Cold Secrets
-M. Lauren
Chapter Seven
Elsa felt her heart beating everywhere, except for in her chest. Even as she checked over her appearance for the tenth time that evening, there it was; aching against the lining in her throat. She knew anxiety was a liar. Without it, she would have been certain she looked better than she thought. Yet, her mind continued to lie to her, and so Elsa found herself changing her outfit once again.
She'd been through nearly every skirt in her closet. That included both the long, and the incredibly short ones Anna had forced her to buy. There were t-shirts, blouses, and dresses strewn around her room. Her make up scattered the vanity. Shoes lay unattended outside of storage, and the mess only added to Elsa's concerns.
Her problem? She'd never purchased clothes for a date before. In fact, the last time she dated someone, Elsa hadn't seen it coming. She missed the whole panicked and uncomfortable transitional period from dating, into togetherness.
But this was a date; a real one, and it was with Honeymaren...
What would she expect Elsa to wear? What would she wear herself? Elsa wanted to call Anna, but the thought only furthered her anxiety. Sharing Honeymaren's connection to Millie's daycare might upset Anna, or worse; she might be thrilled by the idea, and therefore even more upset when it came time for them to break up.
Elsa was forced to do it on her own. Standing in nothing but underwear, only her hair and makeup had been finished. She had to pick something to wear, and Elsa found herself looking at the floor again. Hidden beneath her bed was the tight black dress she'd kicked off three times prior.
She was reconsidering it again a fourth time as her phone dinged in reminder. Elsa hurried to her desk. She clicked on the screen and frowned.
It was Honeymaren. "Outside and waiting- should I come up?"
Elsa quickly scrambled to reply. "No." She sent, and paused. "I will be down in a minute..." Elsa reiterated.
With a huff, her fingers dragged through her hair. She was already messing this up. Her heart was racing, her mind filled with fog, and she still wasn't wearing any clothes.
Thinking quickly, Elsa decided on the black dress. She stepped into the fabric, not wasting any time, and pulled it over her head. She turned to the mirror in a final attempt to convince herself she looked okay. Sighing, Elsa shook her head. She grabbed her purse from the bed, believing she looked better suited for a funeral, than she did a first date.
When Elsa stepped out onto the sidewalk, she was greeted by the cool Autumn evening. The light breeze, however, did little to soothe her stress. Seeing the barren sidewalk had her feeling more anxious, and now, she considered, this had been a bad idea after all.
A horn honked from across the street. Elsa looked up and her eyes went wide. Honeymaren was waiting for her, leaning up against the driver's side of her car. She was smiling, but not enough to frighten her. The attempt was to appear relaxed, or perhaps it was to calm the nerves she knew Elsa would have.
Despite her trying, Elsa still scrambled down the steps to meet her. The awkwardness of the situation only had her feeling more out of place.
"Wow," Honeymaren gave a low whistle. "If I had known you owned that dress… I would have asked you out way sooner."
Blushing, Elsa slowed her approach. Her eyes held at the ground as she met Honeymaren in front of the car. Elsa couldn't bring herself to look up from her feet. The sight of brown heeled boots had her vision momentarily stunned. Elsa blinked, feeling her shoulders tense. Drawing up from the boots, Honeymaren wore tight blue jeans. Her flowing white shirt sat off her shoulders, and the exposed tan skin had Elsa's eyes freezing upon the woman's face.
She frowned. Elsa's head tilted sideways. "You cut your hair?"
"-just the bangs," Honeymaren shrugged. "Why, does it look bad?"
She was smirking, but Elsa still contemplated her words with care. "No, no, I- I think they really suit you."
"Thanks," she beamed. "-and as I said, I think that dress really suits you, too."
Elsa's eyes found Honeymaren's for the first time. "You really think so? I wasn't sure about it…"
"Trust me when I tell you, you look perfect."
Her attention slowly drifted down the tight black fabric. From there, it settled on Elsa's bare thighs and nude high heels. Honeymaren forced herself to take a step back.
"Come on," she said sharply. "Hop in and we can get going. I need to make a few stops before we get to our date."
She came to stand by the passenger door and held it open to her. Elsa followed, eyeing Honeymaren suspiciously.
"I'm assuming you won't tell me where we are going?" Her brows lowered nervously at the thought.
"Your assumption would be correct, Snowflake, but I can promise; you are safe with me."
