As always, thanks for reading, and feel free to tell me what you think! Your comments are really helpful and help me fight the boredom...
And soon as you submit, surrender flesh and bone, that love takes on a life much bigger than your own.
It would happen that Luke invited all the couples over later that week for a game night and they met at the Senate building the next day. To say there was an awkward moment between Han and Leia was an understatement. They were polite but dismissive, not wanting to slip but struggling to be in the same vicinity as the other. He found his eyes drawn to her and luckily nobody noticed his intense stares. She had to physically force the muscles in her mouth to not smile when he spoke or made a clever comment. Other than the personal challenges, to any observer it looked like they were strangers and their friends took their coldness as civility.
After a week of barely seeing her husband, Leia had plenty of time to think through how things would proceed. They could easily continue in their professional capacity. The Hapes Consortium was now intricately linked with other republic controlled planets in trade and friendly alliances. She didn't think their split would cause a galaxy-wide schism. They would eventually have to make a formal announcement and split their assets. It wasn't a decision she took lightly, but she knew it was the right one. Her thoughts were never far away from Han and the life she wanted with him.
Han was equally as miserable. He shuffled on with his work, taking a four-day job and then returning home to an indifferent wife and two children who didn't seek his company. He wondered what Leia was doing, what she was thinking. He hated running into her with other people around. He longed to touch her, support her. His possessiveness took over. He was protective. He had to let her go once, but he was determined to never let her go again. He promised himself not to interfere with her decisions, but he hoped to gods he was an influence.
A week after returning to daily life, they saw each other, alone. Leia was attending the formal send-off of an ambassador near the Falcon's hanger. She slipped away from the delegation and found him hovering under his ship.
She couldn't stop the magnetic pull that drew her towards him.
He saw her approaching from the corner of his eye and quickly whipped his head to her.
"Hey," she said quietly, very aware of the abundance of activity happening around them.
He nodded his head suppressing his strong urge to touch her. Instead, he caressed her with the most charming gaze his heart could produce. His eyes told her all she needed to know, he still loved her and wanted her.
She felt her defenses crumble before him. She wasn't that strong. "Maybe I should go," she said now regretting her decision and trying to make a hasty exit.
He reached for her arm and stopped her from walking away. "It's no good, Sweetheart. I can't go on like this."
"Han, shh." She looked around to be sure nobody was listening and there was no press around.
With her arm still in his grip, he led her around the ramp where they had less of a chance of being seen. "Sweetheart, look at me." He needed her to see the desperation in his eyes. "I've gotta see you."
"Han," she exhaled, his name sounding so good on her lips. "I want to see you too," she admitted while raising her hand to touch his arm with the back of her fingers.
She looked around again to make sure she wasn't overheard. "I have a meeting tomorrow about proceeding with a divorce."
He was shocked to hear of this development. Just then, another pilot walked by, too closer to them to feel comfortable continue this discussion. This was certainly not the best place for a lover's tryst. "Let's meet, somewhere, just to talk," he whispered even lower.
She nodded her head and spoke quickly, in hushed tones. "How about the little bar you know in the old Sah'C Town?"
He shook his head. That was good and out of the way. "Yes, I know. 8 tomorrow night?"
"That should work. I'll give Isolder some excuse." She was flustered again, looking around.
"Sweetheart," he brought back her attention. "Are you alright? With everything that is."
She exhaled and brought her hand back to his arm. "Yes, Han. I'm alright."
She ordered her feet to move, though they were reluctant to do so. She brushed his arm as she passed by, returning to complete her Senatorial duties.
The next evening, Leia sat in her speeder along the quiet street outside the bar. Isolder had a late meeting, so she was in the clear. The meeting she had with her lawyer went extremely well and she wanted to share it with Han. She also needed some more of his encouragement. She was planning on broaching the subject with Isolder the next day. And she, unfortunately, knew how he would react. She kept her eyes on the people who walked into the bar, making sure there was not anyone she knew. She kept checking the time as her heel bounced against the floor.
Han soon pulled up on her left. She jumped out of her speeder and climbed in his passenger seat. They sat and smiled at each other, not sure what was the right move to make.
"Hi," Leia said. Gods he looked good. His hair rumpled from a day's work, his clothes slightly wrinkled from bending and working on his beloved ship. She could both smell and see the engine grease he had practically bathed in. But he was so… so Han.
"Hey," Han replied, also taking in his partner. The way her hair was loosening from her tight do, the way her cream dress floated and hugged her body, the way her eyes twinkled when she caught him staring at her.
She found herself unconsciously exhale any tension she had built up that day. Just his presence was a salve to her soul. She tried to tear her gaze from him to no avail. "I had so many things to tell you, but now I can't think of a thing."
She held him memorized. "Me neither." He paused trying to collect his thoughts. "What do you wanna do?"
"I don't know. We could go for a drive."
"Sounds nice." He started the speeder again and pulled away from the bar.
There was too much they needed to say to each other, so they were silent for the beginning of their drive. Leia kept wringing her hands in her lap. Han noticed and offered her his hand, which she took and calmed a bit.
She decided to dive into the inevitable conversation head-on. "I met with a friend of mine who is a divorce lawyer today, Laad Kolbe."
He spoke softly. He didn't want her to feel cornered. "How'd it go?"
She couldn't decide if she should be happy or melancholy at this moment. "Well, very well actually. We went over the steps that would be taken. He, of course, understands my public situation. It will certainly be a process but I am confident that it is the right decision." She squeezed his hand, feeling better with him right beside her.
He rubbed his thumb over her knuckles. "I know what you mean. Called up my own lawyer earlier this week only to find that Qi'ra met with him while we were gone."
This was news to her.
He continued. "I talked with Qi'ra."
