The next morning, Carrie had woken up by herself. The side that Jax had slept on was empty and it had been for a while, the cold sheets and pillow were evidence to that.
She sighed, turning over onto her back while staring at the ceiling, mulling over everything that had happened. Hoping that they would be able to find Abel, healthy and well.
Maybe it was the fact that she had looked after him while in the hospital or maybe a mix of hormones/maternal instincts kicking in. Could be a mix of everything swirling around like her emotions were, but one thing was for sure she'd do anything she could to ensure Abel's return.
She wouldn't give up, she couldn't, at least not until Abel was back. Carrie just hoped that Jax wouldn't lose himself in the process.
"You hear anything?"
Opie shook his head, before sighing. "Cameron's gone off the grid, but we've made some calls. Now it's just time to wait if we hear anything back for any kind of lead. While we continue the search."
"How's Jax?" Carrie questioned, concerned because he had holed himself up into his room at the clubhouse and hadn't been seen or heard from. It had been a week since Abel's kidnapping and he had yet to snap out of his stupor and that's what had her worried and wondering if he was still alive.
"They let them back in the house today, but I figure he's doing the same thing he did before," Opie shrugged, shaking his head. "Drinking and smoking the day away."
"He's depressed Opie," Carrie informed, biting her lip. "Maybe I should go over there? Check on him, make sure he's good."
"No, I'll go by there, but first I got to make a stop by the clubhouse," Opie stated. "See if they've found any leads and I'm sure the guys will want to go too. Besides, Tara is over there, the last thing he needs is you two facing off with each other."
Carrie rolled her eyes, clenching her jaw. "I won't do anything, I just want to make sure he's good."
Opie shook his head, not believing her. "I'll let you know, besides you don't need to be worrying or stressing out. Seeing him in whatever state he's in, is going to cause that."
Carrie reluctantly nodded, before watching him leave. Feeling helpless, that they didn't have any clue where Cameron was and because of that they weren't any closer to finding Abel.
"I think you blame me," Tara admitted leaning on the dresser besides Jax.
The guys had come in and managed to finally break him out of his stupor, by saying they had found a lead on Cameron's possible whereabouts. They'd been able to get him out of the nursery and into the shower. Jax had changed into some clean clothes and resembled his old self.
Not the lost and broken man he was, granted he wasn't back to his normal self and he wouldn't be until Abel was back in his arms. But at least he wasn't mindlessly staring ahead drinking and smoking the days aways. Falling into the same downward spiral he had ten years ago, when Tara had left.
Jax shook his head, not looking at her, as he looked at Abel's nursery floor. "This has nothing to do with you," he finally spoke up, after a couple of seconds of silence."None of it does. It never did."
"None of it?" Tara softly questioned, her brow furrowing in disbelief.
"I'm sorry this happened. I had no right asking you for this." Jax stated, ignoring her previous question. The kidnapping had been eye opening for him, it showed him that she wasn't cut out for this life. She wasn't to blame, she'd had no choice but to comply to Cameron since he held her at gun point after stabbing Half Sack. But a part of him wished she'd tried harder.
"Asking me for what?"
"Wanting you to stay. Be a part of what I am." Jax answered, shaking his head before looking up at her. "I didn't think it through. I obviously do that type of shit, not think what it might do to other people. Not until it's too late anyways."
"I'm not other people," Tara argued in disbelief at what Jax is saying. "I'm your old lady Jax."
"You should have gone back to Chicago after Kohn was taken care of." Jax states shaking his head. Ignoring her last statement. "When you told me you'd called the hospital and they were willing to take you back, that should have been the end."
Even though he hadn't said it aloud, until now, it was something he had been thinking to himself for a while now. He should have just helped Tara deal with Kohn and then left after. He shouldn't have slept with her and started this all over again. Maybe if he had done things differently none of this would have been happening.
"You're not making any sense." Tara watched him for some kind of sign, that would help her understand. Wondering where all this was coming from when he'd made it seem like they were doing great.
"This has to be the end," Jax stated, voicing his inner thoughts out loud. "You have to get out of Charming. Away from me and the club. Away from all of this, go live that normal, perfect life you've always wanted."
"Jax you can't expect-"
"Just," Jax sighed, cutting her off. Pausing, trying to get his thoughts together. "Tara. Please don't complicate it. It's simple, you don't belong here. You never did, but we were both too blinded to see that."
"I don't belong here?" Tara scoffed, shaking her head. "But Carrie does?"
"Carrie is Piney's daughter and Opie's sister. That alone makes her a part of this, whether she grew up around the club or not. It doesn't matter, because this life runs through her veins. Just as much as it does through me and Opie." Jax states looking at her.