Honeymaren pulled the door wider in invitation. With a deep breath, Elsa didn't give herself another moment to think about it. She slipped inside and Honeymaren closed the door behind her. When she returned to her own seat, she noticed Elsa checking the restraint on her belt.
Feeling the eyes on her, Elsa looked up. "Is this, um, your car?" She smiled without teeth.
A playful smirk drew to Honeymaren's lips. "It is now."
She put the car in drive and quickly pulled away from the cub. The engine vibrated beneath Elsa's feet. The sensation caused her eyes to widen, and her hand to grip the door.
"What kind of car is this?"
"This?" Honeymaren grinned. "This is a sixties Mercury Comet. Pretty sexy, dontcha think?"
Elsa smiled at the pitch change in the woman's voice. "Really? It's in such great shape."
"As she should be… after all the time and money that went into restoring her…" Honeymaren's hands tightened against the wheel, and she shook her head.
"You don't race it, then?"
Wide eyes briefly snapped to Elsa. "God, no! Never! I'd lose my mind if anything happened to this car."
Elsa felt her muscles release. She relaxed back into the seat and her legs kicked out in front of her. "It's really a pretty car. You did a good job."
"Thanks…" Honeymaren hummed softly. "-but it's really my little brother who deserves the praise."
There was something off-putting about her comment, but Elsa lost her opportunity to respond. They were stopping on the side of the road, not long after leaving Elsa's apartment. Honeymaren put the car in park. She stepped out onto the sidewalk before leaning back through the open window.
"Give me one minute. I won't be long." Her hand tapped against the door frame and she walked away.
Elsa watched her go. Only after Honeymaren disappeared inside the unmarked building, did Elsa pull down her sunshade. Quickly, she glanced over her appearance in the mirror. Her darker-than-usual makeup was still intact, but her skin was flushed. Subconsciously, she hoped Honeymaren would mistake her red tinge for blush.
Movement caught her eye when Honeymaren returned. Elsa hurried to close the mirror, but the smirk she caught as Honeymaren sat proved she had been caught.
"Here," she greeted, handing Elsa a brown paper bag.
Honeymaren slipped on her belt, watching carefully as Elsa fingered the bag's opening.
"No!" she scolded. Her hand crunched down over Elsa's. "No peeking…"
Taking the hint, she set the bag down at her feet. "Where did you go?" Elsa asked.
"Patience, Snowflake…" Honeymaren teased with a roll of her eyes. "It's called patience- find some."
"I really wish you'd stop calling me that…" Humming, Elsa turned her head toward the window and frowned.
"I'll tell you what. I will lose the nickname if… you can guess where we are going?"
Elsa scoffed. Her toes flexed inside her heels. "That hardly seems fair! You've told me next to nothing about this evening."
Shrugging, a grin pulled to Honeymaren's cheeks. "Snowflake it is, then."
Try as she might to fight it, Elsa smiled. A tiny giggle fought passed her lips.
"Well, laughing is a good sign. I'm off the hook now, aren't I?"
Rolling her eyes, Elsa's expression tightened into smirk. "I wouldn't be too certain of that..."
There was something easy, something calm about their conversations. The atmosphere in the car was unusually pleasant. Aside from her sister, Elsa had never experienced this sort of contentment with another person before. It made enjoying the drive to their date effortless, and that was something she had not anticipated.
"You know, I am happy you decided to come and everything... but I thought you should know; I lost money on a bet because of this date." Honeymaren's eyes stayed strict on the road as she spoke.
However, Elsa could see from her profile that she was teasing her. "With whom- and please don't say anyone's name from the university!"
"Relax…" Honeymaren soothed with a slight giggle. "We'll keep date one on the downlow. The bet was with my mother. She's not going to say anything to anyone, but I do owe her forty bucks now because you decided to go out with me... so she's feeling pretty thrilled with herself."
That surprised Elsa. Her brows lowered and her head tilted to the side. "You bet against me coming?"
Her skin felt suddenly hot. Red coloring tinged her cheeks and an ache of discomfort coursed through her chest. She couldn't help but wonder if Honeymaren asked her out because she believed Elsa never would have agreed in the first place.
"No… the bet was not 'if' you would come, but 'when'... I figured you'd spend this weekend alone sulking, and then text me back by Monday." Her eyes flashed to Elsa's. "I guess we can say, you surprised me, Miss. Aren."
