Cold Secrets

-M. Lauren

Chapter Twenty

It was a sporadic midmorning phone call that had Elsa parking outside of Mayweather Montessori. The time on Honeymaren's clock read 11:53am. Rain poured down from the skies. The wind was howling, but Elsa couldn't be bothered to care.

She stepped from the sedan and rushed to the entryway. This time, she was confident she'd get through the doors.

Breathless and with tears in her eyes, Honeymaren had stood under the awning to the university library. She handed Elsa her car keys and her code to the daycare.

"You really don't mind?" she had asked. Her expression was both skeptical and anxious.

Elsa leveled her with a low stare. "Of course I don't mind."

"It's just- I can't leave… I have a mandatory staff meeting! My mother is at a conference in New York City, and Rico-"

"Honeymaren," she placed a hand to her shoulder, effectively silencing her. "Ryder is sick. My classes are done for the day. It's not a problem, I assure you."

Honeymaren released a breath. Still, her face remained unsure. "Really? Really, really?"

"Yes, really…" Elsa ginned. "Now, do what you need to do. I promise, Ryder will be fine with me."

Brown eyes scanned her slowly. Honeymaren was looking for any sign that Elsa might not be telling the truth, but she wouldn't find one there.

"Thank you, Elsa," the smile she returned was weak at best.

Honeymaren quickly kissed her cheek before darting back off into the library.

That was how Elsa found herself standing outside of classroom one. With a tentative hand, she released the door and quietly entered. The school was more occupied than the last time she'd been here on her own. A dozen pairs of small eyes looked up from their lunches. Two standing teachers welcomed Elsa in with a grin.

Ryder was in the arms of a woman on the other side of the room. When he saw her, his head lifted from his teacher's chest. He reached out to her and his blue eyes began to water.

"El'a!" he cried. He weakly fought to be put down.

With her lip pulled low, Elsa went to him. The teacher easily transitioned Ryder into her arms. His face buried into her neck and he latched his hands against her back.

"He's warm…" she frowned. "Has he taken anything?"

The teacher shook her head. "His fever is 101.3/38.5. He has acetaminophen on his approved list, but unfortunately his medication basket was empty when we checked."

She smiled as Millie came to stand at her side. Elsa placed a hand on her head and turned back to the teacher. "No worries... I'll get him something on the way home. What else do you need from me?"

Ryder's teacher shrugged. "We have your id on file already. You can just sign him out and grab his things- Oh! And, please, remind Miss Nattura that Ryder needs to be fever-free for twenty four hours before he can return."

"Of course," Elsa nodded. "We'll keep an eye on him."

She watched Millie waddle back over to the table and sit down in front of her food. Apparently, she was completely unphased by her Aunt's arrival. Elsa took the opportunity and moved over to the book. She signed Ryder out, while his death grip moved to circle her neck.

She was grabbing his jacket and backpack when the teacher slid in at Elsa's side. She placed a hand on her shoulder, and Elsa turned.

The woman handed her a folded slip of paper. "If you could, please get this to Miss Nattura as well."

With a frown, Elsa accepted the paper. She slipped it into the side pocket of Ryder's bag.

"We hope he feels better soon…" the teacher stroked his back.

"Us too," Elsa smiled.

She offered a quick thanks before leaving the room.

Once at the car, Ryder was not-so easily transitioned into his car seat. He fought for Elsa's arms, but didn't have the strength to keep it up. He was weak, and that had Elsa feeling terrible. She'd never cared for a sick child before. It was heartbreaking.

"We'll get you some medicine and have you feeling better in no time!" she promised him and stroked his cheek.

Together they made their way to the pharmacy. The entire time, Elsa had Ryder tucked against her chest with a hand to his back. He'd stopped crying, but his whines proved not even a hug could distract from how awful he felt. Holding him in one arm and the basket in the other, Elsa couldn't help but notice the looks she received from other shoppers. Some pitied her. Others looked skeptical.

"You really should be ashamed of yourself!"

One woman tutted as Elsa placed the acetaminophen in her basket. She turned to the woman, frowning.

"-bringing your sick child on your outings! That poor boy should be at home in bed! Just look at him…"

She walked away with a shake of her head. Elsa wished she could bring herself to respond, but she'd been startled silent.

Understandably, the stranger had her feeling angry. How dare she pass judgment on her. However, the real source of Elsa's emotions was the thought of Honeymaren. She had to put up with these needless comments all the time, while Elsa was only just beginning to understand this side of people.

She held Ryder a little tighter as they finished their shopping. He must have been content. Before they reached the counter he had fallen fast asleep with his head against her shoulder.

When Elsa arrived back at the exit, she found the same old woman struggling to open the door. Watching her fumble was ironic, but Elsa was kind. With Ryder in one arm and her groceries balanced in the same hand; Elsa held the door to her.

The woman looked her over, almost embarrassed in her expression. "Thank you…" she mumbled and quickly passed through.

Elsa smiled to herself. Kindness always won.

