Cold Secrets
M. Lauren
Chapter Eighteen
Something touched the side of her face. The sensation traveled down from her cheek and into the curve of her jaw. Elsa sleepily brushed it away. She tried to hide from the disturbance and roll onto her side, but she found herself inconveniently held in place against her back.
Her blue eyes suddenly blinked open.
The added weight pressing against her stomach wasn't uncomfortable, but it was strange. Amongst the dark room, her vision took a moment to adjust. She struggled out of the sheets. With a tired hand she stretched and rubbed her eyes. When her vision finally cleared, Elsa felt herself smile. She found Honeymaren perched up on one arm beside her. Her other hand extended across Elsa's bare waist; an attempt to make certain that she couldn't pull away.
"What time is it?" she hid a yawn into her open hand.
"Early…" Honeymaren leaned down and kissed her softly.
"What about Ryder?"
She sighed. Her lips pursed sadly. "I know… that's why I woke you up."
"You have to go," Elsa nodded in understanding. She smiled, hoping to help Honeymaren stop looking so afraid.
"I do... but I thought... maybe… you might like to come with me?"
Honeymaren's hand slowly breezed up from Elsa's waist. Her fingers lightly etched along her ribs before stopping below her breast. She started to circle the warm skin with the curve of her thumb. Honeymaren smiled, feeling Elsa shiver beneath her.
Elsa's breathing hitched. "I- I'd like that…" she arched into the touch.
"Hmm, but it doesn't look like you're ready to leave just yet…"
"It doesn't?" Her words cut off as Honeymaren's lips replaced against where her fingertips had lingered.
"No," she hummed against her. "Besides… I thought I might leave a few minutes to do this before we go…While we're still...uninterrupted..."
Sliding beneath the sheets, Honeymaren's lips trailed the length of Elsa's body... teasingly slow. She descended further until reaching her waist. All but Honeymaren's sleep-mused head had disappeared between her legs.
With her teeth grazing the crest of Elsa's hip, Honeymaren looked up. She winked, flashing her a quick grin before pulling the sheets overhead.
Warmth expanded between Elsa's legs. At the contact, her hips twitched away from the mattress. Honeymaren caught her, holding her tightly in place. Elsa whimpered in response. Her body began tingling all over and she buried her weight into her shoulders.
As fire trapped below her belly, she slid her hand beneath the sheets. Fingers threaded through Honeymaren's hair, and Elsa encouraged her movements with a soft cry.
When Honeymaren returned to her minutes later, her weight settled over Elsa. She thanked Honeymaren graciously with a kiss and directed her arms to curl around her back.
"I can't tell you how long I've wanted to do that for…" Honeymaren brought their foreheads together.
"To me?" she breathlessly asked.
"To anyone…"
Blushing like crazy, Elsa pulled her even closer. "Your first time?" her brow arched. "I can't say I'm not impressed."
Honeymaren rolled her eyes. She turned onto her side, pulling the sheets with her. "You can thank me later, Snowflake… Now, get up! I'm taking you with me now whether you want to or not."
Elsa obliged, but wouldn't let Honeymaren wander too far. She snagged her hand and dragged her back; sinking her lips against the scar at Honeymaren's waist.
She then raised onto her knees. Elsa's arms fell over her girlfriend's bare, tan shoulders. "I will thank you later…" she smirked. "That is a promise."
Her lips brushed Honeymaren's and she slowly pulled away.
"Tired?" Honeymaren giggled, watching Elsa flop down onto her couch.
She was usually so poised and careful with her movements. To see Elsa relaxing around them; it made her smile.
They'd walked into her apartment minutes before. Honeymaren's mother passed off Ryder as they headed downstairs. Elsa kicked off her shoes by the door. Her shoulders slumped tiredly as she descended down the hall, then she landed on the couch with a huff and pulled the pillows securely beneath her head.
"Someone kept me up all night… and woke me up early…" Elsa's hand shielded against her forehead.
"That was payback for making me worry about you." Honeymaren teased.
Elsa didn't respond. Ryder had teetered over to the edge of the couch. With his hands raised into her face, he demanded to be picked up. Elsa did so without debate. She lifted him into the air and settled him onto her legs.