Elsa laughed with ease. Her embarrassment settled immediately. "Well, with no intentions of insulting you- I think I surprised us both... It appears your mother has more faith in me than either of us do."
"Oh, don't let her fool you! Half of her wagger was put down on the promise that I'd ask you out again if you hadn't replied in two weeks. She is just happy to see me taking up an interest in something other than Ryder and old books."
Elsa shifted to see Honeymaren better. "That's not exactly a bad combo, you know?"
"I agree," She nodded. "But I'll admit, I've been a bit of a homebody lately. Ever since Ryder came in the picture I haven't gone on many social outings, and I think it's driving my mother insane!"
"So, you and Ryder live with your mom?" The corner of her lips turned upward. "Are you both close?"
Honeymaren scoffed, tapping her finger against the wheel. "You could say that… we definitely have our moments, but she means well. After I left Ryder's father and found out I was pregnant, she demanded I leave my apartment to live with her instead. It's okay, though. My mom has a little craftsmen style house in the suburbs, and Ryder and I have a little in-law unit to ourselves. It's nice, private, and it keeps mom off my back about all of Ryder's toys. Which is ridiculous because she's the one who buys them all!"
Elsa faced forward and her hands tucked into her lap. "You left Ryder's father before you found out you were pregnant?"
"Yup," Honeymaren responded plainly.
"Will you tell me about it?" Elsa asked, feeling her cheeks burning beneath a pink hue.
She was pulling the car over once again. This time, they were nearing the outskirts of the city. Honeymaren removed her seatbelt and turned to Elsa.
"Not tonight, Snowflake." She shook her head before standing. "Wait here. Last stop, I promise."
Her tone softly shifted as she walked away. Elsa watched her go, feeling perplexed. She caught sight of the long sigh as Honeymaren pushed her hair behind her ears. She disappeared down a dark alleyway. Elsa was caught between wanting to know more about her; and being simply curious as to what these many stops were all about?
Luckily, Elsa wasn't left to dwell for long. Honeymaren reappeared in a flash, and this time there was no mistaking what was in the bag she carried.
As soon as the door opened, the scent of olive oil and fresh bread permeated the tiny cabin. Elsa's mouth began to water. She accepted the bag as it was handed to her, and tried to hide her grin with a tiny sigh.
"Good, I was hoping there'd be food on this date." She blushed. "I'm honestly… starving."
"What's a date without food?" Honeymaren laughed as she sat. "And why are you starving? I gave you plenty of time after work to do whatever it was you needed to do."
Her cheeks darkened. "I guess it was the nerves…" Elsa answered truthfully, and she was grateful for Honeymaren's lack of questioning.
Instead, she pulled back out onto the road, the engine still roaring against their feet.
"It won't be long now..." Honeymaren promised. "You'll be able to eat soon."
Hearing of their short arrival time had Elsa's skin crawling. Taking a drive with Honeymaren was one thing, but being in a legitimate date situation… Elsa's throat turned dry. She didn't know date edicate. What were they supposed to talk about? She'd clearly messed up in that department a few times before, as is. If only she knew where they were going, she could mentally prepare herself for what was coming next.
Unfortunately, she didn't, and that had her thoughts traveling down a long and winding spiral.
"Alright…"
Elsa's eyes snapped to Honeymaren. She blinked.
"We're here, silly..." Her brown eyes curled in time with her lips. "Hop out, I'm going to need your help."
"My help?" Elsa mused. Her eyes turned away from her as she undid her belt.
They had stopped somewhere outside of the city limits, it appeared. They were in a nearly barren parking lot across the street from a row of old stone buildings. It was very New England, and reminded Elsa a little of where she grew up.
Honeymaren was busy replacing the food into her backpack. "Can you carry that other bag there for me? Just, promise you won't look inside…"
Smirking, Elsa nodded. "Of course."
She picked up the bag at her feet and stepped from the car. Honeymaren met at Elsa's side. She smiled softly.
"You ready?" She asked.
Elsa's nose scrunched. "It doesn't appear I have much of a choice…"
Honeymaren laughed, shaking her head. "I'll take what I can get."
She began by leading Elsa across the street. Seeing Honeymaren with her overstuffed backpack only had Elsa feeling more nervous. Whatever they were doing, she had obviously gone through a lot of trouble to prepare. Elsa honestly wasn't sure she was worth the effort.