Getting inside Honeymaren's apartment was not as easy, though. Between the bags, Ryder, and his backpack; now it was them who was fumbling to get through a door.

Her situation only continued to worsen from there. As they stepped into the foyer, Ryder began to cry. Elsa was closing the door when the warmth of something very specific descended down her back. It was wet, and there was a terrible smell that came with it.

Elsa's eyes shot wide when she realized what was happening.

Dropping the bags at her feet, she pulled Ryder back to look at him. He was covered in his own sickness. The state of him had Ryder crying harder, and Elsa pouting sincerely. His blue eyes were glazed with fever. His complexion was pale.

"Oh, buddy…" Elsa sighed.

She ignored the bags as she hurried him off to the bathroom. Very quickly, she stripped him of his clothes and pulled off her own, stained shirt. Elsa wiped him down with a washcloth before replacing him in his pajamas. Not even the comfort of warm clothes could calm him now.

When they entered the living room, Elsa laid him down on the couch. His eyes slowly followed while she turned his cartoons on the TV. After a minute of sitting beside him, Ryder's whimpers faded. When Elsa walked away, he didn't protest. In fact, he barely noticed when she returned a minute later.

She had his juice cup, medicine, and backpack. Elsa's hair was wet and pulled high into a messy bun. She'd rinsed out what she could in the kitchen sink before slipping into one of Honeymaren's flannels that had been left by the front door.

Sitting him up right, getting Ryder to take his medicine was a project all on its own. It made opening the door to the apartment look easy. Elsa was surprised that she managed to keep the medicine off his clothes as she chased his mouth with the plastic syringe. Once he gave up and had suffered through swallowing most of it, Elsa handed him his cup. Ryder was crying again, but took a slow sip anyway. The liquid in his stomach had him recoiling. He dropped the cup as a wave of sickness spread over him. Frightened, Ryder raised his arms and demanded to be held.

He was much more content in Elsa's arms than he had been on his own. He weakly held onto her before dozing off with his head against her chest. Even in his dream state, the sickness took its toll. He shivered through the chills and body aches. Ryder's little eyelids flickered with fever.

Using her foot, Elsa pulled his bag onto the couch. She fought his blanket out of the big pocket and covered his back. Ryder curled into her instantly. His tiny snores began, and Elsa couldn't help but smile.

When she went to put the bag back on the ground, Elsa noticed the letter from his teacher sticking out of the side. The bright red letters across the fold had her eyes growing wide.

*FINAL NOTICE*

Elsa knew she shouldn't, but she grabbed the letter anyway. Slowly, she unfolded it and her heart began to sink.

...

Miss Nattura,

This is your final notice for your outstanding balance of $4,000. At this time, please refer to your parent handbook for more information on late and non-payments. In order for Ryder to continue his education at Mayweather Montessori, please make your partial payment of $1,500 by Monday November, 16th.

If you have any questions or concerns, contact the billing office.

D. Patricia Halven

...

As Elsa refolded the letter she suddenly felt as ill as Ryder did; but for vastly different reasons. Honeymaren was having financial issues. Ryder was sick and on the verge of being kicked out of school. Honeymaren needed to work in order to pay for his childcare, yet it was evident she wasn't making nearly enough. Elsa couldn't help but wonder why she hadn't said anything to her. Did Honeymaren think she would judge her, or look down on her because of this?

Honeymaren was always too concerned with keeping up her facade as super-mom. Elsa knew that, and respected it, but there was more to the situation here than she previously believed.

Unfortunately, Elsa wasn't supposed to know any of this, though. She had violated Honeymaren's privacy by opening the letter, and which would cause her more guilt- knowing of her struggles, or breaking Honeymaren's trust? Elsa didn't know. She should pretend she'd never seen it, but would she be able to?

Stuffing the letter back into Ryder's bag, Elsa was already doubting it.

When Honeymaren stumbled into her apartment nearly three hours later, it was after four pm. Elsa was standing in the kitchen with Ryder in her arms. He was asleep as she stirred the pot over the stove. Drool dripped down onto the flannel she'd stolen, but Elsa didn't care.

"How is he?" Honeymaren smiled weakly.

She dropped her bag on the bench at the dining table and Elsa turned Ryder's head to her.

"Aw… he looks terrible…" she moaned.

Honeymaren mournfully pulled him onto her chest. Ryder didn't wake. His head was replaced against his mother's shoulder and his arms fell limply at his side.

"Ugh! He feels terrible, too…" Honeymaren placed her hand on Ryder's forehead with a frown.

"I've been keeping an eye on the fever. So far he hasn't exceeded 101/38, but you should continue to monitor it throughout the night. I also managed to get some Pedialyte into him, but solid foods are a no-go, I'm afraid… I'm making soup for dinner, hoping he might be able to keep down some broth instead… We'll have to see…"

Honeymaren stepped towards her, but she held up a hand.

Seeing her brown eyes continue to lower, Elsa laughed. "It's not you… it's me… I'm, uh- I'm covered in baby puke… I hadn't gotten a chance to clean myself up yet."'