Ryder giggled, burying his head into her stomach.
Honeymaren smiled. She shook her head. "Coffee?" she asked and squeezed Elsa's toes.
"I'd love some, but don't go making anything special… I'll just have what you're having, alright?"
Her lips tightened into a smirk. "I'll do as I please, Snowflake…"
Honeymaren turned around. Elsa's protests grew quieter in the distance. When she returned, Ryder and Elsa were in much different positions than they had been previously. Ryder lay on his back and had his feet pressed into Elsa's face. She was tickling the undersides with her fingers. He giggled like mad in response. Ryder didn't stop until he was suddenly lifted from her hold. Honeymaren had trapped him beneath one arm as she handed Elsa her coffee. Once she righted and took the coffee between her hands; Ryder was returned to the couch with a bounce.
She sat beside them when she reentered the room with her own coffee. From the corner of her eye, Honeymaren watched Elsa stiff the brim of her mug. A smirk tightened across her lips. Her eyes rolled and her brows lowered.
"Pumpkin…" Elsa glared.
"What did I tell you, Snowflake? It's growing on me…"
Ryder pulled himself up to stand between them. He bobbled over the cushions, holding onto his mother's shoulder to keep his balance.
"El'a here!" he told her.
Honeymaren laughed. "That's right, bud. Elsa's here!"
"I'm starting to think he might like me best…"
Honeymaren leered. Her eyes grew stern. "Keep dreaming, lady..."
Ryder responded by laying his feet in Elsa's lap. She tickled them again with her fingers. He squirmed, but didn't move away from her touch.
"So, is there anything you wanted to do today?" Honeymaren asked. She sipped her coffee and turned into the corner of the couch.
"Meaning?" Her brow arched. She mimicked Honeymaren's movements, and Ryder followed her.
"Meaning... it's Saturday, and I'm not sure what you usually like to do with your days off."
Elsa put down her coffee on the end table as Ryder climbed fully into her lap. "-other than catch up on work, you mean?" she laughed. "What do you two usually do?"
Shrugging, Honeymaren pursed her lips. "This…"
Elsa shook her head. "-and why wouldn't this be okay with me? Besides, I have my computer here. I can get work done from your apartment just as easily as I can from mine."
"You say that now… but you obviously haven't tried to grade with a Ryder on your lap before." Honeymaren leaned forward to brush a hand over her son's head.
"Grading is a sacrifice I am willing to make."
Ryder looked up at Elsa. His hands tugged playfully at her hair.
"I think we've made enough sacrifices, you and I… From now on we should focus on just being happy instead."
Sliding her eyes to Honeymaren, Elsa smiled. "Is that your way of telling me you're happy?"
Honeymaren leaned in over Ryder's head. Her lips affectionately brushed Elsa's. "Yes, Snowflake… very happy."
Saturday floated by with ease. Amidst their new found comfort, their time together carried into the following day. Neither seemed willing to break the happy bubble they'd been living in. However, with Sunday coming to a close; both knew that moment was coming sooner than either would have liked.
Ryder was down for his afternoon nap. Honeymaren was tidying up the kitchen. Elsa had seated herself at the dining table while she went over her syllabus for the upcoming week.
She was intently reading through her notes. When Honeymaren came to stand beside the table, Elsa didn't notice her. Seeing her girl friend's brows lowered and her fully-attentive gaze, had Honeymaren smiling. She leaned over the bench seat. Her hand slipped under Elsa's chin. Honeymaren dragged her attention away from the computer and stole Elsa's lips with her own.
"Come with me," she whispered.
Elsa looked back at her computer, but wouldn't put up a fight. "Where are we going?"
Honeymaren winked."I have something for you,"
She pulled Elsa into the bedroom and sat her at the end of the mattress. Elsa watched as Honeymaren slowly make her way along the bookshelf. Her fingers teasingly trailed along the wood behind her. She stopped at the last row. Tucked between a candle and a succulent was a familiar brown paper bag.
Honeymaren carried it back to Elsa. She placed the bag in her lap. "Do you remember this?"
