Cold Secrets

-M. Lauren

Chapter Twenty-Five

Clothing littered the floor. Dresses had been pulled from their hangers. Shoes and shirts lay in a trail, leading across the room to Anna's feet. With her brow low, she kicked the pile and dropped to the foot of the bed. Groaning, she fell back. Kristoff was there and watching from his spot in the doorway.

Her hand covered her face and she sighed. Nodding to himself, his shoulders squared. He stepped toward the bed and sat beside her.

Anna shot up. Her finger extended. "No! No more, "I told you so"! Please, it's not the time!"

"I wasn't going to say anything!" Kristoff's hands raised in surrender.

"Fine," she grumbled. "-then you can stay, I guess."

"In my own room? How thoughtful of you," he teased, and Anna back-handed his chest. "Come on! I was kidding!"

"I know… I'm just…" She looked away.

Kristoff soothed a hand over her hair. "-missing your sister… I get it."

She shook her head, turning to him slowly. "It's more than that. Yeah, I miss her, but I can't get her voice from last night out of my head! I didn't just hurt Elsa… I think… I think I broke her…"

Kristoff drew in a long breath before taking Anna under his arm. "Elsa's not broken. People aren't things. They don't break. Sometimes, though, they need a little extra love to get moving again."

"-but can't you see," her head tilted against his shoulder. "That's all I was trying to do: give her that extra love! I wasn't looking to fix Elsa or change her… I wanted her to see that other people could love her like I do... I wanted her to want more for her life."

"I know what you were hoping to do, but Elsa was never going to see it that way. Because believe it or not, she was happy with her life before Maren walked into it. Elsa was comfortable and content-"

"She was complacent!"

Kristoff playfully rolled his eyes. "That's how you see it… but in Elsa's own mind, you and our family… that was enough for her."

Pulling back, Anna's frown deepened. "She deserves more than just us!"

"Of course she does," Kristoff agreed. "-but think about it this way… Elsa needs to come to that conclusion on her own; that's the only way she's ever going to believe she deserves it."

Her attention dropped to the mattress. Anna hid her hands in her lap. "She said to me yesterday, she thought she did it herself… now Elsa thinks that I made Maren fall in love with her."

Kristoff reached for her again, his hand stroking her cheek until her eyes returned. "We both know that isn't true… but unfortunately, only Maren can defend the sincerity of her feelings for Elsa."

Anna nodded dejectedly. "I know, and I messed that part up, too. I hurt both of them by getting involved, and now Maren wants nothing to do with any of us either!"

"Well, Maren's an adult," Kristoff's fingers moved to take his wife's hand instead. "She knows what part she played in all this, just like you do, and besides; I've known the Nattura family a lot longer than you have. They're stubborn, just like Arens... I have a feeling she'll be back and trying to set things right just as soon as she can focus on it again."

She allowed her head to fall to his chest. "I really hope you're right, because I think at this point she's the only one who can fix all the damage I've done..."

"Hey," his hand soothed across Anna's back. "Don't give up on Elsa either. Once she's calmed down a bit and the shock has worn off, I'm positive the two of you will learn to talk like sisters again."

Anna didn't say anything. Her nose buried further into Kristoff's shirt. Her arms wrapped around his chest and she dragged herself closer.

"Speaking of," he continued. "Do you think Elsa will show up today?"

Shrugging, she drew back. "I don't know, but I can't exactly say I'd blame her if she didn't…"

"We'll have to wait and see, then." Kristoff kissed her head. "Now, get moving and put some clothes on! My parents will be here soon."

She stood before the door. Her heart beat painfully in her throat. Elsa had battled with herself for ages just to get to this very spot. She'd waited for the nerve to get in her car. She'd struggled to walk to the door. Now, she stood before her sister's house and hoped she'd dredge up the courage to walk inside.

Truthfully, she had no desire to be there. It wasn't until Thanksgiving morning arrived that Elsa realized she had nowhere else to go. The idea of spending the holiday alone was depressing, even under these unusual circumstances.

She wasn't doing it for her sister, though. She reminded herself of that again.

Elsa was here for her niece, and she was here for herself, and she'd make certain Anna knew that.

Reeling in a final breath, she pushed open the front door. There was no one in the living room to greet her, but the chatter echoing from beyond the hall told her where everyone was. Elsa kicked off her heels and pulled her back straight. With her teeth grit, she started forward.

It was now or never, in her mind.

