DISCLAIMERS/NOTES
1. This is a fan fiction based on characters owned by the BBC. I DO NOT OWN THEM. This is just for fun.
2. This is a femslash story. If you don't like that sort of thing, you won't like this.
PART 8
The Doctor sat on the steps in the console room, staring out ahead of her… at nothing in particular. She had no idea the last time she moved. The tears had only just dried.
A sound, almost like a soothing sigh, filled the room.
"Leave me alone," the Doctor spat out bitterly.
A moment's pause - then more noises, quiet beeps.
"There's nothin' t'say," came the tired reply. "What could there possibly be to say?"
A whirr.
"I don't have to do anything," said the Time Lady. "I can just sit here for as long as I like. Infact, I might not move off this step for a century or two. Got nothin' better t'do now, after all. It's not like I have a… a… " She trailed off and closed her eyes, gulping down a choke. "An event t'go to," she eventually continued. "Like a wedd… " Again she stopped, unable to finish.
A familiar hatch popped open on the console, revealing a packet of cream crackers.
The Doctor sighed tiredly. "From what I understand, it's supposed t'be ice cream."
The TARDIS remained silent.
The Gallifreyan ran a hand through her hair and cleared her throat. "It's… good that it's happened now, really. Best get it over with, before I got too deep in. Before I completely lost my marbles… " Once more she took a moment. "And it is for the best. Now Yaz can get back to a normal life, find someone who can really take care of her and make her happy… and… and… " She closed her eyes tightly and bit her lip, trying desperately to stop the chaos within her breaking free.
The time machine made more soft sounds, not wanting to push her thief too hard.
"No, no. I'll be fine. Really. Y'know me, I'm always… " Despite the innocuous words, it was those which finally broke the dam: the Doctor's face gradually cracked and she ducked her head down, unable to stem the fresh flow of tears. A pained sob escaped her, and she began weeping openly.
She could not recall when she last felt this bad; it was hardly the first time a companion left, or she lost someone… but then, Yasmin Khan was not just someone. She was the first person in a millennia the alien felt she could share her life with. As amazing as it seemed, the Doctor's feelings for the Human policewoman were more than she ever felt about anyone… even River.
Indeed, the Doctor knew from the beginning their time would be short, destined to be bittersweet. But Yaz… everything just seemed to fit. It felt so right. Like it was their destiny to be truly together, to have their love echo through the universe for all time. Surely, after all the pain and loss, the Doctor found true love… the one.
Of course, she was wrong. Destiny, as always, seemed to dictate the Doctor be alone. If only she learnt that truth before it was too late. Before she fell in love more profoundly than she ever thought possible. Because for all her words about love's strength, even she was amazed at the feelings Yaz gave her.
But it was not to be.
It took several minutes for her body to stop shaking. The TARDIS tried comforting the Doctor by sending out a telepathic hug, but it was to no avail: nothing could sooth the wound in the woman's soul.
Eventually, there was a lull in the crying. Wordlessly, the Doctor reached into her coat pocket and took out a small object. Holding it infront of her, she stared at it in numbing clarity, tears still trickling down.
It had taken ages to make the engagement ring. It was composed from various elements, some even the Doctor was not 100% sure of their origin. But it was of the most beautiful design the Time Lady could think of, full of little, delicate details of special significance to Yaz. If everything went to plan, she would be wearing it right now, as the Doctor intended to propose when her beloved returned from work. That was why she told Yaz's family everything today, so Hakim and Najia knew just who exactly her daughter was marrying when they said yes to the alien's request.
The Doctor tutted in self-disgust. When. She really was as arrogant as some thought.
The time machine made some questioning sounds.
"Not a thing," the Doctor mumbled. "It doesn't matter, anyway. I'll be fine. I always am." The words were spoken almost robotically. "Just give me some time, and I'll be… be… over… " And with that, she again broke down, her body trembling as she threw the ring away; for it was no longer a symbol of the love of her life, but rather, a mocking reminder of what - who she could never have.
The ring tinkled as it hit the floor and was lost in the dark edges of the control room, but it was drowned out by the latest cries of anguish from a broken woman…
TO BE CONTINUED