Elsa nodded. "From our first date… I did wonder…"
Honeymaren watched her hands tentatively slide over the top of the bag. "Go ahead, open it." she smiled.
Her expression turned skeptical. Elsa looked over the small package before raising her eyes to Honeymaren. "What is it?"
Glaring, Honeymaren nudged her playfully.
Elsa did as she was directed. Gently, she unfolded the opening. Her fingers slipped inside and she released the contents of the bag.
"It's a book?" she frowned and turned it over in her hands.
The book was small in size. Leather-bound, there were no markings nor a title on its cover. It appeared more like a notebook than a novel, but inside Elsa found printed words.
Confused, she turned back to Honeymaren.
"It's my book." she explained.
"Your book? You wrote a book?" Elsa's eyes enlarged.
"I did… over the summer… I had it printed for my bookshelf, but I haven't shared it with anyone yet…" Honeymaren's lips pursed and she shrugged.
"I- I don't understand… you wrote a book? You wrote a book, but you haven't shared it with anyone? What- why are you showing this to me?" Slowly, Elsa began to smile, gripping the leather a little tighter between her hands.
"It was ready from the printer on the night of our first date. I was being selfish, but I didn't want to wait until the next day to see it… I'm not sure I planned to give it to you then, but now…" she returned Elsa's smile. "-I don't know. I think it would make me happy to have you read it…"
"You wrote a book!" Elsa said again and pulled it against her chest. "You paint murals, and cook, and read, and you wrote a book!"
Elsa was shaking her head in awe. Her elation had Honeymaren blushing.
"I do, and I did…" she pulled the book from Elsa's hands and placed it on the bed. "- and I think I'm ready to let someone else read it."
Honeymaren leaned down to kiss her, but Elsa tried turning on her side. She fought to take the book back, but Honeymaren stopped her by catching Elsa's hands with her own.
"Patience, Snowflake…" she gently forced Elsa onto her back. "You'll have time to read later…"
"But you can't give me something like that and then tell me to wait!" she uncharacteristically pouted.
Soft lips moved across Elsa's jaw and started their descent down her neck. Subconsciously, she dropped her head back to give Honeymaren easier access.
"As flattered as I am that you're so excited about this…" Honeymaren's words tickled against the skin of Elsa's throat. "-I'd much rather take this time to appreciate my beautiful, supportive, girlfriend…"
A gasp pulled past her lips as Honeymaren's teeth grazed her ear. "Hmm… is that so?"
She drew back to see Elsa's perfectly arched brow. Honeymaren had known she won, but seeing Elsa's rapidly darkening expression; she had to wonder who, in that moment, the real winner was?
"I've said this before, but you, Snowflake, will be the death of me…"
With a quick tug of her hand, she had Elsa sitting upright. Honeymaren dragged her from the bed and into the living room. From behind her, Elsa's hands had already found tan, heated skin. Her fingers ducked beneath Honeymaren's shirt and slid tantalizingly slow up from her stomach.
Honeymaren turned on her in an instant. She pulled the bedroom door closed behind them. Elsa was quick to free Honeymaren from her shirt before their lips were directed together.
Honeymaren pushed her backwards, leading her toward the couch. The backs of Elsa's knees connected with ottoman. She came to a halt and Honeymaren grinned. Seeing Elsa's eyes dark and breathing labored had excitement coursing through her own skim.
She pressed down on her shoulder. Elsa was forced to sit at the edge of the cushion. Lowering to her, Honeymaren straddled her. She directed her knees to cradle Elsa's hips beneath her own.
Her hands found blonde hair. "I wasn't counting on this, you know…"
Elsa's eyes flickered between Honeymaren's and the lips inching closer towards her. "Counting on what?"
Guiding Elsa onto her back, she looked down at her. "This… I can't stop thinking about this… about you, Elsa."
Her hands pushed up from her waist. Honeymaren savoured every curve and crest beneath her finger tips. Elsa was trembling beneath her. Be it the words or Honeymaren's hands, she turned to liquid under her touch. Elsa's eyes followed the lustful gaze that trailed over her shirt and up her neck. She had to wonder how long it had been since she'd been looked at like this.