Anna was on her feet the second her sister rounded the corner.

"Elsa!" She exclaimed, her hands wringing at her waist. "You're here! I didn't hear you come in…"

Millie's grandparents, dubbed Bulda and Pabbie by Millie, were pushing themselves up from the table to stand. Elsa made her way to them first. She loved Kristoff's parents in the way she imagined she would love her own parents if they were still alive. They treated her like family; in one as small as hers, that felt like a gift.

"You look wonderful as always, dear." Bulda accepted her hug.

"Hopefully you don't walk around campus in that skirt of yours. We wouldn't want you giving those freshmen the wrong idea-" Pabbie winced as his wife smacked his arm.

"Relax, Dad. There's nothing wrong with Elsa's skirt..." Kristoff approached from the counter where both he and Anna were preparing food.

"She knows I'm teasing her!" Pabbie chuckled.

Elsa smiled, shaking her head at him before Kristoff stepped in for a hug.

"Can I get you anything?" He asked, pulling back to see her face.

Shrugging, her lips drew to the side. "Water, maybe- and where's Millie?"

Millie would be her saving grace.

"Water, you've got it," he dutifully nodded.

"She's upstairs napping, and no worries!" Anna shouted from across the room. "I've got her water!"

She scrambled quickly to find a glass. Once it was filled, she rushed it over to them and extended the glass for Elsa to take. For a moment, Elsa simply stared at it. She sighed before taking it into her hand.

"Bulda's right, by the way. You do look nice!"

Elsa stepped back so Kristoff stood between her and Anna. She took a slow sip of her water, "Thanks."

"Is it a new outfit?" Anna continued to pry.

"Something like that…" Elsa turned from them. She moved to the table and asked Bulda and Pabbie to fill her in on their week.

Anna pouted as she looked at Kristoff. His hands lifted and he shrugged before ushering her back over to the counter.

As Elsa talked with Kristoff's parents, she tried to remain attentive. Though truth be told, it was hard being there pretending everything was alright when she was barely holding it together.

It was even harder than she had allowed herself to anticipate beforehand.

And her outfit was new.

Elsa bought it with the idea in mind that she might be spending the holiday with Maren's family as well as her outfit was nothing scandalous like Pabbie let on. Elsa had selected a modest white sweater and black circle skirt. Maren would have loved the just-right amount of leg showing, and the neckline on the shirt was high enough to keep Elsa feeling comfortable.

But everything was wrong now. Her hair was up instead of down. She'd foregone makeup and left her face bare. There was no one here Elsa hoped to impress with her appearance; with that thought, her sadness crept back in.

By the time Millie's unmistakable cry sounded through the monitor, Elsa was already itching to get away.

"I've got her!" She quickly announced.

As she stood and crossed the room, Elsa felt the many eyes on her back. It was safe to assume Kristoff's parents knew very little about what was going on. However, she couldn't help but want to maintain the appearance of normalcy. In doing so, Elsa shrugged off the feeling of being watched before ascending the stairs.

Millie's room was located at the top of the steps. Her door was painted white with a bright green 'M'. Elsa found herself surprisingly eager to see her niece. As she entered the small bedroom, she was smiling. Millie's pudgy hands greeted her in the air and she made the bold move of trying to climb out of her crib on her own.

"No you don't!" Elsa snatched her from the bed.

Millie giggled and accepted her aunt's unusually tight hug.

Elsa found a blue party dress waiting out on the changing table. She hoisted Millie onto the cushion and freed her from the pajamas. As she pulled the dress over her head, Elsa looked up. Her eyes caught the side wall. Her hands froze against the fabric, and Millie was left to try and push her own head through the tiny hole.

Only when she whined, did Elsa remember Millie and her dress. She placed the toddler on the floor to sit at her feet; Millie stared up at her aunt intently. Elsa hadn't moved. Her blue eyes were fixed to a spot on the wall she couldn't bring herself to turn away from.

Everything in that moment came full circle, and Elsa began to cry.

A sob broke past her lips and her legs began to shake. Afraid her knees would give out, she lowered to the carpet. Elsa's hand covered her mouth and her tear-filled eyes returned to the painted walls.

Over the summer Anna had worked tirelessly for a week straight, designing the mural in Millie's bedroom. There were trails of green vines and flowering bushes. Butterfly gardens were supposed to be the inspiration, but Elsa saw right through that now.