They reached the edge of the sidewalk in the small downtown area. Elsa had barely taken in the tiny shops and dimly-lit restaurants before Honeymaren had them cutting between buildings. Darkness crept in as they descended down the alley. They were coming towards a series of larger venues when Honeymaren stopped short.
"Have you been here before?" She asked Elsa.
Elsa shook her head. "I don't think so. I haven't spent much time east of the city. I grew up on the other side of the state and only moved here to be closer to the school."
"Good," Honeymaren winked. "This will be fun, then."
She moved to the side, revealing the door Elsa hadn't realized was beside them. Honeymaren knocked. Her fist echoed across the thick metal surface. It looked like a lot like a service door, Elsa assumed. It was wide and dinged up, and not at all like the front entrance to any normal date location.
They were forced to wait until a young man in all black appeared in front of them.
"Maren…" The man greeted smoothly. "You're cutting it close, you know?"
She slapped a bill into his hand. "What do you care?"
He shrugged. "You're right. I don't."
Elsa saw the barest hint of a smile grace the man's lips before he turned from the door. He led them down a stark white hall, which sat entirely empty.
"Where are we?" Elsa whispered to Honeymaren.
"You mean she doesn't know?" The man interrupted before Honeymaren could reply. "Man, that's gunna be good."
His response only fueled Elsa's discomfort. Yet, she said nothing, following both him and Honeymaren down to a second doorway. His fingers worked into a keypad. The door clicked, and the man held it open to them.
"You know where you're going?" He asked.
"All the way up." Honeymaren slipped beneath his arm.
Behind pursed lips and grit teeth, Elsa tried to smile at him. She hurried after Honeymaren, sliding as close to the door frame as she could manage. Seeing her discomfort, the man chuckled.
"Alright, Maren. Well, you two have fun. Behave!" He scolded with more humor than sternness in his tone.
"Night, Blaine." Honeymaren grinned, and the door quickly closed behind them.
Looking up, Elsa watched a set of stairs spiral out of the ground and up over their heads. They appeared to go on for stories. Elsa grew more confused. Honeymaren, however, didn't wait for her to collect her thoughts. She started up the steps, forcing Elsa to follow.
"What's this all about?" Elsa nervously whispered. "Who was that guy?"
Honeymaren heard her footsteps coming up quickly behind her. Elsa came in at her side with a sharp frown. "That was Blaine. He works here."
"Yes, but where is here?" Her voice wavered with uncertainty, but Honeymaren was ignoring her once again.
They continued up the stairs, climbing higher and higher. At two stories, Elsa looked up and realized they still had more than half way to go.
"You didn't bring me here in the hopes of killing me and having somewhere to hide my body, did you?" She meant it as a joke, yet by its appearance; Elsa believed this was exactly the kind of place someone could get that done.
"What would I do that for? You're much too pretty to kill." She caught Elsa's eyes briefly before turning back to the walk.
When they finally reached the top, Elsa released a breath. Looking down, they'd hiked up around five stories. What building in this area could possibly have this many floors?
"I promise this will be worth it." Honeymaren opened a final door, leading Elsa into a dimly lit storage room.
She gasped. There were boxes stacked in every corner. It was chilly, and not all what Elsa expected. Honeymaren slid past her, crossing the dark room. Elsa's heart stayed in her throat as she slowly followed her.
However, her discomfort did not last long. Her heart was still aching, but for an entirely different reason. The room opened up into a wide, curved alcove of sorts. Large squares cut from the drywall and were hung with heavy metal stage lights. Then beneath them, the ground turned to grating. It was a catwalk, Elsa recognized instantly. She was hidden in the service platform above some sort of venue or theatre.
"It's an orchestra hall." Came Honeymaren's whisper, and from closer to her ear than Elsa expected.
As if on queue, the chorus of a dozen or more strings sang to life below them. The grate began to rattle. The tickle in her feet had her looking down. When her eyes returned, though, Honeymaren's face had leaned in closer towards her own. Elsa stifled in a breath and her eyes went wide.
"Come on," Honeymaren smirked. "You haven't seen the best part yet."
The orchestra was loud, yet not so much that they couldn't hear each other. Elsa assumed the acoustics were quite different down in the audience, but she didn't mind. There was something thrilling about being hidden away from the other people. She felt kind of empowered in a sense. Yet, she wouldn't say that aloud to Honeymaren. She might think she was crazy.