Knowing that Tara was looking for a fight, but not having the energy to give her one. Jax turned to walk out the room. Not wanting to stick around for the fight, that he knew had been in the works for a while now. Tara wasn't one to give up when she felt entitled to something and that was one of the drawbacks of being with her. She just didn't know when to stop and let it go.
"We both know why you really want to end this. It's because of her," Tara angrily says turning to face his back.
"This isn't about Carrie or me blaming you for what happened." Jax firmly explains. "It's simply about you not belonging in my world. You never did and you never will, because deep down you'll never accept this life."
"She's having a baby, that may not even be yours," Tara called out following him into the hall. "Are you really willing to give up on your family for that?"
Jax paused, before turning around. "Whether I choose to be with he or not, that's my choice," Jax stated shaking his head, before looking her directly in the eye. "And if I chose her, I'd be choosing my family because that baby she's carrying, is mine."
Tara stood frozen to her spot, staring at his back as he finished walking towards the door. Hearing the motorcycle engine roar as he drove off, caused her to snap out of it. Making her way back into Abel's room, she leaned against the changing table. Letting her emotions swirl around inside her, feeling the tears well up, a sob escaped before feeling the rage build up.
Pushing to be let out, she let it consume her, as she pushed the items on the shelf onto the floor. Taking her anger out by throwing stuff around the room, slowly destroying everything in her path before snapping her self out of it. Seeing the destruction she had caused, she allowed herself to break down and cry. Before picking herself up and calming down, knowing she had to go talk to the feds about the events that had happened.
But one thing was for sure, Tara wasn't going to give up, she'd already done it ten years ago and she wouldn't let him push her away so easily. Not when she had everything to lose.
After not getting any leads, on what could have given them a clue as to where Cameron could have taken Abel, Jax found himself at the cemetery. The only place where he could let everything he was feeling out without someone feeling bad or taking pity on him. No one to judge him for breaking down or for getting lost in what felt like his world had been torn apart.
It was only him and his father's grave, the man who had lost his son before losing his life. His father had felt the hurt of losing a child, granted their situations were different because his younger brother had passed away. While Abel had been taken but they had both lost their way.
On his way back to his bike, he saw the black van Piney seemed to be driving now a days, before the old man came around it.
"So, how's the old man?" Piney gruffly asked.
"Still dead," Jax answered, coming to a stop in front of him.
Piney nodded, "You know, I hear that happens."
"What are you doing? Cruising for widows." Jax teased, with a small upturn of his lips.
"You know, I miss him. I really do, I always wonder how things would be if he had lived," Piney admitted before before motioning over his shoulder. "I came to finalize everything for Half Sack."
Jax nodded, while getting ready to leave. Turning back around to face Piney, after he felt the old man tap him on his back.
"You want to bounce something off of me? I'm not as smart as JT, the advice might not be that great, but I've been known to have my moments." Piney said offering to hear Jax out.
"I'm good," Jax stated, squeezing Piney's arm in thanks and reassurance.
"Jax," Piney called out causing him to stop and turn around. "We don't have shrinks or priests to help us deal with our demons. You don't have to talk to me and that's fine. But you have to talk to somebody in this club and work this shit out."
Piney sighed. "If you don't want to talk about it, it's fine but at least call Carrie. Let her know you're alive, she's been worrying about you ever since it happened."
Jax didn't say anything, but he nodded in agreement. Instead, he walked over to his bike and sat down, while Piney chose to lean against the van. Silently waiting for the younger version of his best friend to speak up about what was on his mind.
"I've been trying to find some kind of balance Piney. For my family, the club, trying to make everything fit together. Every time I think I've found it, I end up in a place I never knew could feel this bad," Jax said after a couple of moments of silence as he gathered his thoughts.
"What did I do man, for me to get punished this way?" Jax tried to hold back the tears welling in his eyes.
Piney sighed, his heart going out to the young man in front of him. "Look, you're loyal. You're a decent guy. You love the right things and that's how he was," Piney says motioning towards JT's gravestone. "Shitty things tend to happen to good people, but it's how you overcome them that matters. You're hurting I get that, but don't forget that your boy is still out there. We just need to find and bring him home."
Jax was just finishing cleaning up the mess Tara had made in Abel's nursery when she walked in. He briefly paused in his cleaning, to look at her, before bending down to pick up some closed packs of diapers.
"I'll finish up," Tara said bending down to pick up what was lying on the floor.
"I got it," Jax took the wooden toys from her. Not in the mood to deal with her at the moment. "You should go."
