Cold Secrets

-M. Lauren

Chapter Thirteen

The car had barely made it into park before Honeymaren stripped her seatbelt. She impatiently tapped her foot while watching Elsa slowly do the same. When she was nearly free from the restraint, Honeymaren snuck a hand to the back of her neck. Fingers threaded through blonde hairs. She tugged Elsa forward and captured her mouth at once; her single arm still inconveniently trapped behind her.

She felt Elsa grin against her lips. It was the most exhilarating sensation Honeymaren had ever experienced before.

"Been waiting for that long?" Elsa's words teased against soft skin. Her hand had somehow freed itself and now splayed against Honeymaren's cheek.

With a breath, she pulled back. "As flattered as I am you came to visit me at the library all week… don't." she groaned. "I can't do this there."

Before Elsa could respond, she stole her lips once more.

"Mama!" Ryder bellowed.

A sigh escaped her chest, and Honeymaren released her. She brought their foreheads together. "Both those glasses and this child will be the death of me."

Elsa giggled. "Well, I can help with one of those." smirking, she slipped the glasses into her purse.

Honeymaren rolled her eyes. She reeled in a deep breath and stood from the car. Dutifully returning to the back seat, she drew Ryder into her arms. Together, they left the garage and Honeymaren's hand slipped into Elsa's. She led their way down to the apartment, not missing the blue eyes transfixed to the side of her face.

Unlike Elsa's first visit, Ryder did not demand to be held. He had no issues being placed on his feet and left to his own devices. He teetered across the hall. As Elsa kicked off her shoes, she watched after him. Ryder came to a stop with his head tilted, as if silently looking for them to follow.

Honeymaren nodded to her. Taking the lead, Elsa started down the hall and watched Ryder giddily run from sight. When they rounded the corner, he had all but disappeared.

"This way…" Honeymaren came up behind her.

A hand touched her waist, and Elsa shivered at the contact. She felt the heat trapped between their bodies. Honeymaren guided her across the living room and through a set of double doors.

The space in front of her opened up into Honeymaren's bedroom. It was clean, white; much like the rest of the apartment. There were white sheets on the bed. The furniture was made from reclaimed wood, but most importantly; there were books- an entire wall filled with them.

"Oh wow!" Elsa tried to follow her eyes.

Honeymaren stopped her by nudging Elsa forward. "There's time for that later, nerd."

Rolling her eyes, she giggled. Once again Elsa allowed herself to be led from one room and up a short set of stairs.

Ryder was seated on the carpet in front of them. He had surrounded himself with toys and books. As Elsa moved toward him she suddenly gasped. Above Ryder's bed was a hand-painted mural of an enchanted forest.

"Did you do this?" she spun quickly.

Honeymaren shrugged and turned to hide her blush. "I might have…"

"You can paint! Why didn't I know that about you?" Elsa grinned. "It's really impressive!"

"No more compliments, Snowflake. My ego can't take it."

Ignoring her, Elsa's hand trailed along the mural before she came to sit beside Ryder. "I guess I'll just have to slip my glasses back on and hang out down here with your son, then…"

She was baiting Honeymaren. Elsa knew it, and for some reason she wasn't afraid. It was different with her. Honeymaren made her feel comfortable, confident, and most importantly; for once in her life, Elsa felt in control.

Her thoughts pulled away from Honeymaren when Ryder sat down in her lap. He had a book between his hands. He handed it to her. Elsa happily accepted and flipped to the first page.

"As much as I'd love to stay and watch this adorable display in front of me… I have to go start his dinner." She leaned down and kissed Elsa over the top of Ryder's head. "I've ordered food for us for later."

"Sounds nice…" Elsa smiled, watching her go. She waited until Honeymaren disappeared down the stairs before starting Ryder's book.

Minutes later, and no sooner than Elsa had finished reading to him; Ryder jumped up from her lap. On unsteady legs, he teetered across his room. He dropped to his belly and giggled as he slid down the padded stairs. Elsa laughed. She was left to follow him as he near-sprinted across the living room.

"Mama!" he shouted in greeting.

Elsa slowed as she approached the kitchen. She rounded the counter and her heart lurched painfully in her chest.

"Are you alright?" she asked, freezing against her feet.

Honeymaren was lifting Ryder from the floor. Her face shielded into his neck. Elsa stopped at the edge of the counter with her hand gripped around the ledge.

Honeymaren turned to face her and drew in a deep breath. "I'm fine…" she leveled calmly, feigning a grin.