The narrow alcove led them around the turn of the theatre and toward a center row of suspended lights. They hung over a rectangular outlook, and Elsa moved to peer over the edge. Below her were the front row seats. Doll-sized humans in her eyes, were seated in full-back red chairs. They were dressed in their best going-out clothes, with their full-attention held at the stage. And the stage- it was directly across from where Elsa stood watching. Dozens of musicians sat before their instruments, and Elsa could see every single one of them.
Pulling from her distraction, Elsa turned to find Honeymaren. Her brows lowered a fraction when she realized her date was gone.
"Up here, Snowflake."
Elsa's eyes lifted. Her lips flattened, tugging into a smirk. Above the catwalk, Honeymaren had scaled a short ladder and climbed into a tiny loft. Her legs were dangling above the grating as she leaned over the safety rail. Her brown curls caught in the reflection of the blue lights, and Elsa couldn't help but stare.
"The view's better up here." She nodded her head, and motioned for Elsa to join.
Shaking from the daze, she started for the ladder. With the brown bag in one hand, Elsa fumbled between bars. She crawled up into the loft and held her skirt in place against her thighs. As she sat beside Honeymaren, she smoothed back down the fabric. Turning to her, Elsa was not at all surprised, for once, to discover Honeymaren was watching her.
"Glad you could join me." Her brow arched.
She handed Elsa a bottle of water, which she gratefully accepted.
"This is amazing." Elsa whispered while looking down.
Honeymaren had been right- the view of the stage was better from the loft.
"How did you find out about this?"
When Elsa's attention returned, Honeymaren was leaned over and opening the takeout containers between them.
"That kid Blaine, the one that let us in." She dropped her legs back over the side of the loft. "His parents own this place."
"How did you meet him... Blaine?"
Something dark flickered in Honeymaren's eyes. It caused her to drop her gaze toward the performance as she took a sip from her bottle. "HIgh school," She said simply, but Elsa had an inkling that wasn't the whole truth.
Not wanting to spoil things further, Elsa decidedly dropped it. "So... what's for dinner, then?"
Honeymaren laughed. Her light returned. "Ah yes, she's starving! How could I forget?" She mocked Elsa playfully before handing her a plate. "You've got bruschetta, fresh bread, cheeses, meats, and fruit. And over here, salad; because I figured, why not."
"Appetizer nights are my favorite." Elsa bit her lip, wondering why sitting here with Honeymaren had her suddenly feeling warm. "You must have read my mind..."
Honeymaren smiled, watching Elsa go for the bruschetta and forgoing the plate entirely. "Then you'll be happy to know, we are a perfect match. I'm a tapas girl, myself. Small plates, lots of things to try, what could be better?"
"I have to agree. I love tapas, too. Spanish food is up there on my list of favorites."
"I'll have to add that to my list of 'reasons I'm interested in you', then."
Unable to keep her blush from taking over, Elsa hid behind an open hand as she chewed. Her eyes wavered back to the stage, and she wondered why it was so hard to talk to Honeymaren in this way? She'd never been great at flirting. Elsa couldn't help but feel anxious while being flirted with, yet with Honeymaren; she wanted to dish it back. It was difficult to understand why, but Elsa wanted to feel she belonged here. She wanted the confidence other people, like Honeymaren, had while they were on a first date.
Slowly, she swallowed, allowing time for her heart rate to calm. When it did, Elsa grit her teeth. She was ready to find that confidence.
"Why are you interested?" She asked, fighting hard to hold her stare.
"In you?"
Elsa nodded. "It's just, I'm not exactly what people would call 'approachable'..."
Honeymaren set down her plate and moved back onto her hands. "You're attractive," She shrugged.
Elsa felt her jaw tip. "You only asked me here tonight because you find me attractive?"
In an instant, Elsa suddenly felt angry. Feeling she must have misjudged Honeymaren completely, her brow lowered into a deep frown.
"No... you asked my why I was interested; not why I brought you here. That would have been a different answer entirely." She snatched a piece of cheese between her fingers and plopped it into her mouth.
"Okay, then why did you bring me here?" Elsa's tone was short.
"Well..." She stifled a breath. "-because you save red Skittles for last because they're your favorite, and because you do this funny thing where you check the study room twice before leaving. You're smart, a little soft-spoken, fun to talk to, and I guess... I don't know... I find you... interesting."
