A/N: I hope everyone of you is alright. This is a little thing which has been spooking around in my head for a while after I read a prompt. It's very different from the promt which was previously given so I won't put it here.
Huge thanks to my incredible beta Alex. She is amazing and takes so much time to beta my fics.
I really hope you enjoy it and I would love to hear what you think.
Stay safe & healthy
Reminiscit
According to the doctors and nurses, his name is Jack O'Neill. Mr. O'Neill, or sometimes Colonel is what they call him. The name feels unfamiliar on his tongue but he kind of got used to it, the way he got used to everything around himself here. When he starts to think, his head starts hurting and it's not rocket science to figure out headaches are a pain in the ass. So, Jack O'Neill usually avoids thinking about things too hard.
Yeah, according to them, he is - used to be - an Air Force Colonel. Shooting guns, flying planes, crawling around in the dirt and all that stuff. Whenever he looks outside the window and sees the planes passing by, it feels weird to think he can do this, and do it well enough to be a Colonel. He wouldn't even know how to turn the engines on, honestly, let alone bring the plane up in the air. Jack declares everyone who tells him so 'nuts'. And there are a lot of nuts people around the Academy Hospital here in Colorado Springs.
Memory is a weird thing. He knows how to do the basic things, like get dressed, eat, speak. He even knows he prefers cake over donuts. Jack also knows he hates being poked and prodded by needles, especially the big ones the tiny doctor always tortures him with. There is also the fact he knows the others here know more than they let on, but whenever he starts to think, three things happen. He can see lots of sand, gets a headache and… the name Charlie comes to mind. Whoever that is. When he asked the tiny doctor, he was met with shock and hasty excuses. The only person who is willing to tell him things about himself is a guy named Daniel who comes by from time to time. Says he is a History teacher somewhere from a nearby university, and his friend. How exactly they met Daniel didn't tell him, just that they have a lot of, well… history.
If Jack were to believe Daniel, he was involved in an accident in which he lost his memories. Sounds… logical, as he cannot remember a thing that happened until he woke up in the hospital. Brain swelling or something. It's why they keep testing his blood and shoving him into annoying noisy tubes in which he has to lie completely still. Then there was the matter of many broken bones which he had to recover from and relearn how to use.
For his part, a guy named Murray comes in a couple of days a week. Jack has started calling him "Big Guy" while Murray refers to him simply as "O'Neill". While Jack really has started to like Murray - mostly for his quiet nature, he loathes him when it comes to his physical health exercises. One day, Jack asked for what the hell Murray was training him for, and the big guy simply smiled and said: "You're a warrior." This was all Jack needed to keep him going.
Whenever he asks when he can leave or go home - wherever that is - he is met with a "Sorry, you're not yet ready to be released, Colonel." Perhaps they are right. He does get blackouts from time to time, forgets faces quite easily, especially the nurses. Whenever it happens, the people around him need to start back from zero. Daniel has told him so, just because no one else would. Daniel, good old Daniel. Talks for two, most of the time so fast Jack cannot keep up. His heads starts spinning and he gets headaches then. From all the people he remembers coming to visit him, he's kicked out Daniel the most.
He dreams a lot, mostly of trees and sand and the stars, but it's just random images which are always too blurry to decipher anything meaningful. Although Daniel says it's his subconscious trying to help him remember, he just knows it must be images from the TV in his room which is on most of the day. The hospital is boring and gets worse every day. He's been here for almost six months now and while the blackouts are getting less and less - he remembers every day for the past four weeks - he can see why they won't release him. Where would they let him go anyway? To a house he doesn't know, all by himself? Wait - does he own a house? Argh! He's slowly but surely going nuts here. The same four walls of his private room, the same doctors, the same faces over and over and over…
The tiny doctor, Dr. Fraiser, is some kind of Napoleonic power monger. She scares him and no matter what people tell him who he is - was - he's got a feeling he never used to be the kind of person to be afraid of many things.
Then there is the other doctor, Dr. Carter. Now she is a sight for sore eyes: Tall, blonde, incredibly… hot. Unfortunately married, if he is to believe the ring on her finger, to some guy he's forgotten the name of. Nonetheless, her almost daily visits are the highlight of his day. Dr. Carter is nice. She talks to him, asks him questions, sometimes even brings him a fishing magazine. Why, he doesn't know, but the pictures of lakes are calming and who knows, perhaps when he gets out of here he'll buy a fishing rod and be ready to live a life in the wilderness. On very, very few occasions, he even flirts with her. A blushing Dr. Carter is one of his favorite things he remembers so far. Yes, Jack really likes when she comes to visit, despite the sadness which clouds her eyes every time she looks at him. Perhaps it's pity for him, perhaps it's something personal. Dr. Carter never really smiles, at least it never reaches her eyes. She would never tell him why though, because despite coming every day, Dr. Carter keeps her private life very, very private. A couple of days ago Jack managed to make her laugh and oh Johnny, it's a sound he will never forget as long as he breathes. When - if - he leaves one day, he is definitely going to miss her.