Her brows shot to her hairline. "Oh my god! He threw up on you!" Honeymaren cheeks burned beneath her embarrassment.

"It's fine!" Elsa assured her. "He couldn't help it, and it's really not a big deal! I promise."

Honeymaren groaned. "Still! I never would have asked you to take care of him if I'd known he was sick like that!"

"Mare, It's okay… really… You had a meeting to go to, and it was easier from me to get away. I didn't mind helping. Besides, if I'm being honest- I felt honored that you asked…"

Elsa modestly shrugged. Honeymaren eyed her skeptically, her attention pulling slowly across Elsa's face.

"Honored?" she finally asked with a tilt of her head.

"Yeah… honored. You trusted me enough to take care of your son. I know it wasn't easy for you, but I'm glad you did…"

Ignoring Elsa's warning, Honeymaren stepped toward her. Her lips pulled briefly to the side before she kissed her. Honeymaren's nose brushed against Elsa's.

"You do smell…" she teased.

Elsa rolled her eyes. "I do… Now, would you prefer I got out of your hair for the evening, or would you like for me to stay and help you out?"

She was giving Honeymaren the opportunity to turn her away if she felt she should. Elsa knew how much asking her to help had taxed Honeymaren already. She didn't want to burden her thoughts further by continuing to pitch in.

Pouting, Honeymaren's hand caught against the collar of the flannel. "Stay…" she softly demanded. "-please… Shower and I'll find you more clothes to steal."

"Hey, don't fault me for wearing your clothes when we both know you get just as much enjoyment from it as I do…"

She slid away from her, flashing Honeymaren a smirk. Elsa departed to the bathroom. She wouldn't say it allowed for fear she'd hurt Honeymaren's feelings, but she was eager to rid herself of the stench. She hadn't batted an eye when Ryder threw up on her. She knew it was beyond his control, but that did not mean she'd like for it to ever happen again.

When she left the bath in only a towel a half hour later, Elsa found Honeymaren lounging on the bed. Ryder was belly down at the center. His thumb had wedged between his lips as he slept. Elsa softly smiled at him before slipping the sweatshirt Honeymaren had left out for her, over the towel. She let it fall to her feet. Wringing out her hair, she bent over and replaced the towel on the door knob. When she turned around, Honeymaren still intently watched her. Brown eyes followed Elsa into the leggings and onto the bed beside them.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Elsa propped up on her elbow.

Honeymaren did the same. Her expression remained pensive. "I'm not sure I should say…"

Slightly frowning, Elsa dropped her eyes to Ryder. Her hand tentatively reached out to stoke his back.

"You're insane! Did you know that?" she teased. "You're sitting there believing you must have done something wrong, but that's so far from what I was thinking, it's not even funny!"

Elsa's brow arched as her attention returned. " Go on and tell me, then."

Honeymaren exhaled slowly. "Okay… but if I do, you can't go getting weird on me, alright?"

Unable to hide her skepticism, Elsa merely stared. Honeymaren had moved from pensive to anxious so quickly, it had Elsa's head reeling.

"You do understand how saying that would make me feel weird, right?"

Groaning, Honeymaren flopped onto her back. She closed her eyes and dragged a hand over her face. "This shouldn't be this complicated!"

"-then why are you making it?" Elsa teased.

Faster than she could blink, Honeymaren sat up. With her legs crossed, she turned to Elsa. Her expression was serious. Her hands balled into fists in her lap, and she stared hard at the mattress.

"You took care of Ryder for me today…" Honeymaren began without a breath. "Four days ago you confronted your ex who had put you through years of emotional abuse. I was so proud, and I don't think I just like you anymore, Elsa… I think I might be starting to love you…"

Elsa took a long, even breath and hummed. "Well, that's good…"

Hearing the nonchalant tone, Honeymaren's attention shot up from the bed.

Elsa was smiling. "I kind of realized I was feeling the same way a few days ago…"

Eyes wide, Honeymaren blinked. "Oh…"

"Yeah…" Elsa shrugged. Her lips pursed. "I wasn't certain you were ready to hear it yet, either…"

Honeymaren couldn't fight the laugh that barreled out from her throat. "And here I thought you would take off running on me..."

"Had I said it first... I might have."

She shook her head. Elsa still lay on her side across from her, but all Honeymaren could bring herself to do was smile. Wet ringlets of blonde pooled over Elsa's shoulders. Her face was tinged red, however if that was from the conversation or the hot shower; Honeymaren didn't know.

"You love me?" she asked ridiculously.

Elsa looked down at Ryder. Her hand soothed over his back. "I love both of you… You're a package deal."

"Well…" Honeymaren sang evenly, finding her voice. "We've loved having you join our little package deal."

Turning her head, Elsa smiled at her. "I'm glad."

Cheers,

M.

A/N: Pulling my foot off the break, people. It's full speed ahead from here on out. BUCKLE UP.