She shrugged again, and Honeymaren returned to her food.
Elsa's eyes stayed on her for a brief moment longer. "Thank you, Honeymaren... for bringing me here."
Both women then turned their attention back to the show.
Time was moving slowly as they sat up in the loft. Elsa wasn't certain if it was her nerves or the music that caused it. Despite the calming effect the orchestra should have had on her, Elsa remained on edge. Honeymaren kept stealing glances at her. She was fighting her own eyes not to do the same. It was difficult being in her mid-twenties with very little dating experience. Elsa felt certain she was doing everything wrong, yet Honeymaren made her feel as if she were doing things right.
"Still hungry?" Honeymaren asked when she saw Elsa put her plate down.
Elsa shook her head. "No, not in the slightest."
"Good, I did my job, then." Honeymaren slid the containers back into her bag.
When she returned, she eyed the spot where she had previously sat. She and Elsa had the barrier separating their legs, and the food had maintained a cautious distance between them. Well, one of those things was no longer an obstacle.
Feeling cheeky, she came to sit closer to Elsa this time. Honeymaren straddled the bar and relaxed her arms on either side of the gate. With her head resting against the top rail, she slowly turned to Elsa. Honeymaren wasn't touching her, yet with their legs as close as they were; she could feel the heat radiating off her bare thigh. She might not have been touching Elsa, but Honeymaren knew she wanted to.
"So... it's my turn to ask you a question now." Honeymaren sang slowly. Her eyes moved in against Elsa's. "Why did you change your mind about coming out with me tonight?"
Biting her lip, Elsa shrugged. "That's a complicated answer."
"Try it on me anyway." Honeymaren pulled her attention back to the stage, giving her space.
"It's hard... only because I don't want to come off as insulting." She could see Honeymaren rolling her eyes in response. "Okay, fine! Well, for starters, I said yes because what you said really got under my skin."
Honeymaren snorted. "Right, but you're not here because you wanted to be, though?"
"I didn't say that..." Elsa hummed. "Yes I wanted to, I just- I have difficulties opening up to people. I don't go out on dates, as I'm sure you've noticed. I'm not certain what I'm supposed to wear, or do, or talk about-"
"I told you, that dress looks fantastic on you."
Though she hadn't turned back to her yet, Elsa could see Honeymaren smirking. "I- I know, and thank you for that." Her hand scratched through her hair and she sighed. "-but that doesn't fix the rest of it. This isn't something I'm used to. I'm not very good at it, I know... I guess I agreed because I was worried I'd miss out on something nice while I was stuck inside being me."
Honeymaren nodded slowly. Tentatively, her hand reached out a came to rest over Elsa's bare knee. "I understand," Honeymaren felt her shiver beneath her touch. "-and you need to stop being so hard on yourself! You're doing fine, Elsa. It's just a date. You know, you can relax around me..."
The two women shared a brief smile before the sound of applause drove them apart.
"It's over?" Elsa asked. Her brows pulled up to her hairline.
Honeymaren shook her head. "Intermission probably, let me check."
Leaning back, she rolled onto her side. She stretched forward, reaching for her backpack. Elsa's eyes traveled to the exposed skin of Honeymaren's backside where her shirt had ridden up. Embarrassed by the idea of being caught looking, Elsa quickly looked away.
When Honeymaren returned, she had her cellphone in hand. She was frowning at the screen. Her lips parted slightly and her teeth grit, hard.
"Intermission..." She mechanically spoke before slipping through the bars. "Could you give me a second, please?"
Elsa hadn't the chance to respond before Honeymaren walked away. She could tell there was a slight stomp to her walk. Something had evidently upset her when she looked at her phone. Honeymaren had the speaker to her ear before she rounded the corner, and Elsa couldn't help but stare after her.
When she disappeared, Elsa tried to distract herself from her thoughts with mindless people watching. The few musicians she could see on stage were busy shuffling around their stands. Elsa wondered if they felt like she did tonight; on display and uncomfortable? Or perhaps it was so routine to them by now that they didn't notice the audience watching them. If Elsa went on a few more dates, maybe this would become routine for her as well. With Honeymaren in the picture, she didn't necessarily hate the idea anymore.
Elsa was thinking just that when Honeymaren started down the catwalk minutes later. It was immediately obvious that something was wrong. She refused to look at Elsa as she approached. In fact, she didn't lift her head from the grates until she was standing right in front of her. Even still, her hands were clasped, and she wasn't saying anything. Honeymaren just looked at her, fighting an emotional battle between, what appeared... angered and stressed.