She swallowed hard. "And how did she react?" Through all this, Leia's heart still hurt for her friend.
"She was defensive. Asked what she did to me to make me hate her. You know how she twists your words and throws them back in your face."
Leia nodded. Leia could only imagine Qi'ra's row with Han over a divorce.
"Why did she meet with your lawyer without you knowing?"
Han sighed. He hated legal or political talk. "I guess she wanted protection or something if we divorced. She already asked for custody of the kids and she wants me to pay money to support them." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Course I'll do that. They're my kids!"
Leia looked over sadly at Han. It was a damned business.
Han looked down at their joined hands, running his fingers through hers. "We agreed that I should move out next week."
"Will you stay on the Falcon or find a new apartment?" She asked.
He pursed his lips, obviously hesitant to answer. "Depends."
Leia bit her lip, all kinds of thoughts bubbling in her head. "My lawyer thought it was best if either Isolder or I move out too. Since he bought the apartment, I think it's best if I make the move."
An atmosphere descended. Neither was willing to look at the other. The answer was staring them in the face.
Han drove them off the main drag and stopped on the outskirts of the city. There was a small area where people came to enjoy the view. It was empty that night. They looked out over Galactic City, the lights from buildings created a beautiful picture. He parked the speeder, turned off the engine, and addressed her.
"You know what I'm gonna ask."
Of course she did. "Yes, I want to Han. But…" There was always a but. "I'm followed like a hawk."
"So?" He shrugged, not seeing a problem. "We'll be careful."
Sure, they knew how to be careful. "And if Isolder and Qi'ra find out?"
He answered. "Well, they'll have to know sometime. Not right away, but we could keep the secret until the divorces are finalized."
"Definitely secret until we're officially divorced." She would need to spend more time thinking about how to make this public announcement. She was pretty clear on what needed to be done about the split between the houses of Hapes and Alderaan, but how to introduce Han into her life… that was another layer she needed to consider.
There was a pause in the conversation before Han spoke. "I got a friend who's got an apartment about 30 minutes from the Senate building and 20 minutes from the Falcon's hanger. It's small, has a kitchen, living room…one bedroom…"
"Well that's all we need, isn't it?" She looked at him warily out of the corner of her eye.
He had to smile at her forwardness yet her obvious apprehension. He leaned towards her as she did the same. "Yea, Sweetheart', that's all we need." He kissed the corner of her mouth before she tilted her head to fully lock her lips with his.
"Leia, there is no way in hell you have thought this through?" Isolder was finally fully listening to her. "You can't actually be suggesting we break up the alliance that brought Hapes fully into the republic." He stood to his full height, hands clenched at his side and a possessive fury in his eyes that she didn't expect.
Leia stood, stern in her demeanor and firm in her decision. "Of course I'm grateful to see Hapes thriving under this arrangement. But this has nothing to do with politics." She tried to steer the conversation where it needed to go, but he was fixated.
"Does Mon know what you have cooked up?" He took a step closer to her and away from the living room chair he previously occupied. "She'll never let you do it."
Leia was trying hard not to be disgusted. "Our relationship is none of Mon's business."
He snickered, how wrong she was. "This whole arrangement was Mon's idea."
"Isolder," she tried to say what she wanted to. "We have nothing in common. We're not good together. You are beholden to your people and will always put them first. My decision is purely emotional."
His retort was immediate and angry. "Well maybe you should have considered the political aspect. I'll cut off all aid to the Alderaan survivors…"
That hurt, she hoped it wouldn't come to this. "That is your decision." She stood her ground. "Why is everything always about money with you?"
He stepped closer. "Since when is it all about emotions with you?" He was breathing heavily a few inches from her face. "Since when has the Ice Princess felt emotions?"
Ice Princess, her lease favorite nickname from the press. And he knew it pressed her buttons. "Stop trying to make me mad." She said with all the calmness she could muster. "We never even had a relationship to begin with, why are you holding onto something that was never there?"
She didn't see it coming. It happened before she could even blink. His fingers digging into her upper arms, his face practically against hers, hissing in her ear. "You were mine, you are mine."
She managed to pull her head back from him with her own strength. "I am not yours," she grunted back finally finding the anger in her own voice growling through. "I'm not a prize to be won."
He laughed at her. He actually laughed at her. "Yes you are. And I won. I bought you, Princess, with gifts, with my planet."
She felt the tip of his nails begin to pierce the skin on her arms as she tried to break free.
He held her firmly, his face now positioned directly over hers. "Everyone else wanted you, but you're mine."
A puzzle piece fell into place. In Isolder's eyes, she was a possession, an asset. A hard-fought asset, and a triumphant public win for him. He wouldn't give up his prize so easily.
Her eyes shot open as soon as his mouth slammed into hers. Her jaw slammed shut as soon as it hit, but not soon enough for his teeth to dive in. She barely felt what was happening, but soon she realized he was clear on the other side of the room, sitting on the floor and rubbing the back of his head.
Isolder turned his dark eyes to hers from across the room. "Kriff, your stupid Force tricks."
Apparently, the force was on her side today. "Don't you come near me again," she warned in a frighteningly low tone.
He picked himself up and wasn't about to take a step closer to her. "I don't have time for you now."
She felt the calmness return to her, her voice slightly shaken as she addressed him. "I know, you have to leave again." She stared him down, trying her best to get her message into his thick skull. "Can't you get it through your head that this is the part I can't go on with? I want someone who cares about me and wants to be with me."
Isolder turned to her with a start. "In that case, I will find someone else to fill my needs." With that, he sauntered out the door.
Leia's face widened and her feet felt weighted to the floor. A thought came to her and she knew it couldn't be far from the truth. He hadn't 'needed' her in any personal way in years. She suspected he had already found that someone else to fill his needs.