Xxxxx
Sam is late, later than usual. Today had been more than a little hectic at the base and there were too many things she needed to take care of at home. Thanks to Daniel and Teal'c she's been able to come to the hospital today though after all. Despite being tired and worn out, Sam signs in with her ID at the entrance and takes the elevator up to the seventh floor. It's been the same way for over six months now and she would find the room with her eyes closed.
Janet is waiting for her at the entrance of the ward. The friends hug each other tightly before Janet hands Sam a white coat and a stethoscope to put around her neck.
"It's nice of you to come. He's not been too well today," Janet explains. "Nothing bad, just really bad headaches."
Dear God, please not again.
"Do you think he's going to have another blackout? Be honest, Janet. Please." The brunette looks at her desperate friend for a moment before she reaches out to squeeze her hand.
"I really hope it won't. He's been doing so well these past few weeks. But you know, after what happened, there's no guarantee."
Now she's this close to crying because she cannot take this anymore. Cannot keep up the façade any longer. They don't get to exchange much more because Janet's pager goes off and she apologizes, before quickly vanishing down the corridor.
Sam watches her leave, desperately trying to pull herself together, before she takes a deep breath and walks up to room 722.
It's nearly 10 pm. She shouldn't have come this late, not when he might be sleeping already, not when he's been feeling bad all day. They should have called her. That's the deal, they were supposed to keep her informed about every change of his mental and physical state. What if he really is close to another blackout? What if everything he's worked on will be forgotten once more? What if… what if he forgets her again? She cannot take this much longer.
Sam carefully knocks on his door but hesitates to enter when he doesn't tell her to come in. If Janet has given him something for the headache, perhaps he really is asleep. She is just going to poke her head in and… Oh.
The room is completely dark. There is only the silhouette of Jack who is sitting on the side of his hospital bed, staring out the window, back turned toward her. For a second, she thinks to leave him be, to close the door and go, but the quiet "Come in." makes her change her mind.
Sam slowly closes the door behind her and steps toward the bed. Jack isn't looking at her, not really and despite blurry silhouettes from the dimmed moon and starlight outside she cannot see much. When he reaches for her hand, he manages to grasp her arm and motions for her to sit down next to him. This is how they sit, in the silence, staring outside.
"Fascinating, isn't it?" Jack says.
"Hm?"
"The stars. So many of them out there and so few we can see with our own eyes."
"Yes, they are. Fascinating I mean," Sam answers back. She's not been this close to him in a long time and her heart aches, aches so hard she cannot hold back. A tear slips down from the corner of her eye, hidden through the darkness in the room.
"I sometimes wonder if there's more out there. More… answers. More than this hospital."
Sam closes her eyes. "I'm sure there is much more out there than we could ever imagine, Colonel."
"Hmmh," Jack muses. "You see, Dr. Carter, I've realized something today."
"You have?" Her heart starts beating faster.
"Yup. You. You weren't entirely honest with me, am I right?" She can just feel his eyes on her now.
"I don't know what you're referring to, Sir. I'm just here to… check up on you."
"And I believe that," Jack answers. He's calm. Too calm for Sam's taste. "But you're not who you say you are. Am I right?"
Sam looks at him now and despite the darkness, she can make out his eyes. Confusion licks on the tips of her mind and her heart is starting to beat erratically.
"I…"
"You're not just Dr. Carter. You're… Sam, you're my wife."
Jack turns the bedside lamp on so he can see her, see her really, for the first time. Sam stares at him for just a moment longer before her body starts shaking and a desperate sob escapes her throat. He pulls her against him, holds her so tight, he never wants to let go of her ever again. His love, his light, his everything. How could he ever forget her?! He'd never be able to forgive himself.
Sam doesn't let go of him, clings to him to tight it almost hurts. The pain is good though, because the pain means she is not dreaming as she is sobbing against his shoulder. He remembers. Jack remembers who she is. For the first time in over six months he called her Sam, called her his wife.
"I'm so sorry, Sam. I'm so sorry," Jack whispers as he presses kisses against the side of her head. He cannot hold back his own tears any longer. "I'm so sorry it took me so long."
"I missed you so much," she cries. "I can't believe… I… I…"
He holds her, just holds her tight until she's sure she's not dreaming. Then she kisses him like she's never kissed him before. With so much love, relief and desperation at the same time. A week ago, he's dreamed of kissing Dr. Carter and now she's his wife. He can kiss her as much as he wants whenever he wants and good God, kissing Sam is the best thing in the world, hell, the whole universe!
"Sam, I need to know… what about the…?"
"They're okay, Jack. They miss you like crazy and they don't understand what's happening and why they can't see you, but they talk about you every day. And there are so many pictures they have drawn for you and Daniel has filmed every birthday and barbecue you missed and… they just want to be able to hug their daddy again."
"I missed so much…"
Sam reaches up to touch his face and wipe away the tears streaming from his eyes.
"No, Jack. You're back. You remember. We have you back, and that's the most important thing. I love you." She kisses him once again and leans against his shoulder, the weight she carried for all these months suddenly lifted off her shoulders.
"You know," Jack muses, "When I couldn't remember I was quite jealous."
"Of what?"
"The lucky son of a bitch who got to put a ring on your finger."
Sam laughs and sends him the brightest smile he's ever seen. His memories are back… and so is the smile on Dr. Samantha Carter-O'Neill's face.