Yet, right then and there, Elsa was fairly certain no one had or ever would look at her the same way Honeymaren did.
"Don't…" was all Elsa could bring herself to say.
Honeymaren sank lower on top of her. "Don't what?"
"Don't stop thinking about me," she breathed.
Grinning, Honeymaren touched her lips to Elsa's. "Looking like you do, Snowflake… never."
Elsa's fingers circled around Honeymaren's waist and settled against her back. She quickly unclasped her bra. Tossing it aside, Elsa leaned up and accepted the lips that had found hers. Though distracted, Honeymaren managed to sneak her hands beneath the fabric of Elsa's shirt. A tongue slipped between her lips, and Honeymaren sighed against her. The idea of pulling away from Elsa to release her shirt was suddenly painful. At the thought, Honeymaren groaned and tucked an arm behind Elsa's neck. She lifted Elsa's back from the ottoman. Their lips still sealed together.
Working the shirt free from her arms, Honeymaren pulled away only long enough to draw the shirt over Elsa's head.
When Honeymaren found her lips again, the phone rang.
She was lowering Elsa back onto the cushion and stubbornly refused to acknowledge it. However, the noise was blatantly annoying and killing the mood face. It seemed to grow louder with each passing second, causing Elsa's eyes to reopen. She frowned watching Honeymaren fight it. When it finally silenced, both women believed they had won.
Unfortunately though, when Elsa's eyes closed, the noise began again.
With a hand to her chest, Elsa pushed her upright. Honeymaren sighed and slid from Elsa's waist. "I'll be right back," she promised.
Tan and topless, Honeymaren disappeared into the kitchen. Elsa sat up as she waited for her to return. From beyond the wall she heard Honeymaren answer the phone. Her tone went from confused to surprised in a matter of seconds.
Elsa watched her slowly re-enter the room. Her eyes were wide as she held the cellphone against her ear. Honeymaren covered an arm around her waist and her shoulders shrugged uncomfortably into her neck.
"I- thank you for that…" she managed.
Rotating toward her, Elsa's head tilted to the side. She watched Honeymaren blink and her jaw, waver.
"Yes, I see, but perhaps it would be better to discuss the rest in person?"
Elsa's frown continued to deepen.
"I- I understand. Thank you for letting me know…" Honeymaren said her goodbyes and hung up the phone.
She tossed it onto the couch, but didn't return immediately to Elsa as she'd planned. Instead she sauntered toward her slowly. Her brown eyes held at the floor. Honeymaren tentatively sat next to her, and her lips drew to the side.
She met Elsa's stare. "That was, um, Belle..." Honeymaren explained.
"Oh…" her brows tucked. "What did she want?"
Dragging a hand through her hair, Honeymaren sighed. "She was letting me know that my weekly schedule would be changing to accommodate the new program."
"I see…" Elsa's tone heightened in understanding.
"Don't worry about it, okay?" Honeymaren forced a smile. "I didn't want to tell Belle over the phone about my decision to turn down the position. You and I haven't had the chance to talk about it yet, but I want to make sure Belle understands my reasoning."
"You're going to tell her?" Elsa's eyes enlarged.
"No, no!" Honeymaren caught her hands. "I just meant- it's polieter coming from me in person…"
Anxiety lingered beneath her wrinkled expression. "It's okay… if you want- I mean… I would understand if you want to take the job. I want you to take the job… if you think you should…"
Honeymaren brushed Elsa's hair behind her ears. "No more sacrifices, remember?"
Elsa stiffened. She shook her head. "By doing this you'd be sacrificing everything for me!"
Her eyes lowered to her. "It's not a sacrifice if I want to do it, Snowflake."
Sliding from the ottoman, Elsa crossed her arms. "You're giving up a promotion for personal reasons; reasons that have nothing to do with you! That's the exact definition of a sacrifice!" Her hands went to her hips.
Honeymaren fished around the floor for her shirt. She slid it over her head and stood to join Elsa on her feet. "I would be sacrificing more if I moved forward with the promotion, don't you see that? If I take that position it would make you uncomfortable. I'd have to spend time with someone who you have actively tried to remove from your life. Why would I want to take a job like that? I don't want to put space between us, Elsa- not when I'm still working out how we can move forward together."