"No. You know I didn't come back to Charming to run away from Kohn and I didn't stay because of what we did to him." She informed him still kneeling on the floor. Looking up at him determined to make him change his mind.
"It doesn't matter now."
"When Donna was shot. Those things you said to me at the hospital, about my life being a series of hit and runs. That you saw this as our second chance to do it all right," she said standing up.
"I shouldn't have said that shit," Jax said raising his voice. Knowing it was a mistake because he should have let her go. Should have taken it as closure and moved on, but he hadn't. He had been holding onto a past, that had long since died and been buried.
"It was the truth," Tara raised her voice and threw the nearest object at him, which turned out to be a stuffed rabbit. "I have created this very serious life for myself and when I'm inside it, I barely know myself. I have these moments sometimes, in the middle of a surgery, when I'm aware of my hands doing extraordinary things and I'm like what am I doing? When I'm with you, I never ask that question."
"I'm not the answer. Look at me look at this." Jax motioned around them. "All thats happened so far has been hit after hit. There's been nothing but trouble since we started this back up."
"I'm always looking at it. My brain never stops. Why am I here? Should I be here? Should I stay? Should I go? Am I afraid to be a mother, shit, it's endless. You think I can't see that? I know we've been through a rough patch but we'll get through it. Together."
"None of that matters," Jax softly said.
"I know it doesn't, it's all become clear to me. The noise doesn't matter, we don't know who we are until we are connected to someone else," Tara explained, knowing that Jax wasn't thinking clearly but she'd get him to see it. "We're just better people, when we're with the person we're supposed to be with. I wasn't supposed to leave. I belong here. With you."
All the while, he was thinking that her words didn't matter anymore. They would have ten years ago, but they didn't matter anymore. Not when the person he wanted by his side was somewhere else. Something that had been his own doing because he had hurt her. Now it would be a a miracle if she ever gave him another chance.
Carrie looked around, noticing how many people had shown up for Kip's wake. There were patches from different states and even some army friends of Kip's, all milling around the front of the funeral home and inside as well. All wanting to pay respects to their fallen brother.
She had slowly started to make her way through the crowd when she spotted Jax and Tara arrive. As she made her way up the steps she kept hearing people say "Such a shame" or "He was brave for doing what he did."
Looking across the street, she stopped midway up the steps when she noticed David parked directly across from the funeral home. Before continuing her way into the funeral home.
Seeing this many Sons in one place, tended to make people wary and as a precaution Charming PD had been tasked with ensuring the crowd didn't get rowdy. Although, no one seemed to be looking for trouble, since a somber mood had settled over those attending.
Every one minding their own business, having silent conversations and catching up while being respectful of the occasion that had gathered everyone.
Inside she stood off to the side with Donna and the kids, as the club paid their respects. Her gaze falling onto the kutte draped over his casket. The same kutte he had worn before, now held his top and bottom rockers along with the reaper. Too bad he hadn't been able to witness it for himself.
Opie had told her how the club had voted on doing this for Kip. Since he had been so close into patching in. Him sacrificing his life had shown them that he deserved to be buried a fully patched in member.
She felt Donna softly nudge her and whisper for her to look at the entrance of the room.
Looking over her shoulder, she saw Jax and Tara make their way into the room. She stayed silent as she watched the scene unfold before her. Seeing Tara kneel in front of Kip's casket had her wondering if she was asking for forgiveness.
Since she hadn't tried to keep Abel safe or ensure that Kip made it. Granted she was at gun point but she could have tried to do something. Especially when Cameron had been distracted enough to stab Kip. Seeing her there, made her anger rush through her and it was taking all her strength to not pull her by the hair and drag her out.
Instead, she made her way out of the room and through the crowd. Until she was outside and taking deep breaths of fresh air in. Trying to contain and control her emotions, knowing this wasn't the time or place for a fight. Taking a few more calming breaths, feeling under control, she turned and made he way back in.
"How you holding up?" Donna questioned as they made their way down the funeral home steps.
"He didn't deserve to go like this. He survived being in a war, only for him to be stabbed and die." Carrie said stepping onto the sidewalk.
"I know but I meant about the little scene back there," Donna motioned watching the kids walk in front of them. "I thought I was going to have to get Opie to restrain you."
Carrie shrugged. "He probably would have too but I was able to manage," she answered, shaking her head. "I just don't understand how she can just walk around and not feel bad about what happened."
"She probably does but she's hiding it," Mackenzie added as she caught up with them. Having heard the last bit of the conversation. "She froze up in surgery today, I heard they had to call in another doctor to perform it. It was on a little boy about Abel's age."
