna continued, a hint of deflection detected in her voice. "I love spending time with both my sister, and my baby..."

"We can take her to the beach together sometime?" Elsa suggested. "I think she'd liked it, and besides; Millie is still a little too young to remember the outings she took with her aunt while mom and dad were away."

Giggling, Anna shook her head. "Don't you worry about that. I will always remind Millie of all the special things that her aunt does for her!"

Elsa couldn't help but smile. Loving her niece was easy; as simple as it was to love Anna. Upon seeing her expression, Millie waddled over to her aunt. Her chubby hands grabbed at Elsa's cheeks, and she squeezed them with a grin.

"Millie loves her aunt..." Anna cooed. "Don't you, baby girl? Your Auntie Elsa makes it so easy to love her sometimes… her biggest flaw, though; she has to start letting more people in, so they can learn to love her, too."

Elsa's head snapped quickly to Anna. Her face tugged from Millie's hands, but the toddler didn't appear to mind.

"What makes you say that?" Elsa frowned. Her expression blended between fear and a look that screamed of confusion.

"I am always saying that!" Anna teased. She leaned her shoulder into Elsa's arm. "It's no secret that you're a little reserved, dear sister. But hey, I didn't mean anything by it! We still love you! We just want you to start letting more people in..."

Elsa's expression maintained as she turned to the floor. Her lip tucked under her teeth, and she felt Millie walking away.

"Would you mind if I went and changed quick?" she asked Anna, her attention only partially returned. "I was waiting for you to get back first. I'll only be a minute..."

"Of course…" Now Anna was frowning. "Hey wait, did I upset you or something? You know I didn't mean to... I'm always saying things wrong!"

Elsa stood, feigning a believable grin. "No, no. You didn't upset me, I promise... I want to get out of these work clothes and into something more comfortable. There's still dinner out on the stove if you're hungry?"

She crossed to her bedroom, shutting the door quickly behind her. With a deep breath, Elsa forcefully kicked off her shoes. Her hands dragged through her hair and she fought a groan.

Elsa was tired of being scrutinized by the people she cared about. She was fed up with their assumptions, and their unbridled prying. Couldn't they tell she was happy exactly where she was in life? She didn't need to get closer to anyone. She was perfectly content with the way things were.

But that wasn't entirely true... and Elsa somehow knew it. In fact, it was that thought which caused her to hide here in her room.

Since being confronted by Honeymaren two days ago, she'd thought of nothing but letting her in. She liked her new friend. She liked spending time with her, and though the thought of 'something more' terrified her; Elsa couldn't lie. Being something more with Honeymaren... the thought sort of thrilled her, too.

Over the span of the last two months, she'd enjoyed getting to know her new friend. It wasn't her that Elsa was afraid of- it was the fear for what Honeymaren would come to learn about Elsa, herself.

It was easy to like someone when you didn't know them. It was simple to see yourself together when you didn't know all of their flaws. However, both Anna and Honeymaren had been right in saying one thing- Elsa was reserved. She had closed herself off to the world, and she was tired of being ridiculed for it.

With a stomp, Elsa moved beside her bed. She unzipped the front pocket on her backpack and withdrew the note Honeymaren had given her two days before.

Sitting against her bed, Elsa decided to read it again,

"Here's my number for when you are ready... May it act as a reminder to start letting people in."

The note had her frown deepening. Both Honeymaren, and now her sister, were successful in getting under her skin. They had made it so Elsa was unable to ignore the ache they'd placed in her chest any longer.

And so, defeated, Elsa pulled her cell phone from her pants.

She blinked anxiously at the screen. Her fingers flexed around the phone case. Elsa willed herself to do what she knew she must, and ignore the threat of any consequence.

"It's Elsa." Her fingers started slowly. "Are you still available on Friday Night?"

Cheers,

-M.