"is everything alright?" Elsa's head tilted. Her bottom lip worried between teeth.
Honeymaren's eye contact wavered as her fingers pulled through her hair. "This is...hard for me to say..." She released a small groan. "We have to go- well, you don't. I do, but seeing as I drove you here, yeah... we have to go."
Upon hearing her words, the sting of disappointment stung at Elsa's chest, and she found her breathing momentarily stalled. "It's alright. Is there, um, anything I can do to help you?"
Shaking her head, Honeymaren's frown darkened. "No, just pull that bag down for me, would you?"
Elsa did as she asked, handing it to her between the bars. "And this?"
She handed the Honeymaren the mystery bag that had sat patiently between them.
"Thanks," She mumbled. Honeymaren stuffed the bag into her backpack.
Elsa quickly grabbed the empty bottles and turned onto her side. Sliding down the ladder, she landed next to Honeymaren who still refused to look at her. Instead, she wordlessly lead Elsa from the venue and back down to the car.
Nothing but silence crossed between them on the drive back to Elsa's apartment. It was nerve wracking; anxiety provoking. Honeymaren's hands remained fixed on the wheel the entire time. Her knuckles turned white, and her eyes held low. Elsa hated to think it, but she was a little concerned for her own safety.
Stopping before the arched entry to the complex, Elsa slowly took off the belt. Her hand went to the door, but then she pulled it away.
She turned to Honeymaren with a slight frown. "Before I go, would you answer something for me?"
When Honeymaren met her gaze, Elsa saw anger there; but also deep sadness.
With her teeth grit, she nodded. "Sure,"
Reeling in a deep breath, Elsa leaned forward over her knees; her hands pressed flat to her thighs. "It feels... silly to ask, or perhaps... I feel like I am prying, but... that wasn't a bailout phone call, was it? I haven't done anything to upset you maybe, or make you change your mind?"
Honeymaren allowed her head to fall forward into her hands. "God, no!" She promised. Her eyes returned. "I swear, that isn't even close to what's going on here..."
"Okay." Elsa accepted. Her hand returned to the door.
"Wait!' Honeymaren shouted, causing Elsa to freeze. "-just... wait a minute."
She turned back to her, replacing her hand against her legs.
"Elsa, you didn't do anything wrong, okay? I promise, I was having fun with you. It's just... it's Ryder." She watched Elsa's eyes widen with concern. "I have to go pick him up from his father's. You see, things aren't great between him and I. It causes a lot of stress in my social life... and sometimes I have a lot going on."
"It's alright." Elsa assured her. She tried to force a smile. "You don't have to explain. I understand."
That should have made Honeymaren feel better, but she could see right through her date's mirage. Her expression only continued to darken, and the next time their eyes met; the hollowness there nearly stole Elsa's breath away.
"This is hard because I really don't want to do what I know has to be done right now." Her attention turned to her hands. She released a long sigh. "I really don't think I can do this..."
Frowning, Elsa shifted slightly in her seat. "Talk?" She questioned.
Slowly, Honeymaren shook her head. "No, I meant, date..." She refused to see Elsa's reaction. She knew it would only make things harder. "-not you specifically, but anyone. I should have known better... that something like this could have happened. I knew it was too soon, but I jumped in anyway. You made me want to jump in, but I was wrong to."
Elsa shrugged. Her eyes turned to the floor. "No, I, I think I get it..."
"No, you don't." Honeymaren scoffed. "You're upset, and you have every right to be. I saw your face when I told you we needed to leave. I felt terrible, but that's exactly why I have to do this. I'm only going to end up hurting you again. So, I have to call it off... I really, really, don't like the feeling of letting you down..." When Elsa didn't respond, Honeymaren's hand returned to the wheel. "-but I mean, hey, look at the bright side, at least I won't be harassing you in the library-"
Elsa wasn't certain if Honeymaren said anything else. She wasn't sure if she nodded in reply, or how long she sat there before she left the car. Elsa couldn't remember. The thick numbing sensation that took over her mind was all she could focus on as she walked back to her apartment.
She should have been happy, she considered. Things could go back to normal, yet, Elsa wasn't certain she was looking for normal anymore.
Cheers,
-M.