From the willow trees to the patterns of blue sky on the ceiling- it was Ryder's mural that had given life to this one. Anna had been inspired by Honeymaren, of all people, to paint the scene before her; one which Elsa had seen a hundred times before.

Her tears were cut short as the door pushed open. Seeing Anna standing there, Elsa's cheeks flushed. She fumbled, pressing her hands into the carpet as she tried to stand.

"Hey, what's going on," Anna soothed. She moved to help her sister up, but Elsa was already on her feet and holding her distance.

"Please, not now!" She brushed hot tears from her cheeks.

Anna crossed the room. "The baby monitor…" She turned it off before facing Elsa once again.

"Oh…" Elsa's cheeks rapidly darkened.

"No one heard anything... I turned it down before they could."

Elsa watched Anna scoop Millie from the floor, not believing a word she said. Elsa had no plans to listen to anything further. She spun on her heels and her hand went to the door.

"Elsa, please! Wait!" Anna stopped her. "We can't go on like this!"

She pressed her palm flat to the door. "I don't have anything I want to say to you."

"Yes, you do." Anna fought, stepping closer. "I think you have a lot you want to say to me."

When Elsa wouldn't turn, but hadn't tried leaving again either, Anna took another step. She continued until her hand lightly covered Elsa's shoulder. Slowly, she turned Elsa around and stepped back with her head tilted.

"If you're angry with me, be angry. If you're sad or frustrated or hurt, be all of those things! Stop holding them in and letting them eat at you. If you want to yell at me, go ahead and yell!"

Tentatively, Elsa's head lifted. Her eyes rose as tears continued down her cheeks. She shook her head, "I don't have the energy for this, Anna."

"-but you have the energy to clean and completely reorganize your house?" she dryly asked.

Elsa frowned. Her arms crossed. "This isn't the right time."

"No," Anna leveled. "I think this is the perfect time. Today is a day to give thanks for all you have, and I am so grateful that you still decided to come despite everything else."

"I didn't come for you," she quipped shortly.

"- and I don't care… I got to see my sister and that's all that matters to me."

Elsa looked away and her grip on her arms tightened. "Why did you do it? Why couldn't you leave well-enough alone?"

Anna sighed, sitting with Millie in the corner rocking chair. "Because I can be really, really stupid sometimes... but I promise I meant well..."

Biting her lip, Elsa didn't respond.

After a moment, Anna's voice surfaced again. "Can I ask you something? I know I don't really have the right… but I need to know so I can fix this."

"You don't have the right," her head shook and her shoulders slumped. "-but I really don't have it in me to stop you…"

She watched Elsa sit with her back to the door. Anna sighed, "What in those messages made you react this way?"

Brow furrowing, her eyes locked on Anna's. "What do you mean? Nothing I saw felt good, Anna..."

"I know… I know. I just meant- I want to try and explain…"

She pulled her knees against her chest. Her head turned and faced the wall. "Explain why you picked us? Why Maren and I? You told her I liked coffee… I thought…" Elsa's nose buried into her skirt. "Before… she said I was unapproachable…"

When Elsa's tears began again, Anna shifted in her chair as though she longed to comfort her. Instead, she stayed seated, lines creasing her forehead.

"I told Maren you worked at the school. She thought it was ironic that you chose to hide from your students in the library of all places…" Anna began, the slightest smile tugging at her lips. "I told her she should stop creeping on you and just say, 'hi'... But Maren thought you'd find that awkward… So, I suggested coffee- and that's where my long list of stupid and unethical stunts begins… But I think, by that point, I had already started to feel like Maren was more my friend than my client. When I told my supervisor that, he said it was because we were so close in age.

"He said things like that happen, but I shouldn't worry too much about it; there were no issues with you and Maren working together, so long as I didn't bring up the case…. But I guess that had me feeling a little too comfortable with everything…. When Maren became interested in you, I let myself believe she was really just my friend."

Elsa shook her head to stop the monologue. "-but you knew she asked me out on that first day... I turned her down, and you knew what she'd said to make me say yes! I saw the note, Anna! You knew about it before you were even home from California. You helped choose those words! Those were your words! You guilted me into agreeing to go. You both manipulated me... and you were so concerned with the professional ethics of it, but you never stopped to think about your commitment to me as your sister!"