She looked at Honeymaren unbelievingly. Her mouth tipped to respond, but the words wouldn't come.
"What would you have me do?" Honeymaren asked.
"What?"
Taking Elsa's arms between her hands, Honeymaren stepped forward. "What would you have me do? If I could make you happy, what would that look like to you?"
Her jaw wavered. "I-I don't know… I haven't thought about it…"
"Let's think about it, then." Honeymaren pulled her toward the couch. She sat and dragged Elsa beside her. "Tomorrow when I go to work, Helga is going to approach me about the new position… What would you like me to say to her?"
Elsa shrugged. Her eyes pulled to her lap. "I- I'm not sure," she frowned. "Tell her you're grateful for the opportunity..."
"And you're going to what… avoid the library for the rest of your life?"
Hearing Honeymaren's pitch change, Elsa looked up. "I could…"
Her head shook and Honeymaren sighed. "That's silly, Elsa, and it's not fair to yourself to have to start walking around campus like you're afraid to see her. I'm not going to take the job because I don't want to, but it would be easier if you could be there with me when I tell her. Let's make it so she knows exactly why I don't want the job."
Elsa's breathing hitched. Her back straightened. "No, I- I couldn't…"
"Why not?" Honeymaren leveled. "You're not ashamed of me, are you?"
She could see Honeymaren was teasing her, but it hadn't made responding any easier. Elsa shifted slightly and pulled her legs into her chest. "You know it doesn't have anything to do with you…"
"I know that, Elsa… but I'm telling you now- make it about me."
Her arms crossed over her knees. "That doesn't make any sense."
Smiling, Honeymaren dragged Elsa stubbornly into her side. Her hand massaged through her hair and Elsa was forced to loosen her grip on her legs.
"It makes perfect sense to me… We go to Helga together. I tell her I can't take the job and by being there; you show her that you've moved on and that there's no longer room for her in your life."
Elsa stifled a breath. Her back arched away from Honeymaren's arm. "Do you understand what you're asking of me?"
Slowly nodding, Honeymaren directed a finger beneath Elsa's chin. She leaned forward and brushed their lips together. "Go with me, and then I will buy you coffee afterwards…"
Elsa snorted. "Nice try…"
Honeymaren thought again. Their lips remained teasingly close together. "More M&Ms?" Elsa shook her head. "Hmm…" Honeymaren slipped her hand beneath the wire of Elsa's bra. "I'm sure I could think of some way to motivate you…"
Elsa swatted her hand away. "Not funny…" she lowered her eyes. "This is serious!"
"I know! Which requires serious motivation, Snowflake…"
In an instant, Honeymaren had Elsa splayed on her back along the couch. She came to hover over her. Her lips worked across her jaw and stopped just below Elsa's ear.
"Come with me…" she whispered. Her nose brushed the soft skin of Elsa's ear.
She shook her head.
"I could do it without you, you know?" Honeymaren said, rising higher onto her knees. "I'll tell Helga I'm turning down the job because my sexy, intelligent, blue-eyed girlfriend is more important to me than her pandering… but then who will be there to defend me if she gets mad?"
Elsa rolled her eyes. "You don't look like someone who needs defending."
"Oh, but I do... " She watched Elsa turn away. Honeymaren groaned at the sight. "Come on, don't be like this! You know you're going to feel so much better once you've confronted her, head on!"
Lips pursing, Elsa slowly brought her eyes back to Honeymaren's. Her chin tipped and she leveled her with a stare. "Maybe." she stated shortly.
A smile started its way across her cheeks. "I'll take maybe, Snowflake… and I'm sure I could think of a way to turn that maybe into a definite yes…"
Her grin pulled tight into a smirk and Honeymaren descended the length of Elsa's legs.
"Yes doesn't count if I'm saying it for other reasons..." she dryly prompted.
Honeymaren ran her finger down the length of Elsa's torso. "In this house, yes counts for everything, and don't you forget it."
Cheers,
-M.