DISCLAIMERS/NOTES

1. This is a fan fiction based on characters owned by the BBC. I DO NOT OWN THEM. This is just for fun.

2. This is a femslash story. If you don't like that sort of thing, you won't like this.

PART 11

The lights were dim in the console room as a figure shuffled in. Even in the relative darkness, her unkept state was obvious. But as she had been for the past three months - relative time, of course - there was no one around to see the Doctor.

Well, not completely. Indeed, she was never truly alone… and the sounds soon filling the room let her know.

She looked up tiredly, still munching away on her custard creams. If it was not for her Gallifreyan metabolism, she would have put on a stone or three from the amount of biscuits she consumed since… it happened.

She frowned. "Why'd I come in here again?" It was a rhetorical question, but she never could keep quiet for long, even now. "Oh. That's right. Exercise. Stretch my legs. Get ou… " The Doctor's voice drifted, and she let out a sigh.

She had been like this ever since it. The Doctor used to be utterly bewildered about Human relationships, especially breakups: if it happened, despite the alien's true belief in the strength of love, surely the emotional wrecks people would get into were a tad melodramatic.

But no. The Time Lady now knew exactly how it could happen… because she was going through it right now. She had been like a zombie ever since she ended things with Yaz. The TARDIS did not go anywhere anymore; they had been drifting in the vortex for weeks. The Doctor stopped dressing - she had been in pyjamas so long the blue box was grateful for she could turn her olfactory sensors off, and the usual rainbow tops, short-legged trousers and grey coat lay somewhere gathering dust. The sonic was unused, staying in its socket on the console, fully charged. The regular visits to the Oswald-Ponds ceased, the Doctor unable to bear the family's incredulity of her letting Yaz slip through her grasp.

The alien's hair was a mess, and she was sure her ear was still glowing from regenerative energy: in a particularly explosive tantrum, she ripped out her earring and threw it aside. It was probably lurking somewhere in the depths of the TARDIS… along with the irrelevant engagement ring. But none of that mattered anymore. Nothing mattered, except the Doctor and her shattered hearts.

She had been like this for months, seeing no end in sight. And she hated every single second. How did people get through this? When would the agony end? In her more cynical moments - which were becoming more and more frequent - the Time Lady almost turned her back on the concept of love, if this was the result of it going wrong. Nothing could be worse than this pain.

And considering how much the Doctor suffered and lost in her many lives… that was some accomplishment.

The TARDIS tried helping on occasion. Suggesting unusual, unexplored planets on her display screens, replaying fond memories, and even resorting to reminding her Yaz was hardly the first person she lost. Anything to get the Doctor out of her funk. Nothing did. All drive had left the Time Lady. She now felt unbearably empty. What was the point of exploring, of having adventures, of living if it was without the one person, in an entire, many-millennia lifetime, you found true, uncomplicated, passionate, unquestionable love with?

Once more, the TARDIS tried reaching out. The Doctor simply chuckled morbidly. "Don't start. I'm really not in the mood." Bleeps and bloops. "I don't know. I don't care. Why, are you bored?" She was becoming passive-aggressive, and not for the first time. "Maybe this is my latest adventure, huh? New experience and all that. I've never really had to 'get over' anyone before. Not like this, anyway." She put another biscuit in her mouth and crunched it with more force than necessary. "Maybe I'll indulge myself. Y'know how bigheaded I am. After all, only a bighead would just assume that their girlfriend's parents would be fiiiiiiine if she married an alien who constantly puts their daughter in danger!"

At the resulted whirr, the Doctor rubbed her temple. "Yes, I know you tried t'warn me! Is that what this is now?! Everythin' else has failed t'get through t'me, so now you're gonna try 'I told you so'?! How dare you?!" She violently threw her packet of biscuits toward the centre console. "Rassilon take you!"

There were a few tense moments, until the Doctor's face softened from the deep scowl it creased into. All the anger left her, and the emptiness resumed. "I'm sorry… " she breathed. "I didn't mean that… " She closed her eyes and bit her lip. "It's just… I miss her so much… so… " With that, she finally broke down and burst into tears. Holding her head in both hands, she sank to the floor on her knees, weeping loudly.

The Doctor used to think only the end of the universe could bring such grief out of her. But while this was not the end of the universe, it felt like the end of hers…

TO BE CONTINUED