Anna set Millie on her feet before moving to kneel in front of Elsa. "It was my commitment to my sister that had me acting so dumb… Elsa, you said I didn't like you the way you were, but that was never the truth! I love you just as you are, in whatever way I get you, because you mean the world to me… I just wanted you to see that you deserved so much more than what you allowed yourself to have!"

"-but did I deserve this? Did I deserve all the lies, and the secrets you both kept from me?" Elsa's back pressed further into the door.

"No, of course not!" Anna's voice broke as she began to cry. "I- We planned to tell you everything after the trial! Believe me, Elsa! When things started to change between the two of you, I tried to back off-"

"You bet against me!" Elsa's tears coursed down harder. "That date, the bet with Maren's mom! You were betting against me going…"

Anna's hand brushed across Elsa's cheeks. She ignored her protests when she tried to flinch away. "Oh, Elsa… that was a joke… and a terrible one when seen out of context in those messages… But I said that because... I know you! No one was more surprised or thrilled when you decided to say yes!"

"It hurts! You lied and kept this from me, and it hurts!"

She took Elsa into her arms. Anna's head hugged against hers. "I know, and I'm so sorry… I wish I could take it all back, but I can't…"

"I was a game to her, Anna… Maren only liked me because she wanted to win…"

"Now, that's not true," her hand soothed over Elsa's back. "I don't believe that, and I won't, and you shouldn't either!"

"She said, in her messages- Maren said she beat the odds… Was I that closed off? Unapproachable… Did no one think-" Tears welled in her throat, stopping her words short.

"Elsa, no. You make it so easy to love you! Anyone, and especially Maren, can see that."

Anything else to be said was startled silent as the door opened up behind them. Both sisters fell to the floor, huddled together at Kristoff's feet. He looked down at them, perplexed.

His head tilted, "Uh… dinner's ready?"

They were silent for a long moment until Elsa laughed first, and then Anna joined in, too.

"Okay," she brushed the tears from her face. "We'll both be down in a minute…"

Millie quickly scrambled over them as she made her exit. Kristoff lifted her to his hip. "Don't worry, daddy will save you from these two crazies..."

Anna playfully punched his leg as he walked by. When she turned, Elsa was already standing. Anna looked up at her with brows pinched and her lips drawn to the side. Then Elsa surprised her by holding out her hand. Anna accepted it and was pulled back to her feet.

They stood there facing each other. Neither said a word. Elsa was looking at the ground while Anna fidgeted with her hands.

"Listen…" She started, her attention slowly lifting. "I am so sorry, Elsa… about all of it. I never meant for it to turn out this way, or any way really. I just wanted you to see that you deserved to be loved by other people in the same way that I love you."

Releasing a sigh, Elsa met her sister's eyes. "I appreciate that you care about me, I really do… But you needed to let me find love on my own. I need to make my own friends, and start my own relationships… That's the only way I can trust that they're really mine."

Anna bit her lip. She tentatively nodded. "I'm sorry I got involved, and that you were hurt by what I did… but I still stand by what I said before… What you had with Maren, it wasn't a game. There is genuine love there... You shouldn't let me be the reason it all gets thrown away."

The softness Elsa's tears created in her expression was shaken away. Her back straightened and her chin tipped. "You won't be the reason, Anna. You don't need to worry about that."

"-but for now," she continued, her eyes fighting to hold Elsa's stare. "Are we going to be okay?"

Her teeth worried against her inner cheek and she gave a short nod. "I hope so."

After a few more hours of food and lighter conversation, Elsa finally returned home. She was emotionally drained. Her body hurt, and she wasn't exactly certain why. When she entered the living room, she fell straight onto her back against the couch. Somehow it felt like all her tension was falling away with her.

Things between her and Anna were better now. They weren't perfect, but the long road to recovery had started. Elsa felt better knowing her sister heard her out. What Anna had done was wrong; yet per usual, she did it because she cared.

Elsa was ready to fall asleep right then and there until something vibrated above her. She turned her head to look up. Her body followed. There, her cell phone sat neglected on the end table; the many unanswered notifications blinked on its screen. With a sigh, she took her phone. She scrolled across the screen until she saw one she couldn't ignore.

Her hands shook. Elsa's fingers suspended over the notification- A voicemail from Honeymaren Nattura.

She shouldn't listen, but she wanted to.

Before she could debate it any further, Elsa selected 'play'.

Her heart hit her ribs at the sound of Honeymaren's voice, "Hey, it's me… I know I have no right to ask you this, but I could really use a favor-"

Cheers,

-M.