Carrie sighed before looking in the direction where Tara and Jax were walking from. Feeling slightly bad but it still didn't make up for the fact that two innocents had been taken that day.
She heard Opie catch up with them, as he and Donna had a quiet conversation. Opie's arms wrapped protectively around her. Carrie knew this must have brought up the memory that they had almost been close to having a wake for Donna, not that long ago. Only had been lucky Donna and had survived. While Kip hadn't been as fortunate.
With the wake coming to an end, everyone had made their way out, but were still milling around in front of the funeral home and on the sidewalk. Carrie made sure to keep an eye on Kenny and Ellie, while looking around taking in the sight before her.
A slow moving van, caught her attention, as it turned onto the small street in front of them. Feeling her heart start to race as the kids were close and unprotected to the curb. She hadn't even noticed she had started to move or that Mackenzie had followed her. Her only instinct was to get to the kids and she had just reached them, when the doors slid open before bullets starting to rain on them.
Everyone diving down or trying to run for cover. Carrie had quickly grabbed onto Kenny while Mackenzie had grabbed onto Ellie, both covering the kids with their bodies. Hearing as the bullets flew overhead, while people screamed out. Before the squealing of tires was heard, what could have only been a few seconds, maybe a minute at most. Had seem to continue on for an eternity.
But once the commotion had settled down, everyone began to move again. Taking in those who had been hurt and looking for the ones responsible. Feeling arms yank her up as the ringing in her ears stopped, she pulled away and checked over Kenny making sure he wasn't hurt. Before Donna fussed over both her kids who were alright, if not a little shaken at what had happened.
Carrie felt as Opie looked over her as she tried to get her breathing under control. Glancing across the street and feeling her heart and breathing stop. David wasn't standing against his jeep but there was a pair of feet sticking out from in between his car and the one behind.
Not being able to look away as Unser and Jacob ran over, crowding around. Thinking the worst, until she saw them lift someone up. Letting out a breath, when they steadied David as he looked around, a little disoriented.
Turning back her attention to Opie, finally hearing him asking if she was alright. "I'm fine. Just a little shaken up." Carrie shakily said.
Opie looked towards Donna who nodded in answer to his silent question reassuring him that she and the kids were fine. Any other question, he might have had, was cut off when Jax started bashing one of the gunmen's face against the pavement.
It took both Opie and Bobby to pull him off and even then he was still struggling against them. Carrie turned to look at the still body on the pavement before making her way to a struggling Jax.
"Hey, breathe," Carrie said, placing her hands on his cheek, as Opie and Bobby held onto him. Slowly letting go, once he had stopped struggling and had gotten his breathing under control.
Jax finally looked away from the body on the floor, before looking into Carrie's concerned eyes. Quickly looking her over for any injury or sign she had been hurt. "I'm fine," she said, taking his hand and placing it on the slight curve of her belly. Holding her hand over his. "We're both fine."
Jax nodded as he sighed in relief before bringing her into his arms. Placing his cheek on top of her head, as her arms wrapped around his waist. Trying to calm his racing heart but being careful that both she and the baby were okay.
There is the next chapter. I hope you enjoyed and excuse any typos or mistakes.
Now we're onto the events of Season 3 and I've decided to continue that on here instead of doing the sequel and ending it in the last chapter. Like i had previously done for the original version. And yes if you read the sequel before, there are some scenes or dialogue from there but it was changed and adjusted to fit onto the new version.
Which if there's any followers of Love Ain't Always Easy. Just know that that story will be taken down and re written into the sequel. Same title just different storyline. Once this one has been completed. I will probably just take down the chapters or i might delete the whole thing and start over. Meaning that if it gets deleted the follows you had to know when it was updated will be deleted too.
But I haven't decided on it yet, just wanted to give you a heads up.
Anyways onto the recap lol.
There still wasn't a Carrie/Tara face off but it'll get there, eventually.
So Half Sack died but David lived. How are you guys feeling on that?
Jax trying to get Tara to understand it's over and her finding out about the baby's paternity.
What's going to happen next?
Let me know your theories/suggestions. I love reading them and seeing how excited you guys are for the next chapter. Makes me happy and wanting to write lol.
Anyways, what do you you think the baby will be? Boy or Girl?
Also, which actress do you guys use as a face claim, if you do, for Carrie? Or do you just imagine her in your head?
What about Mackenzie? Same question regarding face claims for her lol. And how are you feeling about her?
Let me know in the comments below, currently watching the show while planning and writing the next chapters.