Her eyes were red with unshed tears, and her breathing; slightly labored.

Lowering her brows, Elsa tilted her head. "Are you sure… because nothing about this screams alright to me."

Honeymaren laughed. "No, I'm really okay… I'm just- I'm having a hard time understanding why you're here…"

"Oh." Elsa stiffened.

Panic sizzled across her skin. She quickly pushed it aside and stepped towards Honeymaren.

"You don't think I want to be?" she asked.

Shaking her head, Honeymaren met her eyes. "No, it's the complete opposite, really… I know you want to be here, and that's what doesn't make any sense."

As the timer beeped over the stove, Elsa flinched. Her hand had been lowering to settle over Honeymaren's arm. She touched her anyway, stopping Honeymaren before she could walk away.

"I've got it." Elsa promised.

Using the mit beside the store, Elsa pulled out the baking tray. She dished the mini pot pie into Ryder's bowl and returned it to the counter.

Honeymaren's arms laced around Ryder's back. She turned her head. Honeymaren wouldn't look at her.

"Tell me something…" Elsa whispered, coming to stand beside her. "Why are you surprised that I want to be here with you?"

She shrugged. Honeymaren grabbed the bowl from the counter, leaving Elsa to follow. She sat at the dining table and attempted to slide Ryder into his booster. He protested with a shout, clinging to Honeymaren's arms.

"Here," Elsa sat beside her. "Let me do this."

She took the bowl from Honeymaren's hand. Elsa lifted the spoon to her lips and carefully blew on the first bite. She held it out to Ryder who eyed her skeptically. Finally, he happily obliged. His mouth closed over the spoon and he hummed in contentment.

Elsa was smiling as she watched.

"This…" Honeymaren began softly. "-is what surprises me… That this is what you'd want to do with your Saturday night. You know I can't give the same things as a new, normal relationship, yet you're still here…"

Elsa turned to her, seeing Honeymaren frown. "Relationship?" she arched her brow. "Is that what this is to you?"

Honeymaren shook her head as humour bloomed on Elsa's face. "Well, when the coffee didn't buy you into bed with me like I'd been hoping it would… I figured I should meet you halfway."

She mocked a glare. Elsa leaned playfully into her arm. "Does that make me your girlfriend, then?"

Eyes briefly widening, Honeymaren reeled back. Elsa wasn't looking at her as she fed Ryder another bit of his dinner.

"Is, um, is it too soon? Is that what you want, because-"

"I kind of already thought I was…" Elsa shrugged. "-or at least I thought that's where we were heading."

Ryder grinned at Elsa. "Yum!" he cooed, and Elsa giggled at him with a slight turn of her head.

Honeymaren watched on. Her warm brown eyes traced thoughtfully over the side of Elsa's pale face.

"Girlfriend it is." she finally whispered.

Elsa nodded. Her attention fully lifted to Honeymaren. "-then as your girlfriend, it shouldn't come as such a surprise to you that this is exactly how I pictured spending my Saturday night."

"-but it's Halloween…" Honeymaren defended.

"And? I spent the day trick-or-treating with people I care about, and if I wasn't here right now; I'd be at home on my couch, grading papers or watching Netflix… Being here with you and Ryder sounds like the better option now, doesn't it?"

Her gaze fell as she went back to feeding Ryder. She could feel Honeymaren's gaze on her the entire time. Even when she finished, Honeymaren still stared. Elsa offered her a small smile before standing and moving over to the sink.

Honeymaren knew she should respond. It was rude not to. However, the words lingering on her lips were terrifying. It was too soon to say them; too soon to think them, even. It had Honeymaren wondering if she'd ever felt like this before.

Finally ready to face what she'd started, Honeymaren stood from the table with Ryder in her arms. She came to lean against the counter. Turning her eyes from Elsa's hands as she watched dishes up to her face; Honeymaren opened her mouth to speak.

"I-"

Her words cut off as the door to her apartment opened.

"Knock, knock!" someone shouted.

Elsa's hand froze under the hot water. Honeymaren spun fast.

"Na-na!" Ryder screeched.

He wriggled free from his mother's arms. Honeymaren placed him on his feet and watched as he took off running.

In the foyer stood an elder woman. She was wearing clean black slacks and a button down. Her eyes were cast downward as she scooped Ryder from the floor. Yet suddenly, her eyes drove wide when she looked back up.

"Oh my, I'm sorry…" the woman stepped into the light of the dining area. "I didn't know you were entertaining!"

"Mom, it's fine. This is Elsa… Elsa, this is my mother, Linnea."

Elsa worked to quickly dry her hands.

"This is Elsa- Elsa from our bet… and you have her doing dishes?" Linnea turned to glare at her daughter.

"I don't make her do anything," Honeymaren defended. "She's just stubborn like that."

Shaking her head, Elsa stepped forward. "It's nice to meet you, and please! Don't worry about the dishes… I really didn't give her a choice."

"Well listen, ladies. I didn't mean to intrude, but I am starting to understand why you asked for so much food from the restaurant…" Linnea smirked.

"Restaurant?" Elsa's head tilted.

"Mom co-owns a restaurant in the downtown area. She's a great chief." Honeymaren explained. She smiled at Elsa before going to retrieve the food from the foyer. "Actually you've already had her cooking."

"The orchestra?" Elsa laughed, her brow lifting.

"That sounds like Maren… always planning something…"

Honeymaren bumped her mother on the way by. She set the food down on the counter before returning to Elsa's side.

"Ry's just about to pass out here. Trick-or-treating got him worn out?" Linnea asked. Her hand soothed over Ryder's back.

"That, and Elsa just fed him. He'll be out for the night the second I put him down."

Linnea's expression turned stern once more. "You mean to tell me- Elsa fed your son, and then washed your dishes?" she tutted. "Child, I don't know who you think raised you… I don't know whether to scold you or convince you to make Elsa stay forever."

Honeymaren grit her teeth. She approached her mother and slipped Ryder from her arms.

"Thank you, mom, for the food… I really appreciate it."

Linnea could see she'd struck a nerve. However, she ignored it and kissed her daughter's head. "Alright… I'll stop my teasing and leave you both be. Elsa," she turned. "It was so nice to meet you."

"Lovely to meet you as well." Elsa smiled warmly.

She watched Linnea give her love to Ryder. She touched a finger to Honeymaren's chin before making her exit. After she left, though, Honeymaren's demeanor stayed the same. She busied herself in the kitchen, clutching Ryder to her chest, and ignoring Elsa's gaze.

Finally, Elsa had enough. She came to stand at Honeymaren's side as she wiped down the counter.

"I hope you're not taking what your mother said to heart. We just talked about this…"

Honeymaren didn't respond until Elsa's hand settled over hers. The rag on the counter stilled with her touch.

"I'm happy here; with you, and with Ryder." Elsa promised. Her finger tapped against Honeymaren's wrist. "Now, why don't you go change out of your costume and I'll take Ryder for a minute."

Her stare was pensive. Honeymaren seemed almost unwilling to allow Elsa to do anything else.

But finally, she sighed. "Would you mind getting him into his pajamas? They're still out on the couch."

"Of course." Elsa pulled Ryder from her arms.

He didn't protest. Even when Honeymaren turned from them and began walking away; Ryder stayed completely content in Elsa's hold.

"Hey…" she called to her, stopping Honeymaren from going too far.

Elsa curled her finger and beckoned her back. It was much like she had done to Elsa a week ago on their first date.

With eyes low, Honeymaren approached. Elsa watched her intently. Her stare was strict, but soft. When Honeymaren was in reaching distance, Elsa took a hand to her collar and pulled Honeymaren's lips onto hers. She kissed her with a tenderness that surprised them both. Breathless and scattered, they parted with a breath.

"I want to be here." Elsa told her when they parted. "Don't doubt that."

Stern facade breaking, Honeymaren smirked. "Okay, Snowflake. I believe you."

Honeymaren stole her lips once more before disappearing to her room. When she returned minutes later, her face had been scrubbed free from make up. She'd replaced her costume with sweatpants and a tank. Her hair was up in a bun.

Honeymaren smiled when she saw her and her son, snuggled on the couch and watching her. Elsa had managed to wrestle Ryder into his pajamas, and now he was near asleep on her chest.

While she stayed like that, Honeymaren delivered their food. Elsa smiled happily at the display.

"Tapas… you remembered."

Shaking her head. Honeymaren directed an olive to Elsa's lips. "Benefit of having a chief for a mother. She will make me whatever I want."

Elsa accepted the olive and hummed. "That certainly explains the homemade pizza now. I'm not sure I'd want delivery either; not if I was used to this." she motioned.

"Well here, let me take him so you can enjoy it." Honeymaren sat forward.

Elsa used a hand to stop her. "He's fine! You eat your food."

She scoffed, lowering her brows. "You just like the idea of being fed."

A strange noise in protest escaped her throat, but Elsa said nothing. Instead, she stole another olive from Honeymaren's plate.

"I think I'll make-do just fine on my own, thank you."

Sitting back, she watched Elsa closely. Honeymaren's eyes raised and she tilted her head. Whatever she was thinking, she decidedly kept it to herself. She allowed her mind to relax as she and Elsa enjoyed their meal.

A half hour later, Honeymaren returned from putting Ryder down. She found Elsa in the kitchen, transferring their leftovers into containers. Her back was to the hall when Honeymaren stepped into the room.

When she turned, her finger lifted. "Don't say a word." Elsa raised her brow.

"About you doing my dishes and cleaning up again… I wouldn't dare."

She was smirking, but the hurt from earlier had lingered. Elsa could see the hint of sorrow glazing her hazel eyes. It had her putting down the towel and coming to stand in front of Honeymaren.

"We should talk about earlier." Elsa prompted.

"What about?"

Seeing Honeymaren frown caused Elsa's hands to fidget at her waist. "I just want to make sure you're okay with this… all of this… and I want you to believe that I want to be here."

Honeymaren gently wiped the fallen hairs from her face. "Relax, Snowflake… I'm happy and thankful you're here."

She took her hand and gave it a gentle tug. Honeymaren was leading her back through the living area. Yet, she didn't stop there. She pulled Elsa into her bedroom and released their hands. Very quietly, she slid the door closed over the stairs, so as not to disturb Ryder while he slept.

When she turned around she found Elsa still standing in the doorway. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes; a little too wide to appear normal.

Honeymaren ignored her anxieties and flopped down on the bed. She fought a laugh when Elsa came to stand across from her. Her fingers were dancing together as she bit down on her lip.

"Honeymaren…" she whispered. Her voice sang with a hint of discomfort.

"Yes, Snowflake?" Honeymaren replied as she picked up the TV remote.

"I don't have my car here…" Elsa looked down at her hands. "I was wondering… did you want me to stay; am I supposed to stay?"

She put down the remote and turned to face her fully. "I figured you could… if you wanted to, or if not… there is this lovely app called Uber and-"

"I get it, I get it…" Elsa glared. "I just didn't want to misinterpret the plans for this evening, is all."

Laughing, Honeymaren reached forward and pulled Elsa onto the bed by her hand. "You think too much, do you know that?"

To Elsa's surprise, she wasn't led to Honeymaren's lips. Instead, she was given a pillow and directed into her lap. Wordlessly, Elsa allowed herself to relax. Gentle fingers combed through her hair as Honeymaren went back to scrolling through the TV.

Their predicament had Elsa feeling vulnerable. She never experienced anything like it. Her last relationship had been sporadic. It stayed as such until it's very predictable end. It was hard to throw herself over to the comfort she'd found with Honeymaren. Elsa still awaited the moment she did something wrong and it all went away.

But then Honeymaren's hand stilled against her hair. She left it there; sitting just above her ear. Elsa released a deep breath. She couldn't hold Honeymaren at fault for her insecurities while she was still dealing with ones of her own.

"Just so you know… I really hate horror movies." Elsa divulged, and Honeymaren laughed.

Her fingers started in Elsa's hair again. "I had a feeling you might. You don't strike me as a thriller kind of girl, you know… But I can promise you this- I will only make you join me once a year to watch them. Besides, who knows; maybe you'll find one you actually enjoy…"

"Doubtful, very doubtful…" Elsa hummed.

"Fine, stubborn. Just this once, and I won't bother you again until next year."

Elsa shivered. She pretended it was the gentle fingers combing through her hair which had her reacting that way; but she knew it wasn't. It was the woman attached to that hand, making commitments months for them for months from now. Elsa knew very little about her. However, what she did know about Honeymaren; she was starting to more-than-like.

Instead of overthinking, Elsa relaxed into her touch. She soundless sighed and began to watch the movie she hadn't realized started playing.

'Relaxed' did not last long, though. As day turned to night on screen, Elsa sat up. She arched back into the pillows. Elsa covered her eyes and turned from the TV.

"How can you stand this?" she asked ridiculously.

Honeymaren tugged the fingers away from Elsa's face. "It's the adrenaline… it's exciting."

"Exciting?" she shook her head. "The only thing I feel right now is terrified!"

Rolling her eyes, Honeymaren drew her closer. "Come here, you goof."

Elsa moved onto her side, and Honeymaren's arm wrapped around her hip. She carefully laid her check against Honeymaren's chest. Her head tilted and Elsa's lips drew coyly to the side.

"You planned this, didn't you?" she asked.

Honeymaren pushed the hair from Elsa's face. "I don't know what you're suggesting. This was my plan for the evening whether you joined me in it or not."

"Oh yeah?" her brow arched. "Who was the other woman you had to let down when I said yes, then?"

Elsa had said it so casually, Honeymaren pulled away to see her better. Elsa laughed. Feeling daring, she kissed Honeymaren quick before settling back down in her arms.

"Always surprising me…" Honeymaren turned her head and relaxed into the pillows.

Nearing the height of the movie, even as the tension steadily grew; Elsa was surprised to find she was rather enjoying the plot. She didn't care for the fear factor. That went without saying. However, there was something about being wrapped up in Honeymaren's arms that had her feeling safe. Elsa was warm and sated against the sheets. Content in her comfort, she couldn't think of a better way to spend an evening.

Suddenly, Elsa gasped. She sat up with a hand over her mouth. "No way! They were the ones doing the haunting the whole time?"

She turned to Honeymaren who laughed. "Yup, turns out both the living and the dead can scare each other in this one."

"Wow!" Elsa breathed. "What a strange concept… It almost makes me feel sorry for ghosts."

Elsa's lips pursed as she thought. In that moment, Honeymaren couldn't help but find her completely adorable. She smiled as Elsa tilted her head in contemplation and sat forward to face her.

"So… what are you thinking?" Honeymaren's lip tucked between her teeth. "Am I putting on another movie, or are we grabbing you an Uber? Well… not that you couldn't Uber after… I just wanted to give you an out now if you felt like you needed one…"

Elsa's shoulders shrugged into her ears. Her eyes diverted toward the ceiling. "As much as I am hating this horror movie trap you've got me in… I think I'll stay."

Her attention returned, and Honeymaren blinked. "Really?"

"Only if you want me to, of course."

She watched Elsa's cheeks darken. Honeymaren knew she should respond, but she stood instead. Actions were sometimes better than words, and she decided to prove that.

Wandering over to the dresser, she pulled out two items. Honeymaren came to stand in front of Elsa and handed them to her. "If the jeans are getting uncomfortable, you can wear these instead."

Elsa smiled as she accepted them.

Honeymaren could tell by the fading blush on the woman's face; that was the answer she had needed. "The bathroom is right through there."

She pointed to the door next to Ryder's room. Elsa soundlessly slid from the bed and retreated from her sight. Once alone, Elsa sighed. The lighting was dim, but she could easily see her reflection in the mirror.

As she stripped her shirt, Elsa looked down at her appearance. "She won't care. She won't care…" she internally voiced.

She slipped the grey hoodie over her head, and stepped into the thin cotton shorts. They slid up her bare legs with ease. The clothes smelt like Honeymaren. It was that same 'earthy but sweet' scent she always recognized when they were together. The aroma was, very noticeably, becoming one of Elsa's favorite things about her.

Breaking from the trance, she stared at herself once more. Elsa's makeup had faded. Her cheeks were permanently stained pink. As excited as she was to be here, Elsa couldn't fight the nerves that were quickly taking over.

She quickly splashed her face with cool water and stepped back with a deep breath.

"Be honest." she told herself. Her hand went to the door. "You've got this."

When Elsa returned, Honeymaren was seated on the edge of the bed. She was watching her curiously, appearing a little scared, even. Elsa wondered if Honeymaren thought she'd change her mind while she was gone. It was surprisingly comforting to know they both felt anxious about her staying here.

Honeymaren reached out her hand. Her fingers waggled, and Elsa slipped hers between them.

"Can I be honest with you about something before we get back into bed?" she tentatively asked.

"Of course," Honeymaren nodded. "I'm all ears…"

Jaw wavering, Elsa's grip on Honeymaren's hand tightened. "I-"

Her words suddenly cut off.

In the distance, a door was thrown open and bounced against its adjoining wall. The whole apartment shook with the force. Both Elsa and Honeymaren were startled still with their eyes held wide.

"Mare!" someone shouted.

Honeymaren's face paled.

"Shit." she barely mumbled. She pulled from Elsa's hand and walked to the door. "Please… Elsa… just- I need you to stay here for a minute."

